Duke Nukem Forever/WMG: Difference between revisions

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== Guesses about the development of the game: ==
== Duke Nukem Forever is part of a conspiracy amongst the video game companies to downplay vaporware. ==
Think about it. Duke Nukem's ship sailed a decade ago. Even when this game was announced, people were already sick of the snarky pop culture pastiche. While I think it was an actual planned game some time ago, I think it has been cancelled in reality (probably around the first engine swap). So why does 3D Realms continue to claim that they're developing it? Because by doing so, they and everybody else in the video game development community can benefit from having the ultimate vaporware product. Vaporware usually gets attention, but by having a game that has spent over a decade in development, nothing really seems so bad in comparison. Have an ambitious game get delayed an extra year because you fired the original staff? It won't make the headlines on the gaming websites because in comparison, Duke Nukem Forever is worse. Basically, ''Duke Nukem Forever'' gives them free rein to be as late as they want, for as lame a reason as they want, because no matter what, it isn't'' Duke Nukem Forever''. And just to make sure that people continue talking about ''Duke Nukem Forever'', they release the first promotional material for it in little over eight years. Don't be surprised if, when 3D Realms goes out of business, some other company will mercifully buy out their properties and continue "development" on ''Duke Nukem Forever''.
* 3D Realms have now gone out of business. Time to test this theory!
** And Gearbox have "taken over development"! Due for release later this year or early next year! Allegedly! Because we haven't heard ''that'' every twelve months for the last thirteen years! Until we actually see a product on the shelves, I'd say this one is truly confirmed.
* The principal player in this scheme, after 3D Realms, is Blizzard. See: ''[[Diablo]] II'', ''[[StarcraftStarCraft]]'', ''Starcraft: Ghost'', ''Starcraft II'', ''[[War CraftWarcraft]] Adventures'', etc. etc.
** What? Diablo 2 and Starcraft were actually released.
*** Ah, but both were heavily delayed. If there wasn't such a pariah as Duke Nukem Forever, then there might have been more anger with them being so delayed.
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== Being a generic shooter, Yahtzee will pretend the game is still in development hell ==
It's either that, or he'll stick with thefake review he's already got.
* Jossed. [https://web.archive.org/web/20110902045751/http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/3581-Duke-Nukem-Forever-for-real-this-time He did review it properly] and he was not angry with it, just hurt and disappointed.
== The makers of DNF made a deal with the Devil. ==
As a result of this deal, when DNF is finally finished and released to the public, the world will end. Thus they are delaying it as much as humanly possible.
* At some point within the next couple of years, this fact will be forgotten, and the developers will actually get to work on finishing the game, intending to release it around Christmas 2012. This will happen, and the world will end as per certain interpretations of the Mayan calendar.
** Clearly they shut down to avoid something like this, as it was too much power.
*** They shut down because they realized that they might eventually have to bring on a new team of developers, and part of the deal was that they couldn't mention the deal to anyone outside the team. The new developers might actually finish the game, so they decided to shut down to pre-empt them, however a collection of unwitting fans may still get their hands on the half-finished code (possibly via another [[Deal Withwith the Devil]] and complete the game.
* Alternately: The [[Deal Withwith the Devil]] was to secure ''funding'' to spend the rest of their lives "developing" a game without ever having to actually release anything. If they went and put a product on the shelves it would defeat the entire purpose of the deal.
** Alternately Alternately: The Deal with the Devil would allow them to make good games. The condition was that Duke Nukem Forever would never be released. Duke Nukem Forever, if released, would literally be the best game ever produced.
*** Even more alternately: ''Duke Nukem Forever'' actually ''was'' released, but one of the developers made a Deal With The Devil in order to save his elderly aunt's life. The Devil's condition was that ''Duke Nukem Forever'' would be erased from the timeline and no one would remember it.
* Of course now that they've shut down, it implies the deal is off. Therefore, if Take Two decides to have another company work on it, they ''could theoretically finish!''
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== The Halo Trilogy is really Duke Nukem Forever. ==
As explained by [http://www.godmodeonline.com/d/20070924.html this comic]
** Therefore, Halo: The Fall of Reach was ONI propaganda to cover up the Chiefs origins.
 
== Duke Nukem Forever is suffering from Seiken Densetsu Syndrome. ==
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* I had a copy of it once. No really, I did... but I, um, lost it somewhere. Probably down the back of my sofa. But it was awesome. 10/10. Best. Game. Ever.
 
== Duke Nukem Forever will cause the [[EndoftheThe End of the World Asas We Know It]] if it's released. ==
It's not a video game, but a signal to the Great Old Ones that the stars are in alignment and that their time has returned. As long as it's not released, the Old Ones will never receive their signal and will slumber forevermore. It's 'vapourware' because some brave heroes defeated the mad cult behind the other games (which, using mind-control, had created a massive wave of popularity surrounding them) and it's taken this long for interest in the latest release to die down sufficiently so that it can be safely disposed of.
* Well then, it looks like the human race is due for explosioning.
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== Duke Nukem Forever will be released before Max Payne 3 ==
DNF is on the 2011 calender, but [[MP 3MP3]] is not.
* Confirmed.
 
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== The next game will be titled ''Duke Nukem Go(es to Japan)'' ==
Think about it: the third game was ''3''D; the fourth was ''4ever''; if the trend of bad puns is to continue, the fifth game has got to play off "[[One, Two, Three, Four, Go]]". Besides, [[Tokyo Is the Center of Thethe Universe|everything's]] [[Katanas Are Just Better|better]] [[Instant Awesome, Just Add Ninja|with]] [[EverythingsEverything's Better Withwith Samurai|Japan]] and the land is full of babes yet to be... saved by Duke.
 
