Pirates of the Caribbean/Funny: Difference between revisions
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** And, immediately afterwards, "Hold up there, you! It's a shilling to tie your boat up at the dock!" (cut to mast sticking out of the water next to the dock)
** Awesomely called back in the third film. Jack appears on the mast of the ''Pearl'', ''riding his ship across a desert.'' Made absolutely priceless as, just as the ship enters the water and the awesome music fades:
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* Just watch anytime Jack Sparrow tries to talk to a woman.
** Especially when they discover the first mate among the crew:
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* During the final battle on Isla de Muerta, Will and Elizabeth skewer three undead pirates together, stuff a lit bomb into the middle one's empty ribcage, then push the three out of the moonlight, effectively trapping the bomb within the pirate's newly reformed flesh. The unfortunate fellow's "No fair!", followed by the ensuing explosion, was magnificent.
** From the same scene:
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'''Will:''' ...At the moment? ''(That has to be one of Orlando's best facial expressions'' '''''ever'''''', ''seriously.)'' }}
* When Jack's crew steals the ''Pearl'' in the final battle.
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'''Pintel''': They're stealing our ship!
'''Ragetti''': '''''...BLOODY PIRATES!''''' }}
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JImcvtJzIK8 "BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE?!?!"]
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** The best part of the above is when Jack picks up his pistol - the one with the single shot he was saving for Barbossa - and ''almost'' shoots Elizabeth.
** And before that.
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'''Jack:''' "Welcome to the Carribean, love." }}
* Barbossa's expression as Jack alludes to him not wanting to kill Will and lift the curse. It just says it all, he doesn't want to listen and is likely going to regret it, but he just has to find out what Jack means.
* This exchange:
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'''Gibbs''': You'll have to forgive him sir. Cotton here's a mute; poor devil got his tongue cut out! So he's trained [[Polly Wants a Microphone|the parrot to talk for him]]. (''beat'') No one's yet figured ''how''... <br />
'''Jack Sparrow''': Mr. Cotton's.... parrot! Same question.<br />
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* The visual metaphor of a "skeleton crew".
* In the attack on Port Royal, Will is confronted by a pirate:
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'''Pirate 2:''' Outta my way, scum! ''(Clubs Will on the head, knocking him out cold)''. }}
* [[Running Gag|Sea turtles]].
* Jack meeting Murtog and Mulroy
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'''Murtog''': I just said no lies!<br />
'''Mulroy''': I think he's telling the truth...<br />
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'''Jack''': [[Refuge in Audacity|Unless he knew you wouldn't believe the truth, even if he told it to you.]] }}
* The following:
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'''Jack Sparrow''': ''You're welcome.''
'''Barbossa''': ''Oh, not you. [[Trope Namer|We named the monkey Jack]].'' }}
* The list of Jack's crimes as he's about to be executed, including "impersonating a clergyman of the Church of England", which elicits a wry grin from a reminiscing Jack.
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** I always figured it was more of a "Well, if he's ''that'' crazy, then never mind," sort of thing.
* The swordfight on Isla Cruces. It's not the fight, it's Elizabeth's reaction to it. She even ''walks'' sarcastically.
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** Made especially hilarious with the audio commentary: According to the writers, everything was going ''great'' that day. Then came Keira, [[Beware the Nice Ones|sweet little Keira]] having an absolute MELTDOWN.
* The part where three pirates are trying to have an honest-to-goodness swordfight on a moving water wheel.
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** And of course, the part where Ragetti, Pintel, and Elizabeth abruptly pause their battle just to stare blankly as the wheel rolls past them, then once it's off-screen they shrug and return to the battle as though nothing had happened.
* One of Davy Jones' crew mates is running with the chest, when Jack throws a coconut and knocks his head off. The head shouts directions to the blind body [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_9JPfqJJ8o (about 2 minutes in)].
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[the body rams against a tree]
'''Hadras:''' ... No, that's a tree. }}
** A little while later, Norrington makes a run for it with the Dead Man's Chest in tow and the crew of the ''Dutchman'' in hot pursuit, only to be brought up short by Hadras, who's currently holding his severed head under his arm. After a tense standoff, Norrington simply tosses the Chest at Hadras- who drops his head to grab it- and runs for it; then, Hadras' body and the other crewmembers stroll off, leaving the very annoyed head shouting after them; eventually, it mutters, "[[Running Gag|Pirates!]]" then [[Lovecraftian Superpower|sprouts crab legs]] to follow them with, grumbling irritably to itself.
