Homestuck/Timeline: Difference between revisions
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Due to rampant [[Time Travel Tropes]], this page has been organized into multiple timelines. It's difficult, if not impossible, to say which timeline is "first", so their order is essentially arbitrary with respect to one another <ref>Simply put, from the perspective of other timelines, each timeline is a [[Place Beyond Time]], so don't assume that Earth came first chronologically</ref> Events within the timelines do not always have a specific timestamp associated with them, but are listed in chronological order as best as possible. Indented events are likewise in chronological order, elaborating upon the chain of events taking place during a specific span of time. A few further notes on terms as well should be clarified:
* Beta and Alpha are used sometimes to refer to the Pre and Post Scratch Human Sessions respectively <ref>This comes from the naming of Sburb: pre-Scratch, it is Sburb Beta and post-Scratch it is Sburb Alpha</ref> and are not to be confused with beta, or offshoot timelines, which deviate from the alpha, or main, timeline. Due to the confusion this causes, they should be referred to as Pre and Post Scratch, or B1 and B2, explained below.
* Canonically, the four known sessions / universes that are the result of the interwoven efforts of the trolls and humans are known as A1, A2, B1, and B2, in the order they occur (Pre-Scratch Troll -> Post-Scratch Troll -> Pre-Scratch Human -> Post-Scratch Human)
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* April 10, 1910: The future Nanna Egbert lands, and is adopted by Colonel Sassacre.
* April 21, 1910: The future Grandpa Harley lands, and accidentally kills Colonel Sassacre with his flintlock pistols.
* April 21, 1923: The future Grandpa Harley and Halley leave the future Nanna Egbert for a life of adventure.
** An ectobiological sample of Halley is taken to create Bec.
* ???? ??, ????: A number of events occur at unknown points
** Betty Crocker disappears, leaving Grandpa Harley in control of her business empire.
** The future Bro Strider and the future Mom Lalonde land.
** Halley dies.
** Grandpa Harley becomes a world renowned businessman, adventurer, and scientist.
** Nanna marries Mr. Egbert and gives birth to Dad. Mr. Egbert later passes away.
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** Dave lands, killing Maplehoof.
** An ectobiological sample of Grandpa Harley is taken by John in the Medium.
* December 4, 1995: Dave is discovered and adopted by Bro Strider.
** Rose lands with the bunny gifted to her by John. Mom Lalonde discovers and adopts her afterwards.
** An ectobiological sample of Bro Strider is taken by John in Medium.
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** Jaspers is accidentally appearified out of the B1 universe and into the Alpha one by Roxy.
* September ??, 2000: Roxy sendificates Jaspers' corpse back into the B1 universe.
* September 21, 2000, 4:13:14 P.M.: Rose discovers Jaspers' corpse.
** He is later buried in a completely ridiculous fashion, signalling the beginning of Rose and Mom Lalonde's passive aggressive battles.
* ????? ??, ????: Gamzee causes John and Dave to start scribbling on their walls by exaggerating their fear of clowns and puppets, though they remain unable to see the drawings or even know they exist. This creates the Imp Doll in Dream John's room, and Cal in Dream Dave's room.
* August 26, 2008: Jade dreams of the meteor that will someday strike Dave's apartment building, and her dreambot saves a photo of it.
* December 1, 2008: Jade's thirteenth birthday.
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** Dave opens John's present and begins wearing the Ben Stiller shades constantly.
* December 4, 2008: Rose's thirteenth birthday.
** Rose recieves yarn and knitting needles from John for her birthday.
** Jade asks Rose about what happened to Jaspers, and advises her that a game will soon be released that will allow Rose to see Jaspers again.
** Mom Lalonde's birthday present to Rose is a giant princess doll. At some point over the course of the next few months, Rose uses her newfound knitting skills to Lovecraftify it.
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** Dave accidentally kills a rambunctious crow who had stolen his copy of the Sburb Beta, both landing on a neighboring building.
** Jade pretends to fight with Grandpa Harley.
*** Some unknown time later: Jade fights with Bec and retrieves John's package for her 13th birthday.
** John fights with Dad. He retrieves Dave's package to him and the Sburb Beta.
** John begins installs the Sburb Beta Client; the Server and Jade's package are still in Dad's car.
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** Jade's dreambot explodes, destroying Jade's bedroom and most of her belongings.
*** Becquerel break's Jade's fall by teleporting her bed under her. Jade remains asleep.
** Jade wakes up after a nightmare in the Furthest Ring. She contacts Karkat who explains (poorly) what happened and why her dreambot exploded.
** John connects to Jade's client.
** Becquerel Tier 1 prototypes himself, and destroys Jade's incoming meteor; the resulting atomic shockwave devastates much of Earth.
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* ???? ??, ????: The Exiles land at unknown points in time
** AR begins his examination of the Frog Temple.
* April 13th, 2422
** WV discovers his terminal in the middle of a deserted wasteland where Rose's house used to be and begins advising John.
