Masochist's Meal: Difference between revisions

'''Frank''': Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. }}

 

 

The food equivalent of a [[Gargle Blaster]], often prepared by a [[Lethal Chef]]. Can overlap with [[Foreign Queasine]] and [[Eat That]]. See also [[Fire-Breathing Diner]], [[Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce]], and [[I Ate What?]]

 

=== [[Newspaper Comics]] ===

** They've actually done two variations on this. In one, Jason and Peter play a ''[[Name That Tune]]''-esque game ("I can eat this taco with five squirts of hot sauce); in another, Peter does it to himself ("Who wants to see me eat this taco with ''eight'' squirts of hot sauce?!") as Paige and Jason look on, wryly remarking "Ah, the tears of a clown..."

** One strip has both Peter and Jason loading up on Tabasco after both have been to the dentist. [[Fridge Logic|One wonders about what will happen when the novocaine wears off.]]

 

== Other Dodgy Foods in [[Real Life]] ==

** Fugu is supposed to have a narcotic effect. Apparently it's good enough to be worth the risk of waking up in your own grave (the active ingredient is a key component in the zombification process - really, no kidding). What some people will go through just to catch a buzz.

** A famous Japanese actor once killed himself after eating four Fugu livers on a dare. (The Liver is the most poisonous part of the fish)

* There is a specialty restaurant in New York where people pay through the nose to eat such things as deep-fried tarantula.

** You can also roast them, apparently, together with other delicious creatures, like cockroaches and centipedes among others...

* Spartans ate [[wikipedia:Black soup|Black Soup]]. It was made of pig's blood and vinegar. There was an emulsifier in it to stop the blood coagulating. The Romans meanwhile ate the less disgusting but equally challenging Nettle soup.

** Blood-based soups and sausages exist in many cultures around the world. Of course, they usually have a few more ingredients besides just blood and vinegar, so it's a little easier to choke down.

* [[wikipedia:Casu marzu|Casu Marzu]], a Sardinian delicacy. The cheese gets its unique flavour and odour from the live insect larvae that inhabit it, but you have to be careful when eating it because said larvae are known to [[Body Horror|jump into the eyes of diners or live on in their intestines as parasites.]]

* It's almost impossible to get real kefir, a liquid dairy product, in the United States, as it contains so many (harmless) strains of living bacteria, fungi and protozoa that it's considered "contaminated" by FDA standards, even fresh from the vat. Genuine kefir is ''so'' alive that the lumpy curds it's derived from not only grow larger inside those vats, but actually split in two as they grow, as if the lumps themselves are reproducing microorganisms.

* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XsqLXCsen0 This infoMania Viral Video Film School]. [[Don't Try This At Home|Please don't become one of these people.]]

** Actually, the girl who ate the light bulb seems to be a fun person to hang out with.

* Hardtack. An incredibly dense and hard form of bread, valued more for the fact that it will never go bad if kept dry than for its edibility. The standard Civil War solution to consuming it was to whack it against a hard surface to knock ''most'' of the weevils out, then soaking it in your cup of coffee to soften it up enough to chew. Still consumed in a few places a long way away from regular resupply.

** Like the "British Food" example above hardtack isn't so much ''bad'' as it is ''bland.'' Think of a biscuit or cookie made out of unsalted hard pretzel dough and you'll have an idea of what it tastes like.

** There is also Surströmming, which is herring that has fermented. Sold in tins that usually bend and warp from gases released during the process. A polarising delicacy, as you either love it or try to avoid it like the plague (quite literally, as a single tin can stink up a whole building). Unexpecting non-natives have been known to try to alert authorities about biohazards when presented with the dish for the first time.

* Everything from ''[http://home.comcast.net/~ccdesan/Banquet/Banquet.html The Old Wolf's Banquet from Hell]'', from a certain point of view.

* Tadashi of ''[[Onidere]]'' is one of two people able to eat [[Lethal Chef|Saya's]] cooking. Every time someone tries it, there is a flashback to the worst pain they have ever endured, and then a multiplier. For Tadashi it was ''30 times worse than stubbing his little toe as a child''. That was the first bite. The [[Gargle Blaster|tea]] served afterwards? ''Five times worse than 'the entire meal'''.

* In ''[[Axis Powers Hetalia]]'', anything that England cooks is this, due to his preparation. The only character who can eat his food without suffering is America, since he grew up eating his food (he doesn't like it, however). Finland's food is also this, due to the ingredients such as salmiakki, and even his dog describes it as "poison".

** Again, when Ukyou was sick and Ranma, Akane, and Konatsu volunteered to tend to her restaurant, Akane's okonomiyaki [[Lethal Chef|were so gruesome]] no one would eat them. Ranma is then inspired to hold a similar contest, with a prize going to whoever could finish their whole meal. Akane [[Berserk Button|was not amused]].

