The Colbert Report/WMG: Difference between revisions

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== The 'real' Stephen is fake, and the 'fake' Stephen is real ==
The Stephen Colbert of [[The Colbert Report (TV)|The Colbert Report]] may seem to be a satire to point out the ridiculousness of the Republican Party in America, who is played by the real Stephen Colbert, a Democrat. However, the Stephen on the show is the real one, and the 'real' one is what the actual Stephen ''thinks'' is satire. This is why he has shown up at Meet the Press and the infamous [[Crowning Moment/Real Life|White House Correspondents dinner]] in character.
* Also, an attempt to run for President without any political experience is exactly what a satirical character would do - but Colbert was running as a Democrat.
* Apparently there's been a study that shows Colbert has conservative fans who believe exactly that: he "only pretends to be joking".
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* One of his favorite ways of messing with us may be reading these theories about him and [[Sure Why Not|"confirming" them on his show]]. If this is the case, then we're in for a hell of a good time.
 
== Stephen is being mind-controlled by Marik from [[Yu-Gi-Oh!: theThe Abridged Series]]. ==
He is being made to brainwash America through his television show. His fans have shown a creepy tendency to do whatever he says; if Marik makes Stephen to tell his fans to do something, they'll do it. Thus, Marik can enslave all of America. And his name is Steve.
* No silly, Stephen IS Marik from [[Yu-Gi-Oh!: theThe Abridged Series]].
 
== Stephen is [[The Bible|the Second Coming.]] ==
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* That's ridiculous, Colbert wears glasses! And, uh...hmm.
 
== Sweetness talking is a long-running gag by ''[[The Colbert Report (TV)|The Colbert Report]]'' staff and a corrupt surgeon. ==
They had a remote-frequency hearing aid powered by one of those tiny, movement-recharged power cells inserted into his deaf (or deafened) ear, and whisper into it whenever he is holding the gun. Fortunately, their plan to get him to [[I Just Shot Marvin in Thethe Face|ignore gun safety]] backfired when it ricocheted off his balls,
 
== Colbert is actually reasonably conservative, ==
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Ever seen those petitions to have Stephen Colbert voice America from ''[[Axis Powers Hetalia]]?'' He won't have to since he's pretty much Alfred in a dyed wig. I mean, he's hyper, brash, uber-patriotic and loves burgers and apple pie. He got his hatred of bears from a bad visit to Canada.
 
== Stephen got his hatred of bears by playing [[Banjo -Kazooie]] as a child and not being very good at it. ==
...Nope, me either.
* The biggest problem with this is that [[Banjo -Kazooie]] was released in 1998. But then again... Time Lord.
 
== We are all [[Everyone Is Jesus in Purgatory|Stephen Colbert in Purgatory]]. ==