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* One of Booth's security guards, confronted for the second time by Machete wielding a [[Improvised Weapon|weaponized weedwhacker]], immediately says "I quit," hands his gun to Machete, and walks away. Possibly he is the [[Genre Savvy|smartest]] [[Mook]] in the history of fiction.
** This is after that Mook, alongside a more cluelees Mook, allowed Machete to visit Booth's home earlier in the movie:
{{quote|
'''Machete''' (holding up a mean pick axe and weedwhacker): New gardener. }}
* Pretty much everything Cheech Marin says as Padre.
{{quote|
'''Machete''': I'm not looking for safe.
'''Padre''': No, I mean it's not safe for ''me'' for you to be here!
'''Padre''': (Makes the Sign of the Cross) I absolve you of all your sins. (gestures to the door) Now get the [[Precision F-Strike|FUCK]] out! }}
* Machete [[Memetic Mutation|don't text]].
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