39,327
edits
Tangled Family Tree: Difference between revisions
m
Mass update links
m (remove image pickin/quotes page inline comments) |
m (Mass update links) |
||
Line 37:
* The Summers family of the [[Marvel Universe]] is a massive [[Continuity Snarl]] to itself, and is so convoluted that at this point Scott Summers may in fact be [[My Own Grampa|his own grandfather]]. No fewer than four characters in the main continuity of the ''[[X-Men (Comic Book)|X-Men]]'' comics can be said to be the child of Scott Summers, only one of whom (Cable) was actually ''born'' during the timeline of the main Marvel Universe, and none of whom are more than [[Comic Book Time|about ten years younger than their parents]] (including [[Cable (Comic Book)|Cable]], who is, due to the massive amount of [[Time Travel]] in his backstory, at least ten years ''older'' than his parents). Add to that Scott's brother Alex, their long-lost father (the [[Space Pirates|space pirate]] Corsair), and the supervillain-ruler-of-a-galactic-empire Third Summers Brother (Vulcan), and the whole thing is just one big mess. Ironically, Scott started out as an orphan with no known family.
** And it was implied that minor character [[Xtreme Kool Letterz|Adam X the X-Treme]] was the son of Catherine Summers and Shi'Ar Emperor D'Ken. While this origin was never confirmed in the comics themselves, Adam is [[Half-Human Hybrid|half-human]], and Katherine was the only known human woman in Shi'ar space at the time, and the [[Word of God|writer has confirmed]] that intended Adam X to be the half-brother of Cyclops and Havok.
** Add to that the comic book ''X-Men: The End'', which tried to wrap up every single plot that Chris Claremont never got to resolve, and all of a sudden Gambit is a Summers due to being a genetic combo of Mr. Sinister and Scott Summer's DNA. Add to ''that'' the fact that [
** It could be argued that Cyclops is Galactus' father-in-law, although you do have to go through two different alternate timelines to get to that point.
*** This is not an exaggeration, by the way. In the ''[[Earth X]]'' trilogy, it's revealed at the end of the first series that {{spoiler|[[Fantastic Four|Franklin Richards]] is destined to take Galactus' place. And more than one timeline shows that he and Rachel would have fallen in love as young adults had she grown up in her own time.}}
Line 76:
** Add to that the general [[True Companions|familial nature]] of the Rogues, and the fact that Iris Allen is, well, ''was'' raising Weather Wizard's [[It's a Long Story|son]] and the ties begin to bind a little more. Oh, and since time travel's involved, there's a good possibility that Boomer (who's aged normally into his early twenties) is actually [[Younger Than They Look|Bart's]] ''little'' brother.
** It gets even crazier when you throw in the [[Feuding Families|millennia-old feud]] the first two families have with the third, and that a major reason for the feud is due to said families being related in the first place... [http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Allen_Family hope you have plenty of time on your hands and a firm grasp on your sanity, you'll need it.]
* And [[Superman (Comic Book)|Superman]], both in his past (the House of El) and present and several alternate futures: the Superman Dynasty, various clones and half-clones, the [[Goo
** And to make matters worse/better, both the Earth-2 (The original [[The Golden Age of Comic Books|Golden Age]] 1930s version, and Power Girl's cousin) and Earth-22 (The [[Kingdom Come]] version) Supermen stopped by the Main DCU durring the 2000s. One of whom died, and came back as a Black Lantern.
*** Them and half a dozen more: Superboy-Prime (A teenage [[Face Heel Turn]]-ed Superman from 'our' Earth), [[Evil Twin|Ultraman]], [[Final Crisis|Overman]], some future Superman who could be from an alternate timeline...
Line 87:
** Which did, inevitably, eventually lead to two related characters having a child together: Scouter and Tyleet. Although they're only second cousins.
** Family trees turn out to be ''even more complicated'' than the books would suggest. Particularly Rain's primary family tree, which includes ''main'' characters Pike, Rainsong, Mender, Wing, Newstar, Kimo and Sust, and about twice as many ''secondary'' characters.