** And ''also'' related to [[Lethal Chef|Akane]]: after a whole saga involving her trying to get Ranma to eat her [[Cordon Bleugh Chef|home-made cookies]], he finally takes them just to make her happy. He spends the next week bedridden. The several dozen incriminating photographs he had [[Eat the Evidence|disposed of]] earlier probably didn't help.

'''Mad:''' "Ah, you're a man who knows your breads." }}

** Apart from dwarf bread, dwarf cuisine consists of "what the dwarfs found underground -- rats, snails, worms (useful protein), bits of stone and so on". Dwarfs are famed for their sauces, since no-one would eat rat without something to hide the taste. In Ankh-Morpork, "fusion" cusine aimed at humans is designed to ''look'' a bit like actual dwarf cookery, while being in a very real sense nothing like it.

** This shows up again in ''[[Discworld/Interesting Times|Interesting Times]]'', being used by the [[Evil Chancellor]].

** Further ''[[Discworld]]'' example: CMOT Dibbler's sausage-inna-bun. It's possible that the books exaggerate, but they're described as the culinary equivalent of a B-movie: [[So Bad It's Good|they're absolutely awful, yet somehow appealing.]]

** And yet another: Sam Vimes is the first man to be brave enough to refuse to eat the "tribal delicacies" of the D'hregs, guessing that the D'hregs are having him on and that nobody could eat that rubbish. {{spoiler|He's right.}}

** Although it's doubtful that he actually intended to ''digest'' the thing, a performer in ''[[Discworld/Maskerade|Maskerade]]'' is seen applying mustard to a blade in preparation for his sword-swallowing stage act.

** In ''A Hat Full Of Sky'', one of the flashbacks Tiffany experiences from a past victim of the Hiver is that of a long-ago desert queen who'd poisoned her enemies. Emerging from the memory-flash, the young witch groggily murmurs about a scorpion sandwich.

* ''All'' of Pervian food in Robert Asprin's ''[[Myth Adventures]]''. As Aahz once put it: "The biggest problem with Pervian food is to keep it from crawling away from your dish while you are eating it..." And it stinks.

** Gleep the baby dragon is sometimes seen swallowing unidentified things he's found in gutters or basements. Usually Skeeve is glad ''not'' to have a clue what they are, as the number of legs sticking out between his pet's jaws is disturbing enough.

* Moonglow in the ''[[Star Wars]]'' universe is not unpleasant to eat (the description makes it sound rather like an Asian pear), but requires a ninety-seven step process carried out by a trained chef to make it safely edible.

* In ''[[Bridge of Birds]],'' improperly prepared porcupine meat - and when we say improper, we mean such as ''cutting the meat into pieces of the wrong shape'' - will kill you in a [[Nightmare Fuel|horrible way that we won't even go into here.]]

 

=== [[Live Action TV]] ===

** The dog died because the dish was poisoned on purpose, not because it was improperly prepared. But that wasn't why Picard refused to eat it. It's just that after all the other vile pieces of 'gourmet cuisine' he had consumed over the course of that wedding feast, he just couldn't bring himself to swallow something that smelled like a Klingon locker room.

** In ''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine|Deep Space Nine]]'', Ezri implies that you're supposed to eat it whole, and alive.

** In another ''[[Star Trek: The Next Generation]]'' novel, Riker becomes violently ill from having lunch with Worf and accidentally eating some Klingon foods that are indigestible to humans. His reaction after being treated? "Bring on the next course."

** But... they're Delicious...

* ''[[Kingdom of Loathing]]'' has all kinds of unpleasant foods, like [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Brain-meltingly-hot_chicken_wings brain-meltingly-hot chicken wings] or [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Centipede_eggs centipede eggs], which inflict damage, substat-loss, or a negative status effect if you eat them. [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Dwarf_bread Dwarf bread] is included as a shout-out to the Discworld example above, and although you have the option of eating it, you can also throw it at enemies to stun them. However, special mention goes to [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Black_pudding_(food) black pudding], which is described thusly: "This is either a sausage made of congealed animal blood, or an acidic underground-dwelling scavenging ooze. Either way, mmmm-yummy." Sure enough, if you try to eat it, it has a 35% chance of ''attacking you''. There's actually a trophy you can earn for defeating 240 of them in combat... which takes about ''three straight months'' (real-world time) of stuffing your face with black pudding ''every day''.

** Another special mention must go to [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/World%27s_most_unappetizing_beverage World's most unappetizing beverage], which is... [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|you know]].<ref>It consists of hair dissolved in depilatory cream.</ref>

* In ''[[Jade Empire]]'' you can meet Chai Jin, an exotic chef. The dishes are revolting and downright damaging - depending on what you choose you'll hurt your body, mind or spirit - but if you sit through three courses of escalating grief to your system, you won't have to pay. You can then also try his newest meal, which is so horrid he won't even describe it, and which he hasn't even tried himself yet. If you survive the thoroughly harrowing cuisine, you can either warn him of its danger or tell him it's delicious. If you choose the latter, he will sample the food and ''drop dead''.

[[Category:Food Tropes]]

[[Category:Masochist's Meal]]