* This gem:
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'''Jack:''' ''(Being chased by cannibals)'' AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
'''Will:''' [[Oh Crap|Time to go.]] }}
* And, when asked, "What vexes all men?"
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'''Pintel''': Sums?
'''[[The Ditz|Ragetti]]''': The dichotomy of good and evil? ''(everyone stares)'' }}
** A nice little graduation from [[The Ditz]] to [[Genius Ditz]].
* Elizabeth, dressed as a guy, finds Jack at Tortuga.
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'''Jack''': Come to join me crew, lad? Welcome aboard!
'''Elizabeth''': I'm here to find the man I love.
'''Jack''': (beat) [[Mistaken for Gay|I'm deeply flattered, son, but my first and only love is the sea]]. ''*Gestures to Gibbs: get rid of him*''<br />
'''Elizabeth''': Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow.<br />
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** Watch Gibbs afterward as he quickly tries to drink his flask dry.
** Just after that, when Jack first meets ex-Commodore [[Fan Nickname|Scruffington]]
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'''Norrington''': You hired me. I can't help it if your standards are lax.
'''Jack''': *as immaturely as humanly possible* You smell funny. }}
* *peck peck* *peck peck pe-* [[No Animals Were Harmed|*BANG!*]]
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=== ''At World's End'' ===
* This:
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* Jack [[What Do You Mean Its Not Symbolic|struggling]] to [[Freud Was Right|match up]] to Barbossa'a [[Compensating for Something|'telescope'.]] Made so much better by the looks Geoffrey Rush gave him in the two scenes.
* This little exchange as all the pirates at the meeting give up their "Pieces of Eight".
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'''Gibbs''': Aye. The original plan was to use nine Pieces of Eight to bind Calypso. But when the First Court met, the Brethren were to a one skint broke.
'''Pintel''': So change the name.
'''Gibbs''': What, to "Nine Pieces of Whatever We Happened To Have In Our Pockets At The Time?" [[Sarcasm Mode|Oh yes, that sounds very piratey.]] }}
* "NOBODY MOVE!... I dropped my brain."
** Heck, ''any time'' we have multiple Jacks on screen at once is a hoot.
* Also [[Married At Sea|the wedding]].
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'''Will:''' Elizabeth! Will you marry me?
'''Elizabeth:''' ''(parries sword)'' I don't think ''now'' is the best time! }}
** Then, when Will tells Elizabeth he wants her and asks her what she wants, she says "Barbossa!" and Will just looks terribly confused.
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'''Barbossa''': [[Understatement|"I'M A LITTLE BUSY AT THE MOMENT!"]] }}
** However, he is persuaded:
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* Referring to Tia Dalma:
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'''Pintel''': Right this way, Mrs. Fish. }}
* The Brethren Court [[Bar Brawl|fight scene]].
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'''Jack''': This is politics. }}
** "And so, we shall go to war!"
** "Shoot him ''and'' cut out his tongue, [[No Kill Like Overkill|and then shoot the tongue]]. [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|And trim that scraggly beard]]."
* I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I find the scene where Will, Beckett and Davy Jones are having that little tea party actually quite amusing. Just think about it: A Cthulu-look-a-like pirate captain, blacksmith turned pirate and an evil lord having a nice and tranquil teatime while trying to betray and kill eachothers. [[Shout
* "Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?"
** Cue his actual crew, all bit players most of the time, slowly raising their hands, starting with the midget pirate with no lines.
*** You mean Marty? He has [https://web.archive.org/web/20120710035754/http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0001231/quotes awesome] lines!
* [[Ham
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'''Barbossa''': Aye, but I be holding the charts.
'''Jack''': Well, that makes you...chartman! }}
* [[Ham
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'''Barbossa''': No, What [[Large Ham|ARRRRRRREEEE]] you doing?<br />
'''Jack''': No, what are YOU doing?<br />
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'''Barbossa''': No, What '''AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEE''' you doing? }}
* And after that, Pintel steps in:
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** What makes it funnier is that after Pintel snaps at them, EVERYONE on deck stops and stares at him.
