The Angry Video Game Nerd/Funny: Difference between revisions

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** "Looks like Superman's stroking his super dick.**
* The whole ''[[The Addams Family]]'' episode, including the entire family of the AVGNs [[Flipping the Bird]] at the screen to the classic ''Addams Family'' theme with fart noises at the end, and one of them says, in a nod to Donatello's line from ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (film)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]] III'', "You were expecting, uh, maybe, uh, the ''Ninja Turtles''?" Also, while playing ''Fester's Quest'':
{{quote| '''AVGN Gomez:''' I think it's a shitload of fuck!<br />
'''AVGN Fester:''' I think you'd better shut your ass! }}
** And at the part before that:
{{quote| '''AVGN Fester:''' GODDAMN! <br />
'''AVGN Wednesday:''' This game had better stop SUCKING ASS or else I'm going to have give it the Finger. The middle finger. ''{{[[[Flipping the Bird]] flips the bird}}]'' }}
** Also, the AVGN ends the Sega Genesis review of ''The Addams Family'' with "This game is ASS!", with the letter "A" item and the two "$" collectibles forming the word "A$$". This is followed by a theme song parody by Kyle Justin (dressed up as Cousin Itt):
{{quote| It's crappy and it's kooky,<br />
A stupid piece of poopy.<br />
I'd rather eat my dookie;<br />
It makes me wanna pee.<br />
Sucking some ass. ([[Precision F-Strike|FUCK!]])<br />
Sucking some balls. (FUCK!!)<br />
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** The whole ''Bible Adventures'' game, especially with Noah carrying the animals into the ark in "Noah's Ark".
*** A few examples of "[[David Versus Goliath|David and Goliath]]":
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' ''[both the lion and the squirrel get knocked out]'' What? What happened? Did you see that? That lion just fell flat on his ass! And, he fell at the same time as the squirrel. So, who knocked them both out? Well, let's take a look at the whole replay and see what happened. Here, we see the [[Nutty Squirrel|squirrel]] throw an acorn. It clobbers the lion. BAM! Now, let's back up a bit. Just before he gets hit, this other squirrel throws another acorn, which comes right back down, and BAM! [[Hoist by His Own Petard|He knocked himself out with his own acorn.]] Dumb shit.}}
*** The weird sound effects that a sheep makes, which the Nerd mimics.
*** Also:
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' ''[trying to catch sheep]'' Come on, you damn sheep. I'm not gonna hurt you. Sheepy, sheepy! ''[in higher-pitched tone]'' Sheepy, sheepy, sheepy! ''[in normal voice]'' Fuck this! I feel like a stupid asshole going after all these sheep for no reason.}}
*** And:
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' The most fun I have in this game is watching [[Nutty Squirrel|that weird squirrel]]. I'm telling you, that squirrel does some weird shit. One minute, it's sleeping, then it runs up and over the tree, and-- ''[sees a squirrel climb up the sky because of some glitches]'' Oh my God! Look at that! It's a flying squirrel. Or, it's like climbing the sky! ''[squirrel vanishes]'' Where'd it go? ''[David jumps, and the squirrel reappears before it disappears again, for good this time]'' Oh, there it is! Wow. [[What Do You Mean It Wasn't Made on Drugs?|They were on drugs when they made this game.]]}}
** Also, in ''Bible Buffet'':
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' It's so rare to hear such a clear voice in a Nintendo game. But, I also suppose it's rare for Nintendo to have a Bible game with no references to the Bible, resembling Atari that's all about [[Everything Trying to Kill You|food trying to kill you]]. Yet it's also a board game rip-off with quizzes that you can't answer. And, if it's a Bible game, why do you blow a snowman's head off? Whatever happened to "[[Thou Shalt Not Kill]]"? Please, somebody tell me. What the hell am I playing? I kinda like it, but I gotta turn it off before I go insane.}}
** When the Nerd plays "Flight to Egypt" for three seconds:
{{quote| "It's bad."}}
* His [[Atari 5200]] review is full of classic moments, including the [[Hilarity Ensues|humorous montages of him just trying to just hook up and play the console]]. But the highlight has to be the ending:
{{quote| '''The Nerd''' ''(after getting [[Yank the Dog's Chain|his chain yanked]] with a non-fitting controller)'': ([[Beat]]) '''FUCK!!'''}}
* [[Mundane Made Awesome|ROLLING ROCK ON THE ROLL & ROCKER]]!! That's in his NES Accessories review.
** To the tune of the ''[[Duck Hunt]]'' Level 1 opening, Boo the Cat is on top of the TV screen before the Nerd yells at him to jump down. As the cat does, he swats at the flying duck on the TV screen a few times, then the duck flies away as the tune ends with the Dog's laugh, before the Nerd repeatedly shoots at the laughing Dog in anger.
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** "Oh, so is he a plumber? Well, the game's called 'Plumbers Don't Wear Ties,' so I guess it makes sense. He's a plumber and I don't see him wearing a tie." *screen shows John wearing a tie while holding a plunger* "What the fuck? [[Never Trust a Title|You can't even trust the damn title!]]"
