Nice to the Waiter: Difference between revisions

A subtrope of [[Pet the Dog]] (or [[Kick the Dog]] when the person is rude to the waiter), often used to show [[Hidden Depths]].

 

 

{{examples}}

 

== Anime/Manga ==

 

 

== Comic Books ==

** This is especially obvious in one issue towards the end of the ''Murderer/Fugitive'' arc which covers Bruce reintegrating himself with his day-to-day life after an extended period away. He knows the names of every employee (even the mail boy who he reminds of Wayne Enterprises college programs) and every employee treats him as a genuinely liked, [[The Wonka|if eccentric and slightly dim, employer]].

** Most of the Bat Family are also like this, except for Damian, towards Alfred. Everyone tends to treat him like a friend doing them a favor whereas Damian keeps their relationship to master and servant, calling him Pennyworth and giving orders rather than making requests. He's not mean, he just keeps the relationship professional.

** This one goes back and forth depending on the writer, the era and whether Tony is in one of his periodic Jerkass phases.

*** It should also be noted that when Tony blows his top and yells at an employee, he usually has a very good reason. Tony once regretted berating the head of his legal department and resolved to apologize, but that was because the guy was doing such a crappy job as the head of Stark Enterprises' legal team. He was fired a couple of issues later after Tony became fed up with his incompetence.

*** Not always a noble man, at least in a recent retcon. ''Iron Man: The Iron Age'' has pre-armor Tony as a huge [[Jerkass]], even giving Pepper Potts an unwanted slap on the ass.

* All ''[[The Avengers (Comic Book)|The Avengers]]'' have great respect for their butler Jarvis (another Stark employee, by the way), naming him an honorary Avenger. We most often see this with [[Captain America]].

** Another Cap example: there is a story told bit by bit to some [[Hilarity Sues|accountants trying to tally up the damages after a superfight]] by the various Avengers involved in said super fight. Some Avengers are rude, some of them annoyed, some cavalier, Thor basically just hands over a bag of gold, and Cap - Cap hands over filled-out paperwork about the ticketed Quinjet (including the badge number of the officer who gave the ticket) and the voucher for taking something out of a prison. The accountants love him.

*** Another Cap one, from the beginning of the ''Civil War'' arc. Cap breaks out of SHIELD's helicarrier by commandeering a jet fighter (including pilot) through the simple expedient of clinging on to the cockpit. Being Cap, he orders the pilot to set down in a not-in-use football stadium and takes the pilot for a burger.

** Lex is actually a very complex character when it comes to this trope. Lex appreciates honest, hard work, since he himself comes from a working-class background, and as much of a villain as he is, he's not lying when he says that he has the [[Well-Intentioned Extremist|ultimate well-being of humanity in mind]]. Of course, HE should be the one in charge, but as long as he has that, he does try to make those under him live better lives. Not to mention that Lex has a good understanding of how economics work, so he knows that his financial empire is supported by average joes working blue-collar jobs.

** In a good showing of Lex's complex portrayal in this comic, he's very respectful and thankful to one of the scientists working under him on a critical project, but is still willing to sacrifice him in his latest plot to kill Superman (although he does seem regretful about it).

 

== Film ==

* In ''The Whole Ten Yards'', [[Bruce Willis (Creator)]]'s hitman with a heart of gold beats a man senseless for berating his waitress in a restaurant (after, surprisingly, he tries talking to the guy about it calmly), then tells the man's kid to always be kind to people serving you food, and to eat his vegetables.

** Of course, in the previous movie ''The Whole Nine Yards'', he threatened to violently murder the waitress who took his hamburger order down wrong. This might have gone to show he'd [[Character Development|become a more decent person]] in the interim.

{{quote| '''Johnny Cage''': Thank God I didn't ask him to park the car...}}

* Subverted in ''[[A Few Good Men]]'', where total bastard Colonel Jessep is shown taking time out of holding court at a lunch table (and preparing to humiliate the Navy lawyers who've come to investigate his base) to thank the waiter and tell him the meal was delicious.

* Patrick Bateman and all of his Yuppie friends in ''[[American Psycho]]'' are absolutely horrid to the waiters at the various expense restaurants they go to, which just highlights how they're not good people.