** Arguably followed by a rather Heartwarming moment after Pintel has backed out of the fight:
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* After failed [[Mexican Standoff]], "We can still use them as clubs!" (gets bonked over the head with a gun)
** Don't forget the lead-in to the failure: Everyone points their pistols at everyone else... then they all start laughing... and then they point their pistols at each other again.
** After Jack fires at Barbossa in that scene, Barbossa gives him a look like "You were actually going to shoot me!"
*** [[We Named the Monkey "Jack"|The Monkey]] pulls a pistol on the Parrot, which responds...
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* Ragetti with a fork in his eye (the wooden one). [[It Makes Sense in Context]].
* Jack is swinging around the ''Pearl'' and the ''Dutchman'' on a rope, then comes face-to-face with one of Jones' crew. He looks at the guys belt, noticing something.
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* Jack's incredibly long, detailed, and round-about way of voting during the Pirate Council:
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** This exchange follows right after that speech..
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'''Jack''': Have not.
'''Barbossa''': You have so.
'''Jack''': Have not.
'''Barbossa''': You have so!
'''Jack''': Have not!
'''Barbossa''': You have so and you know it!
'''Jack''': Have not! Slander and calumny! I have only ever embraced that oldest and noblest of pirate traditions. I submit that here now, that is what we all must do. We must fight, to run away. }}
*** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCHrLK82WRc This video makes it even better and completely proves Barbossa's point.]
* When Barbosa and Elizabeth go to Singapore, they are ordered to leave all their weapons with other pirates to gain entry to Sao Feng's hideout. Elizabeth removes a large amount of hidden weapons, including a rather large gun that by all rights, shouldn't fit anywhere... [[Ass Pull|comfortably]]. If you look closely during that scene, you'll see Barbossa look behind her with a rather confused/surprised expression.
* After coming upon Shipwreck island, which contains Shipwreck Cove, and the town of [[Rule of Three|Shipwreck]], Jack realizes how unimaginative pirates are at naming things.
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'''Gibbs''': What did you call him?
'''Jack''':...Larry. }}
* The "Up Is Down" scene. Nearly everyone confused, but still following Jack, while Barbossa just stands there watching everyone.
* Jack's escape from the ''Endeavour'' to the ''Pearl'' with a rope tied to a cannon. For added funny, he sticks a tiny figurine of Beckett inside the cannon.
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'''Jack''': Thank goodness for that because if I wasn't this would probably never work. (''[[Crazy Enough to Work|Fires the cannon which pulls the rope hard enough to catapult him to the other ship]]'') }}
** And then after seeing him go sailing through the air, his crewmembers start looking for him in the water, only for Barbossa to do a hilarious [[Double Take]] when he sees Jack standing neatly on the ''Pearl'''s stern.
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** Don't forget Becket asking how long it'll take for them to be ready to pursue, and is answered by the cracking of the main mast as it falls over from the cannon blast. He doesn't even turn. And then the [[Lampshade Hanging]].
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* After being captured by Sao Feng's men
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** Made funnier by the fact that they had been arguing about who was captain just days(?) before. And later, when they're brought back on the boat, Jack is hiding behind Barbossa.
* Jack proudly saying that he has the key to Davy Jones' chest. Jones then raises the key [[Oh Crap|himself]] and says "''No, you don't''!"
** During their fight when Jack momentarily has Jones trapped [[It Makes Sense in Context|inside a]] [[
*** Jack's scream of terror when a roaring Jones steps towards him [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Oo7VlZPaK4&feature=related is the icing on that particular cake.]
* This exchange:
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'''Jack Sparrow''': [[Deadpan Snarker|You have]] ''[[Deadpan Snarker|no]]'' [[Deadpan Snarker|idea]]. }}
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* After Jack's {{spoiler|failed mutiny}}:
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* Jack's long, [[Big No]]-ish scream when a Voodoo doll of him is thrown off a cliff, leading into a slightly embarrassed silence when nothing bad happens to him.
