Proper Lady: Difference between revisions
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{{quote|''"[The perfect wife] was intensely sympathetic. She was immensely charming. She was utterly unselfish. She excelled in the difficult arts of family life. She sacrificed daily. [...] Above all, she was pure."''|'''[[Virginia Woolf]]'''}}
What is a Proper Lady? Also known as a "real lady", a "true lady", simply a "lady", or an "angel in the house", she's the perfect lady in the Western (and especially Victorian British) mindset, and in that related to [[Yamato Nadeshiko]], who is the perfect lady in the Japanese mindset. The two ideals share many, many qualities. A Proper Lady is like a mythical creature or an unattainable ideal, often referred to, but rarely seen. Actual Proper Lady characters are largely a [[Forgotten Trope]] by now, and modern ones are likely to be accused of being [[Purity Sue
A Proper Lady is a gentle yet strong being, [[Incorruptible Pure Pureness|incorruptible]] and [[Chaste Hero|pure like the driven snow]] and Madonna-like in her virtues. She sacrifices herself for the better of her family, religion, and country. She is intelligent enough to [[Apron Matron|smoothly run a household]], and [[The Consigliere|wisely spends her husband's money]] for the better of her family, never guilty of negligence or selfish frivolity. She possesses the wit, taste and esprit necessary to be [[Socialite|a star of Society]], and never crosses the border of good taste and civility. She is devoted and loyal, never treacherous or scheming. Her manners are never less than impeccable, and her good will and charity are a beacon to those lucky enough to live around her. She is perfectly groomed, likely [[Beauty Equals Goodness|beautiful]] or at least comely (while the female antagonist will be [[Beauty Is Bad|more beautiful]] and [[Evil Is Sexy|appealing]]). However, [[True Beauty Is on the Inside|more important than her personal looks is her gentle smile]]. Because small size is endearing (and allows for protective embraces from her lucky husband or fiancé), she will probably be [[Fun Size|on the shorter side]]. Chances are that she is an [[English Rose]], especially with [[Raven Hair, Ivory Skin|dark hair and fair skin]]. [[Parasol of Prettiness]] is a typical prop.
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She is ''always'' [[Blue Blood|upper class]] and nearly always [[Housewife|married, often a mother]]. She might also be a ''[[wikipedia:Victorian era#Prostitution|redundant woman]]'', in which case she will not be bitter about never getting married, and will instead direct her motherly instincts for the better of [[Maiden Aunt|her sister's or brother's family]]. Lower class women and maidens can have many qualities of a Proper Lady, and should, per this trope and the ideals behind it, aim to be as like her as possible.
There is no upper age limit to being a Proper Lady. Widowed ladies might easily be double-qualify as [[Determined Widow
'''Related character tropes:'''
* [[English Rose]] - another typically British character with similar properties; popular standard for a
* [[Graceful Ladies Like Purple]] - A color showing she's feminine.
* [[Grande Dame]] - a rare subtype is a mature Proper Lady
* [[The Ingenue]] - a potential future Proper Lady
* [[Lady of Adventure]]:
* [[Lady of War]]:
* [[Princess Classic]] - princess counterpart
* [[Silk Hiding Steel]] - A
* [[Southern Belle]] - Southern USA counterpart (see ''bonne belle'')
* [[Spirited Young Lady]] - a little more witty; a little less prim
* [[The High Queen]] - a regent variety
* [[The Woman Wearing the Queenly Mask]] -
* [[Yamato Nadeshiko]] - the Japanese version of the perfect lady
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== Anime and manga ==
* Emma in ''[[Victorian Romance Emma]]'' starts as a poor peasant girl, becomes a flower girl, a maid, and ends up becoming a gentleman's sweetheart. While her background technically prevents her from becoming a true lady in the society's eyes, her angel-like disposition, good education, eventual marriage (although with [[Nouveau Riche]]) and careful grooming should make her one in all but name.
** William's mother Aurelia is a weird case. She has the status and loveable nature of a
* Elizabeth Middleford wants to be this for [[Kissing Cousins|her cousin and fiance]] Ciel in [[Black Butler]]. In fact, Lizzie wants to be this so much for Ciel that in the manga {{spoiler|she hides her [[Little Miss Badass]] side from him, [[No Guy Wants an Amazon|fearing he'd think she was "uncute"]].}}
* Marianne Hamilton, Emma Queensbury, and {{spoiler|Emma's dead older sister aka Francis and Keith's deceased mother}} from [[Ashita no Nadja]].
* [[Axis Powers Hetalia]] has [[Token Mini-Moe|Liechtenstein]], a
* Ed and Al Elric's [[Hot Mom|Hot]] [[Missing Mom]] Trisha from ''[[Fullmetal Alchemist]]''. In all the flashbacks she is sweet and loving to her kids and willing to wait forever for her husband.
** Also, Hughes's wife Gracia and the Armstrongs's little sister Katharine.
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** She could also [[Alternative Character Interpretation|be interpreted as]] just [[Exploited Trope|pretending to be one as a cover]] for her own management skills: she takes control over situations or exerts authority over people while presenting herself as modest, unassuming, etc.
