The Nostalgia Chick/Quotes: Difference between revisions

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{{quote|''Sorry, I think I accidentally changed it to skinemax.''|'''Chick''', on the "sex" scene in ''[[Teen Witch]]''.}}
 
{{quote|'''Louise''': I want to be the most popular girl in school.<br />
'''Chick''': Of course! It's like they can see into my self-indulgent teenage mind!|'''[[Teen Witch]]'''}}
 
{{quote|'''Chick''': Point is, godlike powers are fun and all, but they're only really fun if you extend them on the things that really and truly matter in life.<br />
'''Cheerleaders''': I! Like! Boys!<br />
'''Chick''': That's right, girls.|'''[[Teen Witch]]'''}}
 
{{quote| '''"Rasputin"''': I had nothing to do with flames of unhappiness!<br />
'''Chick''': Well, you kinda did. See, you're creepy and have that beard... }}
 
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{{quote|''"Again, I think they're trying to be funny. I'm not sure, they ''are'' British."''|'''Chick''', ''[[Spice World]]''}}
 
{{quote| ''"I'll miss you, New York."''}}
 
{{quote| ''"Santa Baby, I need a hundred and sixty grand. Grad school's kinda expensive. Santa Baby, I actually think fat guys are kinda hot."''}}
 
{{quote| ''"If you grew up in the South like I did, then you probably know this song, and you also know that southerners find nothing more ''hilarious'' than alcoholism, especially paired with domestic abuse."''}}
 
{{quote| [southern accent] ''"Y'mean there's life outside the Walmart?"''}}
 
{{quote|''"Stop filming me!"''|'''Elisa''', ''The Top 11 Disturbing Christmas Songs''.}}
 
{{quote|'''David Bowie''': "...I will be your slave."<br />
'''Chick''': "Um, sounds like a pretty sweet deal?"|''[[Labyrinth]]''}}
 
{{quote| ''"Hi, I'm Lindsay, star of such internet ''phenomena'' as the Nostalgia Chick."''}}
 
{{quote| ''"When have I even displayed even the slightest of attractions to the Critic? He's all [mumbling] beardy and ew."''}}
 
{{quote| '''Nella''': "Well you two have a lot in common."<br />
'''Chick''': [quick and with a [[Death Glare]]] "Like what?" }}
 
{{quote| '''Chick''': "Oh My God! You and I haven't watched the MLP movie in like three days!"<br />
'''Nella''': "Go on a date, out of this apartment, away from me, for more than three hours... people are starting to talk." }}
 
{{quote| '''Chick''': "Wanna get something to eat?"<br />
'''Critic''': "Yes!"<br />
'''Chick''': "You wanna go out?"<br />
'''Critic''': "No."<br />
'''Chick''': "Why not?"<br />
'''Critic''': "I- I don't have a car." }}
 
{{quote|'''Chick''': "So did you ever watch like GI Joe or-"<br />
'''Critic''': [has snapped] "I've had it! You're always asking me these questions! I'm not the answer man, I don't know everything! Don't you understand me? Don't you care? Gawwwwwd!"|''Thanks For The Feedback''}}
 
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{{quote|''"Nella!"''|'''Chick''', constantly.}}
 
{{quote| "Electric Light Orchestra, Olivia Newton John, Gene Kelly and aliens, c'mon, how can this not be the greatest thing ever?"}}
 
{{quote|''"Why are you obstructing your robot with a shitty fog machine? It's a robot! Let us see the robot!"''|'''Chick''', ''[[Xanadu]]''}}
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{{quote|''"I hate the world."''|''[[Bratz]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Critic''': [gradually sounding like his normal self]: "Okay, no no no no no no, you are so wrong! No, no! I'm not in here!"<br />
'''Chick''': "I know it's you!"<br />
'''Critic''': "Hold on! Hold on! Think about it, do you really want to leave now in the middle of this bad movie?"<br />
'''Chick''': "YES!"<br />
'''Critic''': "Hear me out! If you leave now, you will never know just how bad this movie is, and you can tell people that you sat through the worst piece of shit that has ever been made by humans."<br />
'''Chick''': Can I punch you first?<br />
'''Critic''': No.|''[[Bratz]]''}}
 
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{{quote|''"How does going with the hotter guy with the amazing orgasm touch, can pick up any talent instantly, bows to your beck and call and can take you to other planets... okay point taken, I'm going to see what's going on by the pool, see if anything... develops."'' *runs*|'''Chick''', ''[[Earth Girls Are Easy]]''.}}
 
{{quote| "Little girls are waiting on bated breath for their wedding day. I know I was... when I was six."}}
 
