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{{trope}}
{{quote|'''Scott''': ''This band sucks.''
'''Monique''': ''That's what they'll be saying about ''you'' on Sunday.''
'''Scott''': ''At least I... wait... something... you... insult...''|''[[Scott Pilgrim
In a situation where the usual tropes call for a clever rejoinder, sometimes the absence of one can have the same effect (as far as the audience is concerned).
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Related to [[Comeback Tomorrow]], except here there is no comeback.
Also see [[Dissimile]], [[Metaphorgotten]] and [[Buffy
[[Truth in Television]], you know who you are.
{{examples
== [[Comic Books]] ==
* ''[[
{{quote|
** Later:
{{quote|
'''Monique:''' That's what they'll be saying about you on Sunday.
'''Scott:''' At least I... wait... something... you... insult...
'''Ramona:''' Scott, that was not a good comeback.
'''Stephen Stills:''' That was actually not bad for Scott. }}
** Even later:
{{quote|
'''Wallace:''' Better comebacks, Scott! }}
** This also happens to some of the Evil Exes, like Matthew Patel in the first volume...
{{quote|
'''Matthew:''' [[Your Mom]] is an embarrassing story! }}
** ...and Todd Ingram in the third volume:
{{quote|
'''Todd:''' Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
'''Scott:''' ... Huh?
'''Todd:''' Because you'll be dust by then.
'''Scott:''' ...?
'''Todd:''' [[Don't Explain the Joke|Because I'm going to pulverize you sometime this weekend.]] And the cleaning lady, she... cleans dust. She dusts. And she has weekends off, so Monday...
'''Envy:''' What the hell are you talking about? }}
== [[Film]] ==
* ''[[Singin' in
* ''[[
{{quote|
'''The Dude''': Yeah, well, you know, that's just like... uh... your opinion man. }}
* In ''[[Tommy Boy]]'', after Tommy sets a bag of M&M's on the dashboard and they pour into an open slot:
{{quote|
'''Tommy''': I think you'll be okay here, they have a thin candy shell. 'Surprised you didn't know that.
'''Richard Hayden''': I think your brain has a thick candy shell.
'''Tommy''': Your... Your brain has the shell on it.
'''Richard Hayden''': Are you talking?
'''Tommy''': Shut up, Richard. }}
* In ''[[Funny People]]'', George is verbally abusing Ira {{spoiler|after Ira has [[Nice Job Breaking It, Hero|inadvertently]] destroyed George's admittedly slim chances of getting back together with '[[The One That Got Away]]'}}.
* From ''[[
{{quote|
'''Jayne''': [[Rhetorical Question Blunder|Yes!]]
'''Mal''': Well... you can't! }}
* In ''[[
** He quickly develops his own successful brand of insults, though. His opponent, Rufio, is eventually reduced to calling him "You stupid... you stupid ''man''!"
* ''Hercules Returns'' - Urses mocks Samson, trying to provoke him into a fight to see whether or not he's faking the loss of his strength. Samson's response?
{{quote|
* Brick Tamland, from ''[[Anchorman]]'', has a few of these.
{{quote|
* ''[[Napoleon Dynamite]]'' has tons of this.
{{quote|
** And the original statement wasn't even directed at him. Or ''even an insult.''
* In ''[[Shallow Hal]]'', after Jason Alexander brags that he is "bigger", Hal takes about 8 seconds to respond "Yeah, bigger than a mouse's". Jason calls him out on taking too long; that's why it's called a "quip", not a "slowp".
* In ''[[Harold
{{quote|
'''Co-Worker''': Cock-boy?
'''Harold''': Yeah, cock-boy. You're just stalling for time because you're not quick enough to come up with a comeback.
'''Co-Worker''': You don't think I'm quick enough - he doesn't think I'm quick enough. Well I got news for you! I AM quick enough... Cock-Boy! }}
* ''Manta, Manta'' from Germany. The main character [[German Humor|who drives an Opel Manta]] and becomes the [[Butt Monkey]] of a radio moderator who tells Manta jokes [[Running Gag|all the time]]. Finally, he gets revenge when he breaks in at the radio station and has the opportunity to say his opinion on the radio.
{{quote|
== [[Literature]] ==
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== [[Live Action TV]] ==
* ''[[
{{quote|
'''Blackadder''': Better a "lapdog to a slip of a girl" than a... ''git''!
