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{{trope}}
[[File:8btnever.jpg|link=8-Bit Theater|
{{quote|''"I cannot jump the distance, you'll have to toss me!... Don't tell the elf."''
|'''Gimli''', ''[[The Lord of the Rings (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers]]''}}
[[Hilarity Ensues]] because a character must perform an act that is either against their nature or which they have vehemently and constantly protested against doing. Said action can also be just plain humiliating or all of the
This trope can be used to introduce a [[Noodle Incident]], with one character reminding the other they promised never to speak of that again. Alternatively they may have just completed the action, make some passing reference to how unusual or interesting it was, and then pull this line.
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It can be parodied by the person(s) who are told to never mention it again is genuinely unaware of what happened for whatever reason, with them asking "Speak about what again?" getting taken by the person wanting the secret kept as a joke implying compliance with their wish.
Compare [[You Didn't See That]], [[Never Say That Again]], [[That Didn't Happen]], and [[
{{examples}}
▲== Anime & Manga ==
* ''[[Mahou Sensei Negima]]''
** Asuna says this to everybody after an unfortunate incident involving [[The World Tree]] that turns Negi into "[[Determinator|the kissing Terminator]]" who [[Kissing Under the Influence|forces her into a french kiss]]... for so long that she nearly suffocates. Negi is still totally unaware that this happened.
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* During the first ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh (anime)|Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', Kaiba sums up the Noah filler arc as a "complete waste of [his] time and effort, so let's move on and pretend that nonsense never happened."
** [[Hilarious in Hindsight|Which really sounds like the sort of thing that]] [[Little Kuriboh]] [[Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series|would have made him say.]]
* In the end of the first season of ''[[Pokémon (anime)|Pokémon]]'', Brock decided to stay with a beautiful Professor Ivy. Two seasons later, he returns to Ash's hometown to help his mom and Prof. Oak. Somehow, the relationship ended badly for him, as any mention of her name will cause him to [[Corner of Woe|hide under a table or something to that extent]]. We [[Noodle Incident|never learned what happened]], and he's not talking. It was never brought up again
== Comedy ==▼
* Arachnophobic comedian Phil Jupitus explaining that if you go to get a glass and coaster, and on your return the spider has disappeared, you can never use that room again:▼
{{quote|"The ''old'' living room is a place of evil, my children. We shall speak of it no more."}}▼
== Comic Books ==
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* In ''[[Transformers Animated|Transformers Animated: The Arrival #2]]'', after Professor Princess blackmails Starscream into not attacking her (by threatening to broadcast an [[Embarrassing Old Photo|image of him]] [http://tfwiki.net/w2/images2/3/39/StarscreamProfessorArrivalIssue2.jpg in a wig and makeup] around the galaxy), a rather perturbed Starscream says this [[Villain Exit Stage Left|and flies off]].
* Nikola Tesla made ''[[Atomic Robo]]'' promise that he would shoot Charles Fort and [[H.P. Lovecraft]] if they should ever mention [[The Tunguska Event]].
== Fan Works ==
* In the Cropped Scan Theater rip of ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20081005124233/http://www.moonpants.org/cst.html Yami no Matsuei]'', the first filler chapter which had no relevance to the rest of the plot was ended by this exchange:
{{quote|'''Tsuzuki:''' And all's well that ends with shoujo bubbles and the acceptance of mortality. Now let us never speak of this again.
'''Matsushita-sensei:''' And they never did. }}
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* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series|Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Movie]]'' gives us this exchange:
{{quote|'''Yugi:''' Well, it's the end of the movie. All in all, it was kinda disappointing.
'''Téa:''' I can't help but feel it was all [[Merchandise-Driven|just a cheap cash-in made to promote a bunch of cards.]]
'''Grampa Moto:''' It's almost like this whole story was thrown together at the last minute.
'''Pegasus:''' I agree. So, from now on, let's pretend it never happened. }}
* Freeza from ''[[Dragon Ball Abridged|Dragon Ball Z Abridged]]'' has one of these after an awkward conversation with Zarbon after the latter mentions his girlfriend.
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'''Freeza:''' Well, no, I just... I thought you were into... you know, it really doesn't matter.
'''Zarbon:''' Well it matters to me, because, frankly it sounds like you thought I was--
'''Random Minion:''' Lord Freeza! Vegeta's broken out of the healing--[[Killed Mid-Sentence|TAAAAANK!]] ''(dies by ki blast)''
'''Freeza:''' Oh no, that minion died. Could you go fix that? We'll continue this conversation never. }}
* Crane says this to Po in ''[[Kung Fu Panda]]'' after Crane helps him out of an uncomfortable position.
