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[[File:BrittasEmpire3.jpg|frame]]
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'''Laura Lancing:''' ''"Why not?"''
'''Helen Brittas:''' ''"It takes half an hour for the pills to work."'' }}
A [[Britcom]] running seven seasons between 1991 and 1997, ''The Brittas Empire'' is a slightly surrealist look at proud English leisure centre manager Gordon Brittas, and his utter failure to manage the fictional Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre. Brittas is an obsessive bureaucrat and a stickler for rules and procedures, no matter what the situation, resulting in catastrophes on a regular basis. According to his wife Helen, he thinks he's the oil that keeps everything running, but he is in fact the grit in the engine. He is a talentless, tactless and hopeless case of the [[Pointy-Haired Boss]].
A large supporting cast consists of Gordon's deputy managers Laura Lancing and Colin Wetherby, secretary Julie Porter, receptionist Carole Parkinson and attendants Gavin Featherly, Tim Whistler and Linda Perkin. Other non-staff characters include Gordon's philandering, broken, narcoholic wife Helen, and the [[Designated Villain|antagonistic]] Councillor Jack Druggett. Many of the characters are almost as dysfunctional as Gordon himself.
The show stars [[Hey, It's That Guy!|Chris Barrie]], who landed the leading role on the show during the various multi-year hiatuses between seasons on ''[[
▲Came forty-seventh in ''[[Britain's Best Sitcom (TV)|Britains Best Sitcom]]''.
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{{tropelist}}
* [[Accidental Pervert]]: Brittas forces Colin to hide inside a locker and spy on the staff in an attempt to weed out a suspected thief. The staff quickly find out but, assuming its Brittas inside the locker, decide to play a prank which ends up with Colin breaking several bones.
* [[Action Girl]]: The normally sweet and innocent Linda is capable of leaving her senses and transforming into a militant badass whenever required. Examples include a SWAT uniform complete with shotgun when an ostrich runs rampant in the centre, and organizing a radical animal rights group full of hippies in protest of Gordon's swimming with dolphins initiative. She even keeps Tim Whistler hostage inside a chicken coop as a bargaining chip.
* [[The Alleged Car]]: Gordon drives an Austin Maestro. Over the course of the series, it gets filled with concrete, has potatoes shoved up the exhaust, has its tyres slashed, has its brake lines cut, has its roof crushed and smashed by Carole in a JCB digger and is finally crashed into a lake by Helen. None of this ever stops Gordon from driving the damn thing.
* [[All Just a Dream]]: The final episode reveals the entire series to have been this - after another disaster at the centre, Gordon passes out and wakes up on a bus to Whitbury next to his wife Helen, where he harassed for tickets by a ticket collector who looks and sounds just like Colin Wetherby. Upon further glances we see [[But You Were There and You
* [[Ambulance Chaser]]: Julie drafts in John Rawlinson, a sleazy lawyer she met while stripping at the pub, to assist in acquitting Helen Brittas of attempted murder. Helen proceeds to have an affair with Rawlinson while Gordon is at a conference in Brussels.
* [[Amusing Injuries]]: The show's writers seem rather keen on electrocutions in particular. During Gordon's tenure at the leisure centre, a pool full of reborn Pentecostals, and a massive hand-holding circle of children are all electrocuted to near death. Gordon himself also ends up being pumped full of electricity, when Gavin's mentally disturbed wife Jessica ties him up to Colin's waste management system.
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** In the 1994 Christmas special, the Rt. Hon. Gavin Featherly MP comments on what a fantastic job Prime Minister Sebastian Coe is doing.
* [[Ax Crazy]]: Helen, already an unstable and mentally damaged woman, goes on the rampage with a fire axe when she spots undercover reporter Roger Ferguson, who she also had an affair with.
* [[Back
* [[Beach Episode]]: Brittas whisks the staff off to their regular holiday at the fictional seaside town of Burbage-on-Sea, where Gavin takes Colin's potato-powered lilo for a ride he'll never forget.
