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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra: Difference between revisions
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{{quote|''"[[Could Say It, But...|Technically, G.I. Joe does not exist, but if it did]], it'd be comprised of the top men and women from the top military units in the world, the alpha dogs. [[Badass Boast|When all else fails, we don't.]]"'' |'''General Hawk'''}}
''GI Joe The Rise Of Cobra'' is a 2009 action movie directed by Stephen Sommers (''[[The Mummy Trilogy]]'' and ''[[Van Helsing]]''), based on the [[G.I. Joe]] franchise by Hasbro. The story follows two soldiers, Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans), part of a squad which gets ambushed while delivering four hi-tech warheads by an enemy deploying radically advanced weapons, vehicles and ground troops. To Duke's surprise, one of the assailants is his ex-girlfriend Ana, now going as "[[The Baroness]]" (Sienna Miller). Duke and Ripcord are saved from the attack by an secret elite squad of soldiers called G.I. Joe, who take over the warhead mission.
Duke was already a candidate for joining the team and with his refusal to pass the warhead mission on to someone else, they let the duo join the team. Unfortunately, their enemy is persistent and managed to complete their mission of stealing the warheads, planning to use it against Paris and other major cities. The only lead they have is Duke's familiarity with The Baroness, and tracking down The Mastermind behind this worldwide terrorist organization.
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** And all of Cobra.
*** Cobra's Neo-Vipers would be this if they had the numbers (only 26 were made at the time of the movie, though there appear to be more).
*** The "More than 26" part was because the Vipers (normal solders) and the Neo-Vipers look the same (Neo-Vipers have metal color chest armour while Vipers are all black, and in the game blue, like they should be)
* [[Badass Biker]] [[Biker Babe|Babe]]: Scarlett.
** It's [[wikipedia:Active camouflage|active camouflage]] a type of stealth that's being researched right now. Nothing that can be mass produced yet, but possible in "the near future".
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** Cobra Commander's was even better, {{spoiler|1=he was planning on the larger scheme failing so he could take over McCullen's position as leader and form MARS into COBRA. With Zartan impersonating the President this basically gives the United States to him.}}
* [[Beauty Is Never Tarnished]]: Averted, momentarily. Scarlet takes a metal pan to the face, and it actually bruises her and leaves scratches, for one scene only. Next we see her, it's like she's had weeks of recovery, or very heavy makeup for a girl who has no interest in physical attraction.
** Averted again later after the train crash. The Baroness and Storm Shadow both have head wounds, and seem dazed. They are fully healed by the time they get back to their base, but they might have had high-tech first aid kits in their vehicle.
* [[Big Damn Heroes]]: More than once.
* [[Black Best Friend]]: Ripcord to Duke.
* [[Bloodless Carnage]]: Despite a body count the size of a small town you can count on one hand how many times you see blood in this movie. Maybe everyone in the Joeverse bleeds an invisible liquid mixture of [[Rule of Cool]]+Awesomeness.
* [[Breast Plate]]: Scarlett, who seems to have one several times larger than her actual cup size.
* [[Brainwashed and Crazy]]: {{spoiler|The Baroness, as it turns out. Presumably, the rest of the Neo Vipers as well to some degree (although most were presumably already M.A.R.S. Industries mooks in the first place).}} Zartan, for his part, is [[Genre Savvy]] enough to casually smash his control chip just before implantation.
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* [[Elaborate Underground Base]]: The Pit, and how! Cobra's [[Underwater Base]] too.
* [[Mr. Fanservice]]: Byung-Hun Lee as Storm Shadow. Plus some other guys.
** [[Good
* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: Storm Shadow is a ruthless assassin, but refuses to kill women--and is disgusted by Zartan's murder of Cover Girl.
* [[Every Car Is a Pinto]]: There are ample cars blowing up in the Parisian chase scene.
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* [[Faceless Goons]]: The Vipers wear full-face masks that cover everything but their eyes. The actually look curiously similar to [[Army of Two|Salem and Rios]].
* [[Facial Recognition Software]]
* [[Fake American]]: The President of the United States is British. If you've played ''[[Command
** The President? That's nothing. Try ''the Baroness''. Which is pretty damn funny, given the character's origins in the comics.
* [[Fake-Out Opening]]: The film begins in 17th century France.
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** {{spoiler|"Construction of the presidential bunker has just been completed"}}.
* [[Forklift Fu]]: Ripcord kills a Viper with a forklift.
* [[Gainaxing]]: Scarlett. On a treadmill.
* [[Gatling Good]]: Heavy Duty's weapons and the Delta-6 "Accelerator Suit" powered armors. Heavy Duty describes the Delta's gatlings as gatling sub-machine guns that fire at 50 rounds a second, presumably with an internal magazine with thousands of rounds.
* [[Genre Savvy]]: Destro's ancestor finds out the hard way that the French are not falling for the [[My Death Is Just the Beginning]] trap and decide to make an example of him by forcing a red hot metal mask on his face. Unfortunately for them, shoving red-hot metal around his face is clearly going to kill him.
** {{spoiler|Cobra Commander is planning on the evil scheme that he supports failing.}}
* [[Good Hair, Evil Hair]]: The Baroness was blonde before she turned to evil, now she has black hair.
* [[Good
* [[Grey Goo]]: The Nanomite warheads (technically Green Goo).
* [[Guns Akimbo]]: Baroness seems fond of this. Although when using ballistic weaponry rather than scifi "pulse pistols" she realistically fires them two-handed.
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* [[Movie Superheroes Wear Black]]
* [[Multinational Team]]: They're real <s>American</s> International Heroes, G.I. Joe is there!
* [[Mythology Gag]]:
** General Hawk's "[[And Knowing Is Half the Battle|Knowing is half the battle]]!"
** Rex calls Duke "a real American hero" (as does Baroness in a commercial).
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* [[Power Walk]]: Near the end. "Damn, we look badass."
* [[Pragmatic Adaptation]]: Cobra Commander was given a new look because of the fact that Sommers thought that giving him a hood (or even a ski mask) would make viewers think KKK member when they saw him. Nor would they justify a form-fitting, [[The Blank|featureless steel face-mask]], since they wanted {{spoiler|[[Joseph Gordon-Levitt]]'s face to be at least partly visible}}.
** Similarly, GI Joe becoming an international task force was done due to [[Paramount]]/Sommer wanting a high overseas box office pull for the film and thinking an all-US team of soldiers would not sell tickets outside North America.
* {{spoiler|[[President Evil]]:Zartan}}
* [[Product Placement]]: Double Bubble, Norton AntiVirus, Cisco Systems, Chrysler, Hummer, Opel...surprisingly not one for Hasbro.
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** And, of course, there's [[Doctor Who|The Doctor]] [[The Nth Doctor|regenerating]] as well.
** Storm Shadow's the one using a double-bladed weapon in a reactor complex, which is funny given Snake Eyes' actor is the one that played [[Star Wars|Darth Maul]].
** Duke likes to kick ass and [[Chew Bubblegum]]. Right before the Paris chase, [[They Live!|he runs out of gum]].
** The [[Firefox|foreign-language-activated superjet]] seems familiar...
** The Eiffel Tower falls in much the same way you can make it fall in [[Twisted Metal|Twisted Metal 2]]
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