* In ''[[Clueless]]'', Cher tells her family's maid, Lucy, that she doesn't speak "Mexican," angering the native Salvadorian into storming off. While seemingly a rude and disrespectful thing to say, in context it's made clear that Cher was [[Dumb Blonde|guilty of]] [[Book Dumb|simple ignorance]] and frustration with her own problems rather than any actual malice towards the maid. Throughout the movie she speaks with Lucy as an equal rather than a servant, and apologizes to her later after realizing her mistake.

* In the film of ''[[The Voyage of the Dawn Treader]]'', the heroes are appalled to find that the people of the island they land on are being kept as slaves. One of the reasons they are driven to stop the evil island is because they find out that a number of said slaves were being dumped there as sacrifices. At the end of the film, Caspian admits to being tempted to visit Aslan's country but refuses, on the grounds that he won't abandon his subjects.

* In ''[[The Cable Guy]]'', the main character's estranged girlfriend goes on a date with a jerk played by Owen Wilson, who immediately kicks the dog by being a condescending asshole to the waiter. This makes his impending beatdown seem a bit deserved, thereby keeping the Cable Guy from reaching the depths of his villainy quite so early in the film.

* A prominent part of ''[[The Help]]''.

== Literature ==

* ''[[Duumvirate]]'' uses this trope constantly. Being on good terms with your servants is a mark of competence as a master. The titular characters even use it to {{spoiler|decide who to let live}} at the end of the book.

** Subverted by the Rogue of Port Caynn, Pearl, in ''[[Tortall Universe|Bloodhound]]'', who [[Pet the Dog|likes dogs]] and [[Even Evil Has Standards|threatens people who hurt them]]. Bekka knows she has [[Complete Monster|no other redeeming characteristics]], but this still makes it harder than it was before.

** Inversion: The Emperor of Carthak had Daine, the most famous wild-mage in Tortall, travel to his palace ''just to heal his pet birds''--yet he can "send armies to their deaths without batting an eye." This is the first clue as to how messed-up he is.

** Eddard Stark is always polite and respectful with his servants. He regularly invites one peasant to dine with him for a night to better understand the needs of his smallfolk.

** Catelyn Stark also treats the commoners well. After promising a ship's crew a bonus if they made good time, she paid each oarsman personally rather than give the money to their captain who would have kept it all for himself.

** Edmure Tully was the only noble to allow his peasants to take refuge in his castle during the war, a move which the others saw as foolish and soft-hearted.

** Danaerys Targaryen frees all of her slaves, treats her servants with respect, and thinks of all of her followers as her children.

** Also, part of the signal that the murder victim in ''Whose Body?'' is a good guy is that he was well-liked by his servants, not just because of this, but also in a more classist way, because he was a "natural gentleman" despite being a [[Self-Made Man]]- one point in solving the mystery was that he would always neatly fold his clothing before going to bed.

* Sirius Black subverts this -- while Dumbledore tells Harry he was kind to house-elves in general, Sirius is nasty and cruel to his own house elf Kreacher. It's Black's evil-aligned family who are kind to Kreacher. {{spoiler|This proves to be Sirius' undoing.}}

** If Sirius subverts this trope, Hermione and Harry play it straight. And Ron earns [[First Kiss|something special]] from Hermione when he finally figures it out in ''Deathly Hallows''.

** While we don't see Dumbledore interacting with the Hogwarts House Elves, the fact that he allowed Dobby to work as hired help rather than the usual no pay and no holiday arrangements (which other wizards and witches wouldn't even consider) and even suggested that Dobby insult him in private shows that he treats them well.

{{quote| ''If you want to know what a lady is really like, don't look at her; for she may be too clever for you. Don't look at the men round her, for they may be too silly about her. But look at some other woman who is always near to her, and especially one who is under her. You will see in that mirror her real face, and the face mirrored in Mrs. Sands was very ugly.''}}

** In another one, the [[Denouement]] hinges on the fact that Father Brown talks to the secretary, whereas the employer knows nothing about him besides his name.

** In yet another one, the villain's deception only works because his victims don't pay any attention to the waiters serving them. G K Chesterton was slightly fond of this trope.