* [[Belly Buttonless]]: Gordon doesn't have a belly button after some plastic surgery following his return from the dead.
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* [[Butt Monkey]]: Colin, the disgusting northern leper, who is fired and near-fired by Brittas on several occasions, and is generally liked but not at all respected by the rest of the team.
* [[Cardboard Boxes]]: Colin has the genius idea of blocking up a corridor with cardboard boxes to stop a drunk pensioner in a wheelchair. Unlike other uses of this trope, Colin forgets to empty the boxes beforehand...
* [[Canon
** Its fair to say that most fans prefer the Christmas special continuity over the series 7 one.
** The 1994 special also dabbles in [[Retroactive Continuity]], showing Julie working at the centre in 1991 mere days after it first opened, when we all know it was the long-lost Angie who should have been there.
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* [[Christmas Special]]: Two Christmas specials were made in 1994 and 1996 respectively, although neither special specifically deals with a Christmas theme.
** The 1994 special is the more memorable of the two, showing the leisure centre staff in various vocations on New Years Eve in the year 2019, as they recall New Years Eve of 1991 when they were trapped in the centre with each other for days during a fierce blizzard.
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** The 1996 special features Brittas and the staff on a survival course in Wales where, amongst other things, they end up targeted by a serial-killing Santa Claus.
* [[Chuck Cunningham Syndrome]]: A classic example. The beautiful Angie appears as Gordon's secretary in all episodes of series 1. From series 2 onwards, she is randomly replaced by a new secretary, Julie, with no grand entrance for Julie and absolutely no explanation for Angie's absence. The producers even went as far as retconning Angie out of the continuity in the 1994 Christmas Special, which depicts Julie as having worked at the leisure centre only days after it first opened in series 1.
** Penny Bidmead, the sauna and solarium manager, was also dropped after just one series, with the only sliver of an explanation being that her sauna is up for lease. Unlike Angie however, she wasn't replaced.
** Another very minor example is the Brittas's next door neighbour Pam, who befriends Helen in series 1 before disappearing, presumably because her role was more easily filled by Laura (and later, Penny).
* [[Clingy Jealous Girl|Clingy Jealous Guy]]: Tim, to the more level-headed Gavin.
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]: Gordon Brittas, who finds time to hold morning singalongs and team-building exercises, even while stranded for days in a blizzard with no food, electricity or heat.
** Colin is farther out than Brittas. Remember when he saw ''aliens'' and hung himself from a coat rack in defence?
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* [[Disproportionate Retribution]]: People do tend to over-react to Gordon's criticisms.
* [[Does Not Understand Sarcasm]]: Actually, make that Does Not Understand Anything Subtler Than Total Brute Honesty.
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'''Helen''': Oh, you didn't...
'''Laura''': I just never thought. }}
** Cue [[Cringe Comedy]].
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** Gordon's unbreakable self-esteem can be traced to his father having constantly showered him with praise since the day he was born.
** Helen's neuroses and history of depression are implied to stem from her parents' disparaging and hypercritical attitude toward her.
** Carole's constant woes and low sense of self-worth appear to be a result of her parents constantly discouraging her from pursuing her dreams and instead sending her to Beauty School so she could learn to make herself more attractive to men.
* [[Genki Girl]]: Linda, also the only staff member who seems to respect and admire Brittas, apart from Colin.
* [[Gonk]]: Throughout the series, Colin looks like he's just crawled out of a coal mine in 1970's Newcastle. He has a septic, diseased right hand covered in moldy bandages, which complements the massive boil on his right cheek, his disgustingly greasy, matted hair, filthy clothes and persistent bad body odour. He retains these "characteristics" for the show's entire run.
** Subverted in one episode where Colin turns up clean-shaven in a suit, tie and blazer, impersonating Gordon Brittas for a day while his illegitimate Australian daughter is visiting him.
* [[Grand Staircase Entrance]]: In the 1994 Christmas Special set in the year 2019, a butler introduces Sir Gordon and Lady Brittas as they majestically walk arm-in-arm down a massive staircase in a Scottish castle.