** His rant at the end of the video.
{{quote| '''Nerd:''' "Yeah, you know what? Give me somethin' different. Give me a different fuckin' game! This is one of the worst things I have ever seen in my life. On the box, it says 'Plays like a game...but feels like a movie!' Well, that's horseshit! It does ''not'' play like a game, and it certainly does not feel like a movie. It's a slideshow that verges on being softcore porn. But it isn't that either! It's like some kind of experimental art project. If I just made a bunch of shit and threw all kinds of filters on it, that would be the same as this miserable pile of fuck. [[Big Lipped Alligator Moment|It would also be the same to go take a shit on a piece of toast on top of a roof while wearing a fish mask singing 'I'm Too Sexy.'"]]}}
*** Complete with the crazy filtering found in the game's beginning, as well as pictures of random bears including a panda.
** When John and Jane first meet:
{{quote| John: Wow... [[Double Entendre|It’s 8 o’clock and I’m seein’ a 10! What I wouldn’t give to do her plumbing…]]<br />
AVGN: Yeah, OK. <br />
(A few seconds pass with John and Jane just staring at each other)<br />
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** ''Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle'' might be even funnier, including some of the ways Bugs gets payback for the Nerd's abuse two years before.
* The beginning of the ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' video. For the first few seconds, you see a bunch of ''Nintendo Power'' magazines on the floor, and then...
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' [[Jump Scare|ASS!]]}}
* The Nerd's reaction to level 8 of ''Little Red Hood'':
{{quote| '''Nerd:''' ...In this stage, the key doesn't appear until you buy an invincibility potion and three slingshots. ''(beat)'' [[Guide Dang It|HOW WOULD ANYBODY KNOW TO DO THAT]]?! }}
* The scene in the [[Indiana Jones]] review in which AVGN whips an IJ cartridge. Funny not because of the whipping itself, but because an off-camera light goes off and James Rolfe [[Kayfabe|breaks character]] and says "Oh Shit!", meaning the gag didn't go off as planned.
** The enemy with the absurdly large life bar and the Nerd's increasingly horrified expression after he holds the whip button down without looking at the screen for ages and then finds it's only gone down two points.
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** "It's so bad it sucks! It so fucking sucks it fucks! And I....can't take anymore."
** There are two jokes that never fail to make me laugh in the Power Glove review:
{{quote| '''Nerd''': (playing [[Bubble Bobble]]) If you're trying to pop the bubbles, good luck! Sucks monkey fuck! (pops into view) Sucks monkey fuck!<br />
'''Nerd''': (playing [[Super Mario Bros. (video game)|Super Mario Bros]]) All right, Mario, you don't have to keep jumping. At least he made it over the Goomba; you were lucky, ya ''fuck''. }}
** His funniest moment has to be when he picks up his copy of ''[[Castlevania|Castlevania 2]]''- his first game review. If you saw it, you're well aware he '''''really''''' hates the shit out of that game and wouldn't dare play it again. So what does he do?
{{quote| '''Nerd''': (Holding the console with a menacing [[Death Glare]]) Castlevania II: Simon's Quest... There's only one way to play this with the Power Glove... ('''''PUNCH!''''')}}
* Even the ninja master can't beat ''[[Ninja Gaiden]]''. "Nunchaku-fuck!"
* The very last second of his ''Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde'' video, he tells everyone that he's [[Punctuated for Emphasis|Dead. Fucking. Serious]] about how bad this game is, [[Corpsing|only to start laughing as the camera cuts out.]]
** His return to the game is another moment. Even after six years, he still hasn't gotten over the shock, as shown by him delaying the review for about two minutes and switching from his usual Rolling Rock beer to a bottle of whiskey.
*** His reaction to Jekyll killing a bee....
{{quote| '''Nerd:''' I killed a bee? *kills another bee* I killed something! }}
*** "Watch out for the bird shit- wha-wha-wha-WHAT?!! *shows birds pooping* It's definitely shit in a Nintendo game!"
*** "...Now there's birds shitting into the piss fountain!"
** "Oh sorry honey, I had quite a day, just '''THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!''" What makes him think that the Church is gonna be any better? Is the priest gonna throw candles at him? [[Crosses the Line Twice|Is Jesus gonna come off the fucking cross and start hitting him with it!?]].
* His now immortal rant at the end of ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' Cowabunga...COWA-FUCKING-PIECE-OF-DOG-SHIT! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick. This game is as appealing as a fucking ooze-infested dirty fucking sewer rat shit. I've had more fun playing with dog turds. Shredder's my ass and Splinter's my balls. This game is an inside-out asshole regurgitating putrid anal fecal matter. I'd rather fucking yank all the hairs out of my scrotum. I'd rather drink diarrhea vomited out of buffalo's anus. It sucking fucks, it fucking sucks, it fucking blows, it's a piece of shit...[[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|and I don't like it.]]}}
* "The game sucks, end of story, I wanna nail ''Roger Rabbit'' to the fucking cross"
* His opening rant about the [[Virtual Boy]] ending with "Come to think of it, you wouldn't want to play this thing in public anyway. You'd look like an asshole."
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* ''Let's play charades. [[Pitfall|Who]] am I?''