*** WV accidentally turns off the capslock button, which opens a capsule full of canned food and a book on manners. He cannot open the food cans, but he eats the book and learns very much about human etiquette.
*** WV presses the tab key, which opens another capsule full of TaB soda. He is able to open the soda cans, at least.
** WV discovers some chalk, some oil, a chunk of uranium, and a chunk of amber with a glowing firefly inside. He eats the uranium, but uses the chalk and oil to create Can Town and a mural of the Incipisphere around it. He also creates a chessboard and spends a good forty minutes playing chess with himself and other tomfoolery.
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* In an attempt to retrieve John's copy of the Sburb Beta server disc, which is still locked in Dad's car Rose lifts the car up to John's balcony. However, Rose's laptop runs out of battery power, and the car, the server disc, and John's birthday package from Jade all fall into the abyss below.
* With some advice from Dave on how to weaponize his sylladex, John begins fighting imps.
* Nannasprite explains John's role in Sburb. Rose reconnects with John (with power from the generator by the mausoleum) and also listens to the tale, and updates her [[
* WV stops yelling at John and becomes more polite. He asks for a can opener, which John is unable to provide.
* John learns how punch-card alchemy works and experiments by alchemizing a bunch of stuff, including:
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** Dream John, while still asleep, flies a few feet outside his tower and opens his eyes for a brief moment during the end of Prospit's eclipse before John wakes up again. Dream Jade witnesses this, and decides to keep an eye on Dream John, since he's due to wake up any moment now.
* John wakes up. Against Rose's advice, he goes into his Dad's room and is very surprised at the fact that Dad is apparently not a street performer, but a boring businessman.
* Meanwhile, on Derse, Dad keeps breaking out of his prison cell with his superior MANGRIT and terrorizing the Underlings.
* Jack Noir is named.
** Jack indicates his absolute disgust with the dress code, which is dictated the prototypings of the kids.
* Jack sends the Hegemonic Brute to deal with Dad.
** Dad beats up HB easily.
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** Serious Business Goggles.
** A Telescopic Sassecrusher.
** Some Hellacious Blue Phlegm Aneurysm Gushers (with ghostly healing properties!)
** A pair of Remote Ghost Gauntlets.
** A Barber's Best Friend.
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** A fedora with four pieces of candy corn inside.
** A Wrinklefucker.
* Back on Derse, Jack Noir goes to deal with (read: kill) John's Dad himself.
** Dad lights Jack's ridiculous clown hat on fire in an attempt to distract him. Jack, in appreciation for the act of vandalism, allows Dad to go free.
*** At some point, Dad eventually reaches LOWAS, and carves his hat on a minitablet and drops it in a parcel pyxis.
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* Rose follows Mom's footprints in the sand of LOLAR through the secret passage in the mausoleum to a dock, which apparently once had a boat that is no longer there.
* Rose is advised by WQ to ask Jaspersprite about what's going on.
* PM? follows AR? all the way to Derse, but loses him there. So she brings along a parking citation as an excuse to snoop around.
** The Black Queen directs PM? to the office of Archagent Jack Noir, who handles tedious paperwork such as parking tickets. Sure enough, Jack does have the package, but he's not willing to do all the paperwork needed to release confiscated freight.
** Jack offers PM? a deal: she brings him the crowns of the White King and White Queen, and he'll give her the package.
*** PM? takes the Regisword and hitlist Jack offers her and leaves.
** Jack, curious as to what's so important about the green package, looks inside it.
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* John, in his travels, gets shot out of an oil pipe, which the bunny he got for his birthday.
** John sees what he presumes to be a mother and daughter salamander, and immediately reenacts his favorite scene from [[Con Air]].
* All of the kids slowly begin to interact with the trolls more frequently.
** Terezi offers to show John a shortcut to his seventh gate.
* PM? asks the White Queen what to do in regards to her bargain with Jack. The Queen agrees that, since Prospit is destined to lose their war with Derse anyway, following Jade's instructions may be their only hope. She gives PM? her crown and her ring, and instructs her to seek out the White King on the Battlefield for further orders.
* Rose learns about the Denizens and titles, and about her personal quest, from Jaspersprite.
* Dream Jade stays with Dream John in his room and waits for him to wake up. She tries to help him by writing positive encouragement on his walls over the negative scribbles.
* Rose learns from Jade that she (Rose) has also been subconsciously scribbling on her walls.
* Dave enters the Medium on the Land of Heat and Clockwork.
** The Seppucrowkernel splits, prototyping with crows and swords through chests.
** The Battlefield reaches its third state.
* John receives help from Terezi on how to fix his messed up rocket pack.
** He then uses the rocket pack to fly up to his seventh gate, but this causes the creation of an alternate, doomed timeline (see Doomed Timelines), which prompts the Dave from the future of that timeline to travel back and stop John from being a gullible idiot. John, after some persuasion, complies.