* A variation in ''[[Ice Age|Ice Age 2]]'': After Diego and Sid are easily beaten up by two possums:
{{quote|'''Diego:''' If anybody ever asks, there were fifty of them. And they were... rattlesnakes."}}
* The ''[[Starsky and Hutch (film)|Starsky and Hutch]]'' film has this in spades. After Starsky (Ben Stiller) and Hutch (Owen Wilson) have to do some fairly embarrassing things to get information out of a con, Hutch starts to talk about it in the car ride back, and Starsky shuts him. "No! No! Let's not talk about it. In fact, let's never speak of this again." Of course, when they get back to the station, it's been recorded and is playing in the Captain's office with all of the other officers watching.
* In the film version of ''[[The Lord of the Rings (film)|The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers]]'' Gimli says the above quote before having Aragorn use him in a [[Fastball Special]] (a reference to a scene in the first movie in which he objected to being thrown by Legolas). Aragorn promises not to say a word.
* ''[[Harold
* An oblique variant in ''[[Spaceballs]]'': after watching the painful footage of being catapulted into the bulkhead of Spaceball One, Dark Helmet says "No, no. Go past this part. In fact never play this part again."
* ''[[The Hunt for Red October]]''. After Admiral Greer fakes the torpedoing and destruction of the ''Red October'', he tells the torpedo control officer of the frigate he's on:
{{quote|'''Admiral Greer:''' Now, Commander... that torpedo did
* In the end of ''[[Zathura]]'', {{spoiler|the sister Lisa says this to her younger brothers, mainly because she thought the future version of one of them was hot before finding out who he was}}. They bring it up anyway.
* Burt Gummer says this after surviving being swallowed by a Grabiod in the third ''[[Tremors]]'' movie.
{{quote|'''Burt:''' I would prefer... we keep this... to ourselves.}}
* ''[[Wild Wild West (film)|Wild Wild West]]'': When Jim West gets [[It Makes Sense in Context|stuck to Artemis Gordon's belt buckle]], he tells Gordon to make sure and leave that part out when retelling the story. Artemis responds with a very emphatic "Oh don't worry."
* A non-funny example occurs at the end of ''[[4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days]]''.
* A even less funny example from ''[[Pulp Fiction]]''. After Butch saves him from Zed's... attentions, Marsellus Wallace demands two things, of which the first is... "Don't tell nobody about this. This shit is between me, you, and [[Rape and Revenge|Mr. Soon-to-Be-Living-the-Rest-of-His-Short-Ass-Life-in-Agonizing-Pain Rapist here]]. It ain't nobody else's business."
* ''[[National Treasure: Book of Secrets]]'' has a part where Gates successfully convinces the president to tell him about the President's Secret Book, in an attempt to find the long-lost City of Gold. However, Gates is warned beforehand:
{{quote|'''President''': The following conversation never happened.}}
== Literature ==
* ''[[Discworld]]''
** ''[[
** Also in ''[[
* In ''[[Pride and Prejudice And Zombies]]'' the Bennet girls come across a zombie mother and infant and find themselves unable to kill them. Afterward they swear never to mention it again.
== Live-Action TV ==
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** And there's the time that Monica is stung by a jellyfish. A friend who will pee on you is a friend indeed.
* ''[[Star Trek: The Next Generation]]''
** The episode "[[Star Trek: The Next Generation/Recap/S1
** In "Skin of Evil", Tasha's funeral speech was supposed to include an apologetic "Data, it ''did'' happen." It's clear to see where it was supposed to be, as they left in Geordi's reaction shot.
** Subverted in that it actually is brought up again. During Data's trial [[What Measure Is a Non-Human?|to determine whether he is a full-fledged person with rights]], Picard persuades him to reveal it.
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* ''[[Angel]]'' played it for laughs in the episode "The Girl in Question". The head of Wolfram and Hart's Rome branch used it several times.
{{quote|'''CEO lady''' ''(spit)'' We will speak of it no more!}}
* In an episode of ''[[Would I Lie to You?]]'', Neil Morrisey, voice of [[Bob the Builder]], had as one of his "facts" that he once had a builder working at his house who was in fact named Bob. David Mitchell said that if that was true, it was completely unremarkable, and the conversation probably went, "Do you know, I'm actually a builder called Bob." "Right. I do the voice of Bob the Builder." "Right." [short laugh all around] "Let us never speak of this."
