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* When Lone Starr was trained by Yogurt on how to use the Schwartz. He practices by lifting the colossal Yogurt statue. Barf, amazed at this, asks Lone Starr how he did that, which distracted him and made him accidentally drop the statue on his buddy's foot, causing the Mawg to start yelping in pain. Yogurt then takes the ring he gave Lone Star to use to train with and lifts the statue to free Barf. The Mawg's foot was completely flattened.
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''(Barf walks away, howling and moaning from the pain)'' }}
* "FOOLED YOU!"
* During Lone Starr and Dark Helmet's duel:
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* Or, from earlier in the same scene:
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'''Lone Starr''': What does that make ''us''?<br />
'''Dark Helmet''': Absolutely nothing! ''Which is what you are about to become.'' }}
** Even better: depends on how many siblings Lone Starr's father had, Lone Starr and Dark Helmet could actually be former roommates.
* While watching ''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdHGSXmOMqE#t=50s Spaceballs: The Movie]'':
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'''Dark Helmet:''' No no, go past this; past this part. (darts eyes to the side) In fact, never play this again. (sips coffee, then swallows)
'''Colonel Sandurz:''' Sir, it's right here. (to the Operator) Stop.
''[[Breaking the Fourth Wall|They are now watching themselves-right-now.]] [[Mind Screw|Dark Helmet is very confused and proceeds to wave his arm up and down.]]''<br />
'''Dark Helmet:''' What the hell am I looking at? When does ''this'' happen in the movie?<br />
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*** Which sets up a subtle [[Brick Joke]] that pays off right after Pizza the Hutt's death is announced on the news. "Coming up next, Pongo's review of Rocky Five... ''Thousand''."
* And towards the start of the film, where Dark Helmet meets the extended Asshole family:
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''(''Everyone else'' (but one) on the bridge stands up and waves)''
'''Assholes''': ''Yo!''
'''Dark Helmet:''' I knew it! I'm surrounded by Assholes! ''(puts his visor back down)'' Keep firing, Assholes! }}
** The 'Keep Firing' bumped it from amusing to [[Crowning Moment of Funny]].
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** "It's Mega-Maid! She's gone from suck to blow!"
* The diner scene near the end. A [[Alien (franchise)|chestburster]] suddenly, for want of a better phrase, [[Body Horror|bursts out of the chest]] of a patron at the diner ([[Actor Allusion|played by John Hurt]]), and proceeds to do the "Hello my baby, hello my honey" Michigan J. Frog rag. As he exits stage-right, Lone Starr and Barf have only one response:
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* The bumper sticker encompassing the tail end of ''Spaceball I'', which reads "{{smallcaps|We Brake For Nobody}}"
** The one on the tail end of the ''Eagle 5'', which reads "[[Uranus Is Showing|I [heart] Uranus]]"
** The license plate on the front of Vespa's Mercedes, which reads "Spoil'd Rott'n"
* The entire [[Ludicrous Speed]] segment. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk7VWcuVOf0 The whole thing.]
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'''Dark Helmet''': No-no-no, light speed is too slow!
'''Colonel Sandurz''': Light speed too slow?
'''Dark Helmet''': Yes, we'll have to go right to... [[Ludicrous Speed]]!
''(The entire crew gasps.)''
'''Colonel Sandurz''': Ludicrous speed?! Sir, we've never gone that fast before! I don't know if this ship can take it!
'''Dark Helmet''': What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? [[Stealth Pun|Chicken?]]<br />
''([[Beat]])''<br />
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''(Dark Helmet collapses.)'' }}
* The Radar Officer who makes his own sound effects:
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'''Colonel Sandurz''': What is it?
'''Radar Technician''': ''Can I talk to you for a minute, sir?''
'''Colonel Sandurz''': Well?
'''Radar Technician''': ''I'm having trouble with the radar, sir!''
'''Colonel Sandurz''': You don't need that private. ''(takes the communicator and puts it back on its place)'' We're right here, now what is it?
'''Radar Technician''': ''I'm having trouble with the radar, sir!''
'''Dark Helmet''': ''(angrily grabs and throws the communicator away)'' NOW WHAT IS IT?
'''Radar Technician''': ''(normal voice)'' I'm having trouble with the radar, sir!
'''Dark Helmet''': What's wrong with it?!
'''Radar Technician''': I've lost the bleeps, I lost the sweeps, and I lost the creeps.
'''Dark Helmet''': The what?
'''Colonel Sandurz''': The what?
'''Dark Helmet''': And the what?
'''Radar Technician''': You know, the bleeps... ''(Makes beeping noise)''... the sweeps... ''(Makes vibrating noise)'' and the creeps. ''(Makes squeaking noise)''
'''Dark Helmet''': ''(Quietly, to Sandurz)'' That's not all he's lost. }}
** It's funnier since: A, the Radar Technician is played by Michael Winslow, the king of making sound effects; and B, [http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c20/Nekagi/thats_not_all_hes_lost.png the look Dark Helmet had on his face while saying the last line above.]
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*** You're not imagining it. Listen to him say "I'm having trouble with the radar, sir" in his normal voice. You can hear him almost laugh. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXKOsajNZY4 Watch here].
