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* At DragonCon '06, a question is popped "If you could play any other role on Stargate who would you be?"
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** Made even better by another of the cast having a Spit-Take in the background as he says it.
** And apparently his character agrees, because when he cameos in season 8 he takes the chair with him when he leaves.
* The episode where the Ori are using preparing to use a Stargate to open a blackhole and power a Supergate. The team brings through the "gate-buster" super nuke, to find a Prior standing there, praying aloud.
{{quote|
''(the Prior continues praying)''
'''Mitchell:''' ...sir, you are aware that you are within a thousand kilometers of this device? }}
* "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksbGZl9dggY Window of Opportunity]", specifically the "This is a time loop so you can get away with anything" montage ("In the middle of my ''backswing''?!"). And when Colonel O'Neill is explaining to Teal'c what the phrase "lose it" means.
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'''Teal'c:''' ''(cocks eyebrow)''
'''O'Neill:''' Lose it... It means go crazy. Nuts. Insane. Bonzo. No longer in posession of one's faculties. Three fries short of a Happy Meal. ''(holds up drawing of smiley face)'' WACKO! }}
** And also, when the [[Red Alert|Unscheduled Off-World Activation]] alarms go off, heralding the reset of the [[Groundhog Day Loop]]:
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'''Teal'c:''' You are not the only one who must endure some discomfort, O'Neill.
''(loop begins again; [[Red Shirt]] [[The Door Slams You|opens a door and hits Teal'c]])''<br />
'''[[Red Shirt]]:''' Oh, I'm so sorry Teal'c! I didn't see you there.<br />
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** And the moment Daniel points out to them that they could get away with anything, they immediately get up and walk out of the room.
* Also, Daniel Jackson in the episode "The Sentinel".
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'''Daniel:''' ''(holds up a knife)'' Yeah, which end do the bullets go in again? }}
* Many of the conversations between O'Neill and the various [[Large Ham|Goa'uld]] count as this
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'''O'Neill:''' Ba'al, you know me. Of course I dare mock you. }}
* Much of "The Other Guys", especially O'Neill's reaction to Felger & Coombs' "rescue".
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'''O'Neill:''' ''(staring in disbelief) Look'' everybody, he brought ''Coombs'' with him! }}
** Felger and Coombs arguing with each other:
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'''Coombs:''' You want me to ''shoot'' you? }}
** Future First Prime to Anubis Herak and O'Neill give us this immortal exchange.
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'''O'Neill:''' ''(lying on the floor, in pain)'' You ended that sentence in a preposition! Bastard! }}
** When Felger and Coombs arrive aboard a Goa'uld ring platform, Felger immediately raises his gun, ducks his head, ''covers his eyes with his other arm,'' then slowly turns in a circle while blindly emptying his gun at absolutely nothing.
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_jFSSrtypw One episode has the group in O'Neill's house drinking beer.] While Daniel balances an orange on his beer bottle, Jack explains how ''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]'' are a perfect analogy to the SGC (Burns as Goa'uld). When Teal'c responds skeptically...
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'''Daniel:''' Oh, please, Teal'c's like one of the deepest people I know. He's... SO deep. ''(to Teal'c)'' Go ahead, tell 'em how deep you are. ''(to Jack)'' You'll be lucky if you understand this.
'''Teal'c:''' ''(pause)'' My depth is not relevant to this conversation.
'''Daniel:''' Ooooh, ya see?!
'''O'Neill:''' No more beer for you. }}
* Except maybe "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9HeShH8OBg Urgo]."
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* [[The Straight Man|Teal'c]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka6tvlewO3c telling a joke] in "Seth".
* From "The Other Side"
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'''Teal'c:''' That he is concealing something.
'''O'Neill:''' Like what?
'''Teal'c:''' I am unsure. He is concealing it. }}
* What about Sam pointing out that they can probably never go public with what they discover going through the 'gate?
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'''Teal'c:''' What is an Oprah? }}
* More Teal'c:
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'''Teal'c:''' ''(deadpan)'' That would make all of us. }}
* The abrupt end of Ryac's wedding rehearsal. After a...''spirited'' discussion on gender roles, both sides of the wedding party storm off, leaving Bra'tac standing alone in the gate room.
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* The scene where Jonas Quinn accidentally convinces Teal'c that he wants to take over the world. "No. No conspiracy. I promise." Almost immediately followed by him reaching into his jacket, very ominously, and pulling out... a banana. It's ''Jonas.''
