Stuart Ashen: Difference between revisions

Dr. Stuart Ashen (yes, a real doctor; of psychology, no less), or simply Dr. Ashen, is the premier source on [[YouTube]] for reviews of [[Shoddy Knockoff Product|Shoddy Knockoff Products]] — primarily electronics. He also reviews equally horrible retro British games in a series called ''Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of''. He has also created two small series of comedy videos for the BBC Comedy Extra website, named ''Ashen's Tech Dump'' and ''Back Space''.

 

 

 

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* [[Ascended Meme]]: After someone did a Gentlementlemen [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtvx8TBA5EM remix] of his Retieval Review, he was heard humming it in a later video and put an annotation link to it.

* [[Author Vocabulary Calendar]]: "Sprue," meaning those little pieces of plastic that come off the mold for a toy or something similar. He himself admits he has no idea how he came to know the word.

* [[Berserk Button]]: Lanyards. They set him off because every piece of retro tat comes with one. "They're a waste of the planet. The campaign starts here." Incidentally, his way of getting rid of them seems to be [[Hypocritical Humor|selling them with his DVD]].

** Forms of patronizing marketing also manages to piss Ashen off. He expressed his displeasure at the Flip Video's slogans plastered all over its packaging, and actually refused to properly review a set of Carpenter earbuds due to the pretentious-sounding description on the back of its box, especially with its [[Incredibly Lame Pun|incredibly lame]] would/wood pun.

* [[The Board Game]]: He has reviewed several board game adaptations of computer and arcade games.

* [[Body Horror]]: The [[Fight Club]] action figures, which have limbs twisted around the wrong way and faces painted on wrongly. Apparently, it can spread.

* [[Broke the Rating Scale]]: In playing the ''Turbo'' boardgame with [[Guru Larry]], he manages to come in third place... out of two people playing.

* [[Buffy-Speak]]: From his Barcode Battler review after he realised the device needed new batteries.

* [[Curse Cut Short]]: Chef Excellence at the end of "An Excellent Newsflash".

* [[Cuteness Proximity]]: Whenever he brings one of his pets onto the show, he tends to act especially cute with them, in a weird way--such as looking for his dog, Oscar ("Where's Oscar-dog? ''There he is!'') so he can [[Poke the Poodle|poke him]], or asking his guinea pig if he's going to [[It Makes Sense in Context|going to turn into a god-monster.]] "Yeees! Are you going to go on a rampage? Yeees!"

* [[Deadpan Snarker]]: He doesn't hold anything back against the "products" he reviews. Emphasis on the "Deadpan," too, as he's usually extremely calm-voiced during his inferior product reviews.

* [[Deconstruction]]: ''Realism Fighter'', from Episode 2 of ''Ashen's Tech Dump''.

* [[Drinking Game]]: Dr. Ashen gives one to the viewer in the description of the Barcode Battler video.

{{quote| '''Ashen''': Take a shot every time I say "Right", and "...or something". Alcohol poisoning may ensue.}}

* [[Dual-Wielding]]: He destroys a pair of shoddy headphones with dual-wielded hammers.

* [[Dude, Not Funny]]: By his own account, he's invoked this again and again {{spoiler|and has been keeping track with a checklist}}. This is mostly concerning how people didn't get jokes such as his repeated avoidance of copyright infringement (Considering the youtube community's troubled history with copyright), or his appearance on The Node.

* [[Eldritch Abomination]]: Bort Sompson.

** Referenced in regards to a [[Fight Club]] ripoff action figure whose face has been printed wrongly.

** He used the term again when talking about the Bridesmaid doll in the second Poundland Girl's Toys Special. He said it went beyond "Eldritch abomination" and into "harbinger of the apocalypse" levels.

* [[Eldritch Location]]: The ice field from the ''Turbo'' board game is depicted as such.

** The Poundland Food Special has him barfing in addition to his pound coin eyes. Given the nature of the "food" he's about to eat, it's basically foreshadowing what's to come.

** The 2012 Easter Special replaced "Hello!" with a very unenthusiastic "Easter." It also placed the Easter Bunny into the scene and omitted the googly eyes.

* [[Eye Scream]]: When reviewing a knock-off Darth Vader action figure with a light-up lightsaber, Ashen accidentally shines the light in his eye when pressing the button before putting in the lightsaber. He does not take it well.

* [[Face Palm]]: His [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HFeNYx1kr0 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen review].

* [[Fan Nickname]]: "Bort Sompson" for the nightmare-inducing Not Bart Simpson from the Huge Screen V2 review.

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{{quote| "Oh... I don't know what it is with you people! You're obsessed with sticking things in the wrong slot... hm. Very Freudian."}}

** In his Game.Com review, he accidentally made a Freudian slip whilst reviewing the Batman and Robin game. {{spoiler|Damnit! I've given away the ending in a freudian slip!}}

* [[Gilligan Cut]]: After he had opened a package of promotional ''X-Factor'' instruments (a whistle, a recorder, and a tambourine), he examines the quality of the instruments, then says "I can't see myself making a musical triptych with these". Cut to exactly that.

