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I Would Say If I Could Say: Difference between revisions
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This is a kind of wordplay joke you find characters using, on [[Self-Deprecation|themselves]] or others, about how a common expression is very appropriate to the situation at hand... [[Distracting Disambiguation|but not for them]], since they can no longer use it without it [[Dissimile|being technically incorrect]] or highly [[Irony|ironic.]] Another way to do this is to "fix" the expression so that it works unironically, which changes the expression into a [[Not Himself|suspiciously off]] statement for those who have no clue about the character.
For example:
* An [[The Undead|undead]] could say "The city at night is so beautiful it takes my breath away... if I still breathed, anyway."
* Or an atheist might exclaim "[[My God, What Have I Done?|Oh your God,]] [[What the Hell, Hero?|what have you done?!]]"
* Going with a bit of dark humor: "This is an outrage; I won't stand for this! [[Beat|...]] And not just [[Sorry, Billy, But You Just Don't Have Legs|because I'm in a wheelchair."]]
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== [[Comic Books]] ==
* Two examples in ''[[Doom Patrol]]'' from early November 2009:
** In the main story, the [[Zombie Apocalypse|Black Lantern]], Negative Woman says, "I can't for the life of me understand why. Ah, perhaps 'life' was not the best choice of word."
** In the ''[[Metal Men]]'' backup strip, Doc Magnus says, "My God (Metaphorically speaking. I don't actually believe in the existence of a supreme being)! What happened here?"
== [[Film]] ==
* In the [[Cut Song]] "The Jitterbug" from ''[[The Wizard of Oz (film)|The Wizard of Oz]]'', the Scarecrow says, "I haven't got a brain, but I think I ought to worry."
* In ''[[Return to Oz]]'', the flying Gump says as they fall to their [[Doomy Dooms of Doom|Doom]][[
* In ''[[Friday the 13th (film)]]'', the android Kay-Emm gets her head knocked off by Jason during the climactic battle. After Jason is killed at the end, Kay-Emm's disembodied head is being carried by one of the other surviving heroes, and she states, "I'd clap, if I could."
* A variant in ''[[Igor]]'', where Scamper, a reanimated rabbit with an extreme [[Healing Factor]]; and Brain, exactly what the name implies; are trying to dismantle a doomsday device. Failing, Brain panics and exclaims, "We're all gonna die! Except you!"
* In the second ''[[The Matrix|Matrix]]'' movie, Agent Smith describes himself as "A new man, so to speak."
* In ''A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum'', Zero Mostel's character (a slave) says "This will make my father turn over in his grave". His young master tells him that his father is still alive. Mostel replies "Yeah, but this'll kill him!"
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== [[Literature]] ==
* From ''[[Legends of Laconia|Halloween Romance]]'': "I defy any human being to fail to learn slow dancing. ''Then again, I'm technically not a human being anymore.''"
* In the ''[[Dresden Files]]'' novel "Ghost Story", Harry, currently a ghost, uses the undead version: "Centuries from now, who knows? Maybe magic will have the side effect of making you really good-looking and popular with the opposite sex - but I'm not holding my breath. I mean, you know. I wouldn't be. If I still had any."
* In the ''[[Discworld]]'', [[Talking Animal|Gaspode The Wonder Dog]] is fond of mutating the expression "pull the other one, it's got bells on" to "pull ''one of the others'', it's got bells on", since being a dog he has four legs. This almost gets him caught when he has to pass for human at one point.
* Mack narrates, in ''[[The Automatic Detective]]'': despite his vow to keep his nose clean, "which should have been easy, since I didn't have a nose", he heard something break in the apartment and had to investigate.
* In [[Simon R. Green]]'s ''[[Nightside]]'' novels, it's not uncommon for entities without bodies, like animated doors, talking wishing wells, or sentient computers, to bitch about how a confusing situation or [[Logic Bomb]] is giving them a headache, in defiance of the fact they don't ''have'' heads.
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== Web ==
* And, on [[This Very Wiki]], mod [[User:Madrugada]]'s forum signature sometimes is, "If I had a piece of chalk, I'd work it out on a wall, if I had a wall." She took it from the third book n P.C.Hodgell's ''[[Chronicles of the Kencyrath]]'' series, ''Seeker's Mask''. The context is Jame, the heroine trying to sort out how she's related to another character, in a culture that places a great deal of importance on blood relationships.
== Webcomics ==
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