* Dark Helmet playing with his Spaceballs: The Action Figures playset.
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'''Colonel Sandurz''': ''(barges in)'' Lord Helmet!
'''Dark Helmet''': ''(startled, hiding his action figures)'' WHAT!!??
'''Colonel Sandurz''': You're needed on the bridge sir.
'''Dark Helmet''': ''(unfathomably embarrassed)'' KNOCK ON MY DOOR! KNOCK NEXT TIME!!!
'''Colonel Sandurz''': Yes sir!
'''Dark Helmet''': Did you see anything!?
'''Colonel Sandurz''': [[Suspiciously Specific Denial|No sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again]]!<br />
'''Dark Helmet''': GOOD! }}
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* "I'm not shooting this thing! [[Doesn't Like Guns|I hate guns!]]"
** Followed by Princess Vespa's [[Berserk Button]] : "My hair! He SHOT MY HAIR!"[[Hypocritical Humor|*cocking]] [[Dramatic Gun Cock|gun*]] "Son of a BITCH!"
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'''Lone Starr''': Not bad.
'''Barf''': Not bad... for a girl.
'''Dot Matrix''': Hey, that was pretty good for ''Rambo''! }}
* "'Out of Order'?! '''[[Precision F-Strike|FUCK!]]''' Even in the future, nothing works!!"
* The entire "beaming" sequence.
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* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXKOsajNZY4 "Raspberry... there's only one man who would DARE give me the raspberry..."]
** '''''[[No Indoor Voice|LONE STARR!]]''''' *bonk*
** The way Colonel Sandurz blatantly sees the camera approach and backs off...
* The gang trying to escape Spaceball City. One of the stocktroopers shoots at the handle of Eagle 5's side door.
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'''Barf''': I can't, its fused!
'''Vespa''': ''(trying to open the cockpit door)'' What about this one?
'''Barf''': It's locked!
'''Vespa''': WHERE ARE THE KEYS?
'''Barf''': Inside!
'''Vespa''': OH GREAT! }}
* None of the characters ever point it out, but the stuff in the back of the Winnebago includes a large gray fire hydrant labeled "MAWG'S ROOM".
* A definite [[Too Dumb to Live]] moment, when Lonestar tries to knock out a Spaceball guard.
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'''Lonestar''': [In a dubious voice] The [[Star Trek|Vulcan Neck Pinch]]?<br />
'''Guard''': No no no, stupid, you've got it much too high. Down lower, where the shoulder meets the neck.<br />
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** Don't you mean "[[Borscht Belt|Spacebawls, da Flametrowah]]"?
* "I see your Schwarz is as big as mine".
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* The sequence where Dark Helmet embarrasses himself and everyone else is too terrified to contradict him:
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'''Colonel Sandurz''': No sir, we call it "Mr. Coffee". Care for some?
'''Dark Helmet''': ''(Pause for thought)'' Yes! I always drink coffee when I'm watching radar, you know that!
'''Colonel Sandurz''': Of course I do, sir.
'''Dark Helmet''': Everyone knows that!
'''The Crew''': ''(covering their genitalia due to [[Share the Male Pain|an earlier guy who got zapped]])'' OF COURSE WE DO, SIR!<br />
'''Dark Helmet''': Now I've got my coffee, I'm ready to watch radar.<br />
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* Dot Matrix' "Virgin Alarm" activating just as Lone Star and Vespa kiss. (To Lone Star)"It's programmed to go off before you do!"
* In Spaceball City when Barf and Lone Star are [[Dressing as the Enemy]] they find the guards in the hallway in their underwear.
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'''Guard 2:''' And beat the shit out of us too. }}
* Dark Helmet slurping coffee with his mask down.
* Dark Helmet's entrance. It starts out as something akin to a homage to Darth Vader, with Helmet walking past the terrified technicians, with cuts to their freak'd out faces. Through it all, we hear the heavy sound of him breathing. Once Helmet gets close enough to the camera, his breath becomes raspy, and he flips up his scary visor, showing Rick Moranis' face. [[Mood Whiplash]] at its finest.
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* "To join... Princess Vespa and Prince Valium, in the bonds of holy- ''MOLY!!''"
* This dialogue:
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'''Dot Matrix:''' Wait a minute. We need him to get us out of here.
'''Lone Starr:''' Call me an idiot? I'm going back there and explain a few thing to her...
'''Dot:''' Besides, he's gotta sexy voice. He might be cute.
'''Barf:''' Wait a minute, you haven't even seen what she looks like.
'''Lone Starr:''' I know what she looks like. You've seen one princess you've seen them all.
'''Vespa:''' Cute? I know these space bums, they're all alike: fat, ugly...
'''Lone Starr:''' Bucktoothed...
'''Vespa:''' ...beer-swillin' pig!
'''Lone Starr:''' ...horse-faced space dog!
'''Barf:''' Yeah well normally I... ''(tries to get up but still had his seatbelt on)'' Ooh! That's gonna leave a mark.
'''Vespa:''' Now listen you... ''(she's struck by his looks, then shakes it off)''
'''Lone Starr:''' ''You'' listen! On this ship, you refer to me as "idiot", not "you captain"! [[Beat|...]] I mean... you know what I mean! }}
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