Marvel Universe/Funny: Difference between revisions

 

* [[Genre Savvy|Doc Samson]], in discussion with General Ross:

'''Ross:''' And if America's enemies get hold of him?<br />

'''Samson:''' [[Deadpan Snarker|Send condolence cards to America's enemies]]. }}

* Mr. Immortal of the [[Great Lakes Avengers]] explaining how he found out about the villain's plan.

** Even funnier, before the line we see the 'beat down', which consists of Mr. I punching the now squirrel-sized Deathurge...from our perspective, he's punching the air while something goes "SQUEAK!"

* Pete Wisdom in a wheelchair and a bald cap in ''[[Excalibur (Comic Book)|Excalibur]]'' #94: "To me, my X-Men! I sense danger! [[Star Trek: The Next Generation|Make it so!]] [[I Need a Freaking Drink|Somebody get me a drink!]]" Made [[Reverse Funny Aneurysm|even funnier]] when you consider that it was published four years before Patrick Stewart played Professor Xavier in the X-Men films.

** Added: Proving to the B.A.D. Girls that he did not have that one [[Ho Yay]] moment with Cable by dropping his pants in front of the girls, completely forgetting he was wearing his Silver Age Jean Grey girl panties at that time.

** [[Deadpool]], upon [http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wkKt_mUc7Ug/SYp9NQK_VDI/AAAAAAAAGgc/Qjt2C1RkTkU/s1600-h/BlackTalon.jpg seeing Black Talon's costume] for the first time.

'''Black Talon:''' "Kill him." }}

** When Deadpool turns detective in "A Murder In Paradise": "My name's Wade Wilson. I'm a dick."

*** "Say it! SAY IT!" "GET YOUR MEATHOOKS OFFA ME!"

** What, no love for Deadpool getting sent back to the [[Silver Age]] Spider-Man universe?

'''Deadpool:''' Are you having a ''stroke''? Speak English! }}

** Issue 13 of his latest series has him agreeing to rid a resort island of pirates (which he himself was trying to be) if the woman he was talking to [[One Piece|would become his navigator]] in the most blatant Western Comic reference to [[Manga]] I have ever seen, made all the more hilarious by the fact that she's blind, and that Wade knows she is. (admittedly, she had already shown that she knew how to navigate the island better than anyone). What follows makes the next issue one continuous [[Crowning Moment of Funny]].

*** This identity crisis is brought on after {{spoiler|Norman Osborn gave Wade a lot of money because Wade felt he should be rewarded with the money he would have gotten from Nick Fury if Osborn hadn't intercepted the data. Which he then used to become a hero to the world by ending the Skrull invasion}}. Without the constant mercenary work and need for money to distract him from his own thoughts, Wade had some time to philosophize.

** Similar to the [[One Piece]] shout out above, in his team-up with Iron Fist, Deadpool makes an even more blatant anime/manga reference. As the villain and his ninja mooks surround him.

'''bystander:''' Does anything he says ever make any sense? }}

** Deadpool Team-Up #890; Three Words: Rabid Hamster Gun.

* During Marvel's Civil War, after [[Captain America]] gives a heartfelt and [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|awesome]] speech about doing the right thing no matter what, a reassured [[Spider-Man]] says, "Can I like, carry your books to school? For the rest of my life? I mean it. I can give you my lunch. My aunt made tuna sandwiches. Again." The [[Mood Whiplash]] isn't overstated.

* From ''Avengers: The Initiative'':

'''[[Iron Man|Tony]]''': Thanks. I've got a smaller one for taking out Ant-Man. }}

** Also Cloud9's summing up of the KIA storyline, and War Machine's reaction.

* From ''[[Marvel Civil War]]: Fallen Son'', with Wolverine on his way to "visit" Crossbones, who was involved in [[Captain America]]'s death:

'''Wolverine''': Is that what they're calling 'em these days? }}

* The entirety of the Avengers Christmas Special--specifically the part where Santa Claus {{spoiler|who is actually Ultron}} crashes the party, paralyzes the Avengers, and is only defeated when {{spoiler|his Santa programming compels him to eat a cookie containing explosives.}}

** Daredevil: "Could you please not sit on my head."

* From the ''Ultimate Galactus'' trilogy, after Thor has just promised to buy Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm beer:

'''Thor''': Well, I wanted a keg... }}

** From the same trilogy, there's also Sue Storm ''viciously'' shooting Tony Stark down when he hits on her. While still in the [[Iron Man]] armour.

