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{{quote|'''Scott''': ''This band sucks.''<br />
'''Monique''': ''That's what they'll be saying about ''you'' on Sunday.''<br />
'''Scott''': ''At least I... wait... something... you... insult...''|''[[Scott Pilgrim (Comic Book)|Scott Pilgrim vs. The World]]''}}
 
In a situation where the usual tropes call for a clever rejoinder, sometimes the absence of one can have the same effect (as far as the audience is concerned).
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== [[Comic Books]] ==
* ''[[Scott Pilgrim (Comic Book)|Scott Pilgrim]]'' is the king of this trope.
{{quote| '''Scott''' I... but... it's... not... it's totally... it's... y...you're not the boss of... me?}}
** Later:
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== [[Film]] ==
* ''[[Singin' in Thethe Rain (Film)|Singin in The Rain]]'': "I make more money than... [[Calvin Coolidge]]... put together!"
* ''[[The Big Lebowski (Film)|The Big Lebowski]]'' contains an example that, due to the Dude's sheer unflappable laid-backness being combined with Jesus Quintana's over-the-top arrogance, turns this trope into an artform, to the point where [[Memetic Mutation]] has in fact made this an ''actual comeback'' that is successful:
{{quote| '''Jesus''': You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.<br />
'''The Dude''': Yeah, well, you know, that's just like... uh... your opinion man. }}
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'''Tommy''': Shut up, Richard. }}
* In ''[[Funny People]]'', George is verbally abusing Ira {{spoiler|after Ira has [[Nice Job Breaking It, Hero|inadvertently]] destroyed George's admittedly slim chances of getting back together with '[[The One That Got Away]]'}}. Ira -- having put up with all the shit he's willing to take from George by this point -- proceeds to [[What the Hell, Hero?|completely demolish]] the other man and basically pegs him as a pathetic, bitter, self absorbed and self loathing man who even if he had everything he ever wanted still would find some way to fuck it up and be completely miserable because he doesn't even know how to be happy himself, much less inspire it in other people. Faced with this verbal assault, George's comeback -- that Ira isn't funny -- is exactly as pathetic as it sounds. And unfortunately, [[Insult Backfire|Ira has a comeback for that also]].
* From ''[[Serenity (Film)|Serenity]]'':
{{quote| '''Mal''': You want to run this ship?<br />
'''Jayne''': [[Rhetorical Question Blunder|Yes!]]<br />
'''Mal''': Well... you can't! }}
* In ''[[Hook (Film)|Hook]]'', Robin Williams as a grown-up [[Peter Pan]] when he engages in the verbal duel with Rufio.
** He quickly develops his own successful brand of insults, though. His opponent, Rufio, is eventually reduced to calling him "You stupid... you stupid ''man''!"
* ''Hercules Returns'' - Urses mocks Samson, trying to provoke him into a fight to see whether or not he's faking the loss of his strength. Samson's response?
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== [[Live Action TV]] ==
* ''[[Black AdderBlackadder]]'' did this a couple of times despite usually being very good with a comeback.
{{quote| '''Captain Rum''': Aaah, courtiers to the Queen, you're nothing but lapdogs to a slip of a girl!<br />
'''Blackadder''': Better a "lapdog to a slip of a girl" than a... ''git''!<br />
'''Captain Rum''': So you ''do'' have some spunk in you! }}
** In ''[[Black AdderBlackadder]] The Third'', George combines this with [[Comeback Tomorrow]], because he can't even think of a ''lame'' comeback on the spur of the moment:
{{quote| '''George''': Only the other day, [[William Pitt the Younger|Prime Minister Pitt]] called me an idle scrounger, and it wasn’t until ages later that I thought how clever it would have been to have said, "Oh, bugger off, you old fart!"}}
* From ''[[Friends]]'', when Chandler is in a fight with his girlfriend:
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{{quote| '''Donna:''' Eric, my sunburn will fade, but your shame will last forever.<br />
'''Eric:''' Yeah well, at least my shame won't... peel. }}
* From ''[[Supernatural (TV series)|Supernatural]]''
{{quote| '''Ruby''': It's called witchcraft, shortbus.<br />
'''Dean''': You're the shortbus... shortbus. }}
* ''[[The Larry Sanders Show]]'': Hank is guest-hosting the show and [[Drunk Withwith Power|letting his ego get out of control]]. Phil, the head writer, isn't impressed.