** John flies around LOWAS with his rocket pack instead, learning more about Skaia, Prospit, and Derse from Karkat along the way.
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* Rose's alternate future dreamself merges with her current dreamself, giving Rose most of her future self's memories.
** Dream Rose awakens on Derse, and she suddenly understands everything about what Jaspers told her years ago before he disappeared, and about the MEOW letters she had unconsciously scribbled all over the walls of her real room and her dream room.
* Meanwhile, Dad, Mom, and Bro are all out surviving in various places in the Medium, killing whatever underlings and monsters they encounter.
* Jack Noir finally gets fed up with the Black Queen's abuse and kills her with the weapon inside the green package. He then takes her ring and puts it on, assuming all prototypings thus far. He becomes the Sovereign Slayer.
* John procedes through his second gate, which leads him to the second gate above Rose's house, as Davesprite explains.
* Dave tricks John into showing him the captchalogue codes for the journals in Rose's room.
* Dream Rose flies over to Dream Dave's tower and bonks him on the head with a magical ball of yarn.
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* Dad finds the new hat and shoe he ordered, and then follows Grandpa into a small shed on LOWAS. They also transportalize to the Veil.
* John leaves a bucket prank over Rose's bedroom door, alchemizes a Fear No Anvil with a code he got from Davesprite, and rockets off to explore LOLAR
* Rose wakes, but not in time to catch John.
* AR? sees Dream Cal on the rocket board and follows him through a transportalizer to the Veil.
* John finds the island where Mom and Maplehoof went and uses the transportalizer there to also go to the Veil. Specifically in an ectobiology lab, where he finds all the various knicknacks that belong to the guardians.
** John finds and puts on a Junior Ectobiologist's Lab Suit.
* AR? finds Bro's rocket board (sans Cal) and thrashes around the Veil for a while.
* PM? leaves Prospit on a shuttle for Skaia. But not before being pickpocketed by the Courtyard Droll, who makes off with the White Ring.
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** A Hubtop.
** A Bronzed Vacuumbrella.
** A Huggable Soft Salamancer Plush.
** Bodacious Black Liquid Sorrow Gushers.
** A Hubtopband.
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** A Velvet Squiddleknit Dress.
** The Thorns of Oglogoth.
* Dave wakes up and also goes on an alchemy binge. He gets:
** iShades.
** A Turntop.
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** Dave goes back inside to destroy his copy of the journals, but finds them already missing and a time-traveled copy of himself dead on the floor (see Doomed Timelines). He promptly tosses the body out the window so as not to scare Jade, and then spends a good ten minutes staring at his own blood on his hands.
* John goes through the whole ectobiology sequence, creating infant versions of Nanna, Grandpa, Bro, and Mom, and then mixing their genes to create babies of himself, Rose, Dave, and Jade.
** Upon seeing baby Mom and Rose, John enacts the [[Con Air]] scene yet again, giving the oil-stained bunny John received from Dave to baby Rose, and also giving the knit-repaired bunny he received from Rose to baby Jade for good measure.
* In the Veil somewhere, Grandpa pilots a ship with Mom and Dad as passengers.
** Dad returns Mom's scarf, which he found many years ago on Earth.
* AR?, still riding Bro's rocket board through the Veil, discovers an asteroid that contains the Frog Temple.
** He enters the Temple and travels down to the Lotus Time Capsule, which is empty at the moment. He also finds a monitor that shows baby Nanna and baby Grandpa's arrivals on Earth, with an appearifier target over a large white dog.
** DD? also enters the Temple, bearing the copies of Rose's journals and their Sburb disc bookmarks. He throws the discs away, and they land inside the time capsule, which closes up and opens another seed.
** DD? uses the book with the MEOW code and the paradox slime of Halley the dog to create Becquerel, the First Guardian of Earth. AR? witnesses this and is terrified to the point of psychological trauma.
* John starts to make friends with Karkat in his own nerdy, derpy way, while Dave and Terezi bond over incredibly shitty drawings.
* WV?, a simple Dersite farmer on Skaia, grows weary of the war between Prospit and Derse, and organizes a rebellion of both the white and black armies agaist the Black King. However, Jack meets the Black King first, and kills him.
** Jack decimates the rebel faction, leaving only WV? alive.
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** Dream John falls from his room on the moon, directly in the path of impact. Dream Jade attempts to awaken him, but to no avail. She finally throws him out of the way of the explosion, but fails to fly out of the impact zone in time. She dies, just as Dream John finally awakens.
* In the Veil, the baby versions of the four kids and their guardians, as well various items they are carrying, are transported to meteors and sent towards Skaia.
** Skaia sends them both to Pre-Scratch Earth and Post-Scratch Earth, creating two alternate timelines.
* Rose, rather than entering her first gate as the game dictates, blows it up with Eldritch magic and flies off to elsewhere on LOLAR to seek answers on her own terms.