* "The Russians are coming."
* When Daniel has resigned in "Forever in a Day", he walks into Hammond's office to hear Jack complaining about his replacement.
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'''Daniel:''' Deja vu.
'''O'Neill:''' Deja vu.
'''Daniel:''' Deja vu. }}
* Jack and Teal'c trading bodies in "Holiday".
* "What's that got to do with filming a plant?!"
* Most of "1969", with a special mention to Daniel:
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'''Daniel:''' Niet.
'''O'Neill:''' Daniel?
'''Daniel:''' He just asked if we were Soviet sp--... oh. }}
** Also from "1969":
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'''Teal'c:''' [[Brutal Honesty|Slavery. To false gods.]]<br />
'''Michael:''' Right on?<br />
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** The fact that Chakka, Daniel's Unas friend, gives him an incredulous "What the hell are you doing?" look as he does this never fails to elicit laughter.
* Daniel trying to convince Jack that he's subconsciously leading them to the lost city.
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'''O'Neill:''' Following, you, still, not! }}
** When Daniel explains his reasoning Carter remains skeptical because while Jack may well be filling in crossword clues with Ancient stargate adresses, he also answered "celestial body" with "Uma Thurman". Ah, Jack.
* Or how about the time when Daniel was talking about how a robot girl's "attention wanders, it's like she has the mind of a child," while Jack is making faces through a magnifying glass in the background.
* Talking about Anubis' latest plan to be evil:
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** Then, later on, "Yeah, hey, Anubis, this is your agent. You're playing it ''way'' over the top, could you get serious, please?"
* There's a scene in "Ripple Effect" where Asgard scientist Kvasir expounds upon the merits of courage in SG-1's upcoming mission... followed by an abrupt "Good luck" and beaming off the bridge. Daniel comments, "[[Actor Allusion|I miss Thor.]]"
* Vala finding the treasure in "Avalon". In fact, many of Vala's scenes in that episode. "I like your outfit." "Isn't this where I beat you up?" "I haven't been this disappointed since Daniel and I had sex!"
* Daniel in "Bad Guys" -- they're supposed to be holding people hostage, and Daniel's pretending to be the leader.
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'''Negotiator:''' ''(shocked)'' I'm sure the hostages would disagree with you.
'''Daniel:''' Why? We're not gonna hurt them. ''(sees Teal'c staring at him)'' ... Unless you get cute! In which case there's gonna be, uh, killing and... whatnot. ''(Teal'c rolls his eyes)'' }}
** Followed by Daniel losing his cool when two female hostages start fighting over one sleeping with the other's guy. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVbICGqN1os 'Tis hilarious.] Daniel's attitude in that episode in general is just hilarious.
* A masculine Goa'uld super-soldier hitting on Daniel. It turns out to be Vala, but for that minute when Daniel didn't know that, you just can't stop laughing.
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'''Kull Warrior:''' But you are very attractive.
'''Daniel:''' ''(coughs)'' ... What?... Hey, you know, big guy, I'm flattered, really I am, it's just that, uh, you're not my type. And I'm more than a little disturbed that I might be yours. }}
** [[The Reveal]] that [[Samus Is a Girl|Vala Is a Girl]]. Must be seen to be believed.
** The fight between Daniel and Vala is hilarious as well.
** In that same episode is this exchange:
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'''Daniel''': ''(stuns her)'' }}
* In "The Quest, Pt 2", when SG-1 (plus a few others) are being chased by a dragon, which Daniel believes can be defeated by "knowing its secret name."
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'''Vala:''' Darryl... the Dragon...
'''Mitchell:''' How 'bout "Smokey"?
'''Teal'c:''' Perhaps... "Puff".
'''Daniel:''' ''(annoyed)'' Would you just give me a minute? }}
** Then Mitchell hatches a plan to kill the dragon by trying to throw a block of C-4 under it, claming "that's where it's weakest," as if he's an expert on ''dragons''.
** Follow that up with Teal'c making the toss, and the dragon catching and swallowing the C-4 instead. When it explodes inside the dragon, apparently causing nothing more than an urpy tummy, Teal'c is left standing dumbstruck in front of it, eyes slightly wide and visibly gulping. (And if you've watched him for the nine and a half years prior, that sight would be hysterical).
* The scene where SG-13 walks through the Stargate onto yet another foresty planet.
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'''Dr. Balinsky:''' Take the usual bet on that, sir?
'''Col. Dixon:''' Sure. Wells?
