Lite Creme: Difference between revisions

m
no edit summary
mNo edit summary
mNo edit summary
Line 42:
* Also, any sort of "meat byproducts" is generally bad news. By-products means skin, organs and bone meal; feathers and beaks don't make it that far into the process. Your pet is likely to not give two shits, because they like that stuff just as much as muscle tissue—but depending on which wibbly bits it is, it may not be good for their health if they eat nothing but. If it just says "meat" without specifying what animal it comes from, anything goes.
* If the food in question has chemicals in it, but the chemicals were extracted from naturally occurring plants or fruits or what have you, that food can be marketed as "[[All-Natural Snake Oil|All natural]]". If the food contains ''the exact same chemicals'', but the chemicals were built from scratch, it's artificial now. As one food chemist put it, "'All natural' just means 'we did this inefficiently'".
** Sometimes those ''exact same chemicals'' are only members of the ''exact same chemical family'', where even the natural versions have numerous variations. The ''important'' parts of each molecule may be the same, but could a few seemingly minor chemical bonds in unimportant places have unexpected consequences? If it hasn't (yet) been proven harmful, it must be safe... right?
 
Sometimes those ''exact same chemicals'' are only members of the ''exact same chemical family'', where even the natural versions have numerous variations. The ''important'' parts of each molecule may be the same, but could a few seemingly minor chemical bonds in unimportant places have unexpected consequences? If it hasn't (yet) been proven harmful, it must be safe... right?
* "Natural flavors" rarely seems to specify ''which'' flavors. For example, 7-Up currently touts their product as using only natural flavors... and the side of the can also specifies it contains no juice, leading one to wonder exactly what "natural" product is being used to flavor the soda if it's not lime and lemon juice.
* In many cases, there's no citrus juice in a citrus-flavored food item because the citrus oil (which comes from the rind, rather than the flesh) is a more effective flavoring agent. Also, watch word placement—while "natural flavor" denotes a flavor that is natural, "natural lemon flavor", for example, denotes a natural flavor that tastes "like lemons" but may not necessarily have ever ''been'' lemons.
 
* Several members of the mint and sage families have strong citrus components. Along with a history of enhancing lemonades and teas, it's possible that such herbs have been used as nondescript "natural flavors".
In many cases, there's no citrus juice in a citrus-flavored food item because the citrus oil (which comes from the rind, rather than the flesh) is a more effective flavoring agent. Also, watch word placement—while "natural flavor" denotes a flavor that is natural, "natural lemon flavor", for example, denotes a natural flavor that tastes "like lemons" but may not necessarily have ever ''been'' lemons.
 
Several members of the mint and sage families have strong citrus components. Along with a history of enhancing lemonades and teas, it's possible that such herbs have been used as nondescript "natural flavors".
* The flavoring Vanilla is derived from orchids in the genus ''Vanilla'' native to Mexico. It contains a mixture of several hundred different compounds in addition to vanillin. Vanillin is the major flavor that you can taste from Vanilla. However, if you create vanillin through chemical synthesis, it is labeled an artificial flavor.
** By the way, a lot of "artificial" vanilla extract (especially from Mexico, interestingly enough) is actually "extracted" from ''wood'' as a byproduct of paper making. The chemical they're extracting from the wood is the same as one of the chemicals they extract from vanilla orchids, so don't panic. Of course, the real stuff tastes a lot better.
 
** There's also whole, grated vanilla pods, which one might imagine to be ''very'' difficult to synthesize in the lab.
By the way, a lot of "artificial" vanilla extract (especially from Mexico, interestingly enough) is actually "extracted" from ''wood'' as a byproduct of paper making. The chemical they're extracting from the wood is the same as one of the chemicals they extract from vanilla orchids, so don't panic. Of course, the real stuff tastes a lot better.
 