** She also finishes her Walkthrough and magically attaches it a server in the Furthest Ring, courtesy of the Horrorterrors.
* Dave enters his first gate and begins a long, timey-whimey journey.
* WV? finds the Evil Clown Dall from Dream John's room and rips it in half.
** He also finds Dream John's ghost bedsheets and wears them as clothes.
* Dream John finds Dream Jade's corpse and recovers the White Ring.
** He then sees himself hovering outside a castle in the clouds, and resolves to go there.
* PM? uses HB?'s communicator to call Jack Noir and arrange a meeting. Jack complies, and the trade of the crowns for the green package proceeds as promised.
** She then meets Dream John at the castle he saw in the clouds, angrily shoves the package into his hands, and walks away.
** John opens the package and reads letters from both Jade and Jake inside.
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*** Ahab's Crosshairs.
*** The Warhammer of Zillyhoo.
* AR? flees from the Frog Temple and arrives at the ectobiology laboratory where the real John remains asleep.
** The laboratory begins to fly toward Skaia's defense portals in the Reckoning, so AR? straps John to Bro's rocket board and sends him flying off to safety. AR? himself becomes trapped on the meteor, and is exiled to post-apocalyptic Earth.
* Grandpa retrieves Dream Jade's body and taxidermies it. He then departs aboard his ship.
** Mom and Dad choose to remain behind on the Battlefield.
* Dream John sees a vision of the White Ring in WV's hand in one of the clouds.
* Real John, still asleep, lands safely back on LOWAS.
* Rose travels around LOLAR, desecrating every ancient ruin she can find and plundering its secrets. She begins to find clues about {{color|lime|The Green Sun}}.
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* Rose travels to LOHAC and begins putting all of her research together with information from Doc Scratch.
** She attempts to contact Dave, except that Dave is still asleep and a Nakkodile has taken his iShades.
* John wakes up in the middle of a burning oil ocean on LOWAS.
** He is contacted by Karkat, who angrily explains what happened with Jade's prototyping and how it affects the trolls, and by Rose, who asks John to go to the Battlefield and retrieve a bomb called '''The Tumor'''.
** Prompted by both Vriska and WV, John suddenly does the Windy Thing. The Windy Thing puts out the fire.
* Jade, without her dreamself, has terrible nightmares of the Horrorterrors in the Furthest Ring, which make it difficult for her to get the amount of sleep she is used to.
** In a very sour mood, Jade tells off ''both'' Karkats for being unbelievable jerks.
* John, at Vriska's prompting, locates his Quest Bed. He asks Vriska to put him to sleep, which she does.
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** Felt!Dave wakes up and gets off the Quest Bed. Jack Noir promptly teleport-murders him (see Doomed Timelines).
* Jade encounters a First Guardian-powered underling, which is ''absurdly'' more powerful than the enemies the kids have faced so far. The imp teleports their fight all around the Medium
** A Dave on LOHAC wakes up at the sound of Jade's rifle as she strifes with the imp.
** Another Dave on LOFAF also witnesses the battle.
** Becsprite finally steps in and destroys the imp in a violent nuclear explosion. <ref>Good dog. Best friend.</ref>
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* Jade takes a look around the Incipisphere with her new goggles. She sees God-tier John on the Battlefield, being approached by WV, Rose talking with Doc Scratch on LOHAC, and finally, Bro and Felt!Dave's dead bodies.
** Jade contacts Dave to make sure he's alright, and he reassures her. He also hints that she's about to do something essential to the kid's plan, but refuses to tell her what so that she can make the decision on her own.
* Jade goes up to the lab at the top of her house, where her stuffed dreamself and Jack's stolen Fourth Wall await.
** She summons Becsprite with an irradiated steak.
** Jade throws her dreamself's corpse into Becsprite, creating Jadesprite.
** Jadesprite freaks out, blowing the lab off its spire and sending the two rolling downhill. They eventually stop.
*** Jadesprite turns out to be highly emotionally unstable and completely breaks down. She's no use to anyone like this.
* Jade is trolled by Karkat, and for once is happy to hear from him because anything is better than Jadesprite's constant crying.
** Karkat, who is being polite for a change, gives Jade some advice and also sincerely apologizes for being a jerkass to her for her entire life. Jade accepts his apology, and they begin working together on a plan to escape the effects of the Scratch.
*** As a first step to this plan, Jade turns off the Fourth Wall in her grandfather's lab and draws it on her scribblepad, thereby captchaloging an undamaged copy of it.
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** John, highly concerned, attempts to call Karkat back. However, the Karkat he gets in touch with is from the wrong point in time and has no idea what John is talking about.
* John eventually locates a castle and, in attempting to land nearby, crashes the car.
** While exploring the castle on foot, John talks to Vriska some more. She relates to him the story of her difficult childhood and her mixed feelings over killing Tavros.