* [[Harmless Villain]]: The Silver Skull

* [[Jump Scare]]: He reacts to [[Jump Cut|jump cuts]] in a similar startled way as a [[Running Gag]].

** A mild one occurs in his easter special involving {{spoiler|his [[Slasher Smile]]-laden face affixed to [[Nightmare Retardant|an image of a pink easter bunny]] accompanied by a [[Scare Chord]]}}.

** He seems to have a blowtorch now, as he's "killed" a bad-looking [[Harry Potter|Draco Malfoy]] figure, an easter chick decoration and a My Little Pony with it.

* [[Lampshaded the Obscure Reference]]: He has a recurring segment in his reviews, "Quincy: a caterpillar that sings obscure Beatles Songs"

* [[Let's Play]]: His general approach towards videogame ripoffs.

* [[Let Us Never Speak of This Again]]: His final verdict on ''Renegade III''.

** The [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3EU1W4mZLc Doctor Who LCD Adventure Game review] opens with a DIY re-creation of the classic series intro that trails off in the last few seconds.

* [[Limited Special Collectors Ultimate Edition]]: Did a review of several limited editions of video games and the tat that comes with them.

** ''Thinking about it...thinking about it...thinking about it...''

* [[Loophole Abuse]]: Invoked; an art contest he held had, among its guidelines, "no digital entries". So a contestant mailed him a cassette tape.

* [[Marshmallow Dream]]: Subverted in his recording on the JVC Marshmallow headset:

{{quote| "Once, I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my wife was missing and ''everything was covered in blood!"''}}

* [[The Mean Brit]]: Imagine [[Zero Punctuation|Yahtzee]], [[Lighter and Softer|but about ten times less mean and five times slower]]. He's certainly not afraid of snarking at all the stupid things the thing he's reviewing got wrong.

* [[Medium Awareness]]: He notes that the Silver Skull is unlikely to make good on his threat to return because "I get bored of recurring characters very quickly".

* [[Pet Peeve Trope]]: [[Four Point Scale]].

{{quote| "Overall, I give [Karting Grand Prix] 73%. Because I'm a fucking idiot."}}

** He did it again in his Amstrad Penpad review.

** And again in the [[Star Wars]] Action Figures episode, albeit on accident after a crappy Darth Vader toy shined a bright LED in his eye. Borders on a [[Atomic F-Bomb]]

** At the end of his Xbox rip-off review:

{{quote| "''Terrifying thought: You have been watching an idiot talking about a broken toy for over ten minutes.''"}}

** In one of his Poundland specials, he reflects that Americans say "Legos" rather than "Lego" as the plural:

{{quote| '''Ashen''': Maybe that's where the "S" from the end of "Maths" ended up?}}

* [[Shoddy Knockoff Product]]: Mainly POP Stations. So many that the cover of Ashenthology 1 shows Ashen fighting atop a sea of them.

** [[The Room|"I did not hit her! It's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not!]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJXlFcAaSIk ...oh, HaiPad."]

** He goes over his "[[TV Tropes]] Checklist" at the end of A Christmas Mystery Resolved.{{spoiler|..which had "[[Dude, Not Funny]]"}} [[Self-Deprecation|checked 21 times]] and features the phrase "[[Malensky Trifle]]" checked off as well. To finish it off, he decided to [[Literal Minded|literally]] [[Poke the Poodle]].

** To ''[[Mr Benn]]'' in his "3D Colour Games" review. "As if by magic...''ping!''...some Popstations appeared."

** To [[Chriddof]] when he announced the winners of a contest.

* [[Seinfeldian Conversation]]: Lapses into them when dealing with mundane parts of the review (package opening) or intro on whatever is being ripped off.

* [[Special Effects Failure]]: [[In-Universe|Pretty much the whole point of his feature]], ''Top 5 Rubbish Movie Monsters''.

* [[Spit Take]]: In his Easter 2012 special, he eats a "Rieslen Cream Egg" so vile, he ''immediately'' spits it right back out again. He later apologizes for how unprofessional this was, but apparently that egg was ''really'' vile.

{{quote| ''"It's hard to believe that introduction cost 8 and a half thousand pounds to make."''}}

** The Silver Skull's attempts to make it big in jazz fusion.

* [[Subliminal Seduction]]: Brief flash frames are interspersed at random in certain videos, and the exact meaning [[Mind Screw|isn't clear]].

* [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]]: "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obTrhupnqYY I'm not recording this, you know.]"

* [[Take That]]: His famous [http://homepage.ntlworld.com/ashen1/ashen/menu/build/intro.htm no-money computer building guide] is one long build-up to a jab against VIA and ATI.

* [[Timed Mission]]: A video where he set himself the task of reviewing 10 items in 10 minutes.

* [[Uncanny Valley]]: Invoked by name in his review of the PS Vita.

** Discussed in his review of [[Thomas the Tank Engine|the fake Thomas The Tank Engine figures]]. See the show's page for more details.

* [[Unreliable Narrator]]: [http://homepage.ntlworld.com/ashen1/ashen/menu/build/How_to_Build_a_PC.mp3 The audio version of his no-money computer building guide.]

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