Meatgrinder Surgery: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}}
[[File:
'''Medic''': ''"[[Herr Doctor|Vell]], no. But as long as you are, [[Crosses the Line Twice|could you hold your rib cage open a bit?]] I can't... seem to..."''
'''Medic''': ''"Oh, don't be such a baby... [[Healing Factor|ribs grow back!]]"
|''[[Team Fortress 2]]'', [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v{{=}}36lSzUMBJnc "Meet the Medic"]}}
Surgeries are dangerous and delicate things. There's a reason why "[[This
▲{{quote|'''Heavy''': ''"[[Lampshade Hanging|Should I be awake for this?]]"''<br />
▲'''Medic''': ''"[[Herr Doctor|Vell]], no. But as long as you are, [[Crosses the Line Twice|could you hold your rib cage open a bit?]] I can't... seem to..."''<br />
▲'''Heavy''': ''[[Worst Aid|[Screams]]]''<br />
▲'''Medic''': ''"Oh, don't be such a baby... [[Healing Factor|ribs grow back!]]" {{[[[Two Faced Aside]] to pet dove}}] "No zey don't.''"|''[[Team Fortress 2 (Video Game)|Team Fortress 2]]'', [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36lSzUMBJnc "Meet the Medic"]}}
▲Surgeries are dangerous and delicate things. There's a reason why "[[This Aint Rocket Surgery|brain surgeon]]" is slang for "genius"- they have to spend hours carefully maneuvering minute instruments and any mistake can cost their patient's life [[Fate Worse Than Death|or worse]].
Naturally, expect this aspect of medicine to be thrown away in the name of [[Rule of Funny|comedy]]: the nurse will give the surgeon a [[Drop the Hammer|hammer]] and he'll immediately proceed to whack away violently, then an [[An Axe to Grind|axe]] and proceed to hack away, then a [[This Is a Drill|drill]], then a [[Chainsaw Good|chainsaw]], then [[Noodle Implements|an eggbeater]], then...
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More rarely, this ''can'' also be [[Played for Drama]]. The trope might be justified if the surgery takes place before the 20th century, for instance, or under field conditions (see Real Life). Whatever the reason, it's never pretty-- ''pray'' they'll go for a [[Discretion Shot]].
{{examples
== [[Anime]] and [[Manga]] ==
* In ''[[
== [[Fan
* ''[https://www.wattpad.com/story/186178291-spice-fortress Spice Fortress]'' has Melanie The Fighter subjected to this while awake and seems chilled. [[Sarcasm Mode| At least, she paid her taxes.]]
== [[Film]] ==▼
▲* In ''[[Afro Samurai (Anime)|Afro Samurai]]'', when {{spoiler|Jinno is turned into a cyborg}}. This might qualify as [[Black Comedy]], or the cartoonish nature of the scene might make it worse.
* ''[[Monty
== Board Games ==▼
* The board game ''Operation'', naturally. The game's implication is made obvious during commercials.▼
** Don't be absurd. [[Video Game Cruelty Punishment|If you do it badly, you lose the game.]]▼
** Players who are already losing anyway will take their frustration out on the patient, who's already screaming anyway.▼
▲== Film ==
▲* ''[[Monty Pythons the Meaning of Life]]'' features two "surgeons" forcibly harvesting organs from a man just because he's got an organ donor card. Mostly offscreen but obviously [[Meatgrinder Surgery]].
▲{{quote| '''Man:''' "Mr Jones? We've come for you liver."<br />
'''Mr. Jones:''' "But I'm using it right now." }}
* This trope is common in ''[[The Three Stooges]]'' shorts, especially the hammer anesthetic.
== [[Literature]] ==
* Standard medical practice in ''[[Discworld]]''{{'}}s Ankh-Morpork is hitting the patient over the head with a hammer. The only real doctor in the city (Dr. Lawn from ''[[
** Ankh-Morpork is also the home of the the delightful new form of medicine known as [https://web.archive.org/web/20091129011413/http://wiki.lspace.org/wiki/Retrophrenology "retrophrenology"]▼
▲* Standard medical practice in ''[[Discworld]]'''s Ankh-Morpork is hitting the patient over the head with a hammer. The only real doctor in the city (Dr. Lawn from ''[[Discworld (Literature)/Night Watch|Night Watch]]'') is seen as crazy for worrying about things like sanitation, sterilization, and the survival of his patients. One of the reasons that, prior to [[Discworld (Literature)/Night Watch|Night Watch]], the most employed physician in the city was Doughnut Jimmy, a horse vet. After all, a good racehorse is expensive and a big earner, so Jimmy could choose between keeping his patients alive or waking up in a bag on the Ankh.
