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*** [[Leeroy Jenkins|"Alright, chumps, let's do this! BARNEY STIIINSOON"]]
* When Barney and Marshall are [[It Makes Sense in Context|arguing over which one of them Ted has gay dreams about.]]
{{quote| '''Marshall:''' Ted and I have a history! I could do things to him that would blow his m... ...Why do we keep trying to have sex with Ted? <br />
'''Barney:''' I don't know; it's weird. }}
** [[This Is for Emphasis, Bitch|"I'm cuddly, BITCH! Deal with it!"]]
* Ted [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1Sxhc02L8g trying to teach Barney how to drive.]
{{quote| "THROW ME THE IDOL; I'LL THROW YOU THE WHIP!"}}
* Ted getting beat up by a goat. A girl goat.
* From "The Pineapple Incident":
{{quote| '''Ted:''' Marshall thinks you're a vampire.<br />
'''Ted:''' Hey, how easy do you think it is to sneak into a zoo? I have to see some penguins like ''right now''!<br />
'''Ted:''' Hey I'm something stupid...do me. }}
* When Robin beats Marshall's high score at Fisherman's Quest (FQ) and Marshall says, "SHE'S CANADIAAAAAAAAAN! ROBIN'S CANADIAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
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* Barney's explanation of where the three days rule came from.
* Barney's attempt at calling up Robin and asking her out in "Do I Know You?", culminating with him panicking and trying to pass the whole thing off to Lily as a practical joke, and then running out of the room.
{{quote| '''Lily:''' You left a voice, but it wasn't ''male''.}}
* [[Project Runway|Tim Gunn's]] [[One-Scene Wonder|scene]] as Barney's tailor in "Girls vs. Suits". Mainly for Barney's extreme anthropomorphization of his "injured" suit.
** The same episode has a hilarious [[BigNon LippedSequitur Alligator MomentScene|Song and Dance routine]]:
{{quote| '''Marshal:''' What would you do if you had to choose between your suits and a pot of gold? <br />
'''Barney:''' Suits. <br />
'''Ted:''' What would you say if you gave your suits away and in return you'd never grow old? <br />
'''Barney:''' Suits. <br />
'''Robin:''' What would you pick, one million chicks, or a single three piece suit? <br />
'''Barney:''' It's moot. <br />
'''Lily:''' What if world peace were within your reach and-- <br />
'''Barney:''' I'm going to stop you right there. It's suits. C'mon Lily, get your head out of your ass. }}
** Barney claims that not wearing suits would be easy. Robin protests, saying that he's never ''not'' in a suit. Then we're given a picture of him from summer 2009 jet skiing while wearing a suit.
* Barney's phonecall to Ted while he's holding all his stuff hostage in "Moving Day":
{{quote| '''Barney:''' This ''isn't'' Barney... [[But He Sounds Handsome|but I hear that guy's awesome.]]}}
** While we're at it, Ted's call back to Barney.
{{quote| '''Barney:''' Ted, this ''isn't'' funny dude.<br />
'''Ted:''' [[Ironic Echo|This isn't Ted... but I hear that guy's awesome.]] }}
* Barney running into the Chinese gamblers in Atlantic City. Particularly their attempts at his catchphrases.
*
{{quote| '''USA! USA! USA!'''<br />
'''CANADA! CANADA! CANADA!'''<br />
'''SHRIMP FRIED RICE! SHRIMP FRIED RICE! SHRIMP FRIED RICE!'''<br />
'''Ted:''' Shrimp fried rice! Totally! }}
 
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* The scuba diver. Just the scuba diver.
* The montage of Barney trying to pick up girls with pick-up lines that make him sound like a little boy.
{{quote| '''Barney:''' Do you wanna wrestle with our special bathing suit places?}}
* ''ALL'' of "Glitter". The porn trope-infested "Space Teens", Jessica as the NY Rangers' organist, and especially "The Beaver Song". Spit-out-your-drink funny.