There's also whole, grated vanilla pods, which one might imagine to be ''very'' difficult to synthesize in the lab.
* Another common one is "(X) flavour" as in "chocolate-flavour" or "banana-flavour". Something described as "chocolate flavour" likely contains no actual chocolate and may not taste anything like chocolate at all. It's probably the right colour, though.
** Case in point: "Strawberry" flavor—such as that used in Strawberry Yoo-Hoo—rarely tastes anything like real strawberries. Similarly, "Watermelon Flavor" rarely tastes like real watermelon. And "Peach Flavor"... urgh. The point here is that rather than using real strawberries, the strongest of the thousands of chemicals which give them their flavour—possibly only one or two—are isolated or synthesised to give the flavouring agent.
 
Case in point: "Strawberry" flavor—such as that used in Strawberry Yoo-Hoo—rarely tastes anything like real strawberries. Similarly, "Watermelon Flavor" rarely tastes like real watermelon. And "Peach Flavor"... urgh. The point here is that rather than using real strawberries, the strongest of the thousands of chemicals which give them their flavour—possibly only one or two—are isolated or synthesised to give the flavouring agent.
** That's exactly how it is. More realistic artificial flavorings are complex blends of various chemicals that should be carefully balanced to give a proper representation of the taste and aroma profiles of a real deal. Flavor chemists that create them are not unlike perfume makers, and they should have not only a good chemical knowledge, but also well-trained senses of taste and smell, or employ a specialist tasters. Cheaper flavorings, on the other hand, use one or two chemicals that give something broadly similar to the intended product (sometimes ''[[In Name Only|very broadly]]'') and call it a day. Strawberry flavor is notorious for being a very complex blend of various tastes and aromas and is ''very'' difficult to imitate convincingly, so hardly anyone bothers.
* ''"Bac-Os" are vegan.'' There's nothing in them but vegetable matter and artificial additives. They're supposed to be ''bacon bits!'' If the ingredients list doesn't so much as say "Natural and artificial flavors". There is something disturbing about an imitation meat product that wasn't made for the specific purpose of being an imitation meat product.
** [http://www.baconsalt.com/ Bacon Salt] actually boasts that it's kosher and vegetarian. The packet for Chicken, Bacon and similar varieties of 'Super Noodles' (isn't that a name that just ''inspires'' confidence?) used to quite ''prominently'' display that they were "suitable for vegetarians". Quite skewed advertising priorities there. There are types of ''cream cheese frosting'' that are vegan. And "creme" cookies.
 
** Oreos are vegan. The creme is palm oil.
[http://www.baconsalt.com/ Bacon Salt] actually boasts that it's kosher and vegetarian. The packet for Chicken, Bacon and similar varieties of 'Super Noodles' (isn't that a name that just ''inspires'' confidence?) used to quite ''prominently'' display that they were "suitable for vegetarians". Quite skewed advertising priorities there. There are types of ''cream cheese frosting'' that are vegan. And "creme" cookies.
 
Oreos are vegan. The creme is palm oil.
* Long John Silver's, a fast food seafood restaurant, advertises that they serve langostino lobster, another term for squat lobster, a species closer to ''hermit crabs'' than what we would think of as lobsters.
** This is pretty common in marketing sea food. When it was discovered that the evil-sounding Patagonian Toothfish could be profitably raised in fish farms, its name got transmogrified into "Chilean sea bass" on the way to the grocery store, and "dolphinfish" became "mahi mahi".
Line 68 ⟶ 60:
* In New York, wine can only be sold in dedicated liquor stores. Grocery stores can sell beverages that are up to 6% alcohol by volume, including beer, hard cider, and "wine products." Please don't confuse Chateau Diana Wine Product for actual wine.
* In Canada, buying "maple butter" is definitely better than buying "map-o-spread". Speaking of maple products, be careful when buying maple syrup in the US. "Real Maple Syrup" is not. "Maple Syrup", by contrast, is. And "Natural Maple Syrup" is just a bad idea. If you don't want to worry about it (and who does?), just get corn syrup. But not "Corn-Flavored Syrup", which is neither corn syrup, nor delicious.
** Look for the USDA sticker and classification in the US. If it says Grade A/B Light/Medium/Dark Amber, it's good. (But if you're really particular, pay close attention to the label. Dark Amber has a much stronger maple flavor than Light Amber.)
 
