Internet Backdraft/Literature: Difference between revisions

** And whatever you do, don't bring up the ITV specials. Especially "Mansfield Park".

** It's also prudent not to state strong opinions about Marianne Dashwood, particularly if you have thoughts on whether she should have ended up with Willoughby or Colonel Brandon.

** If such a discussion ''does'' start, you can try to defuse it by changing the question about the Balrog to [http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/theories/slippers.htm if it had fluffy slippers], as it [[Narm|fully did in Bakshi's animated version]].

** Even people who agree about Balrog wings or the lack thereof can sometimes find themselves at each other's throats over the issue of whether or not Balrogs can fly.

* The flame wars over the merits of the works of [[Robert A. Heinlein]] have been raging since before the World Wide Web was invented.

** Severus Snape: [[The Woobie|poor bullied]] [[Tragic Hero]] with a [[Hidden Heart of Gold]], or [[Fantastic Racism|racist]] [[Schoolyard Bully All Grown Up|child-abusing]] [[Jerkass]] with a completely [[Misaimed Fandom]]? Have fun with that. Note that there is still wanking several years after the series finished.

** Say how much Harry Potter sucks to Twilight. You'll get 3rd degree burns.

*** Bonus points for using "the Dursleys," "Severus Snape" and "Tom Riddle" all in one sentence.

** Never, ever EVER '''''EVER''''' say Neville Longbottom or Luna Lovegood are anything less than uberamazingawesome. God help you if you outright don't like them.

** There's a whole artform of not saying either "Philosopher's Stone" or "Sorcerer's Stone" because they'll both start [[Flame War|Flame Wars]] full of [[Misplaced Nationalism]]. The first installment of the series must always be referred to as "the first book" or "the first movie". If it's already well-established that you're talking about ''Harry Potter'' installments, it can be innocently abbreviated as "''Stone''". If you have to refer to the object, say "the stone of the title" or "the titular stone". It's the only way, my friend.

** Say almost anything from [http://www.youtube.ng/watch?v=OFo2B-uBClg this video].

* ''[[A Song of Ice and Fire]]'': "Hey, what's Martin's deal? It's been years since ''A Feast for Crows''. When is he going to write this book? Is he lazy? Does he hate fans?" Oh, the flames. The flames.

** Also, expressing any strong opinion regarding Catelyn Stark is generally like to spark a flame war between those who see her as a truly tragic [[The Woobie|woobie]] and those who think she is a self-pitying moron.

** Among fans, any character interpretation, any ship, any scene, ANY DETAIL. There will be a strong enough anti-anything faction to start a good-sized war. Most common: Edward's abusive, Jacob's forced kiss was in no way sexual harrassment, Bella's the most anti-feminist character ever... and you can't mention [[Breaking Dawn]] in any capacity without starting some shit.

** A funner and simpler way is to just say that Twilight sucks, plain and simple. Especially on any site like [[Gaia Online|gaia.]]

** Edward or Jacob?

* Anywhere on the Internet, make a topic about [[Ayn Rand]]. Positive or negative. Doesn't matter. The sheer volume of [[Fan Dumb]] and [[Hate Dumb]] guarantees a nice flamewar.

* Mention the ''[[Gor]]'' series...well...''anywhere''. Bring popcorn.

* In-universe example: in the short story [http://www.tor.com/stories/2011/08/wikihistory "Wikihistory"], by Desmond Warzel, time-traveler forum poster "SaucyAussie" seems concerned that discussion of certain sensitive historical events carries the risk of [[Internet Backdraft]]:

AsianAvenger, you're not rehashing that whole Nagasaki issue again, are you? We just got everyone calmed down from last time. }}

* Similar to the Theater example, go ahead and bring up Gelphie or Fiyerba in any [[The Wicked Years|Wicked]] forum. For the most part the fandom is fairly polite about it's shipping (and both of them are technically [[Word of Gay|canon]]) but brought up in the wrong space it can get...ugly.

* [[James Joyce]], or any author known for [[True Art Is Incomprehensible|"experimental"]] literature, including [[Thomas Pynchon]] and [[David Foster Wallace]].

* Treat yourself to a crate of wine/beer/other drink of choice. Make sure you have plenty of food to hand, preferably ready-cooked. Then go to a [[His Dark Materials]] forum and suggest that Will and Lyra actually had sex (or didn't). Watch the fun run and run!

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[[Category:Internet Backdraft]]