'''Captain Rum''': So you ''do'' have some spunk in you! }}
** In ''[[
{{quote|
* From ''[[Friends]]'', when Chandler is in a fight with his girlfriend:
{{quote|
'''Chandler''': Well don't expect that to happen anytime soon! }}
** Chandler, despite being known for his sense of humor, has a lot of these:
{{quote|
'''Chandler:''' Hey, well, I've been preparing for that my entire life! ...Or something about ''you'' that's mean! }}
* In the ''[[That '70s Show]]'' episode "Eric's Depression" Eric and Donna have a shouting match (it was shortly after their breakup) in which Donna calls Eric a dillhole. Eric's response is to call her a "double dillhole". As soon as Donna leaves he berates himself for saying something that stupid.
** In the episode "Eric's Hot Cousin":
{{quote|
'''Donna:''' Little Red Riding... Bitch! }}
** In the same episode:
{{quote|
'''Eric:''' Yeah well, at least my shame won't... peel. }}
* From ''[[Supernatural (TV series)|Supernatural]]''
{{quote|
'''Dean''': You're the shortbus... shortbus. }}
* ''[[The Larry Sanders Show]]'': Hank is guest-hosting the show and [[Drunk
{{quote|
'''Phil''': No.
'''Hank''':... Well watch it. }}
* ''[[
{{quote|
'''Sue''': [''whispering to herself''] That doesn't make any sense... }}
* ''[[The West Wing]]'' has this a couple times, one when Sam meets Mallory after she dumped him following his whole 'being-photographed-with-a-callgirl' scandal:
{{quote|
'''Mallory''': It was a picture of you and a ''callgirl''.
'''Sam''': Oh, like there aren't any pictures of ''you'' and a callgirl.
'''Mallory''': No. There aren't any pictures of me and a callgirl.
'''Sam''': ... [[Girl
* Also on ''[[The West Wing]]'':
{{quote|
'''Donna''': You're the reason there are term limits.
'''Josh''': Yeah? You're the reason... Nothing. Nothing's happening. Nothing's there. }}
* ''[[Spaced]]'', when Tim and Daisy are arguing about Tim's desire to get back with his unfaithful, selfish and manipulative ex-girlfriend, who has made overtures to him:
{{quote|
'''Daisy''': I ''do'' want to go to Asia! I ''do'' want to see the Taj Mahal! The difference is, the Taj Mahal didn't sleep with its boss behind my back and break my heart!
'''Tim''': Yeah, well... it might if you go to Asia. }}
** Tim makes another lame comeback after claiming Daisy's dog, Colin, will eventually grow up to savage the man repairing the tumble dryer:
{{quote|
'''Tim''': "You will my friend, you will..." }}
* Lyle's inability to come up with a decent comeback is what drives his romantic interest in a recent episode of ''[[Kingdom]]''
* In ''[[
{{quote|
'''Sheldon:''' Oh yeah? Well... you wouldn't even be nominated! }}
* ''[[The Monkees]]'': Famous line by Micky (who often mixes up his words).
{{quote|
'''Micky''': ...You do and I'll be sorry! }}
* Requisite ''[[
** In "Out of Mind, Out of Sight" Cordelia is giving out chocolates to drum up votes to become May Queen.
{{quote|
'''Buffy:''' Well, I don't even like chocolates! ''(to herself)'' Okay, that was the lamest comeback of our times. }}
** And this one...
{{quote|
'''Willow''': Oh yeah? Well... so's your face! }}
** In "Superstar" reality is changed so Buffy is overshadowed by another superhero, affecting her confidence and therefore [[Deadpan Snarker]] skills.
{{quote|
'''Buffy:''' [[My Name Is Not Durwood|It's Buffy]], you big bleached...stupid guy. }}
* The plot of an episode of ''[[
** In the episode, "The Dealership", Elaine criticizes Puddy (her boyfriend) for constantly giving the high-five to people:
{{quote|
'''Puddy''': What did I tell you about that?
'''Elaine''': I’m sorry, but the high-five is just so stupid.
'''Puddy''': Oh yeah? I’ll tell you what’s stupid. You. Stupid.
'''Elaine''': Well, that is really mature.
'''Puddy''': Yeah? So are you.
'''Elaine''': Huh?
