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Line 10:
* Samantha tasering Chris ''[[Groin Attack|in the groin]].''
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7qrSnRO3Tw This moment].
{{quote| '''Samantha''': (keeps calling Chris's name)<br />
'''Chris''': (finally had enough) "I'M BUSY!" (all the people at the bar look at Chris)<br />
'''Samantha''': "''I'm'' busy! Stupid dick!" (all the people at the bar look at Samantha) }}
* The following:
{{quote| '''Chris''': You have her (Samantha's) poster on your wall?<br />
'''Mike''': Yeah. I [[A Date with Rosie Palms|slapped the ham to it]], like, an hour ago.<br />
'''Mom''': Mike? What ham did you slap? Not the ham I just bought? }}
Line 21:
* Fat!Chris saying [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VPd-fy00rI&feature=related Oh my God!] upon finding out that [[Jerk Jock|Tim]] has his year book with a message in it for Jamie.
* The following:
{{quote| '''Mike:''' [Samantha has found out that Chris is seeing someone else] The jig is up! Run! <br />
'''Samantha James:''' You son of a bitch! <br />
'''Chris:''' Samantha! You're here! Shit! <br />
'''Samantha James:''' There she is. There's the little slut you've been banging behind my back! <br />
'''Old Woman:''' Me? <br />
'''Samantha James:''' Not you, wrinkles. <br />
[Points at Jamie] <br />
'''Samantha James:''' Her! <br />
'''Jamie Palamino:''' Who are you? <br />
'''Samantha James:''' I'm Samantha James, bitch! <br />
[Shoves Jamie] <br />
'''Jamie Palamino:''' Don't shove me! <br />
[Shoves Samantha back] <br />
'''Samantha James:''' You're a whore! Santa's little whore! Santa's little whore! <br />
'''Jamie Palamino:''' Get off! <br />
'''Mike:''' [In an excited, high pitched voice] Cat fight! }}
* The following:
{{quote| '''Chris' Mom:''' Dusty, what kind of car is this? <br />
'''Dusty:''' Carol, this little Japanese princess here is called the Prius. <br />
'''Chris' Mom:''' I think it's so neat that you kids care about the environment. <br />
'''Chris:''' I love the environment. <br />
'''Chris' Mom:''' But honey, don't you drive a Range Rover? Aren't those bad? <br />
'''Chris:''' [pause] Well, I had a really nice time tonight, and I hope we can do it again soon. Hey, Dusty, thanks for comin'. <br />
'''Dusty:''' Oh, listen, man, it was my pleasure, really. Thank you all for having me. It was so nice. <br />
[Chris takes out his retainer] <br />
'''Dusty:''' And hey, before I forget, make sure to that you rinse that thing at least twice a day, okay? Your mouth is a disgusting open cesspool with germs and bacteria. Now put that back! }}
* '''Mike:''' "Raise your hand if your brother's a homo!" *raises hand*
Line 53:
* '''Jamie Palamino:''' "Aww. "Shakes come and go but friends are furrr-ever." That's adorable! Let's go show my mom."
* This little gem:
{{quote| '''Samantha James:''' [hiding under huge earmuffs ,saying hi... hi... hi... hi... ] Chris, let's get it to go people are staring at me. <br />
[Not one person in the restaurant is looking at her] }}
* The following:
{{quote| '''Samantha James:''' I love it that you're taking me home to meet your mom. Was this one of your clever little plans? <br />
'''Chris:''' (sarcastically) Yes. I planned you setting the plane on ''fire''. }}
* And this:
{{quote| '''Samantha James:''' God, I wanna lick your skin off! <br />
'''Chris:''' I'd prefer you didn't. }}
* '''Mike:''' Dude I think she (Jamie) left you hanging.
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