Freelance Astronauts/Funny: Difference between revisions

== Majora's Mask ==

** Kafei would do anything for love, but he won't do that.

{{quote|'''Doomisland:''' Go read the Hentai Let's Play.

'''Maxwell:''' I've been reading that but there's been no porn yet. }}

{{quote|'''Ferr:''' Hey kids, today we're here to talk about the dangers of hanging around with mummies. ''(others chuckle, pipes! begins beatboxing)''

'''Evek:''' This isn't an after-school special.

'''Ferr''': There's a women's shelter down the street, Link. ''(raucous laughter)'' Look at him, he's sobbing in shame! Fluids dripping out of every orifice...<br />

'''pipes!''': You'll be pulling bandages out of your ass for a week! }}

** It starts at about 7:30, for inquiring minds.

* Ferr and Pipes! imitating a typical husband and angry wife who kicks him out of the house.

* In [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e2Hqc98Lmk&t=1m12s Chapter 3-2], Ferr has a half-minute impromptu jam session of random sounds and gibberish that eventually culminates in a hoedown. Maxwell's [[Flat What|reaction to it]] is merely the icing on the cake.

== Master Quest ==

* Most of the following can be found in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVsDRhBUbeI this] video.

{{quote|'''Maxwell:''' Why were the [[Blush Sticker|blushing marks]] necessary? Or that [[Panty Shot|camera angle]]?<br />

'''pipes!:''' She's in looooove with you. She's gonna lay some eggs in a pond of shallow water, and you're expected to...<br />

You really ''bruised'' my ego! *laughing and punching* Oh, now it really hurts! *hysterical laughter* Yeaaaaah! }}

** Which episode of the LP is this? I can't seem to find it.

*** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo1gZtYviyk In this video as well.]

* While wandering around the Forest Temple with no clue where they're meant to be going:

{{quote|''This is like an insight into your future with Alzheimer's.''}}

** Doesn't help they sequence broke it.

{{quote|'''Ferr:''' * With the Item Get Jingle* HOLY FUCK A KEY!}}

** Earlier, when little Lunk is running through Kakariko and picks up a Cucco, there's a sudden shout of (and to the tune of the Item Get jingle) "YOU GOT A COOOOOOOOOCK!" causing everyone else to laugh riotously.

* The many deaths of <s>Link</s> Lunk in the Spirit Temple as Maxwell keeps falling into the pit. Over and over.

* Late into the first quarter or so of the LP, while they were staying up all night trying to race to see if they could beat the game before the end of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Hilarity ensues with sleep deprived babbling and signs of insanity as our four heroes try desperately to stay awake.

{{quote|'''Maxwell''': State save... that button works...(Lunk takes a plunge down a pit)

'''Ferr''': And Thank God for that! }}

{{quote|'''pipes!:''' Everybody dance now!}}

* "Hark! I hear the call of cock!"

* [[Running Gag|"IT WASN'T A ROCK...]][[B 52 S|IT WAS A ROCK LOBSTER!"]]

* This [[Overused Running Gag]] from the Dodongo's Cavern:

 

== New Super Mario Bros Wii ==

*** To clarify for those who don't want to watch it, {{spoiler|after ten minutes of a very difficult level that keeps killing the astronauts, Maxwell's running solo to the finish. Just before he hits the flag pole, he purposefully [[Press X to Die|presses A to go into a bubble]], dropping out.}} Here is pipes!'s [[Blatant Lies|measured, moderately disagreeing response]]: {{spoiler|'''"YOU...[[Atomic F-Bomb|AAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS!!!]] [[The Scream|AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!]] YOU [[Cluster F-Bomb|COCK NUGGET SHIT FUCKING COCK WAGGLING ASS BUCKING CUNT GRINDING]] [[Breast Attack|TIT-PUNCHING]] [[Refuge in Audacity|SHIT HOLE SMEGMA-FACED CLOWN FART!!!]] [[Black Comedy Rape|I WILL RAPE YOU!!!"]]'''}}

* At the very start, the Astronauts discuss why Wario wasn't made playable: apparently, [[Word of God]] was it was a game balance issue, as Wario's farting power would unbalance the game, and they didn't want to include him without it.

 

== [[Tetris]] Smackdown ==

** To say nothing of the hilarious one-liners they come up with: (more lines than Six Flags, more lines than a [[Kevin Smith]] movie, more blocks than LEGO-Land, [[It Makes Sense in Context|more columns than Ancient Greece]], more claws than [[Inspector Gadget]])...

{{quote|'''pipes!''': More! [[Badass Boast|You cannot stop the oncoming storm!]] So many lines! [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|It's like Studio 54, there's so many lines going on!]]<br />

'''Evek''': [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|It's not different at all]]! }}

* And again:

** pipes! ripping on Maxwell for choosing the Type-C music instead of the usual Type-A, suggesting that a) Maxwell "likes having cocks placed in [his] mouth" and b) thanks to the rules of Tetris, such a state would cause his head to clear like ''a'' Tetris and disappear.