Of course, ''[[DN 5]]'' won't be released until 2086.
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* As a corollary: '''Duke Nukem is what George Broussard wishes he could be'''. Evidence:
** Duke Nukem is muscular; [http://farm1.static.flickr.com/30/38854267_6eaf333337.jpg George Broussard is obese].
** Duke Nukem is a womanizer, while [httphttps://wwwweb.archive.org/web/20121029152903/http://pcmaster.gr/content/show/5855/2 according to a Greek article], George Broussard is a homosexual.
** Duke Nukem owns a casino; George Broussard's main outlet for job frustration used to be gambling, which leads to the next point:
** Duke Nukem lives the exciting life of a man who singlehandedly saved the Earth multiple times and is adored by everyone; George Broussard lives the frustrated life of a man who spent 14 years working on the same project and restarting it from scratch multiple times, which drained out all of his creativity and every chance to find satisfaction in his job, while everyone considers him the laughingstock of the gaming industry.
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== DNF was a [[Franchise Killer]] ==
Going off the above theroy, this seems the only option for this franchise. A quick glance of the reviews on DNF say that it's avrage AT BEST while many others have panned it. Yahtzee said that if he didn't know the history of this game, he says he'd think it was RUSHED, and giantbomb ended it's review with this little comment: "If you're not willing to play a sloppy, cobbled together first-person shooter just because it has some kind of weird historical meaning, though, just forget this ever happened and move on." Despite the sequel tease, it's very unlikely that'll happen. People have been burned by the wating time to be 'rewarded' for a generic, brown, FPS and they won't want to see anything else from The King.
* A new singleplayer campaign has come out, which acknowlegdes the sequel tease as part of the canon (after Duke declares that he wants to run for president, a Duke clone pops out from backstage). There are also insistent rumors that Gearbox is working on a prequel called [[Shout -Out|Duke]] [[Batman Begins|Begins]].
 
== Guesses about the plot of the game: ==
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* The Devastator was pretty much unchanged. Just made easier to carry and given a nice redesign. But it was also made to hold [[Freud Was Right|69 rockets]] despite firing in increments of 2. You can tell Duke was a top designer in the "re-purposing" program.
* The RPG, aside from a lower ammo count, is essentially the same. Although it can be seen having a form of Heat Seeking in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CwHzclyYnI&feature=related this gameplay montage]. Nothing big, the EDF just felt it needed some tweaks.
* Now for the big one. Time for the hugest change the EDF could ever make to Duke's aresenal. They made the [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|Mighty Boot a finisher rather than a rather weak melee attack]]. How did they do this? Well they told Duke that smacking a Pig-Cop in the face with a huge-gun actually did more damage than kicking at them. Why? Because using The Boot as a finisher [[Rule of Cool|looks more awesome]]. Duke agreed, and now you can smack Pig-cops in the face with your gun AND boot them in the face!
 
== [[Twin Threesome Fantasy|The Holsom Twins]] are part of a plot to distract Duke so the aliens can conquer Earth without his interference. ==
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== Duke shot first. ==
Or that's how the Emperor wants it to look, at least. Duke gets a bad feeling in the Duke Cave, and then suddenly there are alien bastards trashing things inside the cave, trying to kill him, drinking his beer, and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|playing basketball without his permission]]. Then when Duke clears them all out and mounts his turret, he comes face to face with the Mothership. What happens when this stage starts? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Even on "Damn I'm Good" difficulty, the ship will do nothing to Duke - UNTIL HE OPENS FIRE. Then - and only then - does the battle begin.
 
== Doctor Proton was exploiting Duke's popularity for his own purposes. ==
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== Duke Nukem's regenerating ego in the place of health makes sense in universe. ==
Tile 4484 in [[Duke Nukem 3D]] (Atomic Edition) shows the text "Ultimate warrior", with a picture of Duke detailing his brain, skin layer, cells and DNA. This is a clue that Duke has been genetically engineered to be the ultimate warrior and actually possesses a [[X -Men|Wolverine]]-like healing factor. This only appeared in [[Duke Nukem Land Of The Babes]] and subsequent games due to [[Literary Agent Hypothesis]].
* This would also explain why {{spoiler|Duke survives the nuke at the end of the main game and}} his skin shows a [[Barrier Warrior|force field]]-like effect when he is walking on the surface of the moon in the final level of the singleplayer DLC.
* Agreed that his regenerating Ego makes sense in place of health, and agreed again that it must qualify as a super-power. Duke was once part of the military, but while he was always a decent soldier, he and Dylan underwent an experimental super-soldier type procedure. It gave Duke a standard amount of super-strength, perhaps comparable to Spider-Man or Captain America, but his invulnerability works like Kallark's does: the more confident he is, the less anything can hurt him. Duke's powers aren't known to the general public, but he sure knows, which is why he lives such a narcissistic lifestyle: it keeps his ego high enough to make him prepared to fight any minute. Unfortunately, his self-esteem is easily damaged by physical abuse, which is why it goes down for getting hit, even though it doesn't hurt him. If Duke ever had kids, they'd have the same powers.
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:Wild Mass Guessing/Video Games]]
[[Category:Duke Nukem Forever]]
[[Category:WMG]]
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