The Pope: Difference between revisions

=== Famous Popes (sorted in reverse chronological order): ===

* Benedict XVI (2005- ): The current guy, former name Joseph Ratzinger. He hails from Germany (and yes, he ''was'' recruited by the Hitler Youth as a kid; ''forcibly'', as it was The Law) and was Archbishop of Munich and Freising. Was very well-known as an intellectual before his ascension. Bets on his imminent demise by old age are ongoing as are speculations that he is gay. Conservative and not very good with getting the media to accurately express his views. He's tabooed condoms, and reconciled (de-excommunicated) four traditionalist Bishops who were illicitly ordained. Among them was [[A Nazi by Any Other Name|Bishop Richard Williamson]], a Holocaust denier, [[Did Not Do the Research|for lack of a Google search]]. [[Face of a Thug|Looks just like]] [[Star Wars|Emperor Palpatine]] according to some, this being the source of one too many [[Memetic Mutation|Memetic Mutations]]s, and the accusation is not helped by the fact that his previous job was the the head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (previously known as the Holy Office, or more importantly, the Roman ''Inquisition''); his infamous nicknames "God's Rottweiler" and "Panzerkardinal" also don't help, nor does the aforementioned Hitler Youth membership. He reinstated the [[wikipedia:Tridentine Mass|Tridentine Mass]] (traditional Latin ritual), to the glee of some Catholics and the dismay of others, and the new translation was implemented under his watch. Again, some Catholics rejoiced, some despaired, most (churchgoing ones at least) simply resolved to read the new responses until they were memorized.

* Bl. (Blessed) John Paul II (1978-2005, beatified May 1, 2011): The one before him, real name Karol Jozef Wojtyła. Polish (was the Archbishop of Krakow before being chosen), and the first non-Italian in the job for ''centuries''. Also known, especially after his death, as Pope John Paul the Great. Unusually young (at least in recent history) when chosen (he was fifty-eight years old), partly out of a desire not to have to hold another conclave for a decade (they managed almost ''three''). Had the second-longest papal reign in history -- ahistory—a little over 26 years. ''Staunchly'' conservative, had great publicity and charisma as well as [[Large Ham|a very large presence]] ''and'' did travel through the whole world (hence his nickname "The Pilgrim Pope"). One trip to the Philippines saw the largest crowd in history gathered to see him. Said to have been important in the fall of the various Communist governments. Famously almost assassinated then [[Crowning Moment of Heartwarming|forgave and visited his assassin in prison]]. Humor-minded history teachers have [[Memetic Badass|likened him to]] [[James Bond]] (without the sex, of course). Also re-invented as a super-hero, The Incredible Popeman.

** His beatification on May 1, 2011 (last step to canonization--whereuponcanonization—whereupon he will be declared a saint), makes him the latest pope to be beatified. At his funeral, young people chanted "Santo subito!" (saint immediately) and Benny put his predecessor on the fast track by waiving the traditional 5-year wait before official sainthood inquiries begin. On the flip side of the coin, JPII consecrated and beatified more people than every pope in the last 5 centuries combined. ([[The Onion]] had their [http://www.theonion.com/articles/aging-pope-just-blessing-everything-in-sight-say-c,1585/ own theory] as to why.)

* Paul VI (1963-781963–78): His predecessor, real name Giovanni Battista Montini. An intellectual type, he oversaw the Second Vatican Council (Vatican II for short), which introduced numerous sweeping reforms to Church practices. Also famous for being the first Pope in centuries to travel outside the Vatican more or less regularly. He's also famous for releasing the encyclical ''Humanae Vitae'', which reiterated the Church's opposition to birth control (or birth control that's not NFP, the rhythm method, or total abstinence). [[Sarcasm Mode|It was widely accepted, noncontroversial, and obeyed by nearly all Catholics.]]

* Bl. John XXIII (1958-631958–63): His predecessor, real name Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli. Considered more liberal and progressive in his time, compared to his immediate predecessors. 76 years old when elected, he was expected to rule for only a short, uneventful term, but revolutionized the office by his warm down-to-earth approach to the job. He called the Vatican II Council, which would end up renewing Catholicism as a whole, and was finished by his succesor Paul VI. Generally known as "The Good Pope" for his easy smile and gentleness. Is currently a Blessed, just one miracle short of being officially declared a Saint.

