Who Writes This Crap?: Difference between revisions

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{{trope}}
{{quote|''"Whoever wrote this episode SHOULD DIE!!"''|'''Gwen''', ''[[Galaxy Quest (Film)|Galaxy Quest]]''}}
 
Sometimes [[Lampshade Hanging]] isn't enough. That's when this trope comes in, which is outright bashing on bad writing. Often expressed in the phrase, "Who writes this crap?" but there are other ways as well, of varying subtlety.
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** In the original, he says something like "I can't make that sound cool" after losing his enthusiasm towards the end of his line.
* Lord Ryuu says exactly this during a battle in ''[[RG Veda]]''. Kind of jarring considering it's a ''Fantasy'' series.
* In ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh! GX]]'', during a duel between Chazz and Adrian Gecko, Adrian retorts to Chazz's lame comebacks with "The sooner I beat you, the less bad dialogue I have to hear!"
** That whole episode had many a [[Shout-Out]] to ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!: theThe Abridged Series]]'', proving even [[4Kids! Entertainment]] can be funny if they try. Unfortunately that seemed to have been the only time they did that.
* In ''[[Sgt Frog]]'', the Funimation Dub gives the narrator a few lines. Even the CHARACTERS take notice of how he hates the show, and is only doing the job due to being in debt from too much gambling.
* In ''[[Mahou Sensei Negima]]'', [[Meta Guy|Chisame]] is vocally annoyed by the lack of foreshadowing for {{spoiler|Zazie's appearance in the Magic World.}}
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* Would occasionally crop up in Giffen and DeMatteis's ''[[Justice League of America|Justice League]]''.
* [[Power Girl]] never quite gets out the actual line, but when Vartox reveals that he has come to Earth because his planet is dying and [[Only You Can Repopulate My Race|he needs her help to repopulate the species]] she finds the entire story completely ridiculous.
* Done '''literally''' in the final issue of [[Grant Morrison (Creator)|Grant Morrison]]'s run on ''[[Animal Man (Comic Book)|Animal Man]]'', when Animal Man ''meets'' [[Author Avatar|Grant Morrison]].
* During her [[Meta Guy|"meta" phase]], [[She Hulk]] would often despair at the crap she was forced to act out.
 
 
== Fan Works ==
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!: theThe Abridged Series]]'' and Megami33's ''[[Sailor Moon Abridged]]'' like to take [[Macekre|Macekreed]] lines and say them ''as they are written'', wholesale or paraphrased. You see [[Not Making This Up Disclaimer|disclaimers]] that this is the case.
{{quote| "In a few hours the sun will rise!" -- Tristan}}
** Finally, Raye got fed up with this.
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''(end of actual dialogue)''<br />
'''Raye:''' Okay, who the <nowiki>*bleep*</nowiki> writes these lines? }}
* There was one in ''[[Avatar: theThe Abridged Series]]'' too, just after Aang get pwned by Jet: "Okay, seriously, ''what the crap''? Who ''wrote'' this episode?"
** Turns out Iroh taught Zuko how to break the fourth wall.
* In episode 7 of ''[[Wedding Peach Abridged]]'', Jama P told the love angels about the devil infecting rice with "the essence of fatness", and when they said it was lame, he said, "Hey! I didn't write this script, so don't complain to me!"
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* In ''[[Evangelion Abridged]]'', Misato says "I have a bad feeling about this... who writes this crap?"
* ''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8urXdyee7g Avatar The Last Puppet Bender]'' has this as the final punchline to the episode.
* ''[[JojosJo Jo's Bizarre Adventure Abridged|Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Abridged]]'': "What's zat? You say I can beat your bum?"
** The words in the original manga were "What's that? You say you beat your pistol?", which isn't much better.
* ''[[Re Boot the Abridged Series]]''
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** FYI, the flamingoes use the yo-yo string to clean their beaks. Just... don't ask how I know that.
*** *deep breath*
* In ''[[Atlantis: theThe Lost Empire]],'' Ms. Packard complains about one of the bad jokes on the intercom announcements:
{{quote| "Attention. Tonight's supper will be baked beans. Musical program to follow... Who wrote this?"}}
 