{{quote| ''Chass continued. "If this attack inconveniences our houses, I say: Let us be inconvenienced. We have a duty to the hive population."''}}

* In the historical novel ''Betsy and the Emperor'', a British teenager is surprised to note that Napoleon Bonaparte, who is, as far as she's concerned, the scourge of Europe, is fair and decent towards slaves, allowing them to take a rest break before a noble prisoner is allowed the same privilege.

** Similiarly, Bertie realizes that Florence Craye truly is a [[Rich Bitch]] when he learns how mean she is to servants. According to Jeeves, her downstairs nickname is "Lady [[The Caligula|Caligula]]".

** Pretty much all of Bertie's friends respect Jeeves' competence and intelligence: Bingo Little regularly relies on Jeeves for help with his romantic problems, and Bertie's Aunt Dahlia invites Bertie to stay just to have access to Jeeves for her schemes. Bertie is (usually) the first to recommend Jeeves' advice & opinion, openly admitting that Jeeves is the brains of the pair - "the man practically lives on fish!"

** The Pevensies in general, considering that they're kings and queens and treat all of the other beings with respect.

** In ''[[The Horse and His Boy]]'', when Shasta and Bree find Hwin and Aravis, Bree and Hwin talk. Aravis demands to know why he's talking to her horse, not her. Bree points out that as Talking Horse, Hwin has as much right to speak of Aravis as her human. Aravis finds this unsettling.

** Various Calormene nobles are unpleasant to the lower classes, starting with the one who wants to [[Made a Slave|buy Shasta]]. Archland's and Narnia's nobles and royalty do much better.

** It's worth noting that Frank, the first king of Narnia, treated his horse as if it were a close friend. When Aslan made the horse intelligent and able to talk, Frank was thrilled, seeing it as proof that the horse was as smart (and well-bred) as he thought.

** In [[James Swallow]]'s ''The Flight of the Eisenstein'', other Death Guards, having [[Good Is Old-Fashioned|jeered at Garro]] for [[Good Old Ways|following the old custom that preserved Kaleb's life]] as [[Old Retainer|his equerry]] -- to Kaleb's face -- proceed to stop Kaleb in the corridors and heckle him until another Death Guard interrupts. He admits to this one that Garro uses him to feel out the morale; no one notices him as he moves about.<br />Guess who remained loyal and who proved a traitor?

** In [[Graham McNeill]]'s ''Fulgrim'', Braxton is enraged that the primarch keeps him waiting, because keeping people waiting is what he does to other people, to demonstrate his superior status.

* In the Eric Flint novel ''[[1632|1633]]'', it's pointed out that, despite having previously been a very negatively portrayed [[Straw Character]], John Simpson and his wife are greatly respected by the working class people of Magdeburg because of their treatment of their underlings. Despite being a bit of a snob, Mary Simpson is commonly referred to as "The American Lady" because she is unfailingly courteous to her servants, where most 17th century nobles would ignore them completely.

** Likewise, in the beginning of the same novel, Cardinal Richelieu is noted to be very polite to his servants, repaying loyalty ''from'' them with loyalty in return.

** In the [[Belisarius Series]], weapons designer John of Rhodes is noted as being the sort of man who's only rude to his social equals or superiors. There's also Kungas, whose character is revealed to Raghunath Rao when he walks into a room, swiftly assesses where he'll need to post guards, curtly gives his soldiers the orders to post those guards, and then leads them ''slowly'' and carefully across the room so they won't scuff the floor a servant was polishing just then.

*** When Eon is being evaluated for the position of Emperor by the Axumite chiefs and warriors one of the most important things they ask is how he treated the servant girls. They all knew he was a notorious ladies man and didn't mind terribly; but what they wanted to know is if he had abused them or unduly pressured them because that was considered a sign of how he would treat his people. Eon passed with flying colors; he was intemperate with his servants but not unkind and that was what they wanted to know.

** In ''The Mad King'', the regent and his [[Mooks]] discuss how Von der Tann might have found out:

{{quote| ''I don't for a moment doubt but that he has his spies among the palace servants, or even the guard. You know the old fox has always made it a point to curry favor with the common soldiers. When he was minister of war he treated them better than he did his officers.''}}

** It's noticeable that Ridcully tends to be a lot nicer to the serving staff than he is to his fellow professors, possibly related to him growing up on the street himself.