** The Nerd thinking up all the death-traps to put at the start of ''Super Pitfall''.
{{quote| '''The Nerd:''' Let's put every kind of obstacle we can possibly think of in the very beginning of the game. Y'know, I'm disappointed. [[There Is No Kill Like Overkill|Couldn't there have been lava on top of the spikes, with fire-sharks swimming in it?. Couldn't there be more spikes coming in from the sides, ready to close in and squash me, while stabbing at the same time? How about some lazer-cannons, and upside-down volcanoes?]] You wanna be even more efficent? Why even have the ladder? Why not just start the game falling down the pit? *''Cue all the previous mentioned appearing''*}}
* "You get 4 different kinds of ''[[Pong]]'', like... what the hell is this, ''Reverse Pong''? Okay... Oh, ''now'' what's this? ''Asshole Pong''? That's not fair!"
** The Nerd's comment on using the video connector and the box for the Wonder Wizard:
{{quote| "This might be a good time to bring up that most of these old consoles have a connector that looks like this. You have to plug them into a box, and then screw the box into your TV. But I say, [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick|get yourself one of these, plug them into the coaxial input on your TV, plug the game in, and tell that box to go fuck itself]]!" *[[Flipping the Bird|flips the bird at the connector]] while he says this*}}
* The Nerd's double review of the [[Colecovision]] and [[Intellivision]]. "BEEEEEEEEEEE SEVENTEEN BAAAAUUUUMERRRRR!!"
** "SHIT THE FUCK?!"
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* When he disposes of the horrid Winter Games cartridge by doing everything to it the warning label says not to: IE. shoves it in the oven and the freezer, runs water over it, pours alcohol into the component side, smashes it with a hammer and takes it apart before burning it in the fireplace.
** Also, when the Nerd comments on the name problems in the review:
{{quote| "The name entry screen is a disaster. You can't move the cursor up or down. It only goes left and right. Isn't that fun?! Not to mention, they only let you spell four-letter words, which I could think of plenty, but how many names would have less than four letters? If you tried to add a fifth letter, it goes back and replaces the first letter, then you gotta figure out how to start over. When it reaches the last letter, why couldn't it just stop?! The simplest thing to do is to type in all A's, then go left once to get to the end button. Because, why put in a name anyway? It's not like the game is gonna save it. But if it did, I guarantee most of the high scores will belong to "AAAA". The point is, how hard is it to program something as simple as a name entry screen? If they can't even get that right, then WOAH! Wait 'til you see the game!"}}
* After ranting about ''Hydlide'' for ages while pronouncing it "hide-lide", he then pauses and remarks: "Wait, maybe it's pronounced 'Hid-lide'."
* In his ''Ghostbusters'' review when he prank-calls a hardware store asking for Ghost Vacuums.
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* Combining both a [[Moment of Awesome (Sugar Wiki)|Moment of Awesome]] and a Funny Moment together in once scene, at one point during the ''[[Battletoads]]'', James and Kyle just start groovin' out to the techno music during the Pause screen.
** Kyle tries to join in, despite the Nerd's insistence he can't:
{{quote| '''James''': ''(as P1 and P2 descend on the stage)'' Wait...how'd you do that?<br />
'''Kyle''': [[Captain Obvious|...I pressed start]].<br />
'''James''': Ohhhhh! It's arcade style! }}
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* The [[Hilarious Outtakes]] from [[Ninja Gaiden]]. Kevin is just incredible.
** Notable ones include:
{{quote| '''Nerd''': Yeah yeah, I'm doing good!<br />
'''Ninja''': It's not a woman. }}
** And:
{{quote| '''Nerd''': *dies again* Grr!<br />
'''Ninja''': Before you leap, you must look.<br />
'''Nerd''': *dies again* I looked, I looked!<br />
'''Ninja''': Before you look, you must think.<br />
'''Nerd''': *dies again and gets angry*<br />
'''Ninja''': [[Don't Think, Feel|Before you think, you must feel.]]<br />
'''Nerd''': *dies again* [[Precision F-Strike|FUCK!]]<br />
'''Ninja''': Before you fuck, you must use proper protection. }}
** This is compared to the normal original episode, but different when the Ninja says, "Before you think, you must feel":
{{quote| '''Nerd''': *dies again* Ungh!!!<br />
'''Ninja''': Before you feel, you must--<br />
'''Nerd''': I've had enough!! }}
*** There's also the way the ninja shrugs when saying the "Don't Think, Feel," line, as if it were obvious and he couldn't believe the nerd didn't know it.
** When the Nerd actually catches the Q-tip ''first time''. Their reactions are priceless, especially Rolfe's look of amazement and hilarity.
{{quote| '''Ninja''': My work here is done.}}
* "It's time to start dropping some [[Cluster F-Bomb|F-Bombs!]]"
** His [[Heroic BSOD|breakdown]] after viewing a screwed up cutscene from [[The Legend of Zelda CDI Games|Wand of Gamelon]]:
{{quote| '''Hectan''': "''You've killed me!''"<br />
'''Zelda''': "''[[Moral Dissonance|Good.]]''"<br />
'''AVGN''': ''[[[Beat]], then starts laughing hysterically]'' Hehehehe! Good! Hehehehe! You've killed me! Good! Hehehehe! ''[flips off both middle fingers, and clucks like the [[Cluster F-Bomb]] Chicken]'' }}
** Also, his closing comments on the CD-i games:
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' "These games are as worthwhile as melting dog shit in a frying pan! ''[piles up all three Zelda CD-i games]'' Yeah, you put some buffalo puke and some cat piss all over it, and you have a shit sandwich that is Zelda CD-i! This game fuckin' sucks, ''[tosses one CD with a crash]'' it fuckin' sucks, ''[tosses another CD with a crash]'' it fuckin' sucks, ''[tosses a third CD with a crash]'' oh, yeah, and the [[Hotel Mario|Mario game]], that one sucks too! ''[tosses the CD with a fourth crash]'' CD-i SUCKS!"<br />
''[cue the farting to the tune of the 8-bit ''[[The Legend of Zelda (video game)|The Legend of Zelda]]'' game opening]'' }}
* His reaction to learning that you can make [[Michael Jackson]] grab his crotch in ''[[Moonwalker]]''.