{{quote|"Here's the thing about dreams: they may provide escape from the real world, but they set [[Disney Princess|expectations]] for the real world too." |'''Chick''', ''Disney Princesses''}}
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{{quote|"No, Lisa, we're progressive here! We're here to make Nella desirable to men, not paperbag our problems away!"|'''Chick''', ''[[Grease]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Makeover Fairy''': "You don't know how hard this was! I mean, look what I had to work with! I'm just a fairy!" [cries]<br />
'''Nella''': "There there, Lisa. It's not you, it's me. I'm like the Makeover Goblin, I'm sure if you'd made anyone else over it would have been fabulous."|''[[Grease]]''}}
 
{{quote|''"I remember how crappy my life was back when I had hot friends. See, I'm not the prettiest person, or the thinnest, or the tallest."''|'''Chick''', ''[[Grease]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Nella''': "Low self esteem?"<br />
'''Chick''': "Yeah, hopelessly."|''Thanks For The Feedback II''}}
 
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{{quote|''"And to everyone who wants to bitch about it not being accurate to Greek Mythology, I kindly request you go stuff a ballgag in your mouth and sit in the corner."''|''[[Hercules (Disney film)|Hercules]]''}}
 
{{quote| '''Dr. Block''': "Hello, I'm Dr. Block, and I'm a mad scientist. In fact, I'm ''furious'' at the inaccurate and offensive portrayal of science by Hollywood."<br />
'''Dr. Tease''': "I'm Dr. Tease, and I'm a babe scientist, I think science is frivolous and fun." }}
 
{{quote|"Or in my case, it's creating a walking, dish-doing, intelligent, fuckable coffee-pot."|'''Chick''', ''Playing God''}}
 
{{quote| '''Chickbot''': "I was not God's will!"<br />
'''Chick''': "I'm not paying you to talk."<br />
'''Chickbot''': "Mistress does not pay me at all..."<br />
'''Chick''': "Shut up, top me off and drop trou. These nuts ain't going to bust themselves." }}
 
{{quote| '''Chickbot''': "Hypocrite!" }}
 
{{quote|'''Chickbot''': "Why did she program me with a soul of a poet?"|''Playing God''}}
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{{quote|"Leave my dreams, Will Smith fish!"|'''Chick''', ''Dreamworks vs. Disney''}}
 
{{quote|'''Chick''': "Begone, minion!"<br />
'''Nella''': "''Minion''?"|''Dreamworks vs. Disney''}}
 
{{quote|'''Chick''': "Nobody likes puns, Disney, come on..."<br />
'''Nella''': [miserably] "Nella likes puns."<br />
'''Chick''': "As I was saying, nobody likes puns."<br />
'''Nella''': [Slopes away like a beaten dog.]|''Dreamworks vs. Disney''}}
 
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{{quote|[while Chick ignores her] ''"Hey Lindsay, I just got my fortune! It says, um, you were born under a star that should have made your life a pathway of roses but it has not been so because you trusted in others that are not real friends but seek to only use you for selfish ends. The time is coming for you to make your mark in life, later in life you will acquire some more property! I may have a little hardship in managing my property... I'm gonna go get another fortune."''|'''Nella''', ''Dreamworks vs. Disney''}}
 
{{quote|'''Nella''':"So my New Year's resolution is to treat my friends with dignity and respect." <br />
'''Chick''': "Yeah, my New Year's resolution is for you to do my dishes. They're not gonna wash themselves!"|''Thanks For The Feedback III''}}
 
{{quote|[arguing with Douchey] "Well I get my [[MacGuffin]] definition from that bastion of credibility and dignity, Mr. George Lucas. He has the same dignified, totally worthwhile degree that I have!"|''[[The Fifth Element]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Alien lady''': "She's more fragile than she seems."<br />
'''Chick''': "After all, she ''is'' a she."|''[[The Fifth Element]]''}}
 
{{quote|''"Leeloo looks up war and she loses the will to live because she's a woman."''|'''Chick''', ''[[The Fifth Element]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Nella''': "You're a nerd too! Don't try to act like you're somehow better than other Star Trek nerds just because you like Picard!"<br />
'''Chick''': I ''am'' better than a nerd, I'm an academic, just like Picard."<br />
'''Nella''': "You delude yourself by denying your inner fangirl. You should embrace it, for ''that'' is what gives us power."|''Kirk vs. Picard''}}
 
{{quote|''"The only thing that fuels me is my sadness."''|'''Chickbot''', ''Kirk vs. Picard''}}
 
{{quote|'''Chick''': "Robot!"<br />
'''Chickbot''': "You bellowed, your dictatorship?"|''Kirk vs. Picard''}}
 
{{quote|''"Why was I programmed against suicide?"''|'''Chickbot''', ''Kirk vs. Picard''}}
 
{{quote|'''Chick''': "...you live in such squalor."<br />
'''Nella''': "...I just moved. How did you find me already?"|''Kirk vs. Picard''}}
 