*** It's probably also a commentary on the fact that he was originally appointed Archchancellor because after he finished school he went to live in the country, and they were expecting a bucolic halfwit who wouldn't make waves; he has shown a tendency to repay respect in kind, on both sides of the scale.

* In ''[[The Secret Garden]]'', Mary's mother wanted her out of the way, and the servants would just try to keep Mary quiet. As a consequence, she quickly learned tantrums and hitting to get what she wanted. Her uncle's servants do not treat her with deference, which helps in her [[Character Development]] from [[Spoiled Brat]].

** Mary also quickly takes a liking to Martha, Dickon, and their family, along with the gardener. Mostly this is because those are the people who are consistently around, while her uncle is never there. Even when she befriends Colin, she chooses to spend the day with Dickon instead of him at one point.

** In the Cuaron adaptation, Sara also promises to return and rescue Becky when she escapes from the boarding house.

* One of the Millers' most scandalous crimes in ''[[Daisy Miller]]'' is that they ''* gasp* '' actually treat their servant Eugenio like a human being instead of a piece of furniture! How could anyone be so ''vulgar?!''

{{quote| ''He was a fine old man, but looked sadly ill and worn. "A crust of bread is what I crave!" he repeated. "A single crust, and a little water!"<br />

"Here's some water, drink this!" Uggug bellowed, emptying a jug of water over his head.<br />

"Well done, my boy!" cried the Vice-Warden.'' }}

** [[Sylvie and Bruno]] chase after him to give him Bruno's cake -- and find [[King Incognito|he's their father]].

** This is taken to extremes in ''Through the Looking Glass'', where the White and Red Queen expect the newly-queened Alice to be so polite as to formally introduce herself to the dishes at her coronation banquet. She obliges for the first few, but eventually refuses on the grounds that they won't let her eat anything she knows personally and she's very hungry.

* Part of [[Ace Pilot|Wedge Antilles]]' [[Establishing Character Moment]] in ''[[X Wing Series|Rogue Squadron]]'' is his conscientiousness to his mechanic; he smiles and tells the mechanic that his X-Wing looks good as new if not better, putting aside private unease. The mechanic is a Verpine, and there are stories about Verpine mechanics tinkering with craft and forgetting that most pilots don't count in base six or have vision that lets them see microscopic detail. But none of the stories are substantiated. He's also sympathetic to his new astromech when it tells him that its [[Embarrassing Nickname|nickname]] is "Mynock" because a previous pilot said it screamed like one in combat, which was a slander.

** Played with amusingly in ''Wraith Squadron'', when Wedge shows up in a rather similar scene to look over twelve [[Shiny-Looking Spaceships|shiny new X-Wings]], and this time he's not the viewpoint character. This mechanic [[Blatant Lies|lies blatantly]], saying that these are the worst new ships he's ever seen - factory-new ships tend to have all kinds of untested irregularities - and unless he can pull off a miracle with the extruder valve, they won't be flight-ready for a couple of days. Wedge blinks and gives him those days, apparently completely ignorant of the fact that X-Wings have no extruder valve. He wanders around for a bit, making the mechanics uneasy and meaning that they can't go on break for fear of being written up; they retaliate by loudly telling each other about catastrophic mechanical failures in X-Wings and the resultant loss of life. After he finally leaves, they fix the minor problems and play sabacc. Overestimating the time makes them look good.

* In "The Secret Sin of Septimus Brope," by Saki, there is the following exchange:

{{quote| "Is your maid called Florence?"<br />

* In ''The Problem of Thor Bridge'', [[Sherlock Holmes]] benefits from this trope when one of his wealthy client's employees comes at the outset to warn him about the client's vindictive nature. Holmes even [[Lampshade Hanging|lampshades]] it when he points out the insights one can get into a man's character when you see what his employees think of him.

* In the first book of the ''[[Villain Dot Net|Villain.net]]'' series, [[Villain Protagonist|Jake]] at one point gives up his chair to an older henchman of his [[Evil Mentor]] Basilisk's, helping solidify his status as an [[Anti-Villain]].