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** "You know what's more fun than playing Action 52? 52-card pickup. You know how you play that? *tosses deck of cards on ground* ''Pick up the cards!''"
** The Nintoaster. Also a [[Moment of Awesome (Sugar Wiki)|Moment of Awesome]].
{{quote| '''Nerd:''' It's a Nin''Toaster''. And yes, it works.}}
** "Are you shitting me? This game is shitting me." *cue the cartridge doing exactly that*
** "This guy doesn't understand the basic concept of a hooker. You're supposed to fuck her, not fuck her up."
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** The safety pins.
** The look on his face when he falls into the newbie trap. That is all.
{{quote| '''Nerd:''' Who's gonna dodge that? Nobody! Not the first time!}}
** His opinion on TV censorship.
{{quote| '''Nerd''': Whoever came up with this is an asshole!<br />
'''TV Version Nerd''': Whoever came up with this is an ass[[Sound Effect Bleep|*bleep*]]! Ass! Hole? [[Bleep, Dammit!|Ass*bleep*]]. [[Sarcasm Mode|Television makes a lot of sense]]. }}
** His immediate reaction to [[Mind Screw|Time Warp Tickers]]. Conveying "what the fuck" as much as possible with nothing but an expression.
** For some reason, just his understated reaction to the lack of enemies in the games.
{{quote| '''Nerd:''' Game #15: "Sharks." Yeah, sharks. ...''sometimes'' sharks... most of the time not.}}
** The glorious return of Shit Pickle.
* His recent Cheetahmen review also has a couple of them too.
Line 180:
* This excellent [[Visual Pun]] from his Star Trek review: "You want [[Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan|Genesis?]] *holds up [[Sega Genesis]]* You can have Genesis.
* During part 1 of his Halloween special reviewing the Dracula games, the Nerd had just gotten a game over from the SNES version of Bram Stoker's Dracula and while the credits were passing by, he saw the name [[Unfortunate Names|Fred Fuchs]]...
{{quote| '''Nerd''': Wait, who's this? Fred Fudges..Fred Fuchs?? Fred Fuchs! Fred Fuchs! Oh my god, [[Lampshaded Double Entendre|Fred Fuchs!]] Oh my God, its Fred Fuchs! Ohhhohoho, Fred Fuchs!}}
** "DON'T KNOW HOW TO 'FUCK' SOMETHING" *Cue stunned silence and [[Face Palm]]*
** "Eat pillow." "Yuck!" "Okay, so I ate the pillow? I didn't expect THAT!"
** (When finishing ''[[Sesame Street|The Count's Countdown]]'') "Why am I playing this?"
* The priceless look on his face in the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KOnsTcFhUU&feature=related AVGN movie quote of the week] about Pokémon.
{{quote| '''Nerd''': *blinks* The movie quote of the week is... what the fuck is this? *cracks up*}}
* In his review of ''Super Mario Bros. 3'', after he calls upon Super Mecha Death Christ to destroy the game:
{{quote| '''Nerd''': Holy shit!<br />
'''Super Mecha Death Christ''': *shoots the Nerd* [[Hypocritical Humor|WATCH YOUR FUCKIN' LANGUAGE!]] }}
* Basically, all of the [[Rocky]] character glitches in his "Game Glitches" review. Primarily, the Clubber Lang one.
{{quote| '''Nerd:''' It's a Clubber Fuck!}}
** Or when the Glitch Gremlin turns the audience into glitches and makes the fighters disappear.
{{quote| '''Gremlin:''' In this corner, weighing in at 0 pounds, 0 ounces: Nothing! And in this corner, we have much of the same: Also nothing!}}
** Let's not forget the [[Call Back]] to his ''Super Mario Bros 3'' review. "The gremlin prefers to stay away from this game. It's a bit too crowded with demonic possessions."
* His Batman review is simply put, awesome. Especially funny moments in the review includes his rant on ''[[Batman Forever]]'' and Mike Matei as the Joker.
