SCP Foundation: Difference between revisions
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{{quote|Someplace perfectly dark, with the sound of breathing ''very'' close by. After that he asked if he could carry a flashlight at all times.
Someplace with moldy corpses all over the ground. Wait, did I say corpses? Because they were breathing.
A cave, which, upon exiting, 507 noticed two huge suns in the sky. [[Oh Crap|The suns blinked, and looked at him.]]
[[Madness Mantra|"So many spiders."]]
The dark place again. The flashlight revealed the breathing to be a man leaning into 507's face so close as to almost be touching him. He had a black suit, black shades, and a [[Slasher Smile]]. "Back so soon?"
The place with telepathic plant life that screamed in his head when he picked something to eat. And then remembered his when he came back, and screamed in his head for days, so that he ''really'' needed a hug afterwards.
He also is deeply paranoid of the Foundation, {{spoiler|justifiably so, given the Foundation ended up dissecting or torturing one of his alternates who accidentally revealed he wasn't from this universe}}. }}
** Presumably, Procedure 110-Montauk.
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* [[Mundane Utility]]: So many.
{{quote|''"It has come to the attention of the higher level personnel that someone has been stealing [http://scp-wiki.net/scp-283 SCP-283] for use as a paperweight."''
''"It has come to my attention that several personnel have used [http://scp-wiki.net/scp-041 SCP-041] as a ad-hoc 'she likes me/she likes me not' detector. [[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?|This is one of the most appalling things I've ever heard.]] Are we safeguarding potentially world-destroying objects or are we in third grade?"''
''"I would like to remind all personnel that [http://scp-wiki.net/scp-038 SCP-038] is not, I repeat, not a toy. It should not be used for cloning car keys, movies, music or items from the vending machines."''
''If I see you one more time using [http://scp-wiki.net/scp-105 SCP-105] as a device to [http://bash.org/?4281 punch or stab people over the Internet,] I will personally make sure you spend the rest of your days at SCP in Keter duty.'' (mind you [http://scp-wiki.net/scp-670 SCP-670] would arguably do a better job.)
''Note to all male staff: any attempts to place genitalia in the small end [of [http://scp-wiki.net/scp-786 SCP-786]] will result in termination and loss of employment. — Dr. Clef ''
''Note from Dr. Klein - SCP personnel below Level 3 are now banned from handling [http://scp-wiki.net/scp-500 SCP-500]. This is not to be used to cure a hangover. Get AIDS and then ask permission.''
** Sometimes the organization actually does it themselves, like moving [http://scp-wiki.net/scp-294 SCP-294] to the break room to save money on drinks<ref>This [[Gargle Blaster|inevitably]] lead to a requirement for security clearance</ref>. }}
** A large portion of the [http://scp-wiki.net/log-of-anomalous-items anomalous items] recovered that have not been destroyed are either in use at various sites or in the offices of various researchers.
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** Also, [http://scp-wiki.net/chowderclef "Chowderclef"] is an official [[Retcon]] of all of Dr. Clef's quirky escapades...sort of. [[Word of God|Clef (the writer)]] ultimately decided to be ambiguous about it and let readers decide for themselves whether or not the escapades still count.
* [[Shout-Out]]:
{{quote|[http://scp-wiki.net/incident-239-b-clef-kondraki Butterflies?] [[Dissonant Laughter|[Manic laughter]]]. [[Patton|Konny, you]] [[Magnificent Bastard]]! [[Patton|I've read your…]]
[Another male voice is heard saying, [[Jaws (film)|"Smile you sonovabitch!"]].] }}
** Another:
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{{quote|We don't need no more:
1. Things What Let You Fight Good, Guyz What fight good, heck, anything involved with Fightan Good.
2. [[Reality Warper|Reality Bending]] pplz what can make the world change with their mindz.
...9. Things what are really pretty pplz whom everyone lieks. }}
** There's also the [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-foundation-the-movie SCP Foundation movie.] The fact that [[The Room|Tommy Wiseau]] and [[Win Ben Stein's Money|Ben Stein]] are in it should already be setting off alarms in your head.
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