Lite Creme: Difference between revisions

* Another common one is "(X) flavour" as in "chocolate-flavour" or "banana-flavour". Something described as "chocolate flavour" likely contains no actual chocolate and may not taste anything like chocolate at all. It's probably the right colour, though.<br /><br />Case in point: "Strawberry" flavor -- such as that used in Strawberry Yoo-Hoo -- rarely tastes anything like real strawberries. Similarly, "Watermelon Flavor" rarely tastes like real watermelon. And "Peach Flavor"... urgh. The point here is that rather than using real strawberries, the strongest of the thousands of chemicals which give them their flavour -- possibly only one or two -- are isolated or synthesised to give the flavouring agent.

** That's exactly how it is. More realistic artificial flavorings are complex blends of various chemicals that should be carefully balanced to give a proper representation of the taste and aroma profiles of a real deal. Flavor chemists that create them are not unlike perfume makers, and they should have not only a good chemical knowledge, but also well-trained senses of taste and smell, or employ a specialist tasters. Cheaper flavorings, on the other hand, use one or two chemicals that give something broadly similar to the intended product (sometimes ''[[In Name Only|very broadly]]'') and call it a day. Strawberry flavor is notorious for being a very complex blend of various tastes and aromas and is ''very'' difficult to imitate convincingly, so hardly anyone bothers.

* Long John Silver's, a fast food seafood restaurant, advertises that they serve langostino lobster, another term for squat lobster, a species closer to ''hermit crabs'' than what we would think of as lobsters.

** This is pretty common in marketing sea food. When it was discovered that the evil-sounding Patagonian Toothfish could be profitably raised in fish farms, its name got transmogrified into "Chilean sea bass" on the way to the grocery store, and "dolphinfish" became "mahi mahi".

* In New York, wine can only be sold in dedicated liquor stores. Grocery stores can sell beverages that are up to 6% alcohol by volume, including beer, hard cider, and "wine products." Please don't confuse Chateau Diana Wine Product for actual wine.

* In Canada, buying "maple butter" is definitely better than buying "map-o-spread". Speaking of maple products, be careful when buying maple syrup in the US. "Real Maple Syrup" is not. "Maple Syrup", by contrast, is. And "Natural Maple Syrup" is just a bad idea. If you don't want to worry about it (and who does?), just get corn syrup. But not "Corn-Flavored Syrup", which is neither corn syrup, nor delicious.<br /><br />Look for the USDA sticker and classification in the US. If it says Grade A/B Light/Medium/Dark Amber, it's good. (But if you're really particular, pay close attention to the label. Dark Amber has a much stronger maple flavor than Light Amber.)<br /><br />Not surprisingly, the Canadian government has an entire sub-department dedicated to ensuring the purity and quality of Canadian-produced maple syrup. Any hint of a company selling ersatz maple syrup will bring the wrath of God (or at least the Department of Agriculture - sometimes they're hard to tell apart) down on someone's sorry head. This troper has never seen ''anything'' as fierce as when an American company tried to market its maple-flavoured dreck as "pure maple". The government literally smashed the bottles out in the street in front of the warehouse as if they were Carrie Nation taking it to barrels of Prohibition hooch. Entertaining but weird.

** This troper can attest to that. When some enterprising souls discovered that a particular coastal region of Spain (the "Tropical coast" of the province of Granada) has just the perfect climate to grow some tropical fruits, avocados (which used to be "exotic fruit nobody you know has ever tasted") turned overnight into "everyday salad ingredient".

* If you're looking for fruit juice from something other than apples, grapes, pineapples, or oranges, it's very improbable you'll find it. Instead, you're likely to see things such as "apricot nectar," "pear cocktail," "lemon drink," "blueberry punch," and "cherry blend." All of these will probably consist of as little of the top-billed ingredient as legally possible (usually in the form of pulp,) large amounts of filler juices (usually apple or white grape), lots of water, and sugar or other sweetener.<br /><br />Some of this is justifiable, because not all juices are good to drink. It's not hard to find lemon or lime juice, but they are ingredients, not beverages. And cranberry juice is unpalatable by itself. A lot of unsweetened juices from the more exotic fruits (meaning basically anything -- not apples, grapes, oranges, or pineapples) do serve as a non-alcoholic alternative to wine, as their taste can be similar enough for the (presumed) intended purpose.

