Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide/WMG: Difference between revisions

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== One-Bite is dead. ==
 
One-bite was a severely abused boy who's parents fed him very little, if any, food and never packed him a lunch or gave him lunch money, not even enough for a little something from a vending machine. This is why he'd go out of his way to steal anything he could at lunch, including cafeteria food. (which is always hyped up to be worse then eating out of the trash, even in the real world)
 
This also explains how, even with all the stuff he 'one-bites', he remains almost frighteningly thin. It also explains how he showed up out of nowhere, because he was rarely at school anyway because of all his 'accidents', and so his parents ensured that he'd receive no food. This is also why no one ever reported One-Bite to the office for his thefts, they knew he would get in serious trouble and be ether beaten or receive even less food.
 
The nurse said that food that was too spicy would drive him to never want to eat again. Ned and Gordy, both blissfully unaware of the situation, created a huge volcano sandwich to trick One-Bite off of taking their food forever. Starving, One-Bite was unable to resist the bait. Then he said he'd “never take one bit out of anything ever again.” In the context of this theory, it translates to “I'll never eat anything ever again.”
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One-Bite kept his promise to never take another kid's food, but eventually ether starved himself to death or was killed by a fierce beating after being so weak and malnourished.
 
This information was soon released around school. Crushed at what happened to One-Bite and how everyone was so blinded with protecting their own food that they ended up killing One-Bite, not a student nor teacher has ever brought up his name again. This explains why One-Bite hasn't even been mentioned since his episode.
 
Read the book ''[[A Child Called It]]'' by Dave Pelzer. The next time anyone sees this episode, keep this theory in mind and see what you feel.
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== There is some connection between this series and Bill Willingham's [[Fables]]. ==
Think about it. Bigby Wolf; Ned Bigby; and the school teams are called the Wolves... that's got to be at least a [[Shout-Out]].
* It can't be a reference to the original story, either, because there's no other way in which Ned is big, bad, or a wolf.
 
== Timmy Toot-Toot and Heppokomaru/Gasser from [[Bobobobo Bobobo-Bo Bo-bobo]] are related. ==
They're both Asian. They both have superpowered flatulence....
 
== Timmy Toot-Toot and [[Bobobobo Bobobo-Bo Bo-bobo|Gasser]] are ''the same person''. ==
We know Gasser can speak perfect American-style English because he does it in the dub (how's that for circular reasoning?), and we've never seen him in school. It's never been established that Timmy can't speak Japanese, and we've never seen him out of school. The blue hair is a wig to protect his real hair from the Hair Hunters.
 
== Polk is a [[Wizarding School]], possibly in the [[Harry Potter|Potterverse]]. ==
There's no way the Super-Tramp 3000 would've carried Cookie that far without grievous permanent injury; no way could Moze have built a fully-functioning two-story volcano inside the school in a couple of days; no way could Ned have been so oddly disfigured by his attempts to "look strong" only to revert to his normal self when he finally let his breath out - not by ''natural'' laws. Polk being a [[Wizarding School]] would explain a lot.
 
The second part of the assertion takes more stretching; you'll have to accept the theories offered on the [[Harry Potter/WMG|Harry Potter]] page about electronics and the UK Ministry of Magic. But J.K. Rowling has said that British and American wizarding culture "aren't necessarily" as closely related as in [[Real Life]].
 
And then there was the time that [[New Transfer Student|new kid]] wore a full Gryffindor House [[Transfer Student Uniforms|uniform on his first day]]. You'd think someone, somewhere along the way, would've told him to show up in jeans and a t-shirt, especially if it's part of [[The Masquerade]]. Apparently not.
* Usually, that would be the assistant principal's job. Would you take fashion advice from Crubbs?
* The Gryffindor uniform kid ''could'' just be a fan. People wear [[Harry Potter]] scarves in [[Real Life]]--it's not much of a stretch for someone to wear the full school uniform as a fashion statement.
** On the first day at your new school? Now ''that's'' [[Otaku]]! And it's a good thing Polk didn't have its own uniform - or do jeans and a T-shirt count?
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** Or, going with the [[Mahou Sensei Negima|Negiverse]] Theory, a relative of Chamo.
 
== Ned is the current generation of [[Blackadder]]. ==
"Ned" can be short for "Edmund", the family name could have been changed by the ancestor who fle-, um, ''immigrated'' to America, Ned ''is'' good at playing the system, and his general lack of [[Jerkass]] -ness could be explained by anything from self-awareness and personal effort, to simply the idealism of youth (every other Blackadder we've seen has been at least 30).
 
All of which means that somewhere in England there's a school with a Baldrick and a Percy who are missing their Blackadder...
 
== Polk ''did'' have a uniform for a few years but dropped it, possibly just before the start of the series. ==
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== There is a weird connection between this show and Scrubs. ==
Sorta like an [[Alternate Universe]] or history where [[High School AU|some of the characters are middle school aged and have different names.]] Ned could be Alt!J.D. -- they both have wild day dreams; his best friend Cookie could be Alt!Turk. Both shows even have an [[Almighty Janitor]]!!
* The show is the [[Live Action Adaptation]] of J.D.'s own School Survival Guide.
* If Cookie grows up to become Turk -- how did THAT drop in intelligence happen?
* And whatever happened to Moose?.... This screams for Fanfic!
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Well, they both love sports, and they always wear tracksuits, and then we add the choppy blonde hair...they're so similar! Seth is Sue Sylvester's son that she gave up for adoption after a fling, and he got adopted by his new parents. He got the nicer personality and lack of intelligence from his biological dad, but the rest of him is SO Sue.
 
OR
 
He's Brittany's cousin. Coz they're both stupid, pretty, blond athletes. You can just see them at a family reunion can't you?