** The first time Maxwell screws up:

 

== Half Life 2, a.k.a. The Kickboat Saga ==

* Dicking around with the airboat:

{{quote|'''Maxwell''': ''(runs the boat aground)'' Okay, I'm parked. ''(disembarks)''

'''Evek''': Yes! We get bananas! B-A--

''(The bananas then break apart and explode all around Gordon, leading to his death and making the Astronauts laugh.)''

'''Maxwell''': [[What Does This Button Do?|Oh...I wanted to see what right-click did]]...and then that happened. }}

* ''(after trying out a "singularity generator"<ref>generates tiny black holes, more or less</ref>)''

'''pipes!''': Exclusively! }}

* Gordon versus a single [[Mook]] standing just inside a large shipping crate. [[There Is No Kill Like Overkill|And Maxwell spams the exploding bananas]]:

'''Ferr''': ...or ten servings of death! }}

* Getting face-to-face with an enemy and spamming the kick button. ''His [[Your Head Asplode|head explodes, too]]'', leaving thick, red blood splatters all over the walls.

* In Zelda: Twilight Princess, after {{spoiler|Zelda fades from existence to heal Midna}}.

{{quote|'''Ferr:''' [[Back to The Future|So does Link have to make sure her parents kiss at the end of the Sea Dance to make sure she doesn't disappear?]]}}

* The group defeat Ganondorf in ''Twilight Princess'' by dangling a fishing rod in front of him.

** In the same video, "Have you accepted the lord Jesus [[It Makes Sense in Context|who is a butterfly]] as your lord and savior?" and the next few minutes after that.

* Maxwell's deliberate [[Hypocritical Humor]]

'''Ferr''': ...OK.

'''Ferr''':*a few seconds later* THERE'S DRAGONS IN HERE!!! AAAHHHH!! }}

** Pipes! playing the nervous game with Maxwell and his failure to play a similar joke on Ferr with state names. The punchline of which was sadly lost.

* Also, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQlZgko5DCI the epic] of [[Final Fantasy VII|Sephiroth]] [[Dragon Ball|Goku]] [[Trigun|the stampede]]! Here's the intro:

{{quote|'''pipes!:''' Let me tell you about my [[Dungeons & Dragons|D&D]] character. ... He's from my favourite animes! ... He has a red [[Badass Longcoat|trenchcoat]] and he has a gun, but he only shoots the gun to hurt things, 'cause he doesn't believe in killing.}}

'''pipes!:''' They're talking about Monopoly.

'''Evek:''' That sounds about right. }}

** 50+ minutes of incredibly raucous laughter and giggling, over attempting to get a ragdoll-like man to very slowly nudge himself along, even managing to cross a hurdle at 50m [[Moment of Awesome|completely on his knees.]] Accentuated by the brilliant song choices. You haven't lived, son; not until you've witnessed the defeat of QWOP to the tune of "Baby Elephant Walk".

** "We're off to a good start!" ''([[Laser-Guided Karma|runner promptly faceplants]])''

** "Evek has dysentery, better make a diaper out of his beard."

* Ferr's seeming inability to keep drinks in their containers, and out of his eyes.

{{quote|'''pipes!:''' Why, yes, I do love to chug-a-lug cocks; 'cause my name's Maxwell. I carry around a thermos of semen everywhere I go, I like to keep it cold and frosty.}}

* About halfway through the first intermission of the Wii Sports Resort LP (about halfway through) while playing Restaurant Panic they find the ice level, whereupon they start a slew of [[Incredibly Lame Pun|ice/cold puns]]. Over half of these puns are in the style of [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]] as Mr. Freeze from ''[[Batman and Robin (film)|Batman and Robin]]''.

* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-CLoGBaXNI BALL AND CUP! BALL AND CUP! BALL AND CUP!]

** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkHI2r_UVmE NEW GAME PLUS!]

* The Astronauts turn Atari racing classic Enduro into some kind of tribal ritual.

{{quote|'''[[Survival Mantra|DRIVE. DRIVE. DRIVE. DRIVE. YES. YES. YES.]]''' '''''NO!!'''''}}

{{quote|{{spoiler|'''Ridley''': Told ya I could fly!}}}}

* Maxwell, Evek, Irregular Hunter, and Drakkel play an all-Charger mutation in ''[[Left 4 Dead|Left 4 Dead 2]]''. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhzsbrlGpkM It] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIQi6qKpbQ0 does] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99de4yXHres not] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9xZak2JfwQ go] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEZLpW9GK7Y well].

* During a guest stream of Analgun's [[Left 4 Dead 2]] gameplay, during a mutation mode where crouching lets you move at insane speed, at one point Maxwell gets a hold of a [[Chainsaw Good|chainsaw.]] He then proceeds to run down irregularhunter.