** When he attempts to use the grappling hook in Batman Forever:
{{quote| '''Nerd:''' Fuck! Shit! Get up there! THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT! You'd think to shoot up, you'd just press up, but *no*! It jumps! [[Guide Dang It|Sometimes I get it to work by pure luck]], until I found out that, okay, ''this'' is how it works: to shoot up, you press select and up in a very specific way. You have to press Select ''slightly before'' you press jump; if you do it correctly, it shoots the grappling hook straight up in the air. But if you press them both at the same time, you just jump! That's a good reason why the jump button should NOT BE UP! WHY CAN'T IT BE ONE OF THE FUCKING BUTTONS?! [[Cluster F-Bomb|HAVING THE FUCKING "UP" BUTTON TO JUMP IS FUCKING FUCKED UP!]] If THIS ''[up]'' aimed your grappling hook and THIS ''[B button]'' jumped, ''then'' it would be fine. But no! They gotta be the same button! }}
** And the rant he delivers at the end is pure gold:
{{quote| '''Nerd:''' THIS IS FUCKED BEYOND BELIEF!!! It's like, the controls in this game are like something you do for a cheat code, NOT A BASIC MOVE THAT YOU HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO PLAY THE GAME! Why'd they program it in such an asinine, ball-brained, cockamamie, ''ridiculous fashion''?! It's like, geez, there's four buttons right in the front of the controller! LIKE THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO WORK WITH?!? Instead they have to, like, program it like all into, like, weird kinda crazy button combinations and shit!? It's like, what were they thinking?! It's like, up is jump!? Select for the grappling hook!? Select shouldn't even be part of the game, select should be like for the menus or something, I mean, geez! Like, were they trying to just ruin this game - just, flat out just fuck it up?! Well they did! BATMAN FOREVER! IT SUCKED BACK THEN, AND IT SUCKS FOREVER!}}
** "Will the Bat-Nerd escape the Joker? What bad games does he have in store? Tune in next week, same bat time, same bat channel."
*** Him and Luigi kicking ass in the opening of the second part. That is all.
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*** [[Awful Truth|"Awww no...]][[Alternative Character Interpretation|Link's a poon hound."]]
*** Also, when a lady in red invites Link over to restore his health, the Nerd describes it as [[Accidental Innuendo]] that is [[Getting Crap Past the Radar]]:
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' (Link) learns the Down-Thrust, the Up-Thrust, and here, he learns the Cunt Thrust. Yeah, that should be the name of a band.}}
*** The Nerd's reaction to the Game Over screen:
{{quote| '''Ganon:''' Ha ha ha ha!<br />
'''AVGN:''' Huh huh, huh huh, ''fuck'' you. }}
* The ''Chronologically Confused Zelda Timeline'', for the most part. One example is:
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' ''{{[[[The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask|The Legend of Zelda Majoras Mask]] Majora's Mask}}]'' is a sequel to ''[[The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time|Ocarina of Time]]''. But, wait! Not a sequel to the end where adult Link defeats Ganon, no! It's a sequel to young Link after he got sent back! So now, any speculation of Nintendo ever making a sequel to ''[[Zelda II: The Adventure of Link|Zelda II the Adventure of Link]]'' is deader than shit. They can't even make a sequel that follows in consecutive order. Instead, they just keep going back, and then maybe taking a small step up again, and then back again! [[Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs|We have a sequel to the original, a PREQUEL to the original, a sequel to the prequel, a PREQUEL to the prequel, and a SEQUEL to the young Link of the prequel's prequel!]] WHAT THE FUCK?!? }}
* When he sees the [[Nintendo Power]] tip/cheat for ''[[Milon's Secret Castle]]'' is just how to play the game.
{{quote| "The basic rules for this game require Nintendo Power! ''That'' is some fuck!"}}
* His detailed simile about the terrible hit detection in ''Transformers: Convoy no Nazo''
{{quote| "Hitting your mark is like trying to piss into a shot glass that's spinning on a record player, that's strapped to a running cheetah's back, while you're riding a unicycle on a tightrope blindfolded."}}
* In the new Nintendo Nerd Revisited video, after completing ''[[Top Gun]]'''s final mission, the game forces him to land on the carrier one last time. This time, he says he knows what to do, but given the [[Fake Difficulty|unforgiving controls]] during landings, he overshoots the carrier... and his jet keeps going out of the TV screen, up past his wall, and breaks through his glass window to fly outside. The prolonged landing sound effect really sells it.
{{quote| "Hey, if someone sees that plane, can you let me know?"}}
** Him also wanting the M.C. Kids review to have a dance segment with the McDonald's mascots along with [[He-Man and the Masters of the Universe|Skeletor]] and [[Dracula]] a la the CGI dance segment in the re-release of [[Return of the Jedi]]
** His mocking of the ''[[Star Wars]]'' special editions.
** He calls [[Who Framed Roger Rabbit?|Jessica Rabbit]]'s phone number 20 years after the game came out, his reaction to finding out it's a sex line is priceless.
** His description of the [[Fake Difficulty|colors of the]] [[The Problem with Licensed Games|LJN]] [[They Just Didn't Care|Rainbow]]
{{quote| "{{color|purple|Purple}} for "Putrid Gameplay", {{color|blue|Blue}} for "Bad Musical Abominations", {{color|green|Green}} for "Graphical Farts and Garlic", {{color|yellow|Yellow}} for "Piss-Poor Lack of Loyalty to Source Material", {{color|orange|Orange}} for "Orange you a fucking idiot!", and {{color|red|Red}} for "High-stress Anger-Inducing Masochism"! Put that all together, and you've got all the colors of the shit rainbow. Hooray, LJN!"}}
** "Hey, I'm getting deja vu here!" When inserting the cartridge into the Nintoaster, cut to where he put the cartridge in a toaster the first time.
