I'm a Man, I Can't Help It: Difference between revisions

The logical extremity of [[A Man Is Not a Virgin]], and the masculine equivalent of the [[The Unfair Sex]]. This trope features a man caught in a sexually compromising situation. If he is unmarried, not seeing anyone, or involved with a partner who, at the moment, is either unwilling or unable to grant him sexual satisfaction, he can provide the following excuse:

 

 

 

 

Very much [[Newer Than They Think]]. In ancient times (Rome, Greece, [[The Bible]]) being lecherous was considered a [[Values Dissonance|distinctively female]] characteristic; [[All Women Are Lustful]] in those settings. For a man to be described as a slave to his urges was a major insult to his masculinity.

 

 

 

== Anime & Manga ==

* This is Akira's reason for being so sexually aggressive toward his girlfriend in ''[[Ai Ore Love Me]]''.

 

== Comic Books ==

* A male character in ''[[Shade the Changing Man]]'' claims if he doesn't have lots of sex his jaw will go out of whack.

 

 

== Film ==

** But the reason the wife doesn't have sex with him is because she thinks it will help her get a married man

* In ''[[The Women]]'' one of the main characters mother tells her that her father had a mistress but she stayed with him anyway and seems to blame the other woman more referring to her as a whore

** Rae's constant need for sex was due to her trauma from being raped rather than a love of sex

*** If you like to know when people stop thinking this? It's the late 1800's

*** The shift occurred very, very gradually, and not uniformly, depending on region and intellectual strata. From being consequences from protevolutionary theories in the early 1800s in the young intellectual elite to being entrenched as the mainstream gender roles in the mid 20th century, that's a 150 year span. For example Sigmund Freud: His Ur-Horde-theory is generally viewed as the prototype for the evolutionary psychological reasoning of the newer 'men are lecherous, women are virtuous' stereotype. However Freud himself was raised conservatively in the 1850ies and unlike many of his intellectual contemporaries in the 1920ies, believed women to be just as lecherous as men. Female circumcision in the US became popular in the late 1870ies as a cure for the bane of masturbation, and was only deemed completely unnecessary for women as late as the 1920 to 1940s (women wouldn't have sexual desires anyways). It took as long as the 1950ies when Kinsey challenged the by now deeply ingrained gender stereotypes with his empirical findings that, well, women * are* just as lecherous as men.

* The boys of [[Blue Collar Comedy]] fame make note of this from time to time:

** Ron White stated this, though he went on to admit after-the-fact feelings of deep guilt and owned up to his infidelity, so might mix in just a smidge of [[The Unfair Sex]].

** Bill Engvall has stated, "Sorry, I'm just a guy!" in his act as an excuse for all sorts of situations.

*** Surprisingly few of these involve sex-he uses it as an excuse for everything from insensitive remarks to crowning achievements in stupidity (actually, come to think of it, 90% of his "I'm just a guy" jokes fit under this), but from Bill, sex usually gets more than just a clever catchphrase.

* Although the character of Eddie in ''Something To Talk About'' is blamed for his cheating he says it is partly his wife's fault for not being interested in sex anymore and she eventually agrees with him

* In ''Mirror Images 2'' a man seduced by the woman he believes is his wifes employes wife - its actually her twin posing as her to frame her for adultery - blames the woman calling her a slut and everyone seems to agree with him despite the fact he was a consenting adult who participated enthusiastically in the sex

** There was a similar soft porn film where the con artist girlfriend of the main character seduces his business partner to rip him off as well and the business partners blames her saying she seduced him and he gets a free pass from his partner and wife.

* Averted in [[Dragnet]] (the 1987 movie version.) Friday is depicted as incredibly uptight and when a woman hits on him, he turns her down.

'''Pep Streebeck''': You've got a lot of repressed feelings, don't you, Friday? Must be what keeps your hair up. }}

 

 

== Literature ==

** One example where this is made pretty explicit is a scene in ''Crewel Lye'' in which a male character and a female one switch bodies. The former woman is overcome by hormones and can't resist planting a kiss on her old body. She concludes that men just can't help their pigish instincts, and gains new respect for the male character when she realizes how restrained he has been.

* [[Incarnations of Immortality]]: when a pair of female characters are turned male, they are barely restrained from ''raping the first woman they see''. They, too, come to the conclusion that all the men they've ever known had almost superhuman levels of self-control for keeping that urge in check. Um, yeah.

** Really, similar situations come up a lot in Piers Anthony's work - that a man's default mental setting is "RAPE" and only the most noble can resist those urges for reasons other than "fear of getting caught."

 

 

* In ''[[Big Love]]'', at one point Sarah discovers a flirtatious message from an ex-girlfriend on her boyfriend Scott's phone. She jokingly says it sounds like they hooked up, which he confirms. When she gets upset, he uses this as an excuse (Sarah and Scott are not sexually active at this point). Here, the claim is treated as completely legitimate. Bear in mind, by the way, that ''they're both <s> [[Tenchi Solution|Mormons]]</s> the Hollywood conception of Mormons''.

** First of all, he was not a Mormon, IIRC, he was a Baptist (heresy!). And it was NEVER considered OK by the show - Sarah was devastated by the incident, and Scott was made out to be a complete douche for it. Their entire relationship was never treated as healthy - it was treated as Sarah running away from home in a socially acceptable fashion just to get away from the walking traumatizer that was Bill Henrickson.