* [[Handsome Lech]]: The gynaecologist in the series 2 finale, who ropes Linda into helping him deliver a calf before smoothly asking her out to dinner. "You'll be safe...I'm a doctor..."
** Also John Rawlinson, the dodgy lawyer who Helen has an affair with.
{{quote|
'''John''': Well, I suggest we go round to a hotel and I buy you a jolly good lunch.
'''Helen''': I'm afraid I'm not really very hungry.
'''John''': We could just go to a hotel... }}
* [[Heroic Sacrifice]]: {{spoiler|Brittas himself; pushing someone out of the way of a collapsing roof and getting crushed himself. This allows him to get into Heaven despite all the lives he's ruined...[[Status Quo Is God|it doesn't last]], because even ''Saint Peter'' can't stand Brittas.}}
* [[Hey, It's That Guy!]]: The obvious example here being Chris Barrie as Gordon Brittas. The role is much less recognized than his ''[[
** Pippa Haywood as Helen Brittas also went on to play HR Director Joanna Clore in ''[[Green Wing]]'', who is even more sexually frustrated than Helen is.
** Billy Mitchell from ''[[Eastenders]]'' makes a one-time appearance as dodgy criminal-turned-leisure centre volunteer Edward Barratt, pretty much the only time actor Perry Fenwick has actually been seen outside of Albert Square. Funny thing is, he still looks exactly the same 20 years later.
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* [[Hypercompetent Sidekick]]: Laura, so much. Every time Brittas leaves her in charge, business booms and the centre runs like clockwork. The thought of her leaving is enough to reduce Helen to tears.
* [[Hypno Fool]]
* [[I Just Shot Marvin in
* [[Kicked Upstairs]]: It is hinted at by various characters that both Gordon and Colin landed in their Manager roles due to their appalling but well-meaning incompetence at previous leisure centres. Gordon even (almost) becomes a high-ranking EU Commissioner, with three European mansions and a limousine, in a desperate attempt by Councillor Druggett to remove him from the leisure centre.
* [[Load-Bearing Hero]]
* [[Mama Bear]]: When Carol thinks her baby is in danger, she's perfectly capable of commandeering a digger and using it to smash up Brittas' car. With him inside it.
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* [[May-December Romance]]: Linda's long-term boyfriend Edward is someone she knows from school...''her headmaster''. Carole also goes through several boyfriends who are at least in their 50s.
* [[Modern Major-General]]: One way to look at Brittas.
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* [[Number Two]]: For chrissakes, her name is even Laura [[The Lancer|Lancing]].
* [[Obstructive Bureaucrat]]: Councillor Druggett, who understandably wants to get rid of Gordon Brittas by any means necessary. [[The Scrappy|He can be enough of a jerk that you're rooting for Brittas.]] Brittas himself has more than a few instances of this too. Like spending well over a minute to explain why he doesn't give change for the bus (ending in "it takes too long") or refusing to let people book the badminton court for more than 40 minutes, even when no one else had even tried to book it that day.
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* [[Only Sane Employee]]: Laura.
* [[Oop North]]: The centre is set in a small town in the extreme south of England, and most of its staff members are locals. Colin and Julie, from Sunderland and Rotherham respectively, are the exceptions, with their funny northern accents and general lack of cohesiveness with the rest of the hard-working team.
* [[Open
{{quote|
'''Laura''': Helen! That's fantastic!
'''Helen''': Well after today's events, I thought the news had rather lost its novelty value. }}
* [[Pet the Dog]]: Gordon sacks Colin after he splits open Tim's skull and nearly kills two customers in the pool while trying to save a drowning youngster. After protests and outcry from the rest of the team at his sacking, Gordon instead decides to "promote" Colin from Deputy Manager Wet (an actual management position) to "Manager of Building Fabric" (basically a toilet cleaner).