** His question on the origin of the [[Back to The Future]] games:
{{quote| "Was this game even made by a human being, or did they feed it into a computer just so it could shit out this nonsensical fuck-poop?"}}
** When he dies again in ''Back to the Future III'' on Sega Genesis.
{{quote| YOU FUCKING PROCESSING, STOP BEING SO BLAST!}}
* His tantrum in the beginning of ''[[The Karate Kid]]'' with his slow motion "FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!", and banging his head through a kitchen cabinet.
** Even funnier when you realise he was holding the top of his head to soften the impact so that he didn't hurt himself.
* Even his retrospective on the ''[[Castlevania]]'' titles is pretty funny, such as his thoughts on "fuckness":
{{quote| "What in the unholy name of ''ass'' is ''this'' fuckness?! Oh wait, that's not a word? Well, it ''should'' be."}}
** Most likely unintentional, but saying Carrie in ''[[Castlevania (Nintendo 64)]]'' was like a school girl, with the game footage where Carrie is saying "Don't treat me like a child."
** Also finding out that Bram Stoker's Dracula novel was canon with the games:
{{quote| "It's like taking two cannons and putting them together!"}}
*** Complete with the image of two cannons together and launching at the same time.
** From his review of ''[[Castlevania: Symphony of the Night|Symphony of the Night]]'':
{{quote| "What are these, skeletons shooting lasers out their cocks?"}}
* The part in his revisited ''Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde'' review where, while red in the face with alcohol and rage, he wailed an epic diatribe (particularly the close up rant with him spilling booze all over himself).
{{quote| "What makes him think the church is going to be any better? Is the priest going to throw candles at him? Is Jesus going to climb off the fucking cross and start hitting him with it?"}}
** Also, his reaction to actually killing something with the cane. {{spoiler|Which turned out to be a bee.}}
* In his original ''[[Top Gun]]'' review, right near the end where he [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPYFb8Yn0Io&feature=related attempts to land the plane one last time]. The entire sequence is silent, save for the white noise of the video game sound effects. Then as the plane gets closer and closer to the carrier, it cuts back to his excited face, but right at the last second, it crashes into the water. Then...
{{quote| [[Atomic F-Bomb|"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS!!"]]}}
** Granted, it wasn't the strongest swear, but it's still ''hilarious''.
*** Though he does scream "FUUUUUUUCK!" right after he says "ASS!"
* His review of ''Lester The Unlikely'' was one of his calmer videos, but it has its moments....
** The Nerd temporarily going [[Gosh Dang It to Heck]] during the cave stage.
{{quote| "Augh, doody!!"}}
** Lester desperately running away from a group of bats.
** The Nerd's description in how the series would've evolved, culminating in ''Lester 5'' being a bag of poop.
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** "Alright I'm back, all refreshed ready to play some more Terminator with all new extra lives. All 6 of them...[[Flat What|6?]] Only 6!? OK, I got to be honest, it's only one digit I didn't expect more than 9, but why a random number like 6!? That means that some fucked up masochist actually programmed it that way and made the decision "Hmmm, well let's see. Anything more than 6, that's too much." [[Cluster F-Bomb|Fucking asshole!]]
* His [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvR_3OTxs8A&t=1m13s analogy] for the Genesis add-ons:
{{quote| "Did they really need all this bullshit [the 32X and the Sega CD] leeching on the Genesis? That poor Genesis is just thinking, 'Oh please, God, take this shit off me.' It’s like getting gang-raped: Both of its slots are gettin' fucked at the same time."}}
* In the ''[[Star Wars]]'' games review, the Nerd's explanation regarding the "[[The Dog Shot First|who shot first]]" debate: {{spoiler|neither did and Luke Skywalker crashed his landspeeder right into Greedo right after Han Solo said "Over my dead body!"}}
** The Nerd's face when {{spoiler|he sees Darth Vader turn into a scorpion in the only Japanese Star Wars game on the Famicom}} is probably the funniest thing ''ever''.
{{quote| '''AVGN''': Did Darth Vader say to Luke "I am your father and {{spoiler|I am also a '''fucking scorpion'''"}}?}}
** His reaction to the relatively pointless tidbit in one game where Obi-Wan Kenobi points out "The Lightsaber is the weapon of the Jedi".
*** "Yeah, thanks for telling me that. While you're at it, why don't you tell me something like 'Cows go "Moo!"'?"
** How about the end? As he's listing off a bunch of Star Wars games {{spoiler|(He soon just lists a bunch of made up names that get more and more bizarre as he goes on)}}, what is most likely one of the funniest [[Big Lipped Alligator Moment|Big Lipped Alligator Moments]] ever. {{spoiler|A buffalo walks by his window, backs up, and takes a diarrhea shit that blasts through his window.}} The Nerd's reaction to it is priceless.
{{quote| '''Nerd:''' '''OH MY GOD! OH MY GOOOOD!''' {{spoiler|A FUCKING BUFFALO JUST TOOK A FUCKING SHIT THROUGH MY FUCKING WINDOW! Oh my fucking God! There's fucking shit and glass all over the place! '''Where the fuck did that fucking come from!?!''' Oh my God! I gotta clean all this shit up!}} What the fuck, man?!}}
** His thinking-out-loud speculation of the Death Star being a giant disco ball preceded by a giant dance floor in the middle of space and threatening to bring back disco is pretty darn funny.
* The Nerd playing Gyromite with R.O.B., with R.O.B. being the human player and the Nerd being the robot.