* ''[[The West Wing]]'' [[Lampshaded]] its frequent use of of the [[Walk and Talk]] by having Sam and Josh walking through the crowded hallways having a conversation as usual. At the end, they both came to a stop and asked each other where they were going. Turns out they were both following each other. Josh: "Let's not tell anyone about this."
* ''[[Doctor Who]]''
** In the episode "[[Doctor Who
** The Doctor also had one of his own when the head of Torchwood found out that the woman he'd claimed was Rose Tyler was actually Rose's mother.
{{quote|'''The Doctor:''' Please, when Torchwood comes to write my complete history, don't tell people I traveled through time and space with her mother.}}
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'''Bernard:''' YOU SAID WE WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT [[Noodle Incident|CANADA!]] }}
== Recorded and Stand Up Comedy ==
▲* Arachnophobic comedian Phil Jupitus explaining that if you go to get a glass and coaster, and on your return the spider has disappeared, you can never use that room again:
▲{{quote|"The ''old'' living room is a place of evil, my children. We shall speak of it no more."}}
== Video Games ==
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* Suggested in ''[[Team Fortress 2]]'''s [[In-Universe Marketing]] for [[Urine Trouble|Jarate]].
{{quote|You may say, "But I don't HAVE any enemies!" Well, do you have FRIENDS? Are they on FIRE? Right NOW? Jarate them to a non-on fire state INSTANTLY! Being on fire is horrible! They'll never want to talk about your Jarate rescue ever again, but you'll have their secret undying gratitude!}}
== Web Comics ==
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'''Riff:''' Let's see. We're charred, we have twigs in our hair and we're covered in ducks.
'''Bun-bun:''' I vote we all go home and never speak of this again. }}
* ''[[Bard]]'': [https://web.archive.org/web/20140501133859/http://barred.smackjeeves.com/comics/850119/how-to-improvise/ Vas] uses his [[Gender Bender|change of gender]] to quell the rage of one of the more violent patrons by... stuffing her face into his new rack. It takes a bit for this to register with him, though.
* In ''[[Questionable Content]]'' [http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=447 #447], Marten and
* In ''[[Homestuck]]'', Karkat takes this to the logical extreme by {{spoiler|trolling John backwards, so that they'll never be able to talk about the first conversation (from Karkat's perspective), where Karkat accidentally reveals his hatecrush for John. Needless to say, it's hilarious.}}
* In ''[[Housepets]]'', Peanut Butter and Grape happen to see Fido and Sabrina do... something, in [http://www.housepetscomic.com/2008/09/26/goodnight-everybody/ this comic]. Afterward, Grape tells Peanut,<ref>who took a picture of the "something", though the viewer never gets to see it</ref>
* Used by the characters after a revelation from his creator [[1/0]].
* ''[[Schlock Mercenary]]'': [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-05-21 Ennesby to Schlock], after a particularly [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-05-20 unpleasant moment].
* In ''Northern Edge'' (a spin-off of Fred Perry's ''[[Gold Digger (Comic Book)|Gold Digger]]''), Sheila just want to forget all about she and two companions [[Spank the Cutie|being spanked]] by [[Naughty Tentacles]]. Fat chance of this, though, since there was [http://ne.tsunami-art.com/view.aspx?Rec=24 a rune artist present on the scene to immortilize it]{{Dead link}}.
* In ''[[Blue Yonder]]'', after [https://web.archive.org/web/20120111010516/http://www.blueyondercomic.net/comics/1371537/blue-yonder-chapter-1-page-41/ Lena tricks them into fleeing a cellphone], one attacker tells another, "No one has to know."
* In ''[[Girl Genius]]'', Gilgamesh orders that his [[Nice Hat]] should be hidden in a safe place -- [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20120116 and never spoken about again.]
{{quote|'''DuPree:''' I heard there was a ''hat!''
'''Gil:''' You're ''delusional''. }}
** Krosp [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20060127 after] falling into a sewer.
* ''[[The In Joke]]'' has it right on [http://theinjoke.thecomicseries.com/comics/1/ the page #1] (applied to [[Noodle Incident|something not described]], of course).
