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Oh Wait, This Is My Grocery List: Difference between revisions
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Old comedic villain trope that isn't used too much anymore.
Basically, the "villain" writes down their master plan onto a piece of paper.
* Step One: Take over power plant.
* Step Two: Get rid of heroes.
* Step Three: Take over country.
etc.
Well, they got Step One done, but forgot what Step Two is. So they reach into their pocket, pull out a list, and more or less go....
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Not to be confused with [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick]]. Except in the most literal examples.
See also [[Script Swap]].
{{examples}}
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* In Jane Austen's ''[[Northanger Abbey]]'', Catherine finds some papers just before the light goes out. Having read far too many Gothic novels, she is horrified with the possibilities. And morning reveals it was a laundry list. At the end of the novel, to escape the problems of a [[Parental Marriage Veto]], Austen has the hero's sister marry a nobleman, and the hero's father is so pleased that he approves the hero's marriage. She then asserts that the nobleman was the one who left the laundry list, and therefore she wasn't introducing a new character at the end to act as a [[Deus Ex Machina]].
* Happens to the Prime Minister in ''Minidoka: 937th Earl of One Mile Series M'' by [[Edgar Rice Burroughs]]. Having written his speech on the back of his wife's recipe book, he drops his notes. When he picks them up, he accidentally begins reading the recipe rather than his speech.
* Used as a bluff in ''[[Witch and Wizard]]'':
{{quote|'''Whit:''' "But you gave them the map."
'''Sasha:''' "It wasn't a map, it was just a list of things I had to do once I got back to base." }}
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== [[Live Action TV]] ==
* In ''[[Spin City]]'', vice mayor Charlie's friends at the office come to do an intervention to make him stop betting money on football games. Paul starts reading from a list of arguments, which turns out to be a chili recipe. "Charlie, I want you to know how much you mean to me. 'One pound of ground meat....'"
* ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' has an odd version; the [[Affably Evil]] Mayor does not actually keep them on separate lists, making it almost literally [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick]] : Meet with the PTA, Boy Scout awards ceremony, Become invincible, Haircut.
** Shouldn't the haircut be [[Fridge Logic|before]] becoming invincible?
*** In Sunnydale? Are you kidding? The barbershop will probably be run by demons with scissors for hands. In that town, the question is really why 'become invincible' is THIRD on the list.
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* Frankie Boyle on ''[[Mock the Week]]'': "Eggs, Tea, Bread, Rich Tea biscuits.. Are you sure this is the right list Mr. Schindler?"
** Hugh Dennis: "Milk! Bread! Germoloids! I believe...I have been reading from the wrong piece of paper."
* Variation in an episode of ''[[That '70s Show]]'' where stoner Leo falls in love with Kitty and sends her a bouqet of flowers with a note reading "Roses are red, Violets are blue [[Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny|eggs, milk, butter]]"
* In an episode of ''[[Keeping Up Appearances]]'', Hyacinth Bucket announces she has a list of demands from the Women's Institute written on the back of a voucher for 20 pence off golden syrup, and immediately afterwards reads the first demand as "20 pence off golden syrup".
* Variation in a ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' sketch. Graham Chapman plays the role of a policeman who intrudes on two guys having lunch, claiming he's got a warrant to search the premises. After a brief awkward silence, Graham produces a paper bag from his pocket, drops it on the table, and begins loudly declaring that he has discovered a bag which may indeed contain illicit substances. Eric Idle searches the bag to find... a sandwich. Dismayed, Graham looks at the camera and inquires, "Blimey! Whatever did I give the wife?"
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* Inverted in an episode of ''[[The Nanny]]'' in which Fran picks up an old piece of paper from Maxwell's desk: it's from an original Shakespeare manuscript, specifically "Hamlet, Prince of Denmark". Fran's reaction is "If he wants Danish ham, why can't he just say so?" and she goes shopping with the MS page as her list. {{spoiler|And gets mugged.}}
* Variation in ''[[Wizards of Waverly Place]]'' episode "Future Harper". Max reads a printout from a writer who is writing books that feature the Russos' life story: "Bread... eggs... milk... this is the worst story ever."
* ''[[How I Met Your Mother]]'' gives us the following example:
{{quote|'''Marshall:''' [looking for his password] Jelly beans, fluffernutter, gummi bears, ginger snaps- this is a grocery list.
'''Robin:''' For who, a witch building a house in the forest?