* Eric Flint's book ''1812: The Rivers of War'' provides an excellent example of this, which was [[Truth in Television]] at the time. The patient
▲** Ankh-Morpork is also the home of the the delightful new form of medicine known as [http://wiki.lspace.org/wiki/Retrophrenology "retrophrenology"]
▲* Eric Flint's book ''1812: The Rivers of War'' provides an excellent example of this, which was [[Truth in Television]] at the time. The patient denies the issued anaestetic, which is raw Navy rum (he has a bottle of emergency laudanum packed away, which he uses), but he knows that refusing the anaesthetic the surgeon tried to give him would be good for his reputation regardless. Also, a quote:
▲{{quote| "Few lumberjacks wielded a saw as vigorously as an Army surgeon after a major battle."}}
* The ''[[Mash (TV)|Mash]]'' surgeons referred to what they were doing as "meatball surgery" -- doing quick (but hopefully not too dirty) surgery, keeping the patient alive but leaving follow-ups to the better-equipped Evac hospitals. Naturally, many of the plots involved the protagonists trying to avert or subvert this trope, but it still arose from time to time.▼
{{quote| '''Hawkeye:''' Our general attitude around here is that we want to play par surgery on this course. Par is a live patient. We're not sweet swingers, and if we've gotta kick it in with our knees to get a par that's how we do it.}}▼
* This trope is zig-zagged in the ''[[Temeraire]]'' series. Human medical treatment is standard for the [[Napoleonic Wars]], however the tools used by dragon surgeons could easily pass for melee weapons... but then given the [[Incredibly Lame Pun|scale]] of their patients most of the injuries that can be treated by human physicians are relatively superficial.
== [[Live
* This type was used quite a bit in ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]''.
** Gumby [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M68GeL8PafE&feature=related Brain Surgury]
* In ''[[The Muppet Show]]'', Rowlf occasionally gets to begin such an operation in the "Veterinarian's Hospital" sketches.
* Comes up in ''[[Sharpe]]'' once or twice, set as it is in the Napoleonic Wars. Sharpe himself removes a man's shattered arm with a sword (it's easier to stop the bleeding from one large wound than lots of little ones) and Harper pulls out one of his own teeth with pliers.
* In the early episodes of the Japanese show ''[[Jin (TV)|Jin]]'', the titular [[Time Travel|time-shifted]] doctor evokes this trope when he uses ''carpenter's tools'' (among other implements) to perform emergency brain surgery on a wounded man, to the horror of onlookers.
▲* The surgeons on ''[[
▲{{quote|
== [[Music]] ==
* The video for [["Weird Al" Yankovic
▲* This video for [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyrXy1TUDlw Aberinkula] by the Mars Volta
* This trope is used in ''[[Warhammer
▲* The video for [[Weird Al Yankovic|Weird Al]]'s [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=notKtAgfwDA Like A Surgeon]
{{quote|
* ''[[Magic:
▲* This trope is used in ''[[Warhammer 40000]]'' by Ork doctors, the painboyz (also known as Doks, or Mad Doks). Some don't even bother to use anesthetic at all, preferring to have their patient squirming and kicking so they know he's still alive. Orks are so inhumanly tough that they not only survive, but usually fully recover very quickly.
▲{{quote| '''[[Dawn of War|Mad Dok:]]''' Now this is gonna 'urt ''a lot'' but you'll be bettah, you'll see!...}}
▲* ''[[Magic the Gathering]]'' has the Goblin Chirurgeon ("Chirurgeon" is a middle English term for surgeon), who kills live goblins to make sure other creatures can live. One art has one sawing away at a goblin's leg to give to another goblin who has lost theirs. The goblin getting his leg hacked off is awake at the time.
** Also implied by another Goblin in Goblin Medics, specifically in its flavor text, a perversion of the Hippocratic Oath: "First, do some harm."
* In the ''[[Ravenloft]]'' setting, it's implied that this is the sort of "surgery" used by Frantisek Markov, the Darklord of Markovia, to turn victims into Broken Ones, although there is at least some magic involved as well. Justified as, prior to falling into the [[Moral Event Horizon]] and becoming a Darklord, he was an uneducated butcher who would "experiment" on swine as a macabre "hobby". He uses no anesthetic, in any case.
▲* The board game ''Operation'', naturally. The game's implication is made obvious during commercials.
▲** Don't be absurd. [[Video Game Cruelty Punishment|If you do it badly, you lose the game.]]
▲** Players who are already losing anyway will take their frustration out on the patient, who's already screaming anyway.
== [[Theatre]] ==
* A skit frequently used at summer camps is all about this, with everyone standing behind a sheet so only the shadows can be seen. There are several variations depending on who is performing it and where, but the one this troper saw included the following:
** The doctors (a normal stethoscope/lab coat doctor and a tribal witch-doctor) initially stated that neither had performed surgery before. It was clear that they had no idea what they were doing.
** The patient was knocked out by being [[Tap
** The [[Chainsaw Good|chainsaw]]-as-surgical-instrument subtrope made an appearance.
** The doctors accidentally removed the patient's heart, which bounced around for a few seconds and then exploded.
** Despite the doctors making a huge mess and accomplishing nothing, the patient exclaimed, "I feel much better now!" at the end.
