The Angry Video Game Nerd/Funny: Difference between revisions
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** "Oh, so is he a plumber? Well, the game's called 'Plumbers Don't Wear Ties,' so I guess it makes sense. He's a plumber and I don't see him wearing a tie." *screen shows John wearing a tie while holding a plunger* "What the fuck? [[Never Trust a Title|You can't even trust the damn title!]]"
** His rant at the end of the video.
{{quote|'''Nerd:''' "Yeah, you know what? Give me somethin' different. Give me a different fuckin' game! This is one of the worst things I have ever seen in my life. On the box, it says 'Plays like a game...but feels like a movie!' Well, that's horseshit! It does ''not'' play like a game, and it certainly does not feel like a movie. It's a slideshow that verges on being softcore porn. But it isn't that either! It's like some kind of experimental art project. If I just made a bunch of shit and threw all kinds of filters on it, that would be the same as this miserable pile of fuck. [[
*** Complete with the crazy filtering found in the game's beginning, as well as pictures of random bears including a panda.
** When John and Jane first meet:
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* The Nerd's heartfelt FUCK!! once he realized that the new ''[[Godzilla]]'' games were way better than the older ones. Cue in for the Nerd tumbling down SNES games Godzilla-style as the scream goes on in the background.
** And when he finds out what the [[Game Boy]] ''Godzilla'' game [[Super-Deformed|actually looks like]] in gameplay after the promising opening credits...
* Four words: ''[[Bugs Bunny]]'s Birthday Blowout''. ''[[Bittersweet Candy Bowl]]'' creator Taeshi [http://www.formspring.me/taeshi/q/236061560869496300 has admitted this to be among her favorites]{{Dead link}}, along with the aforementioned reviews of the Atari 5200 and Plumbers Don't Wear Ties.
** ''Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle'' might be even funnier, including some of the ways Bugs gets payback for the Nerd's abuse two years before.
* The beginning of the ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' video. For the first few seconds, you see a bunch of ''Nintendo Power'' magazines on the floor, and then...
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* [[Most Annoying Sound|"Where did YOU learn to fly? Where did YOU learn to fly?"]]
** Where'd YOU learn to be an asshole!
* The Power Glove review, especially when the Nerd succeeds in landing the plane in ''[[Top Gun]]'' with the glove. His dumbfounded face is ''priceless''.
** "I lost to [[Punch
** "It's so bad it sucks! It so fucking sucks it fucks! And I....can't take anymore."
** There are two jokes that never fail to make me laugh in the Power Glove review:
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{{quote|'''Nerd''': (Holding the console with a menacing [[Death Glare]]) Castlevania II: Simon's Quest... There's only one way to play this with the Power Glove... ('''''PUNCH!''''')}}
* Even the ninja master can't beat ''[[Ninja Gaiden]]''. "Nunchaku-fuck!"
* The very last second of his ''Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde'' video, he tells everyone that he's [[Punctuated!
** His return to the game is another moment. Even after six years, he still hasn't gotten over the shock, as shown by him delaying the review for about two minutes and switching from his usual Rolling Rock beer to a bottle of whiskey.
*** His reaction to Jekyll killing a bee....
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** The Nerd's comment on using the video connector and the box for the Wonder Wizard:
{{quote|"This might be a good time to bring up that most of these old consoles have a connector that looks like this. You have to plug them into a box, and then screw the box into your TV. But I say, [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick|get yourself one of these, plug them into the coaxial input on your TV, plug the game in, and tell that box to go fuck itself]]!" *[[Flipping the Bird|flips the bird at the connector]] while he says this*}}
* The Nerd's double review of the [[
** "SHIT THE FUCK?!"
* "I don't know one person who had a Sega CD. And why is that? BECAUSE IT FUCKIN' SU -- CAUSE-IT-FUCK -- CAUSE--IT--FUCK -- CAUSE----IT----FUCKIN'----'''SUCKS.'''"
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* After ranting about ''Hydlide'' for ages while pronouncing it "hide-lide", he then pauses and remarks: "Wait, maybe it's pronounced 'Hid-lide'."
* In his ''Ghostbusters'' review when he prank-calls a hardware store asking for Ghost Vacuums.
* [[Double Dragon|Bimmy and Jimmy?]] Bimmy's not even a real name!
* The ''[[Back to the Future (film)|Back to The Future]]'' gag in the Atari 5200 "review." The TV power cord is just a couple inches too short. "Damn. Damn. Damn Damn!"
** The look on the Nerd's face when he unwraps the Trak-Ball controller is ''priceless''. ([http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AknyR-kRvLc 8:37])
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* His reaction to learning that you can make [[Michael Jackson]] grab his crotch in ''[[Moonwalker]]''.
* From his second episode on Bible Games: "Kill all babies. '''Kill all babies?''' I'm playing a Nintendo game that has the words 'Kill all babies' in it?"
* The Action52 review has many.