** Unable to find his father in this castle, John decides to go get '''The Tumor''' from the core of the Battlefield. On Vriska's advice, John creates a tornado planetary drill and bores straight through the Battlefield. He descends into its core, finds '''The Tumor''', captchalogues it, and returns to the surface.
* Meanwhile, Dad and Mom are on a date. Jack interrupts the date by killing them both. He then attempts to accessorize with his new trophies, but decides that This Is Stupid.
** He dwells upon the urges Becquerel's prototyping has conferred upon him, including his newfound inhibiting loyalty to Jade. He contacts DD? requesting that he do something about Jade, and after a brief argument they settle on sending CD? after her.
** DD? contacts CD? with his new mission; CD? is on the battlefield with the Uberbunny, and the two are witnessing John's tornado. CD? reports that he has failed to find the White Ring.
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** Jade informs Rose of her mother's death, and Rose reacts by considering going after Jack directly, slipping into a distinctly sucidal mindset. Both Jade and Doc Scratch attempt to talk her out of this, and Scratch posits that the Horrorterrors have had a corrupting influence on her. On his advice, she consults the cue ball for answers as to the Horrorterrors' true alignment, but the answer causes her to go completely off the deep end in every way.
** Rose goes grimdark, thus initiating the Trollian blackout of which Kanaya spoke. She flies off to the Battlefield to seek revenge upon Jack.
* John and WV encounter the Uberbunny and CD?. CD? is so excited that he promptly forgets his mission. John names the Uberbunny Liv Tyler.
** Although Liv lost all her weapons in John's tornado drill, the miniature Warhammer of Zillyhoo quickly shows up. Liv restores it to normal size, and all behold its glory.
** John tasks Liv, WV? and CD? with taking '''The Tumor''' to Dream Rose on Derse. He commandeers a Dersite battleship for their use, which Liv shrinks to better suit her size. He hands over the Wallet Modus and all its contents, neglecting to keep the Crosbytop, much to Jade and Vriska's frustration.
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* Rose descends to the Battlefield, looking for revenge upon Jack.
** John sees Rose's descent and thinks Dad might be in that area, and departs for the white castle.
* Rose lands on the white castle near the corpses of Dad and Mom and goes hunting for Jack in the castle, encountering the distressed remnants of WV?'s rebel army within.
** She instead finds John in the castle's bowels; though they can't communicate, they settle on her leading him to where Mom and Dad('s corpses) are.
** As they progress back, they find that the army remnant present in the castle has since been slaughtered by Jack.
* CD? attempts to steal the Tumor from WV?, but is thwarted by Liv, who steals the captchalogue card out of the wallet. CD? takes an escape ship and reports in to Jack, unaware of Liv's actions.
* John and Rose find Jack near the site of their parents' death.
** Jack kills John before he can do anything, and an enraged Rose engages him in a duel. Rose loses and is killed by Jack.
** Jack receives a message from the CD? concerning the whereabouts of the White Ring, and departs.
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* John comes back to life and revives Rose as her dreamself as per the advice Vriska left for him on Rose's hubtopband.
** Dream Rose awakens on Derse as the new primary Rose.
** John is also contacted by Karkat, who instructs him to travel to LOHAC to initiate the Scratch.
* Late into her frog-catching work, Jade and Dave are confronted by Jack. They engage him in combat, and although Jack still cannot harm Jade, Dave gets caught in some spatiotemporal crossfire and is killed.
** Jade is advised by Karkat on the process of reviving a player's dreamself.
*** Dream Dave awakens on Derse as the new primary Dave.
** Jack is near-completely overcome by the urges of loyalty provided by Becquerel, and starts following her around like a dog.
* On the Battlefield, Nannasprite learns of Dad's demise and is contacted by fedorafreak, who has found "his" Quest Bed and is dying from an encounter with underlings in "his" session. As he dies, Nanna consoles him with a story of her childhood under Betty Crocker.
* On the Battlefield, Jadesprite encounters Davesprite, heavily wounded and bearing the unbroken Royal Deringer. Following a conversation on the nature of the events leading him to obtain the sword, Jadesprite teleports the Royal Deringer away to Dave on Derse.
** Meanwhile, the first Unreal Air finally arrives on the Battlefield like a fucknig piece of gargbage.
* Rose and Dave meet on Derse's moon. Liv arrives and delivers the Tumor. The Royal Deringer appears before them, sent by Jadesprite. It snaps in half at Dave's touch, and he uses it to sever the chain connecting Derse and its moon.
** Rose knocks Dave out with her magical yarn, and she and Liv depart with the Tumor, sailing the moon through the Furthest Ring.
*** DD? stows aboard the moon and goes with them.
** Rose, on her journey, passes through a dream bubble that is actually inhabited by a sleeping Dave. They talk, and come to terms with a few things, but DD? interrupts them.
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* John starts the Scratch on Beat Mesa using the Quills of Echidna, fending off underlings in the process.
* CD? kills Jade with the ton of shaving cream from Dad's wallet rigged with explosives.