** Will's reaction when the daughter got angry at him wasn't "she forced me" it was "have you seen your mom naked" which is hardly the response of a rape victim.

* In [[Desperate Housewives]] Brie, Lynette, Gabrielle, and Edie have a conversation where they all agree that when a man cheats on his wife the other woman is to blame, calling the woman a "man-eating scum-sucking ho-bag" and a "homewrecker" and saying "if these tramps weren't laying out the buffet they wouldn't be chowing down."

* Frank Gallagher in ''[[Shameless]]'' tries to blame the other woman for his infidelity.

* In ''Footballers Wives'' several characters use the "men can't help it" argument. Tanya Turner blames her husbands mistress saying that men only cheat because of the sexual availability of football groupies like her. The character Ian Walmsley also tries to excuse himself for having a threesome despite having a wife and children by saying the women were all over him.

'''Crichton (in Aeryn's body)''': No, I'm a guy. A guy... guys dream about this sort of thing. }}

** Inverted at the end of the episode, when it is strongly suggested that Aeryn also took some liberties when ''she'' was stuck in ''Crichton'''s body.

'''Crichton''': *grins and darts after her* }}

** He also uses this as an excuse as part of his pleading with her when they were afflicted and Chiana, her libido cranked up to about 302, tried to jump his bones only for Aeryn to walk in.

* According to Turk in ''[[Scrubs]]'', responding to J.D's irrational hookup, if a man hasn't had sex in a certain amount of time, he's not accountable for who he sleeps with.

* [[Inverted]] in one episode of ''[[Hannah Montana]]'', with this explanation as to why Hannah did not want to bring her overprotective bodyguard with her on dates:

** Wait, ''[[Getting Crap Past the Radar|Hannah Montana]]''!?

*** [[Blatant Lies|...She's a girl who has knees. Now move along, nothing to see here]].

** To be fair, she was talking about kissing, not sex... at least, Disney would have you believe that.

* Puck on ''[[Glee]]'', who is kind of a jerk.

'''Puck''': No! Just the hot girls. Look, I'm gonna be a good dad, but I'm not gonna stop being me to do it. }}

* In [[Home and Away]] the character Noah is forgiven very quickly by his brother for having sex with his girlfriend and another character comments that it "would have been really hard to say no". The girlfriend even says it was her fault not his.

* Chuck Bass on ''[[Gossip Girl]]'' pretty much uses this as his excuse when he beds everything with a pulse to keep himself from feeling the hurt of Blair leaving him.

* ''[[Coupling]]'' In the episode, "The Girl With Two Breasts", Jeff is asked out by his hot coworker, Wilma, and since, he's not the best at speaking, he wears a wire so the other members of the group can listen in and give him advice. Wilma propositions him for sex which Jeff is resistant to, since he's dating his boss, Julia. However, Wilma says she's also seeing someone and is just looking for some fun on the side, asking, "How can you say no to a night of unconditional sex?". Susan is furious when she hears this and demands that Steve tell Jeff the reason he can say no, but Steve is unable to think up a reason, eventually blurting out, "[[Crowning Moment of Funny|Jeff, don't. It might be a trick]].", leaving Susan quite angry with him.

* [[Mad Men]] plays with this trope. Men are blamed for not resisting their urges, and women are blamed for luring men to fall prey to their urges. But the show itself demonstrates that everyone has these desires and people are complex and flawed.

* Discussed in [[Misfits]], where Nathan claims that "The siren call of a blow job renders all men powerless."

 

== Music ==

** This excuse is mostly not used to for sex, but rather on being uncivilized.

* Devo's "Triumph of the Will" uncovers the [[All Men Are Rapists|implications]] of this trope:

It takes a triumph of the will! }}

 

 

== Theatre ==

* In ''Love's Labor Lost'', the king of Navarre decides to study with three scholars for three years, and makes them swear an oath that they'll stay away from women during the interim, not even go near them or speak to them. He also forbids women from coming near the palace where they're staying. Biron, one of the scholars, points out that they're breaking the oath by letting a Princess visit there, since she has no place else to stay, and must come "on mere necessity":

I am forsworn on 'mere necessity.' }}

 

== [[Video Games]] ==

* While not exactly an ''explicit'' situation, one cutscene from ''[[Persona 3]]'' where Junpei comments about offering as-yet-unseen new teammate Fuuka Yamagishi "private lessons" invokes this trope after Yukari displays disgust at the notion:

* ''[[The Elder Scrolls]] IV'' ''[[Oblivion]]'' This comes up in the quest, "The Siren's Deception". The player has to track down a gang of female thieves who use this trope and lure men out to remote locations, promising them sex, and then rob them. Additionally, part of the quest requires you to get information from Gogan, their latest victim, who's married. He uses this as his excuse.

 

** And indeed, Rayne says what unmanly losers his friends are for being able to help it. And from the way the comic portrays events, he's supposed to be ''right''.

*** He's meant to be a charismatic and entertaining protagonist. Whether he's ''right'' is another matter...

* A non-sexual version in ''[[Exterminatus Now]]'':

'''Eastwood''': "We just saw a really big explosion while riding in a flashy, high-performance aircraft- If you got your boobs out, we could all die happy right now." }}

 

 

== Web Originals ==

 

 

== Real Life ==

* The whole idea behind women wearing veils as often practised in Islamic countries.

 

[[Category:Gender and Sexuality Tropes]]

[[Category:Double Standard]]