{{quote| '''Hank''': Hey, hey - you like your job?<br />
'''Phil''': No.<br />
'''Hank''':... Well watch it. }}
* ''[[Glee (TV)|Glee]]'': Shannon Beiste. Her comebacks are actually so lame that they leave her rival Sue speechless.
{{quote| '''Beiste''': Do not get up in The Panther's business, lady. You're all coffee and no omelette.<br />
'''Sue''': [''whispering to herself''] That doesn't make any sense... }}
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'''Tim''': "You will my friend, you will..." }}
* Lyle's inability to come up with a decent comeback is what drives his romantic interest in a recent episode of ''[[Kingdom]]''
* In ''[[The Big Bang Theory (TV)|The Big Bang Theory]]'':
{{quote| ''(Sheldon's phone rings)'' '''Leslie:''' Don't turn it off, you might miss your call from the Nobel committee letting you know you've been nominated as Dumbass Laureate of the year.<br />
'''Sheldon:''' Oh yeah? Well... you wouldn't even be nominated! }}
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{{quote| '''Ronnie''': I'm going to contact the authorities!<br />
'''Micky''': ...You do and I'll be sorry! }}
* Requisite ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)|Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' example:
** In "Out of Mind, Out of Sight" Cordelia is giving out chocolates to drum up votes to become May Queen.
{{quote| '''Cordelia:''' Here's a chocolate... ''(realises it's Buffy)'' Oh, I don't think I need the loony-fringe vote.<br />
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{{quote| '''Spike:''' Back off Betty.<br />
'''Buffy:''' [[My Name Is Not Durwood|It's Buffy]], you big bleached...stupid guy. }}
* The plot of an episode of ''[[Seinfeld (TV)|Seinfeld]]'' was George trying to come up with a good comeback to use on a guy who burned him. All he could come up with was "The jerk store called, and it's running out of you." He's so proud of this that he travels to a city he doesn't want to go to, and makes an ass of himself again, just so the guy will insult him again so he can make this comeback. After all that, the guy deflects it in two seconds with "why should they worry when you're their main supply?"
** In the episode, "The Dealership", Elaine criticizes Puddy (her boyfriend) for constantly giving the high-five to people:
{{quote| '''Elaine''': You’re a salesman now - and the high-five is.. it’s very grease monkey.<br />
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'''Bob Fossil''':... Nice comeback.<br />
'''Howard''': (''after Fossil leaves'') Uh, yeah well... your uniform is too tight and you look stupid! }}
* From ''[[Lost (TV)|Lost]]'', in one of the instances where Hurley gets tired of Sawyer's nicknames:
{{quote| '''Sawyer''': What's your problem, Jumbotron?<br />
'''Hurley''': Shut up, red... neck... man.<br />
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* In the ''[[Better Off Ted]]'' episode "The Impertence of Communicationizing", Phil laments his lack of ability to insult people:
{{quote| '''Phil:''' The best comeback I ever came up with was, "You're right, I'll work on that."}}
* [[House (TV series)|House]] has a combination of this and [[Comeback Tomorrow]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN2pV8S63rw here].
* In ''[[ICarly (TV)|I Carly]]'', Freddie isn't very good at comebacks for Sam.