** When R.O.B. says that he requires a gyro to play, The Nerd makes him an actual ''gyro sandwich.''
* In his ''[[A Nightmare on Elm Street]]'' review, he clones himself. He and his 3 clones debate what to do to the game, finally deciding to defecate on it.
{{quote| '''Clone:''' I don't gotta take a shit, you gotta take a shit?<br />
'''Other Clone:''' I gotta take a shit!<br />
'''Nerd:''' Then ''take'' that shit! }}
** Also, this scene with the clones.
{{quote| '''Nerd:''' "To hell with that shit!"<br />
'''Clone 1:''' "To hell with that...damn shit!"<br />
'''Clone 2:''' "To hell with that damn...fuckin' shit!"<br />
'''Clone 3:''' "...''To hell with that goddamn motherfuckin' bullshit!''"<br />
'''Clone 2:''' "...Relax." }}
** The Nerd describing how [[Badass]] the main character is for defeating [[Giant Spider|spiders]] and snakes by simply punching them. You can hear him trying to control laughter while calling them "Assholes".
{{quote| AVGN: Spiders! (Shows spider plush) PUNCH 'EM! (Does so, complete with sound effects) Snakes! Oh, you want some too? (beats toy snake down to the ground)}}
** Later, when Freddy cuts a Nerd clone to pieces, he is somehow able to flip him off with his severed hand.
* From the [[Die Hard]] review.
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' And officer [[Family Matters|Carl Winslow]] keeps talking to me, then the police car blows up, I'm like 'Well, what does this have to do with anything?', then [[Family Matters|Steve Urkel]] comes on and I'm like, 'What the [[Precision F-Strike|fuck?!]]'}}
** It's particularly funny for the [[Actor Allusion]], since Reginald VelJohnson plays Al Powell in the Die Hard series and Carl Winslow in Family Matters, explaining the subsequent Urkel pop-up.
** "There's guys coming out of every corner, there's guys coming out of the elevator, there's guys coming out of your ass..." which is immediately followed by an enemy sprite coming out of McClane's ass.
* From his Spielberg Games review:
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' [Checking through his box of Spielberg Games] "''Super [[Schindler's List]] 3D''?! Nah, just kidding."}}
* James' [http://cinemassacre.com/2009/08/20/a-funny-outtake-and-new-avgn-coming-very-soon/ outtakes] for the Crazy Castle review, in which he, and everybody around him, simply cannot stop laughing at the lines that [[Actually Pretty Funny|he himself wrote]]. Doubles as a [[Moment of Awesome (Sugar Wiki)|Moment of Awesome]] when he finally says the line in one take at the end.
{{quote| "Alright. That's it. I'm done with this game. I'd rather press my face against a hippopotamus's butt while its muck spreads! That's when a hippo takes a shit: rather than allowing the shit to drop from its anus, it presses its tail against its ass crack, waving it back and forth, shredding the shit all over the place! That's as much fun as this game is, like putting a turd in a fan or a band saw. You just don't do it!"}}
* During his Accessories review, he tries the Roll & Rocker without much success. Then he mentions that he's heard you have to weigh less than a hundred pounds to use it.
{{quote| "Let's try the cat, get on there, ya little bastard."<br />
[The cat stands on the Roll & Rocker and makes it wobble a little, then climbs off and starts sniffing a cable]<br />
"Cat's like 'Fuck that shit!'" }}
* The Nerd's face as he {{spoiler|flies into battle with R.O.B.}} Also doubles as a [[Moment of Awesome (Sugar Wiki)|Moment of Awesome]] when he [[Curb Stomp Battle|curbstomps]] the robot.
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** Also, when the Nerd realizes that "The Ride" is actually a sing-along to the (digitized) 4Him song rather than the "playable" game.
* Kyle Justin as Spider-Man, during the Nerd's review on [[Spider-Man]] games. Spider-Man's reaction to the Atari 2600 [[Spider-Man]] game: "THIS GAME SUCKS MY SPIDER-BALLS!" The Spider-Man parody song also deserves a mention:
{{quote| Spider-Man, Spider-Man<br />
Takes a dump in a coffee can.<br />
Plays some games, with a grudge,<br />
Gonna shit out some anal fudge.<br />
Look out, here come some shitty games.<br />
Alcohol is his power source,<br />
Takes a piss like a drunken horse.<br />
Climbs a wall, then he falls;<br />
[[Call Back|This game sucks his spider-balls.]]<br />
Oh no, he's playing the shitty games.<br />
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** The part where he swears ''in [[Gratuitous German|German]]''.
* The ''[[Halloween (film)|Halloween]]'' review. Early on, the Nerd runs into two trick-or-treaters, takes their bag, and defecates into it.
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' It's not chocolate, nor is it poop, it's ''[[Precision F-Strike|shit!]]''}}
** Later, the Nerd goes to babysit at their house:
{{quote| '''Kids''': IT'S THE POOPIE MAN!}}
* In the X-Men review, although it wasn't as funny as the other reviews, this troper just can't stop laughing from that one line.
{{quote| '''AVGN:''' Sorry to burst your bubbles, huh-huh!}}
* The Nerd's theory about how [[Super Mario Bros 3|Super Mario Bros. 3]] is possessed. The way that he starts off really calm and gets more and more panicky as it goes on is priceless.
