So You Want To/Avoid Writing a Mary Sue: Difference between revisions

You have a cool/sexy/sweet/etc. original character you want to put in a story, whether it's a [[Fan Fiction]] or an original story. But you aren't sure whether your character rises to the level of a [[Mary Sue]] or not. Perhaps you have written other characters this way, or you're concerned that you might have put too much [[Wish Fulfillment]] into the character. Well we are here to help.

 

 

 

The second thing you need to understand is what a Mary Sue is. A Mary Sue is an audience reaction to a series of events that strongly suggests that the author herself is unduly favoring a character by changing other characters or the environment in inappropriate ways. When the audience calls "Mary Sue" on a character, the author has shattered their [[Willing Suspension of Disbelief]]. There are a number of subjective points here, which naturally means that everyone's Mary Sue threshold is different. But it does suggest some places to look.

These sound similar, but they are different. The former is caused by the author not properly communicating. The latter is caused by something that is somewhat out of the author's control. That's not to say that the latter cannot be avoided. There are ways to dodge certain popular Mary Sue triggers.

 

 

Before we go too far, you need to honestly answer this question: why are you here? If you're reading this page for advice, then you probably think you already have a problem. What exactly is this problem?

In general, if you're reasonably old enough to have consumed enough books/movies/TV/other media, you probably have an idea about how a story and characters get put together. The intentional Mary Sue is generally caused by obvious character worship. If you're reasonably mature and versed in storytelling, you can tell when you're clearly reaching into a story and running interference for characters. And if you aren't, then no advice page can help you.

 

 

One of the biggest creators of the accidental Sue is the [[Informed Attribute]]. It is very easy for an author to simply fail to realize that the character that she envisions is not the character that she wrote. [[Fridge Logic]] also gives birth to Mary Sues.

These are the hardest things to avoid. Avoiding them requires looking at one's work dispassionately and considering the implications of what is written, without regard to the characters. Beta readers are a good help for this.

 

 

Triggers are more important to [[Fan Fiction]] than to original works. Most fanfic readers have developed finely honed Mary Sue detectors. Many of these detectors are tuned to specific fandoms. An original character behaving in one way might not be a problem for one fandom, but in another, it would instantly drive a reader away, screaming "Mary Sue!" the whole while.

* Violations of canon. Every canon has [[Magic A Is Magic A|rules]]. If a character starts breaking the rules, readers are going to call Mary Sue very fast, unless there a really good explanation that is given immediately. Villains might be able to get away with it, but certainly not a new character.

* [[Remember the New Guy?|Backstorying in an original character]]. This is always suspicious to the cynical fanfic reader. ''Especially'' if it is a romantic relationship. Speaking of which:

 

 

While triggers are primarily a fanfic problem, there are some for original fiction as well. Politics is a ''huge'' one. Generally, people are willing to accept that people behave according to different political views. But if the author starts running interference, erecting [[Strawman Political|strawmen]] for the main character to fight, then a certain section of the audience is going to cry foul.

This means the author needs to be able to recognize the difference between the [[Straw Man]] version of an argument and the real thing. If she can't, then she probably shouldn't be getting this political in her work, unless of course, the work is intended primarily to promote that political viewpoint and will be sold primarily to that audience.

 

Remember that a Mary Sue comes from a ''series'' of incidents. There are a number of of incidents that can happen in a story that forge another link in the Mary Sue chain. Doing one of these might trigger some people, but it is not in and of itself a problem. Doing a ''lot'' of them, however, can and will.

 

 

One of the leading indicators of certain forms of Mary Sues is one or more characters getting something that she has not yet earned. This could be the respect of her peers, some magical bauble, the love of a handsome, amazing person, or something else that we would expect somebody to work hard for, but for Sue... it just comes.

When a character gets something, make sure that she deserves it. Treat extras as characters in their own rights.

 

 

Many Mary Sues are born from attempting to force something to happen. That is, the author wants a particular plot point or character interaction to happen a certain way. Or more subtly, she needs to build a scene that shows that a character has property X.

Attempting to make a [[Xanatos Gambit]], for example. A good [[Xanatos Gambit]] is usually quite simple: there are two possible outcomes, and either one is desirable to some degree. The more contrived a gambit becomes, the more the author's hand is seen, and the more likely the audience is to see the character as a [[Villain Sue]].

 

 

The author should care about her characters to some degree. But Mary Sues are fundamentally about authoral favoritism. If the author falls in love with one of her characters over the others (particularly for a story about a group), then she's skating on thin ice.