{{quote|'''Nella''': "I-I never thought a ladder would be my doom."<br />
'''Chick''': "Neither did I!"<br />
'''Nella''': "Lindsay, come closer, closer... Kirk was the best!" [dies]<br />
'''Chick''': "[[Skyward Scream|NOOOOOO]]!"|''Kirk vs. Picard''}}
 
{{quote|''"So I heard you were in need of a sidekick, and this review has gotten really boring and analytical, so I figured I'd come help."''|'''Dr. Tease''', ''[[X-Men]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Dr. Tease''': "X-Men is a science game, I know a thing or two about science."<br />
'''Chick''': "Well I know everything and I only need one sidekick that's going to lick me constantly, so you can just peace the hell out."|''[[X-Men]]''}}
 
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{{quote|'''Dr. Tease''': "Why would Nella leave her Star Trek shirt there?"<br />
'''Chick''': "Sometimes shirts get left on chairs, it's not weird!"|''[[X-Men]]''}}
 
{{quote|''"Oh hug me beast! You're so blue! I love blue things!"''|'''Chick''', ''[[X-Men]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Dr. Tease''': "You miss your Nella, right?"<br />
'''Chick''': "Yeah..."<br />
'''Dr. Tease''': "Cloning her is the logical solution!"<br />
'''Chick''': "No no no, you know I'm all about playing in God's domain but that's going way too far."|''[[X-Men]]''}}
 
{{quote|''"Ahh, God's domain. I have a timeshare there."''|'''Dr. Tease''', ''[[X-Men]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Dr. Tease''': "You're denying your inner fangirl!"<br />
'''Chick''': "No, I'm not! I grew out of that a long time ago, it was Nella's job to be the mindless fangirl and now she's dead and now this show will have to survive on hardcore analysis and puppies!"|''[[X-Men]]''}}
 
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{{quote|''"We wanted to be as witty and dry and untouchable as Daria, but we related to her vulnerability, whether you were an outsider or not. And Daria helped you laugh it off, snark it off and keep a perspective on what actually mattered."''|'''Chick''', ''[[Daria]]'' }}
 
{{quote|'''Chick''': [staring off into space] Best friends...<br />
'''Nella''': [smiling] Best friends forever!<br />
'''Chick''': And we'll always be friends, won't we...<br />
'''Nella''': Of course! As long as you don't default on your payments!|'''Top Ten Worst Disney Sequels'''}}
 
{{quote|'''Chick''': Interesting that when the Beast acts like an asshole like this, it always ends up fine despite him learning the lesson over and over. Every time I try this with a damsel it never pans out.<br />
*cut to Todd tied up again*<br />
'''Chick''': Wow, I sure do have a bad disposition. I think I need to be fixed.<br />
'''Todd''': You know, this didn't work the first five times you did this, Nostalgia Chick. I need to go to the bathroom.<br />
'''Chick''': (drunkenly singing while holding a teacup in the air) Oh, oh, inanimate object!<br />
'''Todd''': You want me to go to the bathroom in that?|'''Top Ten Worst Disney Sequels'''}}
 
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''"So this week we're going to try and be n- ni... less mean, and give you a less awful list to balance out the last one."''
{{quote| '''Chick''', ''Top Five Least Awful Disney Sequels''}}
 
{{quote|''"We get to watch Andy Dick ''die''. Mmm, I like that, yeah. Watch that again. Oh yeah, that feels nice, I don't know, like getting a back massage. Again? Yeah, I remember really digging this!"''|'''Chick''', ''Top Five Least Awful Disney Sequels''}}
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{{quote|''"Like Uncle Charlie used to say, you run around in the bullpen, you get fucking killed."''|'''Chick''', ''[[Song of the South]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Nella''': I'll just do your dishes for you, that you left in my sink. Again. <br />
'''Chick''': [to the audience] Oh no. It's... [sting] Catholic guilt.<br />
'''Nella''': I mean it's not like I'm getting paid for this, or letting you use my cable or...<br />
'''Chick''': Gotta go do another review that you're not in see you later. [runs off]<br />
'''Nella''': ...or letting you wash your clothes in my washer/dryer...|'''[[Sister Act]]'''}}
 
{{quote|'''Nun!Nella''': It's not as if I did all those dishes in your name when I should have been doing them in the name of our Lord.<br />
'''Chick''': [facepalming] Not the Catholic guilt again.<br />
'''Nun!Nella''': Or all those times I watched your dog when you ran off to stalk Todd in your futile attempts at fornication.<br />
'''Chick''': It's not fornication if we were married in a previous life.<br />
'''Nun!Nella''': Oh don't let me judge you, God will do that for me.|'''[[Sister Act]]'''}}