** "Out of the way, you fucking ghosts! Here comes [[Gag Boobs|Mrs. Tits]], jumping like she's on the moon!"
** "Oh, fucking hell, there's a menorah shooting Q-tips! GET OUTTA THE WAY!"
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* This excellent [[Visual Pun]] from his Star Trek review: "You want [[Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan|Genesis?]] *holds up [[Sega Genesis]]* You can have Genesis.
* During part 1 of his Halloween special reviewing the Dracula games, the Nerd had just gotten a game over from the SNES version of Bram Stoker's Dracula and while the credits were passing by, he saw the name [[Unfortunate Names|Fred Fuchs]]...
{{quote|'''Nerd''': Wait, who's this? Fred Fudges..Fred Fuchs?? Fred Fuchs! Fred Fuchs! Oh my god, [[
** "DON'T KNOW HOW TO 'FUCK' SOMETHING" *Cue stunned silence and [[Face Palm]]*
** "Eat pillow." "Yuck!" "Okay, so I ate the pillow? I didn't expect THAT!"
** (When finishing ''[[Sesame Street|The Count's Countdown]]'') "Why am I playing this?"
* The priceless look on his face in the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KOnsTcFhUU&feature=related AVGN movie quote of the week] about Pokémon.
{{quote|'''Nerd''': *blinks* The movie quote of the week is... what the fuck is this? *cracks up*}}
* In his review of ''Super Mario Bros. 3'', after he calls upon Super Mecha Death Christ to destroy the game:
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** The Nerd's description in how the series would've evolved, culminating in ''Lester 5'' being a bag of poop.
** "I'd rather fuck the [[The Wizard of Oz (film)|Wicked Witch of the West]][...]This nerd makes me look like [[Charles Bronson]]. [[Family Matters|Steve Urkel]] could beat the shit out of this guy."
** Playing ''The Flowers of Robert Mapplethorpe''. Just this...
** Deciding he's gone off all games and to watch TV instead. His TV turns out not to have an aerial connection and just produces static, causing him to remark "[[Take That|Modern TV sucks!]]"...[[Hypocritical Humor|before settling down to watch the static anyway]].
* In part one of his Terminator video game review, The Nerd's reaction to the maximum lives cap for the NES [[The Problem with Licensed Games|Terminator game.]]
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** His reaction to the relatively pointless tidbit in one game where Obi-Wan Kenobi points out "The Lightsaber is the weapon of the Jedi".
*** "Yeah, thanks for telling me that. While you're at it, why don't you tell me something like 'Cows go "Moo!"'?"
** How about the end? As he's listing off a bunch of Star Wars games {{spoiler|(He soon just lists a bunch of made up names that get more and more bizarre as he goes on)}}, what is most likely one of the funniest [[
{{quote|'''Nerd:''' '''OH MY GOD! OH MY GOOOOD!''' {{spoiler|A FUCKING BUFFALO JUST TOOK A FUCKING SHIT THROUGH MY FUCKING WINDOW! Oh my fucking God! There's fucking shit and glass all over the place! '''Where the fuck did that fucking come from!?!''' Oh my God! I gotta clean all this shit up!}} What the fuck, man?!}}
** His thinking-out-loud speculation of the Death Star being a giant disco ball preceded by a giant dance floor in the middle of space and threatening to bring back disco is pretty darn funny.
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* From his Spielberg Games review:
{{quote|'''AVGN:''' [Checking through his box of Spielberg Games] "''Super [[Schindler's List]] 3D''?! Nah, just kidding."}}
* James' [https://web.archive.org/web/20130920214642/http://cinemassacre.com/2009/08/20/a-funny-outtake-and-new-avgn-coming-very-soon/ outtakes] for the Crazy Castle review, in which he, and everybody around him, simply cannot stop laughing at the lines that [[Actually Pretty Funny|he himself wrote]]. Doubles as a [[Moment of Awesome (Sugar Wiki)|Moment of Awesome]] when he finally says the line in one take at the end.
{{quote|"Alright. That's it. I'm done with this game. I'd rather press my face against a hippopotamus's butt while its muck spreads! That's when a hippo takes a shit: rather than allowing the shit to drop from its anus, it presses its tail against its ass crack, waving it back and forth, shredding the shit all over the place! That's as much fun as this game is, like putting a turd in a fan or a band saw. You just don't do it!"}}
* During his Accessories review, he tries the Roll & Rocker without much success. Then he mentions that he's heard you have to weigh less than a hundred pounds to use it.
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* I'm surprised there are no mentions of his review of the Wizard Of Oz SNES game. Mike's as the Cowardly Lion was just comic gold.