{{quote| '''Sam''': Hit it, Fred-Weiner!<br />
'''Freddie''': Sure thing, Sam... jerk. }}
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{{quote| '''Echo''': You're so corny.<br />
'''Paul''': You're...fat! }}
* In the ''[[Scrubs (TV)|Scrubs]]'' "My Butterfly":
{{quote| '''Dr. Cox''': Look, newbie, if you go ahead and leave this hospital knowing only one thing -- and God save me, it looks like there's a real chance that might happen -- please let this be that one thing: I'm in charge, and I don't care about your opinion. Now [whistles] go get me a cup of coffee.<br />
'''J.D.''': [thinking] Whatever. Just avoid the shoulder bump, catch the elevator, and make a great wise-ass remark before the doors close!<br />
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'''Dr. Cox''': '''HE'S DONE IT! HE'S DONE IT! DORIAN'S THE MOST! ANNOYING! MAN! IN THE WORLD!''' Who would have ever thought? A Journeyman annoyer like Dorian...<br />
'''J.D.''': ''(As Dr Cox is leaving the room)'' You were a close second. }}
* In the ''[[Boy Meets World (TV)|Boy Meets World]]'' episode "Honesty Night", Cory and Topanga [[It Makes Sense in Context|pretend to be mad at each other in front of Shawn]], and when they trade fake insults Cory proves he's not very good at ending them:
{{quote| '''Topanga:''' I can't believe you said that to me, you stunted little whiny brillo-head!<br />
'''Cory:''' Oh yeah, well you're a short little nasal voiced blimpo lipped... so and so! ''(whispering)'' I need more time. }}
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== [[Video Games]] ==
* Master Chief in ''[[Halo (Video Gameseries)|Halo]]'' uses these a lot in the [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LTxO_pgMqys Master Chief Sucks At Halo] videos (loadsa swearing):
{{quote| '''Teammate''': You had -3 kills and 41 deaths!<br />
'''Master Chief''': [[Your Mom]] had -3 kills in bed last night. }}
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'''Leon:''' Saddler, you're small-time!<br />
'''Saddler:''' Oh... hahahahahaha! Writhe in my cage of torment my friend. }}
* The MMORPG ''[[Kingdom of Loathing (Video Game)|Kingdom of Loathing]]'' includes a mini-game called [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Insult_Beer_Pong Insult Beer Pong], in which you have to respond appropriately to various insults (e.g., if your opponent says "When I'm through with you, you'll be crying like a little girl," you say "It's an honor to learn from such an expert in the field"). But you can't just start with battle; you have to research the insults and comebacks. So you grab ''The Big Book of Pirate Insults'', get into fights with various pirates, insult them at random from the book, and learn various witty comebacks, which are then available for you during the match.<ref>The book insults are different from the beer pong insults, but if you learn every possible comeback, you should be able to come up with one that fits each new insult. For instance, you can learn the aforementioned comeback in combat if you use "I'll teach you the meaning of fear, you gutless coward!"</ref> If a pirate can't think of an insult, he'll stammer out something like "Yeah? Well... so's your face!" - and there are five possible Lame Comebacks for you to use during the match (if you want to lose), including "Stop waving it around like a featherduster!" - an extended reference to [[Monkey Island]].
* In ''[[Team Fortress 2 (Video Game)|Team Fortress 2]]'', the Sniper has a domination quote in reference to the Spy:
{{quote| '''The Spy''': [[Bond One-Liner|I never really was on your side.]]<br />
'''The Sniper''': ''I'' was never on ''your'' side either! ... Wanker! }}
* As mentioned above, the "insult swordfighting" in ''[[Monkey Island (Video Gameseries)|Monkey Island]]'' is based not around actual fencing ability, but about being able to [[You Fight Like a Cow|come up with clever comebacks]] to your opponents' insults to gain advantage in the duel. There are a couple of stock lame comebacks - "I am rubber, you are glue" or "Boy are you ugly!" - which don't work on any insult. In later games, "how appropriate - you fight like a cow!" goes from being a legitimate retort to Guybrush's go-to [[Lame Comeback]] whenever somebody insults him.