'''Airman Wells:''' Abandoned naquadah mine.
'''Col. Dixon:''' Boring. But good odds. Bosworth?
'''Bosworth:''' I'm going to put my money [[Stargate City|on trees]], sir.<br />
'''Col. Dixon:''' Bosworth's disqualified for being a smart ass. I'll go with two-headed aliens. }}
** It didn't hurt having Col. Dixon played by [[Adam Baldwin]].
** Followed by the immortal line:
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'''Bosworth:''' What, again? }}
* When General Hammond tells Jack that they are going to put a Russian officer on SG-1:
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''(beat)''
'''O'Neill:''' I'm sorry, sir, did I just say that out loud?
'''Hammond:''' I told him you'd give it careful consideration.
'''O'Neill:''' And that I will, Sir. But I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna say... bite me. }}
* In "Point of No Return", Teal'c greatly enjoys the vibrating bed.
* Any time one of SG-1 has to impersonate a Goa'uld, such as Daniel claiming to be the System Lord "[[The Wizard of Oz (film)|the great and powerful Oz]]" (the look Jacob/Selmak gives him sells it) and Jack demonstrating his extremely limited knowledge of the language.
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''(and later)''
'''O'Neill:''' I ''said'' kree! }}
* Daniel attempts improvisation again in "Prometheous Unbound", trying to pass himself off as a bounty hunter.
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* Teal'c again, when talking to Tanith, a known Goa'uld spy among the Tok'ra:
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'''Teal'c:''' ''(matter-of-factly)'' The Tok'ra did not wish Apophis to be informed. }}
* O'Neill after hearing about an attack planned by Anubis.
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* O'Neill and a nomad elder having a pithy saying competition:
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'''Elder:''' "No one can be a friend if you know not whether to trust him."
'''O'Neill:''' "Don't judge a book by its cover."
'''Elder:''' "Enemies promises were made to be broken."
'''O'Neill:''' And yet, "honesty is the best policy."
'''Elder:''' "He that has too many friends has none!"
'''O'Neill:''' Ah, but... "birds of a feather."
'''Elder:''' I'm unfamiliar with that story. What lesson does it teach?
'''O'Neill:''' [[Shaggy Frog Story|It has to do with flocking. And... togetherness... and... to be honest, I'm not sure of the particulars myself.]] }}
* When one of the team has to pose as a drug dealer, Mitchell immediately discounts the others as credible actors for this role, including Carter:
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'''Carter:''' Hey! }}
** This exchange is now available as a YTMND [http://cartermarypoppins.ytmnd.com/ here].
* Carter excitedly activates an experimental energy reactor... which causes a complete shutdown of the base's primary power systems.
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* Teal'c explains Jaffa divorce customs.
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'''Daniel:''' And if even that is refused?
'''Teal'c:''' A weapon is required. }}
* Daniel briefing Weir prior to negotiating a treaty with the System Lords:
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'''Weir:''' See, why should I be nervous? Sounds like an average day at the [[Wretched Hive|United Nations]]. }}
* I love that one frozen Replicator from "Reckoning" that falls down when {{spoiler|Daniel stops them all.}} THAT WAS PRICELESS!
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* Teal'c accidentally attending ''Vagina Monologues''. The sheer unexpectedness of scene, and the look on Teal'c's face, was just hilarious.
* From the Season 6 episode "Unnatural Selection":
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'''O'Neill:''' The name I suggested.
'''Carter:''' For the ship?
'''O'Neill:''' Yeah.
'''Carter:''' Yeah. Sir, we can't call it the ''[[Star Trek|Enterprise]]''.<br />
'''O'Neill:''' Why not? }}
* In episode 10.15, "Bounty", Vala has accompanied Mitchell back to Kansas for his high school reunion. Mitchell's left the table for a moment, and his parents get the wrong idea, which Vala does nothing to dissuade:
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'''Mr. Mitchell:''' Serious?
'''Vala:''' Oh. Absolutely! Well, I mean at first it was just sex, sex, sex, in all rooms of the house at all times of the day! But uh, well, once we got a chance to get to know each other, we formed a deeper connection. A spiritual bond, you might say. }}
** What really clinches it is that when Mitchell returns to the table, his father gives him a "you dog" look.
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* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAIigNcwYLc Ronon and his gun.] Sheppard's reaction is simply priceless.
* The [[Running Gag]] with McKay's observations that Sheppard frequently has good chemistry going with [[Green-Skinned Space Babe|Ascended and alien women]] is sometimes a floor-roller.