** Not surprisingly, the Canadian government has an entire sub-department dedicated to ensuring the purity and quality of Canadian-produced maple syrup. Any hint of a company selling ersatz maple syrup will bring the wrath of God (or at least the Department of Agriculture - sometimes they're hard to tell apart) down on someone's sorry head. This troper has never seen ''anything'' as fierce as when an American company tried to market its maple-flavoured dreck as "pure maple". The government literally smashed the bottles out in the street in front of the warehouse as if they were Carrie Nation taking it to barrels of Prohibition hooch. Entertaining but weird.
Look for the USDA sticker and classification in the US. If it says Grade A/B Light/Medium/Dark Amber, it's good. (But if you're really particular, pay close attention to the label. Dark Amber has a much stronger maple flavor than Light Amber.)
 
Not surprisingly, the Canadian government has an entire sub-department dedicated to ensuring the purity and quality of Canadian-produced maple syrup. Any hint of a company selling ersatz maple syrup will bring the wrath of God (or at least the Department of Agriculture - sometimes they're hard to tell apart) down on someone's sorry head. This troper has never seen ''anything'' as fierce as when an American company tried to market its maple-flavoured dreck as "pure maple". The government literally smashed the bottles out in the street in front of the warehouse as if they were Carrie Nation taking it to barrels of Prohibition hooch. Entertaining but weird.
* In Mexico, you can find a fried taco-like snack where one of the flavors is not "guacamole", but "''huakamolez''". The description reads something like "Huakamolez-flavored rolled fried corn snacks." Mmmm ... Whack-A-Mole flavor. For some reason, in the Netherlands, it's really hard to find guacamole that has more than a few percent of actual avocados.
** The reason is very simple. Avocados don't keep that well, so they're usually hellishly expensive outside of Mexico (or their other producer for that matter).
** This troper can attest to that. When some enterprising souls discovered that a particular coastal region of Spain (the "Tropical coast" of the province of Granada) has just the perfect climate to grow some tropical fruits, avocados (which used to be "exotic fruit nobody you know has ever tasted") turned overnight into "everyday salad ingredient".
* If you're looking for fruit juice from something other than apples, grapes, pineapples, or oranges, it's very improbable you'll find it. Instead, you're likely to see things such as "apricot nectar," "pear cocktail," "lemon drink," "blueberry punch," and "cherry blend." All of these will probably consist of as little of the top-billed ingredient as legally possible (usually in the form of pulp,) large amounts of filler juices (usually apple or white grape), lots of water, and sugar or other sweetener.
** Some of this is justifiable, because not all juices are good to drink. It's not hard to find lemon or lime juice, but they are ingredients, not beverages. And cranberry juice is unpalatable by itself. A lot of unsweetened juices from the more exotic fruits (meaning basically anything—not apples, grapes, oranges, or pineapples) do serve as a non-alcoholic alternative to wine, as their taste can be similar enough for the (presumed) intended purpose.
 
Some of this is justifiable, because not all juices are good to drink. It's not hard to find lemon or lime juice, but they are ingredients, not beverages. And cranberry juice is unpalatable by itself. A lot of unsweetened juices from the more exotic fruits (meaning basically anything—not apples, grapes, oranges, or pineapples) do serve as a non-alcoholic alternative to wine, as their taste can be similar enough for the (presumed) intended purpose.
** Ironically with some of these juices, the higher-quality ones have significant amounts of cane sugar while the "100% Juice [flavor of] Cranberry" only taste like their filler juices.
* Boneless chicken nuggets with hot sauce on them tend to be called "wyngs" or "wingz."