 

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* First and foremost, remember that writing is more than just creating cool characters. Some people like [[World Building]], others like to explore relationships, others prefer exploring a certain genre, others prefer to create something that comes from the deepest corners of their soul, while others prefer to [[Emotional Torque|make the audience]] [[Tear Jerker|cry]], [[Nightmare Fuel|cower]], [[Crowning Moment of Heartwarming|feel happy]], [[Crowning Moment of Funny|laugh]], or [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|pump their fists and cheer]]. Remember, cool characters don't make good stories; it's good writers who make good stories.

* You are writing a story, not building a shrine to this character. Tell a story that your character just happens to be part of.

* Do not always let your character's perceptions and judgments correlate with reality. You as a writer will know what's going to happen, but your character does not. Letting her always 'sense' something's true nature, always guess correctly, or somehow know things she shouldn't, means that you're practically allowing your character to break the fourth wall and have a peek at the script. A character is meant to be a person in her own world, not a player-character armed with a cheat-sheet.

** One exception is when you're writing a highly cynical character suspect a secretly evil character - they will expect the worst of everybody, but remember that cynicism is a character flaw and their suspicions turning out right is just a coincidence.

** However, be aware that having your character die only at the ''end'' in [[Author's Saving Throw|an attempt to appease]] those who might find her [[Sliding Scale of Idealism Versus Cynicism|too perfect to accept and appeal to their "cynicism" thereby]] skews straight into [[Too Good for This Sinful Earth]], itself an eye-rolling [[Common Mary Sue Traits|Common Mary Sue Trait]].

* A number of [[Common Mary Sue Traits]] could be used properly if they are defining elements of the character. [[Friend to All Living Things]], for instance could be done as a take on the [[The Beast Master]]. What makes them [[Mary Sue]] tropes is when they aren't important to the character.

* When writing what a character is like or can do it is important to know the standards of the universe he/she is in. What may be absurdly impossible in one universe may be common and acceptable in another. Play it safe do the research and follow precedence of the setting and its characters.

 

* Don't intentionally design your character to be the soul mate of an existing character, most importantly don't just make her the female version of a male character. She can be similar to an existing character in some ways but, since no two people are exactly alike, she shouldn't be his equal in every way. Also, her being similar to a male character doesn't necessarily mean that he will like her; sometimes when people are too similar or similar in the wrong ways (ex, they are both very stubborn, very temperamental or very egotistical) it can cause them to grate on each other.

** But don't go in the opposite direction and write a [[Relationship Sue]] who makes up for all of the existing characters short comings, tolerates (or fixes) all of his flaws and always knows just the right way to respond to his behavior and bring out the best in him, that's just boring.

** Additionally, flaws are often made or broken by how the other characters react to them. A character can be as objectively flawed as all get-out, but if the people around her ignore her faults (or even admire her for them), then they don't really count as flaws.

*** Nifty trick - a flaw is a weak point in the character's personal armor. [[Attack Its Weak Point|If it just comes up but nobody ever attacks it, what's the point of it being there?]]

* Go light on the [[Jerk Sue|snark.]] It's okay to make your character a [[Jerk with a Heart of Gold]], but do remember the "...With A Heart Of Gold" part. She must have ''some'' redeeming qualities that make the other characters tolerate her.

 

* Every strength has the potential to become a weakness under the right circumstances. If you're character has an enhanced ability, don't just consider the ways that that ability could help them also consider all the ways that that ability could become a hindrance or be turned against them by their enemies.

* Don't give your character skills that aren't important to the story, just because you think they are cool. Even if they don't show up in the story, they are meant to help flesh out a character, not to make her look better.

** Also realize that the higher up you go in education, sports, or any creative field, the more you will hear the saying ''"talent is cheap"''. To be the best of the best you need to literally dedicate yourself to something body and soul, and you need to be working at it ''every single day''. There is a reason not everyone is immensely skilled at even ''one'' thing, never mind the two handfuls [[The Munchkin]] is going for.

* Music talent is okay, but don't make your character the best ever. Don't make it "just naturally talented" either. That happens in real life, but it's such a common Sue trait it's best to avoid it. Just make sure that if your character is really good at singing or playing an instrument, the character has had plenty of practice to hone it. Again, this skill should be at least tangentially relevant to the plot in some way.

*** A character having one perfection can work from a story telling perspective, as long as that perfection is balanced out by flaws and weaknesses in other areas.

* In general, it's best for an amateur author to avoid writing about sex. This is not to say it can't be done, but it takes a ton of verisimilitude and a lot of allusion to make it work. One of the pitfalls of many writers with little to no sexual experience is to make major errors through extrapolation on what constitutes "good" sex.