* Boneless chicken nuggets with hot sauce on them tend to be called "wyngs" or "wingz."

** These are sometimes marketed as "tenders," meant to be evocative of tenderloins without actually promising to be that particular cut of meat. They're likely processed from scraps from breasts, thighs, and others that were trimmed away from other cuts. "Breast tenders" and "white meat tenders" are similarly evocative of tenderloins.

* In Hungary there is "morning drink" and "cocoa drink" that look like milk but contain none, and "cocoa milk mass" that looks like chocolate but contains none. (The actual "D-Lite" phenomenon is nonexistent because the language doesn't allow most words to be spelled in multiple ways, but the usage of "inexact" words and circumscription serves the same purpose.)

* You can often find a product in grocery stores sold next to the ice cream, in containers indistinguishable from the ice cream containers, that is rather unnervingly not referred to as "ice cream" but as "frozen dairy dessert", mainly because it doesn't contain any cream or for that matter any milk fat at all. And then, to provide for the same creamy consistency they put a lot of synthetic additives there.

* If the stuff you're buying is in Spanish, beware of the word 'sucedáneo', which is a pretty obscure word for 'substitute', and 'producto', which means 'product'. That thing in your cart? It isn't butter, just a close enough substitute. Chocolate milk? Umm, no, just a milk product with something else (they won't tell you what) as a substitute of chocolate.

* Meta example: "Nutritionist". Everyone who has contributed to this article is technically a nutritionist, but odds are, very few of the editors for this page are dieticians. Even worse, "Dr." as in [[Take That|"'Dr.' Gillian McKeith"]], usually means a PhD, often from a diploma mill.

* A certain [[Blatant Lies|''healthful'' chocolate cereal]] contains as its first ingredient "Organic, All-Natural Evaporated Cane Juice". Which is basically a really, really fancy and circumlocutory way to say "sugar".

* In the UK there are incredibly stringent guidelines as to what can legally be described as a Meat Sausage, so the cheaper variations (often sold en-mass by catering wholesalers) get around this by using various other phrases to describe the product. Bangers is one popular term used, as it's also a popular British slang term for actual sausages. A documentary by [[The BBC]] a few years ago found that these products are mostly water and grain with very little meat in them (and often said meat is [[Squick|not fit for human consumption).]]

** Nowadays you'd be lucky if you happen to find an actual ''fish'' there. Apparently, good ol' soy protein and enterprising use of additives/flavorings allows to make a crab stick without ''any'' animal matter.

*** Krab, unlike real crab, can be certified kosher-- making it worthwhile for someone who wants to preserve the flavor of what would be a trayf dish.

* In one episode of ''[[Friends]]'', Monica takes a job attempting to create palatable recipes using "Mockolate".

** Which may or may not have been made out of pure, concentrated evil.

* In ''[[Will and Grace]]'' the eponymous pair dine at a restaurant which serves Lobbster stuffed with Cheeeeese.

* One episode of ''[[The Drew Carey Show]]'' had him accidentally buying his girlfriend a box of "beljan chorklet".

* In ''Phoenix Wright: [[Ace Attorney]]: Trials And Tribulations'', there's a scene where Phoenix tries a meal from the restaurant Tres Bien. Maya (temporarily working as a waitress) introduces the meal as some complicatedly-named dish involving lobster. When you discuss the ([[Lethal Chef|horrible]]) meal with the owner and chief cook of the restaurant, and Maya mentions the complicated name, he tells her that there ''is'' no lobster in the dish. He reminds her that the menu clearly states that it's a dish ''inspired by'' [complicated lobster dish], and Phoenix remarks "but it may not contain any actual lobster."

* Apparently averted in the ''[[Fallout]]'' world, where it's common to find "Apples" and "Salisbury Steak" that are still edible after 200 years. ''Fallout Tactics'' lampshades the improbability of accurate labels on pre-war foodstuffs (and at that point, it's a mere 120 years).

 

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