** The complete Genesis Tadpole is knocked into the Forge by the blast.
** Jack flips the fuck out and kills CD? in retaliation, then takes Jade's body to her Quest Bed.
* Jack escapes the impending Scratch by travelling to the Frog Temple and hiding in the lotus time capsule. Shortly thereafter, the Frog Temple's meteor takes part in the Reckoning and is flung to prehistoric Earth through one of Skaia's portals.
* Jadesprite, who is also Dream Jade and therefore qualifies, ascends to the God Tiers, merging with and becoming the primary Jade and manifesting on the Reckoning-stricken Battlefield before Davesprite.
* John completes the Scratch. The Beat Mesa rises from LOHAC to Skaia, carrying John with it.
* Jade begins to execute what appears to be her escape plan. She commandeers a Prospitian battleship and miniaturises and collects the Battlefield and the four Lands, picking up John along the way.
** She enlarges the Fourth Wall she drew earlier and flies the battleship straight through it, escaping the scratched session and fulfilling her bargain with Echidna.
* The Beat Mesa flies into Skaia, and the Scratch comes into effect.
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'''Doomed Timelines'''
* John follows Terezi's advice and faces his Denizen before he's ready. John and the Typheus talk about a few things before the Typheus kills John.
** Without John to complete the chain of players, Jade is unable to enter the Medium and stays behind on Earth, presumably to die when the final meteor strikes.
** Dave and Rose continue their quests for four months, trying to gain as much knowledge about the game as they can.
** Finally, Dave travels back in time to stop John from leaving and avert this timeline.
** Rose goes to sleep, and her dreamself merges with the dreamself of Alpha Rose. This timeline ceases to exist.
* Dave travels back in time to stop DD? from stealing Rose's journals, and is killed.
* Dave chooses that heads on Terezi's coin flip will mean that he will proceed to his Quest Bed and find out about the God Tier process immediately, rather than later. He goes to sleep on his Quest Bed, but nothing happens.
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* Vriska ceases FLARPing with Eridan in favor of Terezi. As Team Scourge, Terezi tries to limit Vriska's predations to the "guilty", with limited success.
* Tavros begins FLARPing with Aradia, forming Team Charge. They develop a rather one-sided rivaly with the Scourge Sisters (read: Vriska relentlessly picks on Tavros, while Tavros just takes it and Aradia and Terezi try in vain to keep things fair.)
* A doomed Aradiabot impacts Alternia, carrying with her Li'l Cal and Dad Egbert's Wallet Modus, which contains a fedora hat and a Crosbytop. The impact exposes the buried blue Frog Temple near Aradia's hive. Aradia investigates and informs Sollux that she has found the second set of ruins, and he soon sets to work completing the code for the game that will be called Sgrub. Li'l Cal is given to Kanaya, who sews him a new green felt outfit. Aradia keeps the fedora, the Crosbytop, and the remnants of the Aradiabot.
* During an otherwise routine Charge vs. Scourge FLARP session, Vriska finally pushes things too far. She assumes the role of Tavros' [[Game Master]] and arranges, with Doc Scratch's assistance, for Terezi and Aradia to be distracted elsewhere while they play. Tavros soon finds himself overwhelmed with the overpowered enemies Vriska sends out at him, cornered at the edge of a cliff. He tries to back out of FLARPing (even trying to get help from Aradia and Terezi, to no avail), but Vriska manipul8s him and forces him to "fly" off a cliff. He lands hard, and is paralyzed from the waist down. While waiting for help to come, Tavros communes with the Horsaroni Fiduspawn at his hive, causing it to inscribe the t1ck code on the walls of his hive and in his FLARP manual with the blood of its spawning plush (though he later does not recall doing this).
* Terezi tries to talk Aradia out of getting back at Vriska, but fails. Guided by the voices of the dead, Aradia summons the ghosts of all of Vriska's victims to torment her.
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* A doomed Aradiabot arranges for Karkat to trigger the Mobius Double Reacharound Virus. Triggering the virus causes Karkat's computer to explode, blowing a hole through his hive and killing his lusus. The virus also curses Karkat and everyone he comes into contact with, ensuring the deaths of their respective lusii.
* Sollux wakes up from his involuntary nap, and finds he had ingested some mind honey during it. Unable to restrain the optic blasts, he directs them upwards, destroying the roof above and killing his lusus.
* The Sgrub session starts.
** Meteors begin falling down on Alternia.
** The Condesce and her fleet attempt to return to their home planet, but fail to reach it in time to do anything.
** The remaining lusii of the trolls are all killed (except Aradia's, which was already killed when her hive was destroyed). They are eventually prototyped into kernelsrpites (again, except for Aradia who uses the head of the Frog Temple as her kernelsprite.)
** The death of Feferi's lusus Gl'bgolyb sets off the Vast Glub, killing every troll in the universe except the Condesce and Feferi.