** Ex: Being light on your feet will not mean you instinctively know how to dance a minuet, but it will make it easier for you to learn.

* Make sure that the skills your character has fit the world she lives in. A medieval girl who knows how to play a lute is plausible. A medieval European girl who knows how to play a magical electric guitar, African drums or the didgeridoo is not. Similarly, if your character has no real reason to know a skill, don't give it to her; for example, resist the urge to give your thoroughly non-Japanese character a katana, even if [[Katanas Are Better]]. Stretching the story to fit in a convenient swordmaster will not help.

 

* [[So Beautiful It's a Curse]] is largely a [[Discredited Trope]] in normal fiction, and that goes double for fanfiction. Don't do it. That doesn't mean your character can't be attractive. Just don't try to make your character stand out by being excessively beautiful (or ugly). Try to make your character's appearance distinct in the details.

** If you want your character to be notably beautiful, make sure it makes sense for her station in life, access to cosmetics and the amount of time she has to apply it. A young prince being handsome and neat is much more plausible than if he were a peasant. Saying that he is just 'naturally' pretty and blemish-free despite endless days of working in fields is unrealistic; make sure his background backs it up.

* Just as being incredibly beautiful is best avoided, incredible details of appearance are best left out too. If you think shimmering, violet hair would be cool for your character, but hair like that doesn't show up in the setting, leave it out. If you write the character well, then exotic hair and eye colors ([[Anime Hair|for the setting]]) are not needed.

* Body figures that are atypical to the setting are best left out as well. You want a slim, but attractive character, go ahead. Just make it ''reasonably'' slim and attractive.

** Could even be used as part of the plot, for example: The character believes in said viewpoint about personal preference when it comes to beauty, but may also have low self-esteem about her own appearance. The villain can be a [[Manipulative Bastard]] and convince her otherwise by praising her beauty, in an attempt to gain her trust, make a [[Face Heel Turn]], and use her as a pawn.

* Fancy, ultra detailed costumes had best fit in the setting. A lot of [[RPG|RPGs]] would allow costumes like that, but ''[[Harry Potter (novel)|Harry Potter]]'' would not. Keep the clothing reasonable to the setting. If you want a minor costume quirk, that can often work far better than a bunch of extra frills.

*** In which case, people might find it more strange or discomforting instead of exceptionally attractive. You'd also have to be prepared to mention ''why'' your character continues to dress in a stand-outish way. Does she have a lot of cultural pride, or has she not had sufficient time to adopt more local manners of dress, or is she compelled or required to dress in the exotic fashion for some reason - perhaps due to being part of some kind of cultural exchange or diplomatic mission, in which case dressing in a foreign style could be seen as "waving the flag," so to speak.

* Colors should be kept tasteful and plausible with the setting and its culture. If a culture only has access to dark red cloth, a character wearing a bright green outfit breaks suspension of disbelief pretty quickly unless there's an in-world reason (i.e., they spend time abroad, or were raised in the manner of another country, or belong to a mercantile family that has access to foreign cloth/dye and styles). If the motif is unspecified, odd, intense colors like bright pink, magenta, purple, and such tend to be noticeably unusual. The exception would be if the character's lack of taste is an actual character trait instead of an unintended side effect.

* Realize that there is a [[Impractically Fancy Outfit|drawback]] to having a [[Pimped-Out Dress]], [[Of Corsets Sexy|wearing a corset]], and putting on anything overly flashy in general. The upper classes were able to get away with this sort of stuff because they had the money and the time for it, and didn't have to do manual labor. The flashiness was used to [[Ermine Cape Effect|signify class and to intimidate others]] - not for being useful. If you are aiming for realism, don't expect your heroine to be able to fight with a sword when wearing a ball gown<ref>unless [[Kicking Ass in All Her Finery]] has been established in canon</ref>, run away from pursuers through a thick forest with her [[Rapunzel Hair]] flowing free behind her, or pass as a peasant without taking her huge bling and showy makeup off first, because stunts like that are just plain unrealistic, and should get her killed. If your character's running around in an outfit that draws attention, it's very likely to draw the ''wrong'' kind of attention... unless that's what you're going for (like a sheltered princess who doesn't realize that going alone in the marketplace, while wearing a lacy silk dress and a [[Pimped-Out Cape|cape lined]] [[Pretty in Mink|with fur]], will make her a target).