'''Puddy''': You’re the grease monkey. }}
* From ''[[The Mighty Boosh]]'':
{{quote|
'''Howard''': ...
'''Bob Fossil''':... Nice comeback.
'''Howard''': (''after Fossil leaves'') Uh, yeah well... your uniform is too tight and you look stupid! }}
* From ''[[
{{quote|
'''Hurley''': Shut up, red... neck... man.
'''Sawyer''': ...Touche? }}
* In the ''[[Better Off Ted]]'' episode "The Impertence of Communicationizing", Phil laments his lack of ability to insult people:
{{quote|
* [[House (TV series)|House]] has a combination of this and [[Comeback Tomorrow]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN2pV8S63rw here].
* In ''[[
{{quote|
'''Freddie''': Sure thing, Sam... jerk. }}
* In the finale of ''[[Dollhouse]]'':
{{quote|
'''Paul''': You're...fat! }}
* In the ''[[
{{quote|
'''J.D.''': [thinking] Whatever. Just avoid the shoulder bump, catch the elevator, and make a great wise-ass remark before the doors close!
'''J.D.''': Hoohoo, hey, Dr. Cox, if you're so smart, maybe you should just... go ahead and be the... you're the kind of... [elevator door closes] Oh, dammit! }}
** In the episode "His Story IV":
{{quote|
'''The Janitor''': Really? ''(takes out a globe)'' Point to Iraq.
'''J.D.''': Why do you keep a globe on you janitor cart?
'''The Janitor''': In case I get lost. I'll give you a hint. It's not the country shaped like a boot.
'''J.D.''': ''(points to a country)'' That's Iraq.
'''The Janitor''': That's China.
'''J.D.''': You're China! ''(walks away)''
'''The Janitor''': ...That's an outrageous accusation. }}
** J.D. also claimed at one point to have a comeback for every situation. Unfortunately, this comeback was always "so's your face".
** Occurs twice ''in the same conversation'' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKxILa9qK8E&feature=related here.]
{{quote|
'''J.D.''': Well you're the number one jealous... w-weight, for the... jealous weight, jealous... ch-champ.
'''Dr. Cox''': '''HE'S DONE IT! HE'S DONE IT! DORIAN'S THE MOST! ANNOYING! MAN! IN THE WORLD!''' Who would have ever thought? A Journeyman annoyer like Dorian...
'''J.D.''': ''(As Dr Cox is leaving the room)'' You were a close second. }}
* In the ''[[
{{quote|
'''Cory:''' Oh yeah, well you're a short little nasal voiced blimpo lipped... so and so! ''(whispering)'' I need more time. }}
== [[Opera]] ==
* An embarrassing scene in the opera ''Le Grand Macabre'', by Gyorgy Ligeti, has the White and Black Ministers [[Volleying Insults|calling names at each other]]
{{quote|
'''Black''': I can't think of anything with J...''Kidnapper''!<ref>Further troper note: Judas? Jerk? Jackass?</ref> }}
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== [[Radio]] ==
* In ''Hello Cheeky'', John Junkin gets one of these to Barry Cryer.
{{quote|
'''Barry:''' Why change the habit of a lifetime?
'''John:''' I'll have you know, I'm taking repartée classes.
'''Barry:''' Alright, let's hear your witty repartée, then.
'''John:''' Uhh... ...shut up. ...I start classes tomorrow. }}
== [[Theater]] ==
* ''Keating: The Musical'' has [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5s8HYGANEU an epic one during Paul Keating and John Hewson's debate on the GST] (Keating's insults are based on actual comments in parliament:
{{quote|
It's like being flogged with warm lettuce
And cabbages, the feral abacus
Come to savage us, he must be ravenous, ravenous!
Mr. Mediocrity from the Bunyip Aristocracy
The Member for Wentworth should be in bed
He's like a lizard on a rock, alive but looking dead
Old Dozy knows when I've got him
He always turns around when I drop one on him
It's something he can't psychologically handle
Him and his band of constitutional vandals
Drones and pansies, frauds and mugs,
Blackguards, harlots, pigs and thugs,
And your mindless, stupid, foul-mouthed grubs,
You couldn't even raffle a chook in a pub.
Your barnyard bullies, crims and ghouls,
Dullards, dimwits, clowns and fools and born-to-rules,
Over here we're born to rule you
Your dishonest crew, you almost make me spew.