*** By the time this occurs, all the troll players are in the Medium except for Sollux and the aforementioned Feferi. Sollux is able to send Feferi into the Medium and then dies, entering the game as a corpse.
** With her army and her ship's Helmsman dead, the Condesce begins to make her way back to Alternia in the Battleship Condescension.
* ??? years after Sgrub: The Banished Quasiroyal, an exiled Black Queen, wanders the deserts of post-apocalyptic Alternia when she is accosted by Doc Scratch, who gives her the new identity of Snowman and the power to destroy the Troll universe upon her death. She becomes an Exile for the Troll Session and proceeds to manipulate Vriska and Terezi into getting Jack Noir exiled in revenge for her own banishment.
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** The Midnight Crew Intermission: The Midnight Crew - Spades Slick, Clubs Deuce, Diamonds Droog, and Hearts Boxcars - infiltrate their mansion of their rival gang, the Felt. After several time-related shenanigans, Spades Slick ends up in a timeline where all of the Midnight Crew and the Felt are dead, except for himself, Snowman, Doc Scratch, and Lord English. Spades Slick loses an arm and becomes an Exile of the Troll Session. The remaining Troll Exiles are Clubs Deuce, Diamonds Droog, and Hearts Boxcars, likely also due to time-related shenanigans.
** Spades Slick gets a new robotic arm and confronts Doc Scratch. Further events transpire, resulting in Doc Scratch giving Spades a gun to kill Snowman with.
** With the Handmaid's covert assistance, Hussie bursts through the Fifth Wall to deal with Doc Scratch.
** The Handmaid escapes in the confusion, but is caught and forcibly recruited by Lord English who sends her back in time as his immortal agent of discord and strife.
** The Battleship Condescension reaches Alternia. As her final mission after millenia of service, the adult Handmaid battles the Condesce, [[You Kill It, You Bought It|who kills her and becomes Lord English's slave in her place.]]
* Spades Slick finds Snowman and kills her with Doc Scratch's gun, resulting in the end of the troll universe. Its mass is channeled by the Tumor into the creation of {{color|lime|The Green Sun}}.
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== Troll (A2) Session ==
== '''{{color|purple|Troll Session}}''' ==
* Karkat and his hive enter the Medium, in the Land of Pulse and Haze.
* Terezi and her hive enter the Medium, in the Land of Thought and Flow.
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== Post-Scratch Human (B2) Universe ==
== '''{{color|lime|Post-Scratch Earth}}''' ==
* April, 1910: Poppop Crocker and Grandma English land.
** Colonel Sassacre and Betty Crocker raise them, but at some point Grandma English recognises the Batterwitch is evil and leaves.
* ??/??/??: A variety of events occur. Grandma English is exiled from society, Poppop Crocker becomes a successful comedian, and Bro Strider and Mom Lalonde become successful artists.
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* November 11, 2011 (Also known as 2X3 Prong Day or 3/11): The Sburb Alpha is finally released. Jake and Jane's timeline occurs on this day.
** 11:11 AM: Crockercorp initiates it's re-branding initiative, changing all the spoon symbols to forks (which resemble the Battleship Condescension).
** Around 11:24 AM: Jane notices her copy of the Sburb Alpha has arrived and attempts to leave the house to check the mail.
** She activates Huggy Bear. It defaces the stuffed body of her Poppop, having been hiding under it's head.
** Around 12:01 PM: After speaking with Dirk Strider, she renames the bunny Lil' Sebastian.
** Jake English Strifes with the Frightening Fauna on his island home.
** Lil' Sebastian throws a fridge through a wall in Jane's house, prompting her to throw down her hat in disgust.
** Jake is saved from a seagoat by Brobot.
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** Jane is saved from the explosion by a cat-shaped First Guardian. She awakens behind her house, unharmed.
** Jane returns to her room, which Dad blocks with a bathtub.
** 1:11 PM: Jane contacts Roxy and receives her pirated copies of the Sburb Alpha. Since Jane has said she'll believe anything Roxy says for one day, Roxy demonstrates her appearifier using Jane's old copy of Colonel Sassacre's unabridged joke book.
*** The joke book accidentally crushes Jaspers/Frigglish when it lands, causing Roxy to log off. She tells Jane not to run the Alpha until she gets back.
*** Unable to wait, Jane installs the Sburb client on the computer. A message from Roxy appears on the installer, telling Jane to step away from her computer.
*** The ~ATH code in the client causes Jane's computer to explode, sending her flying out the window. She lands on a couch on a tree, apparently prepared by GCat.
** 1:43 PM: Dirk Strider contacts Jane. He has Lil' Sebastian install the actual Sburb client on the computer in Jane's Dad's study.
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** Jake enters the Medium, the last member of his session to do so.
* 12/11/11: The Condesce, having made herself known, continues to conquer the world in a slight but steady fashion. Production of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff movies also speeds up in this time.