* Amy Dorrit, from another Dickens novel, ''[[Little Dorrit]]'', seems to be a reconstruction, since her father is a former gentleman in debtor's prison who insists on his children's "gentility," while mooching and sponging off all and sundry. Despite her father's twisting of the ideal, Amy upholds true nobility of soul, and ends the novel a figure of quiet purity and strength.
* Katy in the ''[[What Katy Did]]'' novels by Susan Coolidge is a [[Tomboy]] who learns to be a
** The one who taught her to be this is her cousin Helen; she mixes this, [[Cool Big Sis]]... and [[Ill Girl]].
* Agnes from ''[[David Copperfield]]'' is beautiful and good enough to get [[Purity Sue]] accusations.
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* Also in the Austenverse, ''[[Pride and Prejudice]]'''s Jane Bennet. She stubbornly believes the best of everyone, everyone loves her for her sweetness, and she's the only one with enough patience to put up with her perpetually querulous mother. But, like Fanny, in addition to being beautiful and kind, she's also intelligent, rational, and sensible.
* Elizabeth "Beth" March evolves from a [[Fragile Flower]] into this in the second part of ''[[Little Women]]'' {{spoiler|before dying.}} May have taken it after her mother, Margaret aka Marmee, who is this too after having been more [[Hot-Blooded]] in her youth - but with more emphasis in wisdom and strong will than humility and kindness.
** Don't forget Margaret aka Meg, Beth's eldest sister who plays [[Team Mom]] ''and''
*** In ''Little Men'', Meg's daughter Margaret "Daisy" Brooke fits as well.
* Subverted with Maud Lilly from ''[[Fingersmith]]'', who is ''supposed'' to be this but hides a dark secret.
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== Live Action TV ==
* Lady Marjorie in ''[[Upstairs, Downstairs]]'' is adored by her husband and servants, and a
*** Hazel Bellamy is a steel core lady, very refined and composed, although not of genteel pedigree. A rare example of a
* Delenn in [[Babylon 5]] might be a partial example of this. Except she is used to command and not inclined to [[Stay in the Kitchen]].
** She is of course Proper according to the Minbari ideal not the Victorian ideal.
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== Mythology ==
* The [[Ancient Greece|Ancient Greek]] concept of ''arete'' (virtue/excellence) as applied to women matches all the values of the
** The [[wikipedia:Hera|Goddess Hera/Juno]] is the Greek patron deity of women and marriage, so she's supposed to be this; however, considering [[Clingy Jealous Girl|her]] [[Woman Scorned|behavior]] whenever [[Handsome Lech|Zeus]] cheats on her (and man, [[Really Gets Around|does he cheat on her]]), she comes off as a [[Yandere]] instead. Her sister [[wikipedia:Hestia|Hestia/Vesta]], [[Virgin Power|virgin]] goddess of households and families, seems to be more of the real deal.
** Also Queen [[Alcestis]], the only one brave and loving enough to offer ''her own life'' in exchange for her husband Admetus'. Luckily for her, Admetus happened to have an old friend named [[World's Strongest Man|Heracles]], who offered to bring her back from the Underworld... and did so [[Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?|by wrestling]] [[The Grim Reaper]].
== Theater ==
* ''[[Pygmalion]]'' and the later version ''[[My Fair Lady]]'' are about attempting to groom a poor girl into a lady. It works rather
* Tzeitel from [[Fiddler on the Roof]].
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* [[Final Fantasy IX]] gives us Princess Garnet Til Alexandros, AKA Dagger, whose a demure little princess when she's not being a not a [[Rebellious Princess|rebellious one]].
* Schala in ''[[Chrono Trigger]]'', and Riddel in both ''[[Radical Dreamers]]'' and its [[Spiritual Successor]] ''[[Chrono Cross]]''.
* Some of the [[Multiple Endings]] in the ''[[Princess Maker]]'' franchise invoke this, if your daughter's skills fall on the domestic side (high conversation, temperance, cooking and cleaning). Specially obvious in the "[[media:
** The Queen of the land in PM 2 is an older version of the trope. In fact, to meet her you must have ''very'' high temperance, which is obtained only through housework.
** Also Marthia, who crosses it with [[Shrinking Violet]].
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* The Virgin Mary is presented as the epitome of this trope, she being the perfect mother figure (indeed, the mother of Jesus Himself and [[Team Mom|spiritual mother]] to all His followers) and all. She's presented as [[Beauty Equals Goodness|beautiful and graceful]], humble, chaste, wise, and altruistic. She is held up as the perfect woman, and many Christian girls (especially Catholic ones) are encouraged to be more like her.
** Many female Catholic saints also qualify, although many others do subvert. Notably, along with Virgin Mary, they actually were an important part in forming this ideal.
* [[wikipedia:Princess Elisabeth of Hesse and by Rhine (
* An agency in London gave lessons on how to be a Proper Lady called the "Princess Prep" workshop.
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