** If you're unsure about what might be plausible in a story and it's not too extremely dangerous, try it out. Want to know what type of heels are best to run in without breaking? Try a brisk walk or jog in your favorite pair. Think you're girl can run a marathon in a properly-tied corset? Find someone who sells them and ask if you can try one on, with them helping you tie it. Or, if you can't do it yourself, ask someone who has. The internet isn't the only place you can do research, though the answers could easily be there.

** Note that oftentimes, characteristic actions can be just as evocative, more interesting, and possibly even more relevant to the story than distinctive appearances. If a girl has a peculiar habit of quietly appearing in a scene without anybody noticing her arrival, or a guy tends to scratch his beard when he's thinking, that alone can give a solid foundation for the reader's imagination to build upon, without ever having to mention hairstyle, clothing, the occasional scar, etc.

 

* If your character is a non-human with drawbacks, such as a vampire, don't allow her to circumvent or ignore them unless the series makes it possible. Introducing a plot-device like a magic amulet so she can go out during the day is also very risky, especially when the canon stipulates that no such thing can exist. Even if it can, it could still leave a bad taste in readers' mouths if no one else has such a thing<ref>An exception would be if that item is the [[MacGuffin]] in the story, and it might even be more dangerous for your character to possess it than any benefits it would give</ref>.

* Make sure your character is physically capable of performing her skills. A normal teenage girl would not be able to snap a grown man's neck with one hand, defeat everyone in a bar brawl, or dodge a bullet. Obviously justified in a series with superpowers or magic.

* If there's a [[Big Bad]] in the fandom who always kicks the canon's butts (except in the season finale), your original character ''cannot'' beat them herself. She just can't, okay?

 

* Magic jewelry is okay if it is common in the setting. If it's rare, or is hardly ever worn as jewelry, just leave it out.

* Having a [[Travel Cool|cool vehicle]] should also fit in the setting. If it's rare for the main characters to have their own individual rides, your character shouldn't either. And even if everyone has his or her own ride, your character's should simply be unique, not better than everyone else's. A Bugatti Veyron would be ludicrously unbelievable if applied to ''[[Initial D]]'', for example, because that would be a [[Game Breaker|balance-breaking]] vehicle; a Cadillac Deville would be a much better choice, being a large American car in a setting populated with Japanese sports cars.

* If your character is a time traveller, anachronistic accessories are acceptable. At the same time, always remember the limitations of the era the character is visiting: An analog-capable cellular telephone might work, though not without problems, in the 1950s, and will work in the mid 1970s, but not the 1920s. A gun will work anywhere, in any time, but replacement ammunition could be hard to come by. [[Technology Marches On]] in all fields; even so simple-seeming a thing as a dry cell battery changes over time.

 

* It's fine for your OC to have a significant connection to an existing character, but make sure it's a plausible one and that it doesn't interfere with that characters previously established personality, image and back story (ex: if a character is established as a misanthropic loner who's never experienced real companionship, don't make your OC his beloved best friend from back-in-the-day that he just happened to never mention before) and don't make your OC solely responsible for everything that fans like about the existing character (don't make her the girl who got [[Mozart]] into music or the first person to ever suggest that [[Sherlock Holmes]] get into the detective business.)

* If you want your character to date a main character you like, okay, but be careful. Remember a lot of fans out there want the same thing for their characters too.

** Don't do [[Love At First Sight]]. It can happen in [[Real Life]], but it's still thought of as discredited in fiction, and doing it for an original character will almost instantly get your character labeled as a Sue. Try to pace any relationship for realism.

* Being related to a main character should be done carefully as well.

** If your character is a child of a main character, it had had better be done in a way that makes sense. Being the child of two same sex characters just isn't going to cut it unless it involves surrogates or the setting allows that with some sort of [[Phlebotinum]].

** If your character is the long-lost orphan child of a relative of one of the canon character, consider how they know that they're related. How did they find out? Why do they believe it? Also consider how the rest of the family feels/felt about the character's parent; this may well affect how they react to that person's child showing up out of the blue.

** Also, you don't even have to bother with being a long lost relative if a main character is known to have a large family, or the series is legendary for having new relatives just drop in out of the blue. Just be one of the many cousins/cloned siblings/etc. that character is likely to have.

* Don't have the characters pay unreasonable amounts of attention to this character. If you want your character to be friends with the main characters, then make your character their friend, not their idol (unless you character is some kind of celebrity, but still a full, three-dimensional character).

* Don't have characters act differently around your character. [[Character Derailment]] is another discredited trope, so that also goes double for fanfiction. Characters should react to your character in a way that fits their personalities.

* If a canon character has stated that they don't want children, don't have them suddenly change their mind and get pregnant/knock someone up just so you can introduce an OC in the form of their child.