* In Sara Paretsky's ''Fire Sale'', readers are clued in fairly early that Billy, the youngest of the family that turns out to be the [[Big Bad]] (they own a Walmart-like corporation), is different from the rest of his family by how he treats the workers kindly and they all are happy to see him.

* In ''Beastly'', one of the signs that Kyle is becoming a better person is that he sees his maid and his tutor as his best friends. Also, the girl he falls in love with worked the ticket booth at prom at the beginning of the book (though he didn't think well of her at the time).

 

 

== Live Action TV ==

* In the TV show ''[[Heat Of The Sun]]'', set in colonial Kenya, the hero (played by Trevor Eve), a detective, stands up for the indigenous Africans, shakes hands with black servants, etc., while his boss, a colonialist jerk, looks down on them.

** Played with in another episode where Jerry, George, and Kramer visit LA. Jerry and George run into a guy who favors giving huge tips to the help, but he doesn't turn out to be such a good guy in the end. He's actually a serial killer.

** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMeJb6YbXsM "Sack him.... Why? Because we're very, very rich, that's why!"]

** Even better, he added a small amount of money to the tip after something went right, amongst all the times he took away from it.

** In another episode, the aliens attend a murder mystery dinner and, of course, think it's real. When they get the idea that [[The Butler Did It]], Tommy gets worried that he'll be the next victim because he was rude to the butler earlier.

** This is also true of all of his senior staff with the notable exception of Toby, who hates working with anybody who can't write up to his standards or annoys him in the slightest, and wants everyone to know it. He is, however, very protective of the ones who manage to stick it out. And interestingly, most of the baddies on the show seem to have very loyal staffs of their own.

* On ''[[Ghost Whisperer]]'', Delia declines a second date with a guy who completely freaks out and berates a waiter for spilling something on Delia (far more than the poor guy deserves). The date was otherwise perfect, but she explains that her mother always told her never to date a man who was rude to waiters.

** Previously, Will mentions playing the "Be Nice To Waiters" game. He says, "If you win, you get to not go to hell."

* In ''[[Doctor Who]]'', the Doctor usually goes out of his way to find the names of and be kind to the random people he meets on his travels. His companions are pretty good about this as well. In the second episode of the new series, Rose is thanked by an employee on a space satellite, because the former gave the latter permission to speak. Inversely we see that in an alternate universe, Jackie Tyler dismisses Rose's attempts to repair her failing marriage because "You're just staff!" Of course, given that Jackie and Rose had been getting along well previously, it could have been that she was embarrassed that a strange waitress was giving her marriage advice.

** And when it ''doesn't'' happen, it's noteworthy enough to be called out: see the late 10th Doctor episode "Midnight" and the stewardess of the tour shuttle he and several strangers are on.

* Played with on ''[[Gilmore Girls]]''--Emily is never outright rude to her servants, but has ridiculously high standards and changes maids every couple of weeks for reasons that Lorelai finds ridiculous.

** Seemingly accidentally used with the main cast as well. [[Jerkass Facade|Barney]] is shown to usually be nice to his servers (he inevitably learns the names of his cabbies and converses with them like friends), while [[Bitch in Sheep's Clothing|Lily]] isn't (referring to a server by the wrong name after he told her his correct name, for example)

* In ''[[Hustle]]'', the marks are invariably rude to waiters, the hired help, their own employees and anyone else lower than them on the social pecking order.

** Not sure if that counts as a subversion for [[Manipulative Bastard|Lucille]].

* ''[[Downton Abbey]]''. Pretty much every person of nobility is considered decent if they treat their servants well.

* This trope is part of what made Ted Hoffman a good character on ''[[Murder One]]''. He never fails to be good to his staff at the firm, giving them generous bonuses at Christmas, paid vacation time and always making Them feel appreciated for Their work (Especially his assistant Louis). They in return are unflinchingly loyal and committed to him and look up to Him as a mentor and father figure (Which made Justine's betrayal more heartbreaking and Their reconciliation more uplifting).

** Tywin Lannister has a few [[Pet the Dog]] moments with Arya Stark and treats her with a surprising amount of respect, though he does warn her to "be careful" when she steps over the line.