* Pius IX (1846-781846–78): Born Giovanni Mastai-Feretti Longest ruling pope ever (32 years) and the last pope to be secular ruler over Rome and its surroundings. Real name, Giovanni Maria Mastai-Ferretti. Often known as "Pio Nono," even by non-Italian speakers. Called the First Vatican council, which confirmed the Pope's supremacy over the Church and Papal infallibility. He officially declared the Virgin Mary's Immaculate Conception,<ref> Which simply means she was born without Original Sin, i.e. she was a [[Purity Sue]], if you will. It is ''not'' the same as the birth of Christ to her while a Virgin; that is called the Virgin Birth</ref>, based on the Lourdes apparitions. Often accused of being quite the [[Hot-Blooded]] [[Jerkass]] in person. Like John XXIII, he is also a Blessed.

* Urban VIII (1623-441623–44): Real name, Maffeo Barberini. Pope during the height of the Baroque period in art and patron of famous architects Bernini and Borromini. His name and crest can be seen on numerous monuments in Rome today, including the decorations on St. Peter's Basilica. Member of the powerful Barberini family, whose house is now the Italian National Gallery of Art. Personal friend of Galileo, until there was a falling out over the astronomer's ''Dialogo sopra i due massimi sistemi del mondo''.

* Gregory XIII (1572-851572–85): Real name, Ugo Boncompagni. Promulgated the calendar used in the western world to this day and worked hard to put into practice the principles of the Council of Trent.

* St. Pius V (1566-721566–72): Real name, Antonio Ghislieri. Standardised the Mass for about four centuries in the Council of Trent and excommunicated Queen Elizabeth I. Presided over the great naval victory over the Muslims at Lepanto. Probably one of the most [[Badass]] [[Badass Preacher|Popes]] due his part in assembling the Christian coalition against the Turks, and that the battle greatly revived the prestige of the politically faltering Church. His nickname was [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast|the Hound of God]].

** His nickname is also a play on his order--Storder—St. Pius V was a Dominican. ''Domini Canes,'' a play on that term, means "Hounds of the Lord."

* Adrian VI (1522-231522–23): Born in Utrecht, he was the last non-Italian pope until John Paul II was chosen 475 years later. Launched the Counter-Reformation. One of only two popes (along with Marcellus II 32 years later) to keep their birth name as their papal name.

* Leo X (1513-211513–21): Real name, Giovanni de' Medici. The son of [[The Magnificent|Lorenzo the Magnificent]], mainly remembered for promoting the sale of indulgences for money to such an extent that it sparked the Lutheran reformation in the 16th century. Famously called the Reformation "some quarrel of monks". Patronized art and literature in Rome to an extraordinary extent, establishing a papal court that was the envy of Renaissance Italy.

* Clement V (1305-141305–14): Real name, Raymond Bertrand de Got. The French pope who had [[The Knights Templar]] condemned for heresy, mainly as a favor to the French king, Philip the Fair, and they both died within the year (allegedly, he and the King were cursed by the last Templar Grand Master, Jacques de Molay, while was burning at the stake). Moved the Papal court away from Rome and eventually settled in Avignon, where the Papacy would stay until 1403.

* Urban II (1088-991088–99): Started the [[The Crusades|First Crusade]] at Clermont in France, inspiring his audience to pronounce the words "''Deus vult!''" ("God wills it!"). (There is a report, much beloved by [[The Cartoon History of the Universe|Larry Gonick]], that the two Orthodox priests the Byzantine Emperor had sent to watch the proceedings fainted on the spot from so much air coming out of the unwashed mouths of the Franks).

* Stephen VI (896-97): Real name: also Stephen.<ref>While John II was the first pope to change his name, it was not until John XIV in the late 10th Century that this became a recurring theme of the papacy. Before that, only three people had changed their name upon becoming pope, all to "John".</ref>. Largely infamous for the Cadaver Synod, where he put his predecessor Pope Formosus on trial for a number of crimes... despite the fact that Formosus had been ''dead'' for about a year. He was later incarcerated and soon found dead by strangulation.

=== Popes Who Never Existed ===

=== The Pope In Fiction ===