{{quote| '''Barney:''' ''Space Teens''?! '''IS THIS A PORNO?!''' (''prepares to slap Marshall'')}}
** Not to mention that Marshall is recoiling in anticipation; even he was convinced.
* "Benefits" has Barney's escalating "Awesome..." sequence. And the bit when {{spoiler|the axe or whatever comes in through the wall of Marshall's bathroom.}}
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** I found that more of an Awesome moment.
* "Three Days of Snow" has a couple - Ted and Barney's bar montage to "Kokomo"; Lily and Rajit with the beer; Marshall's [[Double Entendre]]-fest while on the phone - but the most hilarious of all has to be "BINGO!"
* The [https://web.archive.org/web/20190812003811/http://tedmosbyisajerk.com/ Ted Mosby Is A Jerk] song, but especially this:
{{quote| "I know the truth about you, Ted Mosby. You look, and act, and talk like a real human being, but I know what you really are. You're a ''Cylon''. And your only goal is total annihilation of the entire human race. I talked to my best friend, Dr. Baltar, and he told me, so don't tell me that you love me. Don't tell me that you have feelings, you can't have feelings. You're a ''frakking toaster''!"}}
* Pretty much any moment one cares to pick from "The Naked Man", but the pose discussion stands out in particular.
* There are two in "Slapsgiving":
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* Barney's video resume, especially when he interviews himself and then sings the background song.
* "Bang, bang, a-bang-ity bang, I said-a bang-bang-bang, bangity bang..."
{{quote| '''Ted:''' Hey Marshall, what are you doing? <br />
'''Marshall:''' Oh, just singing a song about this chick Barney banged. <br />
'''Ted:''' Well put me down for a verse! }}
* At the end of the episode, Lily and Robin join in with them while Marshall pulls out a tiny banjo.
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* Ted bursting into song during "Of Course" and Barney's reactions to it.
* SVEN's fire-breathing T-Rex building.
{{quote| '''Sven''' "Press it. Press it for '''GLORY'''!"}}
* From season 6 "Baby Talk":
{{quote| '''Robin:''' In other news, later today a Manhattan architect gets punched in the throat. <br />
''[Cut to Ted holding his throat]'' }}
* Barney singing at a karaoke bar while holding a baby's sock.
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* Lunch Lady Scooter...[[Double Entendre|which Marshall thought that Lily was literally referring to a scooter for lunch ladies]]...[[Don't Explain the Joke|but Lily was referring to her high school boyfriend, Scooter]]
* From "The Stinsons":
{{quote| '''Barney:''' [[Shout -Out|Call me crazy, but child actors were way better]] [[Doogie Howser, M.D.|back in the 80s.]]}}
* This exchange from "The Wedding Bride":
{{quote| '''Ted:''' Royce! <br />
'''Movie!Tony:''' Stella! <br />
'''Royce:''' Ted? <br />
'''Movie!Stella:''' Tony! <br />
'''Movie!Ted:''' Tony?!? <br />
'''Barney:''' Ted? <br />
'''Ted:''' Barney? (Barney slurps his drink) }}
** And then:
{{quote| '''Barney:''' Kiss him! <br />
'''Future Ted:''' Kids... he didn't say "kiss". <br />
'''Barney:''' Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! <br />
'''Future Ted:''' Still not saying "kiss". }}
** Upon being thrown out by the usher:
{{quote| '''Barney:''' Who the kiss are you?}}
** Also, in the same episode, when Robin claims that it is possible to tell how overly-nice Marshall is by watching him walk down the street. We see him do so, saying hello to everyone, even in different languages, helping fix bikes and even fake-begrudgingly breakdancing ("Oh you guys I could ''not'' today it would just be--") with some teenagers, in which the body double is hilariously obvious.
* From {{spoiler|Legendaddy}}
{{quote| '''Barney:''' Look, {{spoiler|it's been 30 years,}} and now, you just show out of nowhere. This is... this is gonna take me a minute. <br />
'''{{spoiler|Barney's dad}}:''' Ah, I understand. By the way, hellava tie. Is that Italian silk? <br />
'''Barney:''' {{spoiler|I love you, daddy!}} I'm so glad we're best friends now! }}
* Three words: DRUNK BABY LILY.
