Game of Thrones/Recap/S1/E09 Baelor: Difference between revisions

{{quote| '''Robb:''' "Did you get a look at his daughters?"<br />

(''Theon snickers'')<br />

'''Catelyn:''' "I did."<br />

'''Robb:''' "...And?"<br />

We return to the other tent we vacated so hastily, to find Tyrion, Shae and Bronn playing drinking games. Tyrion gets mutated form of "[http://en.[wikipedia.org/wiki/Never_have_I_ever:Never have I ever|Never have I ever]]" going in which one player guesses a true-or-false statement about the other, and the loser drinks. Tyrion [[Sherlock Scan|Sherlock Scans]] his way through Bronn's past, but is completely flummoxed by Shae's. The most interesting dollop of [[Backstory]], though, is that Tyrion himself used to be married. (It's long, so here's a folder if you wanna skip it, but trust us: you'll be glad we've archived this as the show progresses.)

{{quote| '''Tyrion:''' "I was sixteen. My brother Jaime and I were riding when we heard a scream. She ran out onto the road, [[Clothing Damage|clothes half torn off]] and with two men on her heels. Jaime [[Attempted Rape|scared away the men]] easily enough while I [[Naked First Impression|wrapped her in my cloak]]. She was too scared to send off on her own, so while Jaime [[Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil|hunted down the rapers]], I [[Rescue Romance|took her to the nearest inn]] and fed her. Her name was Tysha. She was [[Heartwarming Orphan|a wheelwright's orphan]]. And she was hungry. Together we finished off three chickens and a flagon of wine. Impossible as it seems, there was a time when I was unaccustomed to wine. I forgot how [[Shrinking Violet|afraid I was around girls]], how I was always waiting for them to laugh at me, or look away embarrased, or ask me about [[Overshadowed Byby Awesome|my tall handsome brother]]. I forgot about everything but Tysha. And somehow [[One Thing Led to Another|I found myself in her bed]]."<br />

The next morning, Tyrion is roused by the sound of warhorns. It turns out that the Starks stole a march and are arraying for battle. He summons his clansmen and gives a [[Rousing Speech]] that gets them all charged up... and charging. Tyrion is carried along by the press until a clansman's mallet swings out of nowhere and knocks him out. And when he wakes up, [[Offscreen Moment of Awesome|the battle is over]]! ([[Refuge in Audacity|No, seriously]]. [[Game of Thrones (TV)/Funny|We're giggling too]].) The after-action report indicates that the battle was largely a slaughter; the "twenty thousand men" reported by Robb's friend the scout turned out to be only two thousand, with no Stark leaders or lords in sight. The Lannisters are left victorious, but wondering where Robb took the other eighteen thousand.

"But they have the soft hearts of women," Joffrey continues. "So long as I am your king, treason shall never go unpunished. Ser Ilyn, ''[[Wham! Line|bring]] [[Mass "Oh Crap"|me]] [[Holy Shit Quotient|his]] [[Off Withwith His Head|head]]!''"

Ned is conscious of his own breathing; the jeers of the crowd and Sansa's [[Angrish|hysterics]] are a background din. He looks up at the statue of Baelor and sees that Arya is gone; she at least will be spared the sight of the following horror. He bends his head, exposing his neck, startlingly pale and vulnerable. The sword--his own sword, Ice, the Valyrian steel [[BFSBlade of Fearsome Size]] of House Stark, the one he beheaded the deserter with [[Book Ends|nine episodes ago]]--[[Audible Sharpness|clangs and sings]] as Payne pulls it free of its scabbard. Eddard Stark mumbles a prayer as it arcs down.

* [[Combat Byby Champion]]: {{spoiler|After being taken hostage by the Stark army, Jaime Lannister proposes one to Robb Stark to end the war. Robb, knowing he stands no chance against the ''Kingslayer'', refuses.}}

* [[Last -Minute Reprieve]]: Ned is offered the chance to join the Night's Watch instead of being executed for treason. {{spoiler|Brutally subverted. Joffrey kills him anyway.}}

* [[Mass "Oh Crap"]]: {{spoiler|Sansa, Cersei, Pycelle and Varys when Joffrey orders to kill Ned. Littlefinger remains unfazed.}}.

* {{spoiler|[[Off Withwith His Head]]: Ned Stark's fate.}}

* [[Theme Naming]]: <ref>Baelor "the Blessed" Targaryen, after whom the Great Sept is named, was zealous in his faith and spent most of his life (not to mention his reign) in pursuit of holiness. In particular, he locked his wives away in a little castle called the Maidenvault so that they would not [[Distracted Byby the Sexy|tempt him with carnal thoughts]]. (Needless to say, he died without issue, and his uncle Viserys, former Hand of the King, ascended to the throne.) Baelor made a very famous decision between duty and family. And while some Westerosi consider him a saint, others think he was plain crazy.</ref>

{{quote| '''Tyrion''': [[Deadpan Snarker|Surely there are ways to have me killed]] [[Gallows Humor|that would be less detrimental to the war effort.]]}}

* [[Wham! Episode]]

* [[Wham! Line]]