* In ''[[Portal 2 (Video Game)|Portal 2]]'', during the [[Final Boss]] fight, if you let Rick the Adventure Sphere talk long enough, he will eventually ask if you have a "[[Pre-Mortem One-Liner|Cool Line]]" prepared for when you kill {{spoiler|Wheatley}}. After some unsuccessful attempts to think one up himself, he will try to [[Invoked Trope|invoke]] one by asking Chell to get {{spoiler|Wheatley}} to say "You two have been a thorn in my side for long enough!", reminding you to do so as he is plugged in. Once all three cores are plugged in and the final part of the fight starts up, {{spoiler|Wheatley}}'s dialogue will have now changed slightly to include Rick's setup line word-for-word. Rick then delivers his "[[Pre-Mortem One-Liner|Cool Line]]". It's... a little underwhelming.
{{quote| '''Rick''': "Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down. Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head."}}
* ''[[Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood (Video Game)|Assassin's Creed Brotherhood]]'':
{{quote| '''Desmond''':''(stereotypical Italian accent)'' Ey, what's-a-matter you Altair?<br />
'''Rebecca''': That's racist!<br />
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{{quote| '''Rick''': (after hearing Doctor West's [[Motive Rant]]): "Yeah, well... Fuck you."<br />
'''West''': "[[Precision F-Strike|No, Rick! Fuck you!]]" }}
* During your [[Recurring Boss|final battle with]] [[Smug Snake|Kai Leng]] in ''[[Mass Effect 3 (Video Game)|Mass Effect 3]]'', he tries taunting Shepard. Shepard throws it right back at him, and his comeback line reeks of lame.
{{quote| '''Leng:''' You're still slow, Shepard!<br />
'''Shepard:''' [[Dirty Coward|I'm only slow because I'm not running!]] You ran at {{spoiler|the Citadel}}! You ran on {{spoiler|Thessia}}!<br />
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== [[Web Comics]] ==
* [http://nonadventures.com/2006/09/15/believe-it-or-nazi/ This strip] from ''[[The Non -Adventures of Wonderella (Webcomic)|The Non Adventures of Wonderella]]'':
{{quote| '''Hitlerella:''' Oh my, did you just make a sweeping generalization that all Germans have masculine features? What about Heidi Klum? She's German.<br />
'''Wonderella:''' So's [[Your Mom]].<br />
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'''Cleo:''' Hee hee. I love when they do the little victory dance.<br />
'''Ivy:''' I love your face when it's ugly. Which is all the time. }}
* In ''[[Goblins (Webcomic)|Goblins]]'', Minmax is notoriously bad at witty banter.
{{quote| '''Kin:''' Minmax! [[Ret-Gone|Stop throwing your clothes]] into [[Negative Space Wedgie|the hole]]!<br />
'''Minmax:''' [[Ret-Gone|I haven't thrown anything into the hole yet!]] You're the one throwing craziness into the hole 'cause you're craz... No, wait, you're... You're throwing... Yourself... No. Wait. You're... Yeah! Yeah! You're throwing yourself into the crazy hole!<br />
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== Web Original ==
* ''[[Red vs. Blue (Machinima)|Red vs. Blue]]'' has a lot of these, despite the fact that the initial insults are hardly clever themselves.
{{quote| '''Simmons''': Suck it, Blue!<br />
'''[[The Ditz|Caboose]]''': No, YOU suck it... Blue... }}
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'''Tucker''': You mean he's dumber than ''you'' are.<br />
'''Church''': Wow, Tucker. That was a classy comeback. }}
* From ''[[Homestar Runner (Web Animation)|Homestar Runner]]'':
{{quote| Dear strong bad,<br />
Can you please write a book about<br />
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== Western Animation ==
* From ''[[The Simpsons (Animationanimation)|The Simpsons]]'';
{{quote| '''Professor''': Marge, it's statements like that that make people think women are stupid.<br />
'''Marge''': Well, it's statements like that that... are mean! }}
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'''Bob''': Wait a minutes, that's no good. (''Leaves, groaning in frustration. Hurries back a moment later.'') Wait! I've got one now! Marge, say 'Stay away from my son' again!<br />
'''Marge''': No! }}
* ''[[Futurama (Animation)|Futurama]]'':
{{quote| '''Dwight:''' I heard alcohol makes you stupid.<br />
'''Fry:''' No, I'm... doesn't! }}
* ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants (Animation)|SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' engages Sandy in a name-calling contest until all he can come up with is "not-wet person".