* [[Cloudcuckoolander|Millie]] and [[Alpha Bitch|Felicia]] in ''[[Ozy and Millie]]'' are so embarassed to discover they both like ''[[Harry Potter]]'' that they want to forget about it and let no one know.
== Web Original ==
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* Quoted during [[Riff Trax]]'s take on ''[[The Last Airbender]]'' after they see [[Memetic Mutation|The Pebble Dance]].
* A double [[GIRL]] on [http://www.bash.org/?768122 bash.org] provokes this reaction from the participants. Subverted. [[Hilarious in Hindsight|Since it's on bash.org and all]].
== Western Animation ==
* ''[[South Park]]'': In the "Fantastic Easter Special" episode, Jewish Kyle and [[Jesus
* ''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]''
** The Itchy and Scratchy Land episode, after Homer takes a disastrous shortcut:
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** Subverted, since after saying this line she immediately references the incident again:
{{quote|'''Marge:''' Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head -- like a certain uncle did one grey December morn...}}
** This also happened after the episode where Principal Skinner was revealed to be really an imposter named Armin Tamzarian. The cleared up the problem by deciding they [[We Want Our Jerk Back|were happier with the fake Skinner]], and the real one was run out of town. The local judge issues a decree that no-one will ever mention it again, under penalty of ''torture''.
** ''Another'' episode introduces Grandpa's brother Cyrus, with dialogue to this effect (paraphrasing):
{{quote|'''Bart & Lisa:''' You never told us you had a brother, grandpa.
'''Grandpa:''' Yes, and I'll never speak of him again. }}
* ''[[The Powerpuff Girls]]'' had episode "[[Shotgun Wedding]]", in which the Professor tries to learn more about Fuzzy Lumpkins [[For Science!|for the purpose of science]], and after getting covered in mud, flowers, and a curtain is mistaken for a woman by Fuzzy and nearly forced to marry him. After the Professor is saved by the Powerpuff Girls, he writes on notepad that he was using "Lumpkins are, above all, stupid" and as a sidenote "never speak of this again"... and then eats it. He gets really mad when the Girls mention it about 10 seconds later.
* ''[[The Grim Adventures of Billy
{{quote|'''Grim:''' We keep flying, we never head back, and we never talk about this again.}}
* The 2008 [[Transformers|BotCon]] script reading, "'Bee in the City", ends with all parties involved agreeing to never speak of the incident again.
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'''Helga:''' Gotcha. }}
* In ''[[Recess]]'' all the group agreed this when they see Spinelli having fun dancing Hula Hula with Finster, who was babysitting her in that episode.
* In the ''[[Justice League (animation)|Justice League]]'' episode "This Little Piggy" we get to see how far Batman will go to save Wonder Woman [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoRundeX6O0&feature=related here].
* ''[[Family Guy]]''
** Meg gives her brother Chris advice on how to cajole their father Peter... that might work for a well-loved daughter:
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'''Baljeet:''' Agreed. }}
* ''[[Jackie Chan Adventures]]'': Ratso on having to remove an [[Mask of Power|Oni Mask]] from Finn's rear end.
{{quote|'''[[The Dragon|Ikazuki]]:''' Well? What are you waiting for?!
'''Ratso:''' Uh, well, this is kinda awkward.
'''[[Maurice LaMarche|Ikazuki]]:''' Simpleton! Do as you are told!
'''Finn:''' What he said.
'''Ratso:''' Okay! But we are ''never'' gonna bring this up again.
'''Chow:''' I'm not even here. }}
* ''[[Danny Phantom]]'': In "Reality Trip", Sam wonders how Danny convinced her parents to let her go on a cross-country trip with him and Tucker, and the explanation is thus:
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'''Applejack:''' The same way [Discord] got you to think that cheap rock was a bonafide diamond?
'''Rarity''': ...I thought we agreed never to speak of that again. }}
* ''[[King of the Hill]]'': Years ago, Hank, Dale and Bill "borrowed" Boomhauer's car for a joyride and
* ''[[The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes]]'': Iron Fist and Luke Cage agree not to let anyone know that they lost a battle against a bank robber who wielded Ant-Man gear.
* In the [[Grand Finale]] of ''[[Gravity Falls]]'', {{spoiler|the town actually passes a law called the "Never Mind All That" Act, which forbids any town resident from talking about [[Apocalypse Not|Weirdmageddon]], and this was actually one of the few unique laws of the town that makes sense.}}
----
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{{reflist}}
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[[Category:Comedy Tropes]]
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