** Daenerys Targaryen treats her servants with a great deal of respect.

 

== Theater ==

 

 

== Video Games ==

 

 

== [[Web Comics]] ==

{{quote| '''Moloch:''' ''I'' think it shows a bit of respect for the working man.}}

** And Zola admits that Gil treated her nicely even when she seemed just a chorus girl to him.

** In the [[The Film of the Book|Novel of the Comic]] Gil also treats Wooster, his valet/assistant, less formally than he should, such as giving him a cup of tea instead of expecting him to serve and stand back. He also shows genuine affection for Zoing, a construct servant. Gil in general treats subordinates better than one would expect the son of the dictator of Europe would.

** In contrast, the Jägergenerals relate how the Heterodynes always earned the trust of the Jägermonsters, hence their loyalty; Lucrezia, however, is shown to be very rude to the Jägers, who only serve her for Bill's sake. So when Lucrezia {{spoiler|turns out to be the Other}}, there's no fear that the Jägermonsters will join her.

 

 

== Web Original ==

** Ayla also has a good reason for it. If you aren't nice to the help, you'll end up without any help. And good work deserves good pay. It's just good business.

 

 

== Western Animation ==

** Further driven home in the third season, where we see Zuko and Azula interacting with their respective servants. Zuko is unfailingly polite to his servants and they seem happy to work for him. Azula's servants are terrified of her (rightfully so) and she ''banishes one of them for leaving a pit in her cherries.''

*** In all fairness, [[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?|she could have choked on the day of her coronation]].

 

 

* CEOs call this the [http://www.usatoday.com/money/companies/management/2006-04-14-ceos-waiter-rule_x.htm Waiter Rule]. Humor columnist [[Dave Barry]] once wrote "A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. This is exactly the form that Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson wrote it in his booklet ''Swanson's Unwritten Rules of Management''. Swanson says that the Waiter Rule is the only one that never fails. <ref> "Such behavior is an accurate predictor of character because it isn't easily learned or unlearned but rather speaks to how people were raised, says Siki Giunta, CEO of U.S. technology company Managed Objects."</ref>

* Journalism schools teach their students to butter up secretaries, as they tend to be the gatekeepers for important people.

** One thing it would seem to illustrate is G.K. Chesterton's contention that those who are most extreme in their opinions are commonly the most pleasant in personal relationships. During their tenure, the two U.S. Senators with the best reputation for treating staff well were Teddy Kennedy and Jesse Helms.

* [[Adolf Hitler]]'s secretary, Traudl Junge (while admitting that Hitler was evil) said that he was "a pleasant boss and a fatherly friend". Since there are few -if any- [[Card-Carrying Villain|Card Carrying Villains]] in reality, Hitler's [[Pet the Dog]] moments actually made him more terrifying.

** He should be, she practically ''[[Lonely Rich Kid|raised him.]]''

* The 2005 MTV show ''Boiling Point'', secretly set up people to see how long they could remain civil to people who were being unreasonable with them.

* Prince Albert, husband of [[Queen Vicky|Queen Victoria]], was gracious to everybody he met. There is one biography of the Queen which notes that the palace servants all loved Prince Albert; if he walked into a room where the maids were scrubbing the floor, he would take off his hat and smile and apologize for disturbing them.

* Caused a minor scandal during the 2004 US Presidential election when John Kerry called one of his Secret Service detail a SOB after the latter ran him over while they were snowboarding.

* On a similar note, if your pizza delivery guy is prompt and polite, tip him more than 50 cents. Delivery drivers tend to move even FASTER when they know they'll get a good tip, whereas if they know you'll stiff them, they might make a stopover on the way to your house to get an oil change, do some grocery shopping, maybe solve world hunger so that you never order from them again, ''you cheap bastard.''

* [[George Clooney]] has a reputation of being very good to the crews on his sets, to the point where he once got into a physical scuffle with a director who was being verbally abusive to a worker.

* [http://notalwaysright.com/navy-seals-fate-is-sealed/8575 This] little interaction between a Navy Lieutenant and the waiting staff at a restaurant. Never has [[Laser-Guided Karma]] been so sweet to hear about.

* Uwe Boll, of all people, is apparently a surprisingly pleasant and undemanding guy to work for on set.