** Then, he actually does jump, and his scream sounds ''exactly the same.''
* Angelica near the start to Jack:
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'''Jack''': You displayed quite a lot of technique for someone I supposedly corrupted. }}
* While discussing the circumstances of their first meeting:
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'''Jack''': Mistook it was a brothel. Honest mistake. }}
** Which is a nice [[Viewers Are Geniuses]] moment, as, I believe, that was still the era where "a nunnery" more properly referred to a whorehouse.
* And just after that:
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'''Jack''': Speak for yerself. Unlike some who pretend to be, but cannot in fact hold a candle to, I am Captain Jack Sparrow. *proceeds to slash open beer barrels, creating distraction, then stops to drink from an opened wine barrel* }}
* Philip tells Blackbeard to open Syrena's tank and let more air in. Jack agrees, saying "[[Getting Crap Past the Radar|I support the missionary's position!]]"
* Jack looking at the Black Pearl in a bottle...and then jumping back when Jack The Monkey pops up.
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* [[The Stinger]] at the end. Angelica is sulking by the tree, alone on an islet, when the [[Voodoo Doll]]!Jack washes up to shore. Cue devious smirk on her face. Poor Jackie. Poor poor, Jackie...
* Jack and Angelica's faces moving closer... and the music suddenly stops when Jack bails out.
* Jack and Barbossa's raid on the Spanish camp.
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'''Barbossa''': Here's your chance to improvise. }}
** The more I watch the movies, the more I realize Jack and Barbossa are like an old married couple.
** This is followed by Barbossa removing his peg leg to get to the secret compartment in it - which doesn't contain a sword, but rum,
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*** Which leads to a Heartwarming moment when Barbossa let's Jack have a drink.
* What does Jack need for his plan to release the Black Pearl from its bottle?
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* Barbossa confronting Blackbeard: "You are charged with murder, piracy, and the theft of one hairy, well used right leg!"
* Jack trying to lock Angelica in her cabin so she'll be safe. It... doesn't work out too well.
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** She then wings her sword into (and ''through'') the door so the tip ends up about an inch from Jack's face. Nice [[Ironic Echo]] to Will throwing his sword into the smithy's door beside Jack's face in the first movie!
* "Someone make note of that man's bravery."
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* During the climax, just as Barbossa's and Blackbeard's crews are about to start fighting, Jack interrupts and states that it's foolish for the two crews to kill each other over Barbossa's grudge against Blackbeard, so they should just sit back and let the two captains duke it out personally. There's silence, and then one of the Blackbeard pirates nods in agreement and sheathes his sword... and then everyone fights anyway.
* When Jack and another pirate are freeing Philip during the mutiny:
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'''Philip''': [[Take a Third Option|I'm not with you, nor am I against you]].<br />
(''[[Beat]]'')<br />
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* "Mr. Cotton! Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?!"
** Take one:
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** Take two:
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** Take three:
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** Not to mention, he said all of that last bit ''in character''.
* On the deck after rescuing Elizabeth, Norrington is mocking Jack's equipment and then suddenly...
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* At the Pirate Council:
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* There's also Orlando Bloom's "Aarrrr, swash swash, buckle buckle," and Tom Hollander and Johnny Depp's ''numerous'' tries to get a scene done (the bargain upon the Endeavour), which includes Hollander's haughty "I'm trying to ''work'' here," and Depp's "Can't swear in a Disney film, mate. *pause in which the director confirms* ...see, told you!"
* One take of the otherwise dramatic opening scene in ''Dead Man's Chest'':
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** (Governor Swann) "The charge is conspiring to set free a man convicted of... I can't read my own writing." (If you look closely, you can also see Tom Hollander (Beckett) struggling not to crack up.)
** This one ties into Governor Swann's above quote:
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'''Governor Swann''': It's my line, dear.
'''Beckett''': Sorry!
'''Governor Swann''': It's alright. (Jokingly mimes while shaking his fist at Beckett: I'm going to f-ing kill you, you f-ing b*stard...) }}
* Jack's conditions of help: "I shall help you to find the compass, if you'll do strange things to my dog. His name is Tim."
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:Film/Funny]]
[[Category:Pirates
[[Category:Funny
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