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* The whole gang drunk.
* Ted's dream which motivated him to vote that the Arcadian be destroyed. Especially the end.
{{quote| '''Ted's mom:''' Mommy has magic lady bits Teddy.}}
** From the same episode, Ted and Barney wanting the buy a bar again, this time, Marshall and Robin agrees.
* Barney's [[David Letterman]] impression.
{{quote| ''And the #1 name I came up with for the moving van before Ted had been a jerk and taken it back, "The '69 Chevy!"''}}
* "Do I Know You?"
{{quote| '''Marshall:''' The only people who haven't seen ''[[Star Wars]]'' are the characters in ''Star Wars''! And that's 'cause they ''lived'' 'em, Ted! They ''lived'' the Star Wars!}}
* '''BARNEY'S FAVORITE THINGS!!!!!!'''
* The gang's reactions to different kinds of alcohol, especially absinthe.
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* [[Cavemen vs. Astronauts Debate|The gang's super long, super intense argument about which is better, rabbits or ducks.]]
* From "Sandcastles in the Sand", Robin's argument with Marshall and Lily being very reminiscent of a teenage girl arguing with her parents. Especially the bit at the end with Ted:
{{quote| '''Ted:''' ... So, today at work-- <br />
'''Marshall:''' NOT '''NOW''' TED!<br />
'''Lilly:''' Young lady have you been drinking? <br />
'''Robin:''' Yeah. We all have. You bought the last round. }}
* Barney's [[Leaning Onon the Fourth Wall]] moment in "False Positive" where he asks a girl to give the gift of booty.
* "Do you smell that? Smells like there's a bitch in my gym!"
* In the preview for season seven, Barney singing a part of Deee-Lite's Groove is in the Heart.
* In "Little Boys", the {{spoiler|tiny Barneys}} are hilarious, but even they pale before the {{spoiler|teeny tiny dancing Ted}} at the end of the episode.
* During the montage of interventions the group has given each other, one is for Marshall wearing a Dr. Seuss-esque tall, striped hat. Robin's contribution is delivered in Seuss style iambic tetrameter.
{{quote| "''Dear Marshall, I do not like that stupid hat, I want to beat it with a bat. Or maybe stab it with a fork; it makes you look like such a dork.''"}}
* "I am the provider of this house. And I have provided! 'Provode'? Provided!"
* The [[Noodle Incident]] in "The Naked Truth" - "BARNELL!!"
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** Don't forget the part where the kid asks his mom what "grinch" meant. Cue spit take.
* Patrice in "The Stinson Missile Crisis" when Barney is sending Nora flowers, balloons and chocolate. And when Barney sings to Nora, Robin's sudden outburst:
{{quote| '''Patrice:''' He's so dreamy! <br />
'''Robin: NOBODY ASKED YOU PATRICE!!''' }}
* Sexytimes go very wrong.
{{quote| "Who's your daddy?"<br />
"[[The Ditz|Who's ''your'' daddy?]]"<br />
"[[Parental Abandonment|I DON'T]] [[Heroic BSOD|KNOW!]]" }}
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* Despite the overall [[Tear Jerker|sadness]] that is Symphony of Illumination, everyone's attempts to cheer Robin up in both her fantasy and real life are funny and sweet. Particularly Barney's failure at telling her jokes and then suddenly yelling "Pratfall!" and immediately falling over a seat of the booth.
* In second season, anything related to Hammond Druthers' 'tower.' Especially because almost every time it's referenced they use euphemisms, and the actual tower is always covered up, even when the businessmen arrive to see it, and his face falls, followed by an extremely deadpan.
{{quote| '''Businessman:''' {{spoiler|That's a penis!}}}}
-- ''Later''
{{quote| '''Businessman:''' I'm not building a {{spoiler|penis.}}}}
* Barney's friend "Insane" Dwayne got a girl (whom he would eventually marry) to go home with him using only one word, "Boner".
* Disaster Averted is one of the funniest episodes they have ever done. Barney trying to {{spoiler|get out of wearing the ducky-tie}}, Marshall's fear that whenever he goes anywhere he will be {{spoiler|mauled by a [[Everything's Worse Withwith Bears|bear]].}} The random French interlude...