* The first episode was much less elaborate than later episodes. However, it still has some funny moments. The Nerd reviews Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest. James' first words as the Nerd character? [[This Is Gonna Suck|"This game sucks!"]]
Line 337:
** "The ending sucks too."
* The parody of one [[Christmas Songs]], "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town":
{{quote| He's playing some games, the worst he recalls.<br />
He's gonna find out which ones suck the most balls.<br />
The Angry Video Game Nerd is here! <br />
Oh, he's making a list, and checking it twice,<br />
He's gonna go home and eat chicken and rice.<br />
The Angry Video Game Nerd is here!<br />
He hates the games that stink;<br />
He knows which games to break.<br />
He just might even hate them all,<br />
'Cause he's mad for fuckin' sake!<br />
You'd better watch out, don't give these games a try;<br />
You'd better not play 'em, he's telling you why.<br />
The Angry Video Game Nerd is here! }}
* In the third [http://www.gametrailers.com/video/angry-video-screwattack/724633 Bible Games] review, the Nerd plays some minigames in ''[[The Bible|The King James Version]]'' for archaic words that are in [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe]]. At one time, he types in the word "ASS", and there is a whole bunch of the KJV Bible passages with the word "ass", some of them [[Double Entendre|Double Entendres]], including the words "[[Have a Gay Old Time|dumb ass]]". Even the Nerd breaks down in laughter, and then says that [[I'm Going to Hell For This|he's "going to hell" for this]].
Line 354:
** When he plays "Flight to Egypt" for a second time, he picks up one trivia question scroll that has a fill-in-the-blank for Luke 10:18 (KJV), and says that anyone who's seen the film ''[[Street Fighter (film)|Street Fighter]]'' should know the answer for that passage<ref> though, of course, M. Bison actually quoted it from ''[[Paradise Lost]]''</ref>!
* A few funny parts in the review for ''[[The Wizard of Oz (film)|The Wizard of Oz]]'':
{{quote| "Let's start off with the enemy run-down. We got [[Everything Trying to Kill You|bloodthirsty bluebirds, frogs, chattering teeth, pink soldiers, some weird-looking dude, flying elephants, which are supposed to be monkeys, a blobby blue guy, and killer chairs]]! Is this ''The Wizard of Oz'' or ''[[Pee-wee's Playhouse]]''?!?! Then, there's all these buzzsaws. Kinda violent, don't you think? [[Everything Trying to Kill You|Everything imaginable wants you dead. Even water faucets coming out of trees. Even the hands of a clock can kill you!]]" ''*pulls out a clock*'' "OH, GOD! HERE IT IS!!! WATCH OUT FOR THE CLOCK!!!" ''*gets himself hit*''}}
* The part of his ''Dark Castle'' review when he dramatically pulls out the CD-i version of the game.
** Then the ending where he chains the Genesis cart and the CD-i disc to the wall and whips them like the torturer in the former version.
* His review of Silver Surfer:
{{quote| "It's like, you touch the top of the building, you die. You touch the ceiling, you die. You touch the floor, you die. Too far to the right, you die. Too far to the left, you die. You die, you die, you die. Diediediediediediediediediediediediedie DIE!"<br />
*cue the Nerd mimicking Silver Surfer's defeated pose* "Oh God, I can't fucking stand it..." }}
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktsVckLDm6M This outtakes video.] Seeing the Nerd go through his [[Memetic Mutation|famous]] '''''ASS!''''' scene in different pitches is ''hysterical''.
Line 364:
* While taking time off from the regular videos to film his movie, James created a series of videos in which he answered fan messages from his Youtube page. Probably the most hilarious of all of them was one particular message from [http://www.screwattack.com/shows/partners/cinemassacre-mailbag/cinemassacre-mailbag-episode-3 this video] from a blogger who runs the "Fight Hard Blog." Incredibly funny all the way through, but the best part was the last sentence, which read, "Live like a windrammer as you fuck." James laughed himself silly at this one.
* In his review of ''[[Friday the 13th (video game)|Friday the 13 th]]'', the game's [[It's a Wonderful Failure|dark game over screen]] prompts to come up with an idea for the theoretical sequel's game over screen. The results? This:
{{quote| You're dead. Your friends are dead. Your family's dead. Your fucking pets are being skinned alive. [[Your Mom]]'s a fucking whore. You suck at life. The whole world hates you. You're going to hell. Deal with it. [[Game Over]].}}
** In an underrated moment, when the Nerd is trying to open the door, we see him undo the lock on the doorknob, then the lock above it. He then starts to open it...when it turns out there's still a latch on the door.
* His review of the Atari Jaguar sees him playing ''Attack Of The Mutant Penguins'', which he describes as the weirdest game he's ever played.
{{quote| "I mean it's not ''bad'' if you're drunk or high or something, but how'd they come up with this shit?! I got it, I can come up with a game like this, how about...you're a ''shark'', and you gotta shake palm trees 'til ''trains'' fall down, and you put the trains in an ''apple'', and then turkeys come and ''eat'' the apples, and then...the turkeys go up waterfalls, and to get them down you have to collect monkey butts, so you drop the monkey butts on power lines, and then..."<br />
[He trails off and mimes his head exploding from the sheer insanity of it all] }}