Narm/News: Difference between revisions

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* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2T3wocFXy0 This] news report on a lightning strike victim, especially for the look on the reporter's face after the clip is shown.
{{quote|"...well."}}
* "[https://web.archive.org/web/20120305230004/http://www.wptz.com/health/17539127/detail.html PETA Urges Ben & Jerry's (a frozen dairy product brand) To Use Human Milk]"
* [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/14/peta-wants-to-rename-fish_n_157836.html PETA launches campaign to rename fish]. The new name? ''Sea Kittens''. Why? Because [[What Measure Is a Non-Cute?|"nobody would hurt a sea kitten"]]. Basically, PETA wants us to give up fishing and eating fish. Clearly, they've forgotten that people eat catfish all the time.
** ''Sea kittening''.
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* A local newscast (WCPX) once featured a story breathlessly headlined "Cat attacked by alligator!" It seems a local man stepped outside his door to find an alligator on his front porch ([[Only in Florida|not that unusual, this is Florida]]). We're treated to "exclusive footage", which means the man took his home video camera and filmed the gator while his wife was screaming for him to call animal control. ''BUT THEN'', the family cat walks up to the gator! More hysterical screaming from wife and cameraman! More overwrought narration from the newscasters about the danger of the situation! MORE... Uh... lying around. The cat sniffs the gator once, then lies next to it and the two enjoy a sunbeam together. Neither seems particularly bothered by the presence of the other. It's the least mobile "attack" in history. Eventually, animal control does arrive and they capture the, uh, "dangerous" alligator. The segment is topped off by the on-the-spot action-news reporter holding the cat and solemnly informing us that "He used up one of his nine lives today." The same broadcast featured "life-threatening tornadoes" in the middle of an empty field, far from buildings, but, HEY, more exclusive footage!
** [[Sweet Dreams Fuel|Pictures plz!]]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20081208041650/http://www.news.com.au/travel/story/0,26058,24452101-5014090,00.html "Air passenger stabs himself... with toothbrush."]
* Upon first glance, it looked like [http://www.theage.com.au:80/articles/2008/10/27/1224955916155.html Family First Senator Steve Fielding wants hardcore pornography and fetish material].
* Back in the mid-90s, a Salt Lake City TV station did a report about a man who got charged with animal cruelty after stomping his dog to death. A sickening story, to be sure. The Narm got served after the story aired, when [https://web.archive.org/web/20130322004559/http://www.abc4.com/content/about/bios/brenthunsaker/default.aspx the anchor], rather than continue on to the next story, decided to editorialize. Fixing a thoughtful, concerned gaze onto the camera, he observed in a solemn tone of voice, "It makes you wonder why they even had a dog." Even this description doesn't do the sheer eye-rolling inanity of his comment justice.
* A radio commercial for a TV station's series of special reports breathlessly described how prostitution was allegedly spreading into supposedly safe suburban neighborhoods. The title of the series?
{{quote|"Sex...On Your Street."}}