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* At the beginning of one episode of ''[[MASH]]'', Blake asks Radar to read a list of everything the camp is running low on because their supply line got cut. After Radar finishes the list, Blake tells him to brief the other officers on what areas of rationing they'll be in charge of, and he starts reading the first list again. Then he stops, flips the top page of his clipboard out of the way, and reads the real second list.
** In another episode, Colonel Blake is directing Trapper out of a minefield using what he thought was a map of the mines - but actually turns out to be a map of WWII Germany. Cue an [[Oh Crap]] moment when they realize that Trapper is inches away from stepping on a mine.
* In the episode of ''[[The Slammer]]'' where the Governor loses his memory, he introduces the next act as "a pint of milk, a bag of bin liners and three scratch cards". His nephew then tells him to turn the card over.
* In [[Kenan and Kel]] when the Hammer escaped prison and wanted revenge on Kenan.
{{quote|'''Police''': We found this list in his cell.
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== [[Music]] ==
* The immortal [[Anna Russell]] used this in her "Introduction to the Concert (By the Women's Club President)", in which her character introduces "that magnificent pianist, Miss ... er ... Miss Hamburger." It's well worth listening to, if you can find it.
* When [[Rush]] got inducted into Canada's Music Hall of Fame, Alex Lifeson's speech consisted of "Uh-oh...three dozen eggs, two liters of milk and about 150 Valiums."
== [[Radio]] ==
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== [[Web Comics]] ==
* Not quite, but almost: In [http://scarygoround.com/index.php?date=20021206 this installment] of ''[[Scary Go Round]]'', the Devil makes an appearance. He's evidently looking at the right note; just misreads it: "Excuse me. Ryan Beckwith? I believe you owe me your soup. Oh, wait, no, can't read my own writing. ''Soul.'' You owe me your soul."
* Happened in [http://www.clichequest.com/index.php?pos=310 this] ''[[The Noob]]'' page.
* Particularly odd example in [http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=827#comic this] ''[[Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]]'', and another one [http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=1350#comic here].
* In an ''[[Adventurers!]]'' sidestory, the evil Miguel proclaims that he will "defeat chicken sandwiches" before realizing that his speech and grocery list got mixed up.
* ''[[Exterminatus Now]]'' managed to ''fuse'' this trope with a (not very) [[Badass Creed]].
{{quote|'''Code of the Demon Hunters''': Demons are bad. Kill demons. Also, remember milk, cereal, and bread.}}
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** ''[[Aladdin (Disney film)|Aladdin]]'' villain Mechanicles was fond of doing this. On reading the list Iago remarked "This guy's serious!"
* ''[[Mighty Mouse]]''
* ''[[Looney Tunes]]''
* ''[[Kim Possible]]'': Found in [[The Movie]], wherein Drakken plays "the trading game" with bad guy Big Daddy Brotherson and initially receives the man's grocery list; also found in the Season 4 opener, where Professor Dementor drops his list at one location, making it easier for Kim and Ron to find him in the next.
* ''[[The Critic]]'': Subverted through overuse- When Jay Sherman's Iraqi captor intends to hand him anti-American propaganda to read on live television, he ends up giving Jay a letter to the Urkel fan club, a personal ad, and an invitation to a kegger.
* In ''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]'' episode "Cape Feare," Sideshow Bob writes a list of his diabolical plans [[Couldn't Find a Pen|in his own blood]] and ends it with "Buy corn holders". ''Then'' he starts writing a letter to "Life in these United States" before passing out.
** "Use a PEN, Sideshow Bob!"
** Subverted by ''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]'' - When Bart and Milhouse were left in charge of Comic Book Guy's store, Milhouse read out his instructions (chocolate malt balls, doughnuts, etc). Bart dismissed this as his grocery list, but no, it was indeed his instructions.
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** "A floating shopping list!" "I'm not a shopping list... I'M A GHOOOOOOOOOST!"
** "Let's see... go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work... oh wait. This is my weekday list."
* An example shows up in an episode of ''[[Phineas and Ferb]]'' when Major Monogram is relating to Agent P a list of suspicious items that Doofenshmirtz has purchased. As soon as he reads off "blood sausage", he cites this trope word for word.
** Made more amusing by the fact that, given some of Doof's prior schemes, blood sausage wouldn't have been outside the realm of possibilities.
** The hybrid list idea is done with "big laundry".
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