== [[Video Games]] ==
* The flash game ''[[Amateur Surgeon]]'' is based all around this since the main character is a [[Back
* The ''[[
▲* The flash game [[Amateur Surgeon]] is based all around this since the main character is a [[Back Alley Doctor]] with a talent for improvising. Why use a scalpel when you have a pizza cutter? Lighters can cauterize pretty well, can't they? Surely a [[Chainsaw Good|Chainsaw]] would make for a perfect bonesaw, right?
▲* The ''[[Team Fortress 2 (Video Game)|Team Fortress 2]]'' video ''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36lSzUMBJnc Meet the Medic]''. Roughly half the video involves the RED Medic performing surgery on the Heavy, in a procedure involving a device ({{spoiler|which, as it turns out, enables the Übercharge in-game}}) getting shoved onto Heavy's still-beating heart, said heart ''exploding'' and being replaced with a "Mega Baboon" heart, and Medic pushing the organ into the Heavy's chest cavity so hard he breaks off a rib. All while the Heavy is awake, mind you.
** Not to mention he allows his pet doves to roam the room during operations. [[Named After Somebody Famous|Archimedes]], pictured above, even likes to hang out inside patients' ribcages. The only thing the Medic finds objectionable about this is that "It's filthy in there!".
** Mind you, the Medic's nigh-magical Medigun, plus the [[Cartoon Physics]] of the ''Team Fortress 2'' universe pretty much allows him to throw caution out the window.
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* A non-comedic example occurs in ''[[First Encounter Assault Recon|FEAR 2: Project Origin]]'', while [[Player Character|Michael Beckett]] is undergoing surgery to awaken his Harbinger powers, he has a hallucination in which demonic creatures in surgical uniforms claw and hack at his flesh.
== [[Web
* ''[[Schlock Mercenary]]'' has some moments.
** Nanoprobes. Dr. Bunnigus [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-03-16 checks] how rebuilding of Ebbirnoth is going. Of course, compared to the pre-existing massive damage, a little knife doesn't really change anything.
** Neeka, an [[Mechanical Lifeforms|Esspererin]] (which may have something to do with her… unusual approach) medic hired by Toughs. She is evidently good at this and [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-05-26 considered "efficient" by a medical AI]. Also, [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-03-28 very fast]. The only problem with her style is that it's quite unceremonious and doesn't minimize cuts at all. Naturally, this tend to freak out patients who happened to be conscious at the start and didn't think to close their eyes. Especially in cases when it's more convenient to just cut off an appendage, fix it, and then attach back (things like scars and suturing are not a problem, because nanobots will rebuild the affected tissues from cell level up either way, it's just that the faster foreign objects are removed and the less needs rebuilding, the sooner it ends). Sometimes it's [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-10-14 comedy gold], in part thanks to her cheesy grin. And sometimes we get only a [[Reaction Shot]] of people watching a screen with lots of red.
{{quote|'''Kaff Tagon''': ''Whaaa...'' She did that with ''knives?'' It looks like a bomb went off.
'''Michelle Diego-Garcia''': Watch! She's going to reassemble all three of those guys, ''minus'' the fifty-seven bullets they had in them.}}
* Llewellyn's fear of dentists in ''[[Ozy and Millie]]'' comes from [https://web.archive.org/web/20201018110004/https://ozyandmillie.org/comic/ozy-and-millie-178/ the experience he had of them as a child], being operated on with very crude tools in blatantly unsanitary conditions.
== [[Western Animation]] ==
* Used in ''[[
* Also used for ''amateur'' plastic surgery in the ''[[
* ''[[
* Wilbur in ''[[The Rescuers
* ''[[The Simpsons (
** Moe is also revealed to be an unlicensed and unhygienic surgeon in one episode.
* Kenny gets one of these in ''[[South Park: Bigger, Longer
== Real Life ==▼
▲== [[Real Life]] ==
* Brain surgery involves drilling a hole in someone's head. The drill is pretty much the same as the one you use at home, just a little more fancy. At least it looks and acts mostly the same.
* Amputating limbs is done with electric saw. It also looks and acts a lot like a regular hand tool.
* A few prehistoric skulls have been found with [
* Battlefield surgery until surprisingly recently could be like this. They would amputate with a saw and cauterize with a branding iron [[Fate Worse Than Death|with no anesthetic]] other than rum and opium. Which wasn't always given.
** This is a popular myth, but [[Did Not Do the Research|not exactly based in historical fact]]. Ether was available as early as the Civil War, and the use of forceps to tie off the blood vessels and arteries was invented in Ancient Egypt and rediscovered in the 1600s. Battlefield surgery wasn't ''pretty'', but it wasn't "biting the bullet" either.
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:Comedy Tropes]]
▲[[Category:Trope]]
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