'''Tony, slumped in disappointment:''' ...I'm going now. }}

* SO MUCH from the [[Marvel Adventures]] line.

** [[Captain America]] and [[Iron Man]] taking out phone spammers while the rest of the Avengers are stuck at a state fair.

** Goom. Plain and simple. There is no explanation that will do it justice, but Goom is a stories-tall alien imprisoned in a pocket dimension, whom Johnny Storm accidentally lets out. As he and Spidey discover, much to their dismay and the readers' amusement, Goom learned all of his English from watching MTV and Jerry Springer (also Johnny's fault).

'''Spidey:''' "...This is messed up." }}

** "Well, that's an all new 'everything goes wrong' speed record!"

** The rules of the Ancient One's incredibly ''insane'' (and awesome!) contract to deal with the demon Dormammu. Namely, the one about having to return to Earth as a rodent, which causes Strange and Wong to have to chase down a demonically powered ''squirrel'' that keeps attacking them.

** This exchange from ''Marvel Adventures Avengers'':

"Yeah. Good surprises are like 'Hey! Your puppy is made of diamonds!' But nobody wants a bad surprise like - Hey! That T-Rex is about to gobble you up!" }}

** Captain America putting Wolverine in as leader of the Avengers when they fight the horde that's come to ransack the village they were brought to save, ''specifically'' because brute force, not tactics, are what's needed. What makes it classic is Logan's reaction.

** The entire Issue #12. After taking care of some geological catastrophes, The Avengers discover why; Earth is being disturbed by a living, sapient planet who wants to get it on with Earth. After trying all the basic male hook up lines, he leaves after finding out that Earth has people in it, or in his mind, <s>crabs</s> cooties.

** Even funnier was Giant Girl's reaction when Iron Man's scans confirm that Ego the Living Planet was formed at least a billion years before Earth.

** Everyone assuming that because Tigra looks like a cat, she can control cats in the time traveling issue.

** Spidey accidentally blowing his secret identity in front of Captain Stacey (Gwen's dad, who's already made a guess at who he is).

"Huh? Gwen? Why? She's really smart with- ...Oh." }}

*** Also from MA: Spider-Man is this bit, which is possibly even more hilarious than Tigra's nonexistent power over cats:

** In MA: Spider-Man when Venom first offered to aid Spider-Man under his Lethal Protector persona.

'''Spider-Man:''' NO... Not my Pixie Stix!! }}

*** Venom's dialogue as Spider-Man's sidekick. "Holy themed thieveries, S.M.!"

'''Spider-Man:''' Seriously. Stop or I'll hit you. }}

*** Really, Venom had quite a few funny moments that issue.

** From'' 'The Creeping Doom'' ', where [[Iron Man]] and Pepper are in a burning warehouse filled with laptop batteries. Laptop batteries which were defective, and stated earlier to ''explode from overheating''.

*''Cue next frame of them running away from an explosion''* }}

** Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes V2 #6, after Thor describes how he effortlessly defeated the Executioner in a [[Curb Stomp Battle]] and saved an entire village from a marauding band of pirates, Nova and the Invisible Woman privately express doubts on this story.

'''Invisible Woman''': Well... when you were explaining how you were summoning octo-dragons and riding a unicorn... }}

** From Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #7

'''Black Widow''': Well, as you are a shiny moving object, you should appeal to the types of women you adore. }}

** From the very beginning of Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes V2 #8

'''Nova''': This day sucks. }}

* Every ''[[Mini Marvels|Mini-Marvel]]'' strip: "That was a haiku, chumps!"

** The panel after that line. Especially since the reader was probably doing the exact same thing. (Counting the syllables on their fingers, that is).

*** Special mention for the one where Super-Skrull lands in New York and tries to find the Fantastic Four.

'''Super-Skrull''': Does anybody know where the Fantastic Four live? }}

**** Kl'lrt is adorable in Mini-Marvels.

(an entire page's worth of sitting in the dark later) '''Super-Skrull''': "I DON'T LIKE THIS!" }}

** Also the Mini-Marvels' predecessors, [http://www.chrisgcomics.com/bpb.html Bullpen Bits]:

'''Beast'''': Ah, it's just, um, simple...um...bio-''clothical'' engineering. }}

** Another Bullpen Bits strip, with [[Silver Surfer]] trying to talk Thanos out of destroying the universe:

'''Silver Surfer''' "You just ''destroyed'' the ''universe''! There ''are'' no shoes!" }}