* Overall culture, save for Complacency of the Learned books (but not the movies) and Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, continues to degrade. Guy Fieri rewrites the Constitution in its entirety, and begins a mass massacre of humans, being responsible for five billion casualties. Other countries experience similar situations and the thread of human civilization begins to deteriorate.
* 2024 (13 [[Hit So Hard the Calendar Felt It|Post Condescension]]): [[Insane Clown Posse|Presidents Jay and Dope]] are elected for a single term (as dual Presidents, not President and Vice President), in "the last free election the world would ever see", and highly degrade the quality of the United States. They proceed to make a mockery of everything. This is considered to be the decline of human civilization.
** Aproximately 2035 (24 P.C.): Presidents Jay and Dope (having extended their terms) are challenged to a duel by Strider, Dirk's Ancestor. He slays them both in the last gasp of the Resistance, before flying off on a shitty skateboard, never to be seen again. It has no effect on the state of world affairs.
** Meanwhile, Lalonde, Roxy's Ancestor, challenges Guy Fieri to a battle, and blinds him with her needles, killing him. She then rides his torso down a bloody waterfall.
** Strider and Lalonde finally catch up with the Condesce. She, however, is much more powerful than both of them and kills them.
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== Post-Scratch Human (B2) Session ==
== '''{{color|red|Post-Scratch Human Session}}''' ==
Uniquely, the Post-Scratch Human Session occurs during two timeframes. The past, when the Nobles' Dreamselves are active, and the far distant future, where everyone has died and the Nobles begin to enter.
=== Past Timeline ===
* At some point, Her Imperious Condescension takes over Derse as the Black Queen.
* At some point, Dream Dirk realizes that he is awake on Derse. He feigns sleepwalking in order to gather information.
* The Condesce orders Jack Noir to have the heroes' dreamselves assassinated.
* Dream Jake is killed by Courtyard Droll feeding him peanuts in his sleep.
** Dream Jane awakens in Prospit, and finds that there is a funeral being held for Dream Jake, but then vanishes when normal Jane wakes up.
* Dream Jane awakens in Prospit again.
** She sees strange images in the Skaian clouds shortly before she is killed by Jack Noir.
** Her body starts glowing, so Jack absconds as bombs rigged by Courtyard Droll explode the base of her tower, causing its ball to drop. The ball bounces around and explodes in a courtyard.
* Dream Dirk is accosted by the Hegemonic Brute with apparent intent to kill. Dirk decapitates HB and wonders how to keep knowledge of his awake-on-Derse status from spreading.
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** Jane solves a puzzle and causes her house to resurface. Upon reaching her house, she meets Gamzee, who has reached his God Tiers and used Aradia's crystal music boxes to time travel.
** Gamzee sells Jane a variety of supposed magic potions that are almost certainly the blood of the dead trolls.
** Gamzee prototypes Jane's Kernelsprite with the bodies of Vriska and Tavros. Tavrisprite almost immediately self-destructs.
* Roxy enters the Land of P??? and Neon (?).
* Dirk enters the Land of T??? and Krypton (?).
* Jake enters the Land of M??? and Xenon (?).
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** After killing DD?, Rose and Dave enter the crypt in the center of Derse's moon, where their quest beds await. They take the Tumor out of its captchalogue card and wait for the countdown to end.
** The Tumor explodes, creating the {{color|lime|Green Sun}} and killing Rose and Dave, who immediately ascend to the God Tiers. They then make their way to the surface of the sun.
* Free-floating in the debris of two universes that compromises the {{color|lime|Green Sun}}, in a [https://web.archive.org/web/20130312061030/http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/12341136347/le-factoids small, preserved pocket of green-hot spacetime soup], Doc Scratch's dead body metamorphoses into Lord English.
** Lord English's Cairo Overcoat appears on him and promptly transforms into a time-travelling sarcophagus, transporting him to an unknown point in the Alternia timeline.
** Lord English releases the Vast Honk prophesized by Gamzee's religion.
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* Roxy briefly is trapped in the Furthest Ring during a disruption of her [[Portal Network]], but flees again after meeting Meenah, who attempted to knock her out.
* Andrew Hussie appears in a dream bubble as a result of his ill-fated attempt to defeat Lord English. He proposes to Vriska, who found him in the Land of Sand and Zephyr, but it doesn't go well.
* Vriska and Tavros appear in a dream bubble after becoming Tavrisprite.
* Jake appears in a dream bubble after falling unconscious and relives a memory with Dirk from his 13th birthday.
** Aranea finds Jake and has him come to a meeting she set up with those on the meteor and Meenah.
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== Hussie-verse ==
* Hussie draws ''[[Homestuck]]'', making occasional self-insert recaps. That's really all there is to say on the matter.
* Ms. Paint is hired to give [[GIS Syndrome|his study]] a nice Felt-green Photoshop makeover. Hussie is impressed and maybe slightly turned on, but is quickly distracted by his frustration with Lil Cal.
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[[Category:Homestuck]]
[[Category:Timeline]]
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