* The [[Batman (Comic Book)|Bat-Family]] is a (relatively) mild version of this. To sum up, Bruce Wayne has four adopted children: his adopted sons being Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, and Tim Drake (the first three Robins) and his adopted daughter being Cassandra Cain (the third [[Batgirl]]). Cassandra's biological parents are David Cain and Lady Shiva, two of the most infamous assassins in the world and former teachers of Bruce. Bruce also has a biological son in the form of Damian Wayne (the fifth Robin), whose mother is Talia al Ghul, daughter of one of Batman's greatest enemies, Ra's al Ghul; in the [[DCAU]] (and possibly in the mainstream universe) Bruce will also have two other biological sons in the form of {{spoiler|1=Terry ([[Batman Beyond]]) and Matt McGinnis }} via genetic manipulation and use of a surrogate father. Additionally, the Wayne and al Ghul family trees are even more tangled in the [[Kingdom Come]] [[Alternate Continuity|timeline]] where Damian's alternate universe counterpart, Ibn Al Xu'ffasch, is romantically involved with Nightfire, who is none other than the daughter of Dick Grayson and Starfire. One can only imagine the sort of [[Freak
** Batman also had a biological daughter Helena Wayne, aka the [[Huntress]], in Earth-2 continuity (and courtesy of the DCnU reboot, she ended up stranded on the main DC Earth).
*** All of which raises the question: are Damian and Helena counterparts? Because ''oy''...
Line 279:
== Real Life ==
* [http://www.newser.com/story/87448/im-in-love-with-my-grandson-and-were-having-a-baby-new-idea-magazine-yahooxtra-lifestyle.html This] real-life example of [[Incest Is Relative]].
* The family tree of the Julio-Claudian dynasty of the early Roman Empire is just about the closest thing to a real life [[Tangled Family Tree]] as you're going to find, as many very confused first-time viewers of [[The BBC]] miniseries ''[[I Claudius|I, Claudius]]'' have discovered. [
** For example: [[The Caligula|Caligula]] Caesar's paternal grandfather, Drusus, was the son of Augustus's second wife Livia by her first marriage. His paternal grandmother, Antonia, was the daughter of Mark Antony and Augustus's sister Octavia. His maternal grandmother was Augustus's daughter of his first marriage, Julia, who married Augustus's friend, General Agrippa.
** Also not helped by the Romans' love of adopting nephews as sons, sleeping around as much as the Gods, and of giving all of your daughters the same name.
* The Julio-Claudians were pikers compared to a lot of European dynasties a few hundred years ago. The number of times people married their first cousins to reaffirm long-standing alliances or some such was absolutely unbelievable. Even in the modern day, it still happens - Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip are both second cousins once removed and third cousins via different paths. The worst example historically is probably [
** All that that is before you consider that these people were often all rulers in different nations. Just because he's your brother and your cousin doesn't mean that you can't go to war with him, right? Which makes the [[Thirty Years War]] (aka, the bloodiest European war pre-WWI) the second-biggest family feud of all time.
** The [
*** Philip of Castille and Joanna of Castille together provided about 40.6% of Charles II's genes. That shouldn't work! And frankly didn't!
*** Charles II also had [
** Pick a Habsburg. ''Any'' Habsburg. There's a reason there's a wikipedia article on the Habsburg chin.
*** The Habsburgs being the family that controled Austria and Spain. Charles II (remember him?) was the last Hapsburg of the Spainish Branch.
*** The Hapsburg case is one of wanting to keep it "all in the family." Unlike many of Europe's dynasties, they came by the vast majority of their titles through lucky inheritances (having come to power after the black plague devastated most of the noble houses of europe) rather than war, and they didn't want to lose any of them the same way they had earned them. As has been noted, this ultimately produced a literal genetic recipe for disaster.