** I'm surprised James was able to finish the video considering how much he laughs during the outtakes. I would've died.
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20131107055643/http://cinemassacre.com/2011/06/21/tmnt-tuesday-tmnt-tournament-fighters-challenge/ TMNT Tournament Fighters Challenge]. James and Mike play a bit of the game with high stakes. The winner gets to watch the first TMNT movie, the loser has to watch the awful "Turtle Tunes". The ending is what makes it, {{spoiler|Mike gets so tired of the video, that he stops it and starts playing Super Metroid. James finds out and tells him if he doesn't finish it, he'll have to watch Turtle Tunes three times, plus We Wish You a Turtles Christmas, the third movie, and the Coming Out Of Their Shells Tour.}}
* The Nerd always growling and cussing through the whole ''Sunday Funday'' video game, especially when the skateboarder is forced to jump off a ledge after the Nerd realizes he forgot the balloon and can't go back for it; and when he keeps dying on the whole [[Springs Springs Everywhere|springs ordeal]] in the sewers.
** Also, when the Nerd realizes that "The Ride" is actually a sing-along to the (digitized) 4Him song rather than the "playable" game.
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* In the ''[[Swordquest]]'' episode, AVGN comments on the game's ''Earthworld'' part about [[Mundane Made Awesome|hearing an explosion sound every time you go through a door]]. His playing the game and jumping back at each "explosion" going through a door is priceless!
* At the end of his ''Kid Kool'' review, the Nerd throws the cartridge over his shoulder, it lands in the garbage, and when he hears it, he looks back, then looks at the camera in surprise, as if ''James himself'' didn't actually intend for it to land in there.
* The ''[[Deadly Towers]]'' review. '''Full stop'''. At the end, he goes into a tirade of scatological metaphors that simply have to be heard to be believed.
** The part where he swears ''in [[Gratuitous German|German]]''.
* The ''[[Halloween (film)|Halloween]]'' review. Early on, the Nerd runs into two trick-or-treaters, takes their bag, and defecates into it.
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You'd better not play 'em, he's telling you why.
The Angry Video Game Nerd is here! }}
* In the third [http://www.gametrailers.com/video/angry-video-screwattack/724633 Bible Games] review, the Nerd plays some minigames in ''[[The Bible|The King James Version]]'' for archaic words that are in [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe]]. At one time, he types in the word "ASS", and there is a whole bunch of the KJV Bible passages with the word "ass", some of them [[Double Entendre
** In ''Adam and Eve'', he finds the game that is not the same as a Biblical story of Adam and Eve, instead about people floating in balloons fighting worms and eating the supposed "forbidden fruits" called [[How Do You Like Them Apples?|apples]]! "What were they thinking?!"
** When he plays "Flight to Egypt" for a second time, he picks up one trivia question scroll that has a fill-in-the-blank for Luke 10:18 (KJV), and says that anyone who's seen the film ''[[Street Fighter (film)|Street Fighter]]'' should know the answer for that passage!<ref>
* A few funny parts in the review for ''[[The Wizard of Oz (film)|The Wizard of Oz]]'':
{{quote|"Let's start off with the enemy run-down. We got [[Everything Trying to Kill You|bloodthirsty bluebirds, frogs, chattering teeth, pink soldiers, some weird-looking dude, flying elephants, which are supposed to be monkeys, a blobby blue guy, and killer chairs]]! Is this ''The Wizard of Oz'' or ''[[Pee-wee's Playhouse]]''?!?! Then, there's all these buzzsaws. Kinda violent, don't you think? [[Everything Trying to Kill You|Everything imaginable wants you dead. Even water faucets coming out of trees. Even the hands of a clock can kill you!]]" ''*pulls out a clock*'' "OH, GOD! HERE IT IS!!! WATCH OUT FOR THE CLOCK!!!" ''*gets himself hit*''}}
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* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktsVckLDm6M This outtakes video.] Seeing the Nerd go through his [[Memetic Mutation|famous]] '''''ASS!''''' scene in different pitches is ''hysterical''.
* His Spielberg games review is a good one, but the highlight was his completely dumbfounded reaction to the Nedry character from the 3D0 [[Jurassic Park]] game [[Makes Just as Much Sense in Context|wearing a tutu and angel wings with overalls in one icon.]]
* While taking time off from the regular videos to film his movie, James created a series of videos in which he answered fan messages from his Youtube page. Probably the most hilarious of all of them was one particular message from [https://web.archive.org/web/20130909195414/http://www.screwattack.com/shows/partners/cinemassacre-mailbag/cinemassacre-mailbag-episode-3 this video] from a blogger who runs the "Fight Hard Blog." Incredibly funny all the way through, but the best part was the last sentence, which read, "Live like a windrammer as you fuck." James laughed himself silly at this one.
* In his review of ''[[Friday the 13th (video game)|Friday the 13 th]]'', the game's [[It's a Wonderful Failure|dark game over screen]] prompts to come up with an idea for the theoretical sequel's game over screen. The results? This:
{{quote|You're dead. Your friends are dead. Your family's dead. Your fucking pets are being skinned alive. [[Your Mom]]'s a fucking whore. You suck at life. The whole world hates you. You're going to hell. Deal with it. [[Game Over]].}}
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[He trails off and mimes his head exploding from the sheer insanity of it all] }}
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:<small>Back to ''[[{{ROOTPAGENAME}}]]''</small>
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