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** Also, "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yDmPwP26SA You shot me!]"
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'''Ronon:''' He shot me too.
'''Sheppard:''' I'm sorry for shooting everyone! }}
** Or when they're experimenting with the personal shield in season one.
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'''McKay:''' Believe me, it wasn't the first thing we tried.
'''Sheppard:''' ''(proudly)'' I shot him!
''(Weir makes a [[Flat What]] face)''
'''Sheppard:''' In the leg! ''(shrugs)'' }}
* The dialogue between Sheppard, McKay, and passive-aggressive Asgard Hermiod in the episode "Intruder". Sheppard's clear unease around Hermiod, and especially the delivery of "Is he supposed to be naked like that?!" are especially lol-worthy.
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* McKay levels a gun at the two Wraith that stunned his escorts and have him cornered, and yells "You want some of this, huh?!" Then hits the magazine release...
* When Sheppard is talking to the Wraith they've captured, early on in the first season:
{{quote|
'''"Steve" the Wraith:''' I am your death. That is all you ever need know.
''(long pause)''
'''Sheppard:''' I liked Steve better. }}
* Almost every time Todd is on screen. Here's his first encounter with Carter:
{{quote|
''(every marine raises his rifle)''
'''Todd:''' ''(laughing)'' Just a little bit of Wraith humor. }}
* In "The Storm" Sheppard has to disconnect two inconveniently placed grounding stations.
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'''McKay:''' Elizabeth's is.
'''Sheppard:''' And mine?
'''McKay:''' It's a...brisk walk away.
'''Sheppard:''' And by "brisk" you mean "far"?
'''McKay:''' And by "walk" I mean "run."
* "Meredith?" }}
* From "Sateda":
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'''Carson:''' You have an arrow, Rodney. In your gluteous maximus.
'''McKay:''' Oh. Well, that sounds painful. ''(dopily muttering to himself)'' Gluteous... maximus. Glooteeous, maxi-- ''(with mild, drowsy surprise)'' Oh my god! That's my ass, isn't it?
'''Carson:''' ''(resignedly)'' Aye. }}
* This exchange:
{{quote|
'''O'Neill:''' Yes. Yes it did.
'''Woolsey:''' What does that mean?
'''O'Neill:''' Something exploded. }}
** Same episode, after Woolsey asks another string of questions, and Jack finally points out that he's been sitting right ''next to'' Woolsey the whole time, so how does Woolsey expect ''him'' to know any more than he does?
* The episode "Brain Storm", where Rodney attends a scientific conference -- and is bullied by Bill Nye and Neil deGrasse Tyson ("from TV"). Also, the running gag of people assuming Keller is Rodney's sister.
** Pretty much that entire episode counts.
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** McKay to [[Pluto Is Expendable|Neil deGrasse Tyson]]: "Hey, at least I didn't declassify Pluto from planet status. Way to make all the little kids cry, Neil. That make you feel like a big man?" [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me3-r5rsUSI SO. GOOD.]
* Harmony steals Shephard's chocolate, blames Rodney and pretends to cry.
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* Eli's running commentary of the [[Apocalyptic Log]] in "Time", but particularly:
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'''Video!Eli:''' Where are you going! You're crazy! He's crazy!
''(cut back to the crew watching the video)''
'''Eli''': ''(turns to Rush)'' You are!
'''Rush:''' ''(shrugs)'' }}
* Also in the episode "Earth", in the first glitch with the communication stones. Colonel Young is having sex with his wife, when suddenly he and Telford switch consciousness for a few seconds, right at *ahem* a very important part in the action. When they switch back again, it goes something like this:
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'''Telford''': O__O
'''Scott''': Sir? Sir?
'''Telford''': *blink* }}
* In "Divided", the communication stones are used to bring a doctor from Earth. She becomes increasingly mortified by the weird conditions on the ship (alien venom as an anesthetic, a makeshift fiber optic camera made from a hovering camera ball, and the fact that the ship is being attacked). TJ simply responds, "Welcome to ''Destiny''." Hmm, that has a [[Everworld|certain ring to it]].
* Chloe tries to justify having picked up archeology to Colonel Young, with Eli's help.
{{quote|
'''Chloe:''' Stratification!
'''Eli:''' That's good.
'''Chloe:''' Thank you. }}
** Counts as an ''in-universe'' CMOF, as their rather long and awkward string of justifications ends with Young chuckling to himself once they leave the room.