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* [[Running Gag]]:
** Brittas ordering leisure centre badges that get 'accidentally' misprinted as a matter of routine:
{{quote|
"[[Getting Crap Past the Radar|'S'hitbury]] Leisure Centre"
"I Fartied with Mr. Jolly"
"I Piddled for a Medal" }}
** Colin going to shake someone's hand and having his plaster come off on them.
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* [[Screaming Birth]]: Helen Brittas's disastrous birth of her twins in the middle of Whitbury High Street, delivered by passing transvestite medical students, after Gordon manages to get their car boxed in.
* [[Serious Business]]: Pretty much the entire show is based upon Gordon Brittas taking his job far, far, far too seriously. Just the kind of bureaucratic nightmare manager who insists on banning pensioners from the pool for taking too long to change. Or ousting little children from a charity swimathon because they were wading instead of swimming. Or requiring triplicate claims forms, identification and CCTV footage over a 20 pence piece in a coffee machine. The list goes on...
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* [[Servile Snarker]]: Laura. She likes Brittas more than most, but she still needs some heavy snarking at his expense to get through the day.
* [[Shout
* [[
* [[Spanner in
* [[Spiritual Successor]]: ''A Prince Among Men'' was basically the same series, the key differences being that Chris Barrie was playing an ex-footballer, and that the series utterly sucked.
* [[Status Quo Is God]]: And ''how''. The leisure centre is blown up, burned down twice, fully computerised and ''attacked by an army of Romans complete with war elephants'' but it just doesn't take. The title character {{spoiler|''dies'' and he's back by the end of the episode}}.
* [[Stuff Blowing Up]]: Plenty of disastrous explosions are peppered throughout the series, the biggest one being at the end of series 4. A motley collection of [[Chekhov's Gun|Chekhov's Guns]] build up and cause the entire leisure centre to blow up from a gas leak. The explosion completely razes the building to the ground, but miraculously, everybody survives.
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* [[Take Off Your Clothes]]: Gordon demands Tim take his clothes off to prove that he isn't a pregnant woman. When Tim refuses, Gordon rather disturbingly assaults him and attempts to rip his clothes off in an [[Ambiguously Gay
** Gavin punches Gordon in the face and breaks his nose to rescue Tim. This actually earns Gavin a permanent Deputy Manager position, as it disproves Gavin's own ambiguous gayness in Gordon's eyes.
* [[Training
▲* [[Ted Baxter]]: Gordon's father taught him to have an unshakeable belief in his own abilities. It might have been a positive thing if he actually had any.
▲* [[Training From Hell]]: After Gavin is promoted to Acting Deputy Manager, Gordon puts him through extreme "disaster training". Poor Gavin is lead to believe a tanker full of ethanol chloride has crashed into a milk float ouside the centre and caused a spillage of hydrochloric acid, a bus full of school children are trapped in the acid spill, a serious fire has broken out in the squash courts and a woman has become trapped inside a sunbed with only minutes left to live...''on his first day.'' Gavin doesn't handle it very well and has a mini-breakdown at the end of the episode.
* [[Turn in Your Badge]]: Gavin jumps the gun and orders a manager's nameplate for his desk. Gordon isn't happy to receive it by mistake, days before his departure to Europe, and it is implied it partly influences his decision to stay behind.
* [[Unresolved Sexual Tension]]: Laura disappears to America with her husband Michael T. Farrell III to raise their baby son, Barney. After lots of flirting and time spent with each other outside of work, Gordon is left hanging. Lampshaded when he lulls himself into a [[Daydream Surprise]], where Laura confesses her feelings to him, before climbing onto Gordon's lap and passionately snogging him.
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* [[Weirdness Magnet]]: Anything can happen at Whitbury Newtown. ''Anything''! From a gas leak, to an ostrich getting loose to a Roman Legion destroying the centre.
* [[Zany Scheme]]: Gordon's rehearsal for the christening of his baby twins.
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:British Series]]
[[Category:Britains Best Sitcom (TV)]]▼
[[Category:Britcom]]
[[Category:The Brittas Empire]]
[[Category:TV Series]]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Brittas Empire, The}}
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