39,327
edits
Groin Attack/Real Life: Difference between revisions
m
Mass update links
m (categories and general cleanup) |
m (Mass update links) |
||
Line 28:
* This seemed to be missed by most people, but in 2006 when the Dallas Mavericks were playing the San Antonio Spurs for the NBA Western Conference championship, coach Avery Johnson made a last second player change, and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLV3a4CgYLE Josh Howard received some collateral damage].
* [http://current.com/items/88862229_i-kicked-burning-terrorist-so-hard-in-the-balls-that-i-tore-a-tendon-in-my-foot.htm I Kicked Burning Terrorist So Hard in Balls That I Tore a Tendon in My Foot]: [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|Best. Headline. Ever.]] [[Cracked|Because they still make MEN up in Scotland]].
** Indeed, he did deal a kick to a burning man whose cohort was fighting with police, as the two men had [[Moral Event Horizon|just attempted to attack a civilian transportation center]] with a vehicle bomb and failed, putting the recipient of said kick somewhere in the middle of a Venn diagram of [[Asshole Victim]], [[Acceptable Target]], and [[Kick the Son of
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc5p3TmQx34 This slalom skiier] had an unfortunate encounter with a flag.
* Groin attacks are the bread and butter of the TV show [http://abc.go.com/shows/americas-funniest-home-videos America's Funniest Home Videos].
* According to an [[Urban Legend]], an old martial artist challenged a roomful of martial arts masters to knock him down. One by one they tried and were countered. Then [[Bruce Lee]] stepped forward and kicked him in the balls.
* Juggling with poi involves spinning two weights on the end of a rope, elastic or -- oh horror -- chain. Beginners spend much of their time hitting themselves in the face; [[Share the Male Pain|''male'' beginners, on the other hand...]]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHegV7jaY10 This guy] took a tennis ball to the nads [[For Science!]]. Said tennis ball was travelling at 50 mph. [[Share the Male Pain|You can cry now.]]
* [http://www.youtube.com/flatryan#p/u/0/23WfzwrGRA8 Nasty The Horse], who posts various videos online of him finding new and wince-inducing ways of destroying his testicles.
* [http://www.noreast.com/discussion/ViewTopic.cfm?topic_ID=68561&page=3 A guy] takes a bite to the scrotum from a bluefish.
Line 56:
* [[Tom Green]] essentially sees the time he had cancer as this (since it was in cancer in that particular area).
* Sam Houston took an arrow in the groin at the [[wikipedia:Battle of Horseshoe Bend|Battle of Horseshoe Bend]], the injury keeping him out of the rest of the [[War of 1812]].
** The [[Eric Flint]] [[Alternate History]] novel ''[[Trail of Glory
* Territorial male seals attempt to bite each other in the groin when they fight, rendering their rivals incapable of competing for females.
* Snails and slugs are hermaphrodites, but prefer to breed as males, so attempt to neuter each other with Groin Attacks before mating: whichever snail loses its testes is the one that gets pregnant.
* Rabbits also target their rivals tender portions when they fight. Territorial does do this when they don't want to make more little rabbits. To make matters worse, these fights usually end with said unfortunate bunny issuing the dreaded "rabbit scream."
* Some guy in San Francisco [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/07/man-cuts-off-penis_n_1578076.html?ref=san-francisco&icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl4%7Csec3_lnk2%26pLid%3D168085 removed his penis with an exacto knife] because...actually, it doesn't say why. He wasn't even drunk or high. We'll just leave it as [[Too Dumb to Live]].
* Removal of the male reproductive organs (and possibly including the penis itself) was one of the many, many ways you could lose a part of yourself in ancient Chinese [[Heh, Heh, You Said "X"|penal]] codes. It most famously happened to the historian Sima Qian, who tried to speak up for a general who didn't do the honorable thing and commit suicide after he was captured by barbarians.
* The Israeli martial art style of krav maga has a thing for groin shots. It's not like learners are intentionally told to attack the groin. The whole idea of krav maga is 'Screw the rules, use any and all weak points to defeat your opponent.' It just so happens that the groin happens to be a particularly weak point.
* Former Seattle Mariners third baseman Adrian Beltre took a line drive to the groin in August of 2009. He stayed in the game until it finished in the 14th inning, despite a torn testicle that eventually swelled to the size of a grapefruit. What song played when he first stepped up to the plate upon his return? "The Nutcracker Suite."
Line 77:
** Almost the entire world thinks it's a gruesome, barbaric, and misogynistic practice that should be ended. The act is designed to deny the woman any sexual pleasure, and it is often performed in a less-than-medical environment (e.g. a dirty hut with a large knife). To their credit, both the civil and religious authorities in the countries where it exists have condemned the practice in no uncertain terms.
* Worryingly enough, a [[Groin Attack]] can occur more or less spontaneously and without warning. It's called a testicular torsion and is what happens when a testicle twists around a bit too far and cuts off its own blood supply. Not only is it very painful, but the testicle must be untwisted within a few hours or it will die - which, if it wasn't enough for ya, will promptly result in gangrene if it's not promptly removed.
* The sadomasochistic practice of [[wikipedia:Cock and ball torture chr(28)sexual practicechr(29)|cock and ball torture]]. [[Exactly What It Says
* For some reason, it's common for people to think that kicking a woman in the groin is ineffective. Being kicked ANYWHERE is painful. The lack of testes means that a kick to the groin won't be quite as severe, but the female genital region still has nerve endings. A groin attack can still hurt a member of either sex.
** Females are also more likely to suffer permanent damage from a groin attack, for a number of reasons.
| |||