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Freeman's Mind/Funny: Difference between revisions
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* First 30 seconds of the series, as his tram passes by a security guard (Barney Calhoun) banging on a locked door:
{{quote|'''Freeman:''' Ah, I'm not the only one who's late. SUCKEEEEEEER!}}
** This was even referenced in Ian Riley's ''Barney's Mind.''
* Freeman's priceless safety "revelation:"
{{quote|'''Black Mesa P.A.:''' In the event of an emergency . . . please stay away from electrified rails, and proceed to an emergency station until assistance arrives.
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* Dealing with a zombie:
{{quote|'''Freeman:''' "You know how when they say you are part of the help or part of the problem well they were talking about you. [shoots] There now you're part of the solution."}}
* "White men in armored Hazmat suits can't jump"
* "Uh-oh, train's leaving the station. All aboard!" *Headcrabs leap out* "No, not you! ''You don't have a ticket!''"
** "Damn, this suit does ''not'' protect against gravity." [....] "Facehuggers! Okay, batter up. Strike one. Strike two. Strike- AAAH! It's raining men! I mean aliens!"
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* Gordon is crawling through pipes, rambling about how awesome it would be to have pneumatic pipes connecting his house to a liquor store. This being Gordon, he's going over all this in a fairly serious voice, and it's pretty funny. What makes it hilarious is when he pops out to jump into another pipe, says "I'm a gopher!" perkily, then continues his liquor store warp tube monologue as if nothing happened.
* On the subject of radiation:
{{quote|'''Freeman:''' That's how Spider-Man got his powers, [''gets on a elevator''] that is such bullshit. For starters, [[Artistic License: Biology|the odds of a random mutation being beneficial are astronomical.]] But even if you did get one, you would get [[Nuclear Nasty|radiation poisoning!]] Comic book writers know as much about science as I know about [''pauses and thinks''] Well, I'm a bad example since I know about almost everything, but the point is they can try harder!}}
* "I hate awkward pauses like this..." [''BLAM''] "And of course, I'm the one who has to break the ice..."
* "'''''MONKEY ON A STICK!''' WE'RE GETTING FINGERED BY GODZILLA!''"
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