* [[Older Than Dirt]]: Any given [[Ancient Egypt|Ancient Egyptian]] dynasty, whose [[Royal Blood]] was traditionally "preserved" via so much incest that it gave Pharoah Tutankhamun a club foot and a cleft palate, and was probably the reason he had no surviving offspring.
** The Greek Ptolemaic dynasty of Egypt (founded by Ptolemy, which means "Warrior" who was one of Alexander the Great's Generals.) is so knotted and twisted that it almost defies description. [http://web.archive.org/web/20060701120643/www.geocities.com/christopherjbennett/ This website makes a brave effort.] [
*** If Mark Antony had won the war, it would have gotten a lot worse. For example, the [
* Both Queen Victoria of Britain, and Christian IX of Denmark had a lot of children that were married off to the royalty of Europe according to custom. During [[World War One]], every monarch in Europe, even the rulers of minor nations like Romania, and Greece, were the grandchild of Vicky on one side, and Chris on the other, making them both maternal and paternal cousins. (Victor Emmanuel III of Italy being probably the only exception.) Both the Russian Tsar, and the German Kaiser, spoke English as their first language, and the Swiss press at the time called it "the cousins' war". Surreal.
** [
** Even more surreal when you realise that through Imperialism, they controlled anywhere between 75% and 90% of the world's landmass, making them also the most successful family in human history.
** Victor Emmanuel wasn't the only exception, Franz Joseph of Austria-Hungary was way too old to be the grandchild of Victoria; of course he was a Habsburg, so...
Line 301:
* The Rothschild banking family, said to be so rich they financed both sides of every war in the 19th century, practiced incestuous marriage, motivated by the fact that marrying outside the family would mean the family fortune would be split in between different lines through inheritance, dowries and the like. Several generations of Cousin/Cousin, and in one case, Uncle/Niece marriages followed. They have since abandoned this practice (doctor's orders). Also, they were right. The family fortune dried up after they stopped the incest.
* Duke William of Normandy (also called William the Bastard, because he was illegitimate) invaded England and killed King Harold Godwinson, the last Anglo-Saxon King. William was motivated by the fact that he was Edward the Confessor's cousin, and was supposedly promised it by Edward on a stack of holy relics (Edward the Confessor was the King of England before Harold Godwinson for those paying attention). King Harold Godwinson's daughter married Prince Vladimir Monomakh of Kiev (whose own mother was the daughter of Constantine IX Monomachus of Byzantium). The Russians, assisted by large numbers of Scandanavians, invaded Byzantium in 1043. Harald Hadrada ("the Ruthless"), who later became king of Norway, joined the Byzantine army with a large following of northmen ("Varanger"), campaigned widely, and ripped out the eyes of the Byzantine emperor Michael V Kalaphates in 1042. King Harald Hadrada of Norway invaded England in 1066, on the pretext that it was promissed to his family by Harthacnut who's father was Cnut The Great, Viking King of Norway, Denmark, and England (also parts of Scotland, Sweden, Ireland, and Poland) from 1018-1035. Harthacnut's mother was also Emma of Normandy, William of Normandy's grandmother. Harald Hadrada was killed by King Harold Godwinson, who was himself killed by Duke William at the Battle of Hastings, thus ending the Saxon period, and leading to centuries of French rulers on the English throne. All at a time when most people never got further than 3 miles from their birth place.
* Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord. Not only was he a [[Magnificent Bastard]], but he had several literal bastards. Most of them with a very unsure paternity. [
** Talleyrand fathered a son, Joseph, with Adelaide Filleul, who was herself the illegitimate daughter of King Louis XV of France. Their son, Joseph, comte de Flahaut, in turn had an affair with Hortense de Beauharnais, the stepdaughter of Napoleon Bonaparte and queen of Holland, which produced another son, the duc de Morny. Hortense's legitimate son became the emperor Napoleon III.
** Talleyrand was also the probable biological father of artist Eugene Delacroix.
Line 317:
[[Category:Ensembles]]
[[Category:Tangled Family Tree]]
| |||