Loopy intellectual hobos,
Brain-damaged dummies and desperadoes,
Harebrained hillbilly cheats, cheats, cheats
(They'll always be cheats, cheats, cheats)
Useless motley corporate crooks and clots!
Stunned-mullet rustbucket boxheads!
Scumbags, and alley cats!
You wanna fight back? FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK FROM THAT!
'''Hewson''': Oh, you bloody... your mom's a... bitch! }}
* [[Shakespeare]] manages to make this one heartbreaking in ''[[King Lear]]'':
{{quote|
That all the world shall -- I will do such things --
What they are, yet I know not: but they shall be
The terrors of the earth. }}
== [[Video Games]] ==
* Master Chief in ''[[Halo (
{{quote|
'''Master Chief''': [[Your Mom]] had -3 kills in bed last night. }}
* Leon Scott Kennedy in ''[[Resident Evil]]''. One could pity [[Big Bad]] Saddler for being [[Affably Evil]] and having to laugh at those...
{{quote|
'''Leon:''' Saddler, you're small-time!
'''Saddler:''' Oh... hahahahahaha! Writhe in my cage of torment my friend. }}
* The MMORPG ''[[
* In ''[[
{{quote|
'''The Sniper''': ''I'' was never on ''your'' side either! ... Wanker! }}
* As mentioned above, the "insult swordfighting" in ''[[Monkey Island (
* In ''[[
{{quote|
* ''[[Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
{{quote|
'''Rebecca''': That's racist!
'''Desmond''': ''You're'' racist! }}
* In the remake of ''[[Splatterhouse]]'' (made worse by the fact that the villain had something like 200 years to think carefully to an appropriate comeback:
{{quote|
'''West''': "[[Precision F
* During your [[Recurring Boss|final battle with]] [[Smug Snake|Kai Leng]] in ''[[
{{quote|
'''Shepard:''' [[Dirty Coward|I'm only slow because I'm not running!]] You ran at {{spoiler|the Citadel}}! You ran on {{spoiler|Thessia}}!
'''Leng:''' Sh...Shut up! }}
== [[Web Comics]] ==
* [http://nonadventures.com/2006/09/15/believe-it-or-nazi/ This strip] from ''[[The Non
{{quote|
'''Wonderella:''' So's [[Your Mom]].
'''Hitlerella:''' Um, YES? Wait, did you just actually say that? }}
* The [[Villain Protagonist
{{quote|
'''Red Mage:''' Who cares?
'''Thief:''' Yeah, you're a weiner. You couldn't burn a match.
'''Black Mage:''' Yeah, well... Your face... is ugly. Shut up! }}
* An amusingly awkward attempted comeback by Marigold in ''[[Questionable Content]]'':
{{quote|
'''Marigold:''' I'll- I'll wash ''you'' more than twice a year! B-because you're a ''stupid jerk!'' Who ''smells!'' }}
* ''[[Rice Boy]]'':
{{quote|
'''Bor the Very Large''': Uh-huh, well - you aren't very large. }}
* In ''[[DMFA]]'', Aliph Soulstealer (a.k.a. Dark Pegasus) goes on a rant that starts [http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_985.php here], continues [http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_986.php here], and ends [http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_987.php here] with the following exchange:
{{quote|
'''Kria:''' Yeah, well... You're a buttface. }}
* ''[[Bobwhite]]''. [http://www.bobwhitecomics.com/?webcomic_post=20080903 Ivy and Cleo are competing in a videogame]:
{{quote|
'''Ivy:''' Your face has crazy good range. From ugly to... super ugly.
'''Cleo:''' Hee hee. I love when they do the little victory dance.
'''Ivy:''' I love your face when it's ugly. Which is all the time. }}
* In ''[[
{{quote|
'''Minmax:''' [[Ret
''[[Beat]]''
'''Minmax:''' Heh. Burn. }}
* ''[[The Order of the Stick]]'', "[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0286.html A Minor Glitch]": Belkar berates Vaarsuvius for saving his life and thus ruining his [[Thanatos Gambit]], pointing out that Durkon could have just [[Death Is Cheap|cast Raise Dead on him]] immediately afterward. After Vaarsuvius points out a [[Understatement|minor flaw]] in the plan, Belkar utterly fails to come up with a comeback.