* Barney catches feelings.
{{quote| '''Barney:''' "I close my eyes, I think about Robin! I hear a song, it reminds me of Robin!"<br />
'''Random hook-up walking out of the bedroom:''' "Good morning!"<br />
'''Barney:''' "I'm banging that chick, I'm thinking about Robin!" }}
* How I Met Your {{spoiler|Barney}}.
** What about [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCYqpdKGf00 How I Met Your Mother, Russian version?]
* Drunk!Ted playing poker with Stripper Lily and New Marshall's buddies. Actually, pretty much every millisecond of Drunk!Ted in "46 Minutes" is a CMOF.
{{quote| '''Ted:''' "I was totally bluffing - I don't even have enough cards!"}}
** ''"[[Blatant Lies|It is party for New York Yankees and Coca Cola]]"''.
** "We built chip city! We built chip city on all your dough!"
** These thoughts occur as Robin, Barney and Ted decide what to do during the night
{{quote| '''New Marshall:''' I wonder why Dr. Kevin doesn't recognize me from all those sessions three years ago?<br />
'''Kevin:''' Is that the guy who stabbed all those prison guards? }}
* Barney's film about trying to convince Marshall and Lily to find out the sex of their baby was written and produced by him and directed by ''McG''.
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** Robin hysterically screaming at [[Ascended Extra|Patrice]], her [[Sitcom Arch Nemesis|arch-enemy]] from work.
** When Lily has to leave Barney alone at her house and warns him to stay out of trouble, Future!Ted plays the scene from both Lily and Barney's points of view:
{{quote| '''Lily's POV:''' "While I'm gone, don't go snooping around in our stuff. I know you think we have a sex tape hidden somewhere, so I'll save you the trouble: we don't. Goodbye."<br />
'''Barney's POV:''' *in which everything in his line of sight is fogged out except for Lily's breasts* "Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-'''we have a sex tape hidden somewhere'''-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa!"<br />
'''Barney:''' Challenge accepted! }}
** Also, Lily and Marshall's attempts to respectively persuade and dissuade Barney from watching their sex tape.
{{quote| [[Fetish Fuel|"I slap my own ass!"]]<br />
[[Fetish Retardant|"I slap ''my'' own ass!"]] }}
* The baffling [[Noodle Incident]] from "The Mermaid Theory", which features Ted randomly bursting into the bar wearing a gauzy green dress and informing Barney "Okay, ''now'' we're even!". Given that it was a flashforward in which Lily was heavily pregnant, it ought to be explained in the show any week now.
** Now explained, and just as hilarious in context as out of it.
* The [[Lampshade Hanging]] at the end of "The Broath." Especially considering [[Generation Xerox|who]] he's talking to.
{{quote| '''Ted:''' Well, that's the entire story of me and Robin, 2005 to the present. What do you think?<br />
'''Ned:''' I think your stories are way too long dude.<br />
'''Martin:''' I feel bad for your future kids. }}
 
** Also the Gregorian chants: "Brooo, Broooooo, Bro-o-o-o-o"
* In "Bagpipes", Marshall's obsession with musical photo montages. It starts with Chinese food, then cat-sitting for Lily's mom, then:
{{quote| Cat funeral, cat funeral.<br />
It was an accident, and not entirely my fault.<br />
Meow, meow, meow, meow, Cat funeral, Cat funeral }}
* Barney & Robin teasing Marshall & Lily about the sex of their baby.
{{quote| '''Barney''': Twins! [[Twins (Film)|Is the top grossing film of 1988]]. }}
* Ted, in a desperate attempt to not think about Robin, goes on a date with a girl. When the girl claims her ex, Wayne, had no manners, Ted immediately links it to [[Batman|Wayne Manor]], [[Don't Explain the Joke|which in inevitably linked to Batman and Robin.]]
 
{{reflist}}
 
[[Category:Live Action TV/Funny]]
[[Category:How I Met Your Mother]]
[[Category:Funny]]
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