* ''[[South Park (Animation)|South Park]]'', episode "Douche and Turd":
{{quote| '''Giant Douche:''' I would hope that those students and their parents who question my qualities would simply look at my opponent. He is a turd sandwich.<br />
'''Turd Sandwich:''' ''You're'' a turd sandwich. }}
** Also, Towelie
{{quote| ''You're'' a towel!}}
* ''[[Justice League (Animationanimation)|JusticeLeagueUnlimited]]'' episode "Flash and Substance":
{{quote| '''Flash''': Mirror Master!<br />
'''Mirror Master''': You're quick as ever.<br />
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** He does come up with a better one after the battle:
{{quote| '''Flash''': While you're waiting for me to come arrest you, why not take some time and reflect on your mistakes! Hey, that was pretty good.}}
** There was one in the [[Justice League (Animationanimation)|Justice League]] episode "Brave and the Bold" when Gorilla Grodd gets snippy with Flash and he responds with: "Oh yeah? Well, you're... naked! (he shrugs to Solovar behind him because he knew it was lame). The more hilarious part is that the comment was actually pretty funny.
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3v0ZaZn23I This] 'Marvel / DC' spoof:
{{quote| '''Nightwing''': You're nothing but a hack, McGinnis!<br />
'''[[Batman Beyond (Animation)|Terry McGinnis]]''': You got issues, Dick.<br />
'''Nightwing''': No ''you're'' the... issues person. }}
* A classic from ''[[Street Fighter]]: The Animated Series'':
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Look at you! You've ignored your training, and have turned against all of your friends!!<br />
'''Ken: '''And you! You're a loser!!! }}
* ''[[Daria (Animation)|Daria]]'': Kevin and Brittany get into one of their weekly arguments; before stalking off, Britney snaps at him,
{{quote| "Don't you fretranize me!"<br />
Kevin: "...You think I don't know what that means? I ''know'' what that means!!" }}
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{{quote| '''Barry''': So don't try to do anything stupid.<br />
'''Archer''': I don't ''have'' to try. [[[Beat]]] Shit. Whatever. ''Move.'' }}
* From ''[[Super Mario World (Animationanimation)|Super Mario World]]'':
{{quote| '''Magikoopa''': Hey, watch where you're goin', ya egghead!<br />
'''Luigi''': Who's an egghead, ''eggface!?''<br />
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{{quote| '''Abe Lincoln:''' Who dares disturbs my slumber?!<br />
'''George Bush:''' Who dares question my... daring of his..dare... Jerk! }}
* From an episode of ''[[Celebrity Deathmatch (Animation)|Celebrity Deathmatch]]'':
{{quote| '''Matt Damon:''' Hey, Ben, Armageddon ready to kick your ass!<br />
'''Ben Affleck:''' Oh, yeah? Well, I'm not gonna save your privates, Ryan!<br />
'''Matt Damon:''' You really are dumb, bro. }}
* From ''[[Dan Vs.]]'' "Canada":
{{quote| '''Chris''': Good luck getting home.<br />
'''Dan''': Good luck being ''stupid''.<br />
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'''[[The Tick]]:''' *I* am that jerk; who wants to know? }}
* ''[[Invader Zim]]'' is not very good at comebacks: "[[Funny Moments|GO HOME AND SHAVE YOUR GIANT HEAD OF SMELL WITH YOUR BAD SELF!]]"
* On ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Animation)|Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'', after the Mooninites acquire the [[The Power of Rock|Foreigner Belt]]:
{{quote| '''Meatwad:''' Your belt is stupid.<br />
'''Err:''' Oh yeah, well your face is stupid!<br />
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