{{quote|
Diamonds, I hasten to add, that he does not, in fact, possess?
'''Belkar:''' Well, uh...
Obviously, I would have...
''[[Beat]]''
'''Belkar:''' SHUT UP! }}
* Brooke "Aphrodite" Lennox ''[[Rival Angels]]'' is a [[The Ditz|ditz]]. The following exchange is just one of many, many examples:
{{quote|
'''Brooke:''' You're not smart! }}
== Web Original ==
* ''[[
{{quote|
'''[[The Ditz|Caboose]]''': No, YOU suck it... Blue... }}
** From Reconstruction:
{{quote|
'''Grif''': [[I Resemble That Remark|Your face is immature]]! }}
** And [[Lampshaded]] once or twice:
{{quote|
'''Tucker''': You mean he's dumber than ''you'' are.
'''Church''': Wow, Tucker. That was a classy comeback. }}
* From ''[[
{{quote|
Can you please write a book about
come-back jokes!
Mike
Canada
'''Strong Bad''': More like, ''you'' write a book about come-back jokes, ''NERD!'' }}
== Western Animation ==
* From ''[[The Simpsons (
{{quote|
'''Marge''': Well, it's statements like that that... are mean! }}
** A better one comes from Sideshow Bob:
{{quote|
'''Bob''': I'll stay away from your son alright. Stay away... forever!
'''Homer''': Oh no!
'''Bob''': Wait a minutes, that's no good. (''Leaves, groaning in frustration. Hurries back a moment later.'') Wait! I've got one now! Marge, say 'Stay away from my son' again!
'''Marge''': No! }}
* ''[[
{{quote|
'''Fry:''' No, I'm... doesn't! }}
* ''[[
* ''[[
{{quote|
'''Turd Sandwich:''' ''You're'' a turd sandwich. }}
** Also, Towelie
{{quote|
* ''[[Justice League (
{{quote|
'''Mirror Master''': You're quick as ever.
'''Flash''': Yeah? Well you're... you're not really all there!
'''Mirror Master''': Oh, nice try. If you had another minute you'd probably think of a decent comeback. }}
** He does come up with a better one after the battle:
{{quote|
** There was one in the [[Justice League (
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3v0ZaZn23I This] 'Marvel / DC' spoof:
{{quote|
'''[[Batman Beyond
'''Nightwing''': No ''you're'' the... issues person. }}
* A classic from ''[[Street Fighter]]: The Animated Series'':
{{quote|
Look at you! You've ignored your training, and have turned against all of your friends!!
'''Ken: '''And you! You're a loser!!! }}
* ''[[
{{quote|
Kevin: "...You think I don't know what that means? I ''know'' what that means!!" }}
* Pretty much everyone on ''[[Archer]]'', running as it does on [[Realistic Diction Is Unrealistic]] and parodies of the [[Bond One
{{quote|
'''Archer''': I don't ''have'' to try. [[[Beat]]] Shit. Whatever. ''Move.'' }}
* From ''[[Super Mario World (
{{quote|
'''Luigi''': Who's an egghead, ''eggface!?''
'''Magikoopa''': ''You'' are! ''[turns Luigi into an egg]'' So, whaddaya have to say ''now,'' egghead? }}
* From ''[[Robot Chicken]]'':
{{quote|
'''George Bush:''' Who dares question my... daring of his..dare... Jerk! }}
* From an episode of ''[[
{{quote|
'''Ben Affleck:''' Oh, yeah? Well, I'm not gonna save your privates, Ryan!
'''Matt Damon:''' You really are dumb, bro. }}
* From ''[[Dan Vs.]]'' "Canada":
{{quote|
'''Dan''': Good luck being ''stupid''.
'''Chris''': Well, good luck... you're stupid! }}
* ''[[The Tick (animation)]]'':
{{quote|
'''[[The Tick (animation)]]:''' *I* am that jerk; who wants to know? }}
* ''[[Invader Zim]]'' is not very good at comebacks: "[[Funny Moments|GO HOME AND SHAVE YOUR GIANT HEAD OF SMELL WITH YOUR BAD SELF!]]"
* On ''[[
{{quote|
'''Err:''' Oh yeah, well your face is stupid!
'''Meatwad:''' Oh, good one. You really got me. }}
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[[Category:Dialogue]]
[[Category:Insult Tropes]]
[[Category:
|