** And the saga of Johnny quitting the Fantastic Four... because they don't like that he refuses to turn his flame powers off. More particularly, the reaction of the other members to this:

'''Reed''': We'll get through this wretched increase in our quality of life ''together'', Ben. As a ''team''. }}

** It gets even better when he tries to join the Avengers, only for Wolverine and Spider-Man to continue the barrage of insults. Then as Johnny gets tired of the abuse and leaves, we get this gem:

** "[[Spider-Man (Comic Book)|Spider Man]] remask! We don't know who he is anymore!"

** The Mini-Marvel take on Planet Hulk ends with all the <s>[[My Name Is Not Durwood|Illuminators]]</s> Illuminati panicking at Hulk's return to Earth...except Namor, who's calmly relaxing on a chair saying "[[Somebody Else's Problem|I live underwater.]]"

** A good deal from "Welcome Back Thor".

'''Skrull Hank''': But I'm not! }}

** '''Tony''': "Well that's just great. The army was pretty much useless here. Way to go, useless army! You are of no use to anyone here, now that the hammer is gone, so you might as well take your uselessness home!" (Thor returns in a crack of lightning) "Hey! Very useful army! Where are you going?"

* In ''[[World War Hulk]]: X-Men'', [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|as the title implies, the X-Men are fighting the Hulk]]. When Darwin steps up, the X-Men obviously hope his power [[Adaptive Ability|to "evolve" a way to survive any given situation]] will produce a way to beat the Hulk. Instead, it teleports him to the next state.

** There's also Hulk's response to Monet describing herself as "practically invulnerable."

* J. Jonah Jameson's reaction when Spider-Man unmasks himself as Peter Parker in the second issue of Civil War. Well, technically it's his lack of reaction - he appears to have a heart attack.

* It's such a horrible situation, what with [[Marvel Zombies|Zombie Hawkeye]] being batshit insane because his bodiless head was trapped alone under rubble for decades, but the part where he attempts to take out Zombie Giant-Man is ''hilarious'' anyway.

'''Hawkeye:''' "...Be my friend?" }}

* In ''X-Men Noir'', Police Chief Magnus taunts Black Tom Cassidy with threats of killing him so he'll go to "Irish Hell." "You wouldn't like Irish Hell, Blackie. There's no whiskey and the women hit back."

** On the ''very second page'' of that series, there's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it shot of Pietro pouting when his partner plops a hat on his head. He manages to look about eight years old.

* [[She Hulk|She-Hulk's]] rematch with Sentry after he interrupts her fight with Lyra, starting with her screeching up in a cab (and paying the driver 40 bucks) to lay him flat after getting tossed into the next state.

** Set up masterfully in the prior issue, where Sentry flies in at the end and basically Team Rockets She-Hulk.

* ''[[Excalibur (Comic Book)|Captain Britain]]:'' During a fight with one of his [[The Multiverse|many alternative selves]], Captain Britain ends up having ''this'' conversation:

'''Captain Britain:''' [[Lampshade Hanging|Do you ever get halfway through a sentence and find yourself unable to believe that you're actually saying it?]]<br />

(Captain England hammers him in the face with his staff.)<br />

'''Captain England:''' No. }}

** Another fight scene occurs in a comic book store, and the owner's reaction to a ''real'' superhero duking it out on the premises is absolutely hilarious.

([[Destination Defenestration|SKRESH!]])<br />

'''Owner:''' Oh. Oh well. Never mind. "Cover slightly worn. Reduced to clear..." }}

** Fresh from remaking the world in his own twisted image, [[Reality Warper|Mad Jim Jaspers]] introduces himself to his new friends in the Crazy Gang in front of a giant billboard of himself.

'''Mad Jim Jaspers:''' Well, I don't remember making '''that!''' }}

* [[The Mighty Thor|Thor]] vs. [[Incredible Hercules|Hercules]]? Amusing, but been done. While dressed as each other for complicated plot reasons? ''Hilarious.'' And resorting to playground attacks like purple nurples, [[Groin Attack|groin attacks]], and ''wedgies''? ''[http://asylums.insanejournal.com/scans_daily/1095488.html PRICELESS.]''

** That entire arc was brilliant! We have:

*** Hercules is disguised as Thor, and has to sneak into the Kingdom of the Dark Elves and prove himself worthy. He comes across a complicated chess set, for which he has to win to prove that he has wits. Hercules' response? Knock it over.