** Later on, Eli claims that he called Greer out for being afraid as a joke. Because he thought that they were on that level in their relationship.
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'''Eli:''' What are you, scared? ''(Greer gives him a stare)'' That was a joke. I'm sorry, I must have mistakenly thought we were on that level now. You know, friends who can kid each other like that? ''(Greer removes shades and switches to a full blown death stare)'' Please don't kill me? }}
** Same episode, when the away team have to call in a rescue team due to the aftermath of {{spoiler|a spider attack}}, and having to explain it to Young.
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* O'Neill is good for these.
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'''O'Neill:''' I know what makes ''me'' special. }}
* Greer vs. Alien Fruit. Both times ("Justice" and "Faith"). The first time, he pretends the "alien sweet potato" tastes delicious (which was a little too generous). The second time, he eats a completely random fruit to the horror of the rest of the off-world team.
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'''Greer:''' ''(deadpan)'' We will. }}
* Greer vs. Alien Wildlife. "Is it something we can barbecue?"
** Then again, in "The Hunt": Greer and Varro are carrying a wounded corporal back to the gate. They suddenly see a "space deer". Next scene: "Becker's Barbecue" on Destiny.
* Eli and Young's exchange about the returning crew members' explanation in "Visitation".
{{quote|
'''Young:''' "Turn the mic back on." -- Winston Churchill }}
* Apparently, Young starts to get how to make Eli understand what he wants (from "Resurgence"):
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* Volker on seeing the alien ship in "The Greater Good":
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* In a later episode, when Rush dryly comments on their status, Brody joins in:
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'''Volker & Brody:''' ''(sarcastically, in unison)'' Yaaaay. }}
* The Kino mini-episodes can be full of funny:
** "We... turned him purple."
** Eli taking a Kino on a tour of the ship and getting lost.
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** Scott catching people watching ''[[South Park]]'' when they should be exercising, and how they get him to go away:
{{quote|
'''Eli:''' Really? Funny, because there's a protein bar here that says you can't.
''(Scott runs off, everyone goes back to watching'' [[South Park]]'')'' }}
* When Brody attempts to turn off [[Also Sprach Zarathustra]] in "Hope", the Numa Numa song comes on.
* This:
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'''Eli:''' ... You've been pretty consistent. }}
* Pretty much the entirety of "Common Descent" and "Epilogue," at least the parts that weren't [[Crowning Moment of Heartwarming|Crowning Moments Of Heartwarming]].
{{quote|
'''Eli:''' ... Futura.
'''Volker:''' ...what the hell kind of name is Futura?
'''Brody:''' What's wrong with Futura?
'''Eli:''' Well, they say that you ''(indicates Brody)'' came up with it. }}
** When everyone realizes where Yaozu's little words of wisdom come from.
{{quote|
'''Everyone Else:''' ''(awkward silence)'' }}
** More Futura humor.
{{quote|
'''Park:''' Isn't that a font?
'''Brody:''' Will you shut up about the name? }}
** The [[Pair the Spares]] moment.
{{quote|
'''Chloe:''' You know... if you want to pursue that? }}
** One of the last Kino recordings is of Brody... complaining.
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* Daniel, trying to tell the villagers that their food [[Tastes Like Chicken]] over the language barrier, actually imitating a chicken. ''Bawk bawk bawk''...
* Colonel O'Neil trying to use pantomime gestures to ask the kids where Daniel Jackson is, while the kids, not understanding what he's trying to do, instead repeat all the gestures back as a game. To top it all off, when they finally understand him, they show that they know who he's talking about by ''bawking like chickens''.
{{quote|
* "He's inviting us to go with him." "How do you know that?" "Because he's *gestures* inviting us to go with him."
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* I thought it was hilarious when Vala gets all nervous after being ''caught'' with Tomin by Daniel. The look on her face is priceless!
* Even when Marrick is the victim of the Replicators {{spoiler|it was all his own fualt of course}}. Mitchell can't help but tell him how was of an ass he is.
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* How else do you end an action-packed Stargate movie?... With macaroons, of course!
Line 364:
* Despite being reduced to a minor cameo role, O'Neill is still as funny as ever.
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** Three hours into the extraction ceremony...
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** Then discussing Vala's disappearance.
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* Alternate Teal'c and Ba'al are very funny.
{{quote|
'''Ba'al:''' No, you idiot, save me! }}
* Daniel speaks desperately in Russian over the radio.
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'''Daniel''': We're Americans, please shoot the people chasing us! }}
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