 

* [[Spotlight-Stealing Squad]] is another no-no. Even [[Canon]] characters are often considered Sues for this (like [[Wolverine Publicity|Wolverine]]), and it goes double for fan fiction. The main characters are where the [[Character Focus|focus should be]]. Keep it on them as much as possible. That way, where there are scenes that need to focus on your character (the introduction of your character, any [[Character Development]] scenes), they will make sense.

* If another character is [[The Chosen One]], that character ''stays'' [[The Chosen One]]. Your character doesn't become the new one instead (unless a story has that happen all the time, as in post-Slayerettes [[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]). Now, if your character is chosen for something else, preferably a lot less significant than a main character, you could get away with that. Or your character could be destined to play [[Support Staff]], like stopping a bullet or something like that.

** Pick ''one'' tragedy to befall your character in the past and build on that, instead a mountain of travesty. If your character was orphaned at a young age, tormented by classmates, beaten and/or raped by a drunken foster father, then ran away from home and turned tricks to survive...at 12 years old, you ''are most definitely'' laying it on too thick. Any one of these can add the necessary angst without going overboard.

** Whatever the tragedy, [[Did Not Do the Research|please be respectful to the real life victims and do the actual research]] ''first.'' Especially if your character has [[Rape as Backstory]], since this is quite the Mary Sue cliche.

** And make sure that your character reacts in an appropriate manner to her tragic backstory, particularly in comparison to other characters; if your character has ''less'' reason to angst (either vocally or internally) than the other characters yet angsts ''more'' than they do, it won't make the reader feel more sorry for your character.

* Avoid having the other characters excuse everything your character does ''solely'' because of her angsty backstory; just because a character has a traumatic [[Freudian Excuse]] doesn't mean that gives her a blank cheque to be a complete [[Jerkass]] to everyone around her, and the other characters shouldn't walk on eggshells around your character because of it. Some characters would not find it in their personalities to feel sorry for your character anyway.

** Also avoid having other characters be attracted to your character precisely ''because'' of all the angsting and brooding she does. Contrary to what you may believe, self-obsession and self-pity are usually not attractive personality traits.

* Any phobia your character is demonstrated as having in the story must not vanish at any point in the story, except when it's a test of strength and bravery - and even then, your character would need lots of encouragement before overcoming her fear and still be slightly hesitant about facing it afterwards. Conversely, don't make this phobia highly insignificant (e.g. fear of lizards, fear of frogs in a frog-free setting) or exaggerated (e.g. fear of water in a story that is entirely set in the ocean). Unless, of course, the point is that your character is particularly neurotic about this "phobia." Fear of dying can also fit into most archetypes, from a soldier fearing his first battle, to a sorcerer worried about blowing himself up with a botched spell. You may want to toy around with this before sticking a phobia into your actual story. After all, death is universal and you probably have at least a little experience with it. Just learn from it and carry it over into your work.

 

* If you want to name a character after yourself, don't try to hide it; just do it. Just make sure such a character has a minor role in the grand scheme of things, and that such a name would fit in the setting. If your name is Emma but you're writing a fantasy character who'd have a "fancier" name, make it "Emmalyn."

* In some fandoms, ''everybody'' has a [[Meaningful Name]]. In others, names are typically ordinary. In some settings, characters have very strange names, or their names are jokes. Sometimes it's a combination. It's best to play it safe and go with the flow.

** That said, language confusion can play a part. A name that means "delightful flower" in one language, might mean "dark blood" in another.

 

* Keep the description simple. As mentioned, one or two standout features can identify a character better than a lot of them. Otherwise keep descriptions of your character simple, or at least as simple as is normal for the story, just enough to know what this character looks like.

* No [[Purple Prose]], unless the whole story is. Getting most of the description is akin to stealing the spotlight. Your character should get descriptions no more detailed than the main characters'.

* The saying goes that every character must have a reason to be in a scene. Make sure your character has an actual reason to be there, rather than just because you want them to be.

* Introduce your character to the story when it's necessary to do so, and make sure she doesn't disrupt the narrative. Your character should seamlessly work her way into the story without fanfare or attention - it's a well-written character that gets noticed, not a red-carpet introduction.

** Also don't have your character look in a mirror just to "justify" sentences and sentences worth of physical description.

* Don't spend entire paragraphs on describing your characters clothing unless that particular clothing is for some reason very important to the overall story or if the description of the clothing is meant to convey something about the character other than her fashion sense (ex: you might convey how a bride feels about her impending marriage by giving a detailed description of her wedding dress from her perspective.)

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Mary Sue Tropes]]