'''Queen's Advisor:''' But... that wasn't unwinnable... all he had to do was- }}

*** "No one else has mastered the Elven Tickler so fast."

* Thor and Amadeus Cho, attempting to rescue Hercules from another dimension, end up fighting the Egyptian goddess Sekhmet. Cho draws on a knowledge of Egyptian mythology to intoxicate her and turn her into an aspect of Hathor ([[wikipedia:Sekhmet#Festivals and evolution|yes, Hathor]]), a goddess of love. And lolcats. [http://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/2152242.html I'm not making this up, you know.]

'''Thor:''' I saw it on the [[YouTube]]. }}

* A Thor moment from an issue of The Avengers:

'''Thor''': "NAY!" *Hammer to the face. }}

* [[Red Hulk]] has been a source of these pretty much since Loeb stopped writing the series, as all the characters he beat up previously get their own back, including Iron Man and [http://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/2574646.html this wonderful confrontation with Thor]. Thor's exchange with Bruce Banner is just the cherry on top.

* In ''[[Iron Man]]'' issue 44, [[War Machine (Comic Book)|Rhodey]] had visited Tony who had given away his fortune and his company to lead a normal life in a small apartment. Then, there was a beep and Tony unleashed a massive computer lab right in his apartment.

'''Rhodey''': Tony, my friend, if this is your idea of slumming... }}

* In "The Punisher: Welcome Back, Frank," after Frank drags himself back to his apartment to just sort of lie there and bleed, his weirdo neighbors tell him that they plan to nurse him back to health. Cue a look of abject horror on Frank's face coupled with just about the flattest [[Flat What|What?]] in all comics.

* ''She-Hulk'' #9: It is announced that Jen has wedded Col. John Jameson in a quick Las Vegas ceremony presided over by, what else, an Elvis impersonator. The next page? A glorious '''nine [[Spit Take|spit takes]]''' from their assorted friends and family.

* In [[Avengers Academy]] #22, the X-Men visit the campus. Cyclops raises concerns over a re-programmed Sentinel that one of the students uses.

*Sentinel's owner [[Percussive Maintenance|hits it]]*<br />

Sentinel: Welcome honored guests. }}

* In ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' issue 17, when Maximus reveals that Groot's apparent form of [[Pokémon-Speak]] actually translates to an incredibly intricate understanding of quasi-dimensional superpositional engineering. As the two converse, Crystal and Rocket Raccoon only stare in shock as they ponder if Maximus has gone insane.

'''Maximus:''' Now that is brilliant, and all we'd need is a socket set and a very long piece of string. }}

** Earlier from the same issue:

'''Rocket Raccoon:''' That sentence combined so many of my least favorite words. }}

** In #19, as half the team is stuck in an alternate timeline, another temporal distortion appears, leading to this:

'''Bug:''' Yeah? Full of Time-Energy? and Time-Swirlies? Jack, just because you put the word "time" in it doesn't - [[Verbal Tic|tik]] - make it any clearer! }}

** The first issue where Rocket Raccoon continues suggesting team names for their newly formed team. Keep in mind, this conversation occurs while the Guardians are in the heat of battle.

'''Drax the Destroyer''': How about "Drax and His Coonskin Hat?" That grab you? }}

*** And eventually when encountering the classic Guardians of the Galaxy, Star-Lord decides to make up another temporary name for his team to avoid problems or confusion with the other Guardians. The name he picks: Ass-Kickers of the Fantastic.

* In the Rocket Raccoon and Groot mini-series coinciding with the Annihilators: Earthfall event, as Rocket and Groot are flung through a rapidly changing virtual reality environment in the Mojoverse, Mojo soon finds Rocket Raccoon's sentient Timely Inc. shipment processing and analysis device pointing a laser rifle at his face.

* Dan Slott's run on She-Hulk was nothing short of amazing, but what really got this troper was She-Hulk's boyfriend commenting on how stupid the metals the Avengers use are (referring to Adamantium). Jarvis then comes out with a saucepan on his head...

* Captain Marvel V3 #4 has an unforgettable scene with [[Names To Run Away From Real Fast|Drax the Destroyer]] attempting to purchase mint cookies from a girl scout.

* [http://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/2152819.html Delphyne the Gorgon's] [[Lock and Load Montage]], especially at the end:

}}