 
== Films -- Live-Action ==
* ''[[Galaxy Quest (Film)|Galaxy Quest]]''. [[And You Thought It Was a Game]] plus [[No OSHA Compliance]] equals [[Death Course]]:
{{quote| '''Gwen:''' I'm not doing this! This episode was badly written!<br />
''(after they make it through)''<br />
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* ''[[My Name Is Bruce]]'' starring [[Captain Obvious|Bruce]]... [[Bruce Campbell|Campbell]], to [[Adam Westing|self-deprecating effect]] has a kid coming to the drunken "[[Small Name, Big Ego|star]]" and extolling his need for help and explaining what is effectively the movie's plot. Bruce takes it as an indie film pitch, tells him to keep the budget under $500,000 and get one named actor, then gives himself an aside saying it's the [[Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard|stupidest pitch he's ever heard]].
* ''Delirious'' has a show-within-a-show example: the repairman fixes John Candy's cable, allowing them to see the lurid soap opera his TV producer character spends the movie [[Trapped in TV Land|trapped in]], prompting this exchange: "You watch this crap?" "No, I write this crap."
* ''[[Singin' in Thethe Rain (Film)|Singin in The Rain]]'': At the test screening of the [[Show Within a Show|movie within the movie]], when in a love scene the leading man makes a romantic speech consisting of saying "I love you" over and over again, one viewer sarcastically remarks, "Did somebody get paid for writing that dialogue?"
* Fenster's reaction to the words he was given in the lineup scene of ''[[The Usual Suspects]]''. This was actually a case of [[Throw It In]], as Benicio Del Toro could only say "Hand me the keys you fucking cocksucker" so many times with a straight face.
* In ''[[True Lies]]'', Schwarzenegger's character has [[Everythings Sexier in French|a French agent]] record some dialogue as part of a complicated scheme to punish his wife for (almost) cheating on him while also bringing some passion back into their marriage. Midway through, the agent complains, "Who wrote this shit? Harry? ''C'est la [[Foreign Cuss Word|merde!]]''"
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== Live-Action TV ==
* ''[[The A-Team (TV)|The A-Team]]'': In the Episode ''The Crystal Skull'', the natives' chants at the end of the show are clearly ''Who wrote this? Who wrote this?'' repeated over and over again.
* In one of the ''[[MTV Movie Awards]]'', the cheesy writing in awards shows was mocked. Someone said a horrible banter line, and the presenter said, "Who writes this crap?" What followed was a pre-filmed sketch with David Cross pretending to be an awards show writer -- specifically, a parody of actual awards show writer Bruce Vilanch. "I'm a patter writer! I write this crap!"
* [[The Daily Show|Jon Stewart]] and [[Stephen Colbert]] at the Emmys, complaining about the quality of the [[Witty Banter]] [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=JZu63SqFd38\].
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* ''[[Law and Order Special Victims Unit]]'':
{{quote| '''Detective Odafin Tutuola:''' Damn, who thinks this stuff up?}}
* In ''[[Black AdderBlackadder]] III'', the actors hired to give Prince George elocution lessons look over Blackadder's speech, snort, giggle, then finally say "Who wrote this drivel?!" This slight, combined with his general hatred of actors, is what causes Blackadder to seriously consider resigning as George's butler. Of course, being [[Magnificent Bastard|Blackadder]], he ends up {{spoiler|having the actors ''wrongly executed for treason''}}.
** It should be noted that [[Informed Flaw|we never actually had the chance to read the actual content of the script in question]]. In a previous episode, Blackadder is hinted to be of exceptional literary talent in-universe, with the show's [[Samuel Johnson]] (who hangs out with Byron, Shelley, and Coleridge, no less) declaring his ultimately unpublished novel as a masterpiece. So while the keywords were indeed spoken, we never knew whether it's actually meant as a [[Take That]] against bad writing or just sour grapes of pretentious actors.
* ''[[The Basil Brush Show]]'': "I'll have a word with the head writer when he gets home from school...."
* Characters on ''[[The Electric Company]]'' would occasionally ask "Who's the dummy writing this show?", particularly J. Arthur Crank.
* This trope is a recurring gag on ''[[The Monkees]]''.
** An episode parodying ''[[Robinson Crusoe (Literature)|Robinson Crusoe]]'' started with the Crusoe and Man Friday characters watching ''[[The Monkees]]'', and Friday saying "Who writes this stuff?'' Once the band arrived, he would repeat this frequently.
** Not exactly this trope, but in another episode, Micky is frustrated by a turn of events and stomps off the sound stage, past the cameras and crew, into a back room, and demands that the writers give him an idea to resolve the plot. They do, but he rejects it and returns to the set.
* ''[[Red Dwarf (TV)|Red Dwarf]]: Back to Earth'' has Rimmer reading what {{spoiler|the back of the DVD box}} says about him and exclaiming, "Neurotic? Neurotic?! I'm not neurotic! Who writes this stuff?!"
* In an episode of ''[[So You Think You Can Dance]]'' the host Cat Deely asked this after joking about a dancer's name that's pronounced "a day" -- "It was Ade to remember..."
* Canadian TV writer/producer Greg Lawrence often made references to his own apparent lack of writing skill in his shows ''[[Kevin Spencer]]'' and ''Butch Patterson: Private Dick''. As just one example:
{{quote| '''Female client:''' I can't believe you came all this way just to make a stupid sex joke.<br />
'''Butch:''' ''(also played by Lawrence)'' Just think how the writer feels. }}
* ''[[Supernatural (TV series)|Supernatural]]'' took potshots at some of its less well-written episodes in "The Monster at the End of this Book", wherein the author of the ''Supernatural'' book series, really a prophet, apologizes to the main characters for having forced them to live "bad writing".
* Commonly used in [[Spike Milligan]]'s ''Q'' series where Spike Milligan would often drop out of character during a sketch to complain about the poor quality of the writing "And I should know, I wrote it".
* Alton Brown says "Who writes this stuff?!" in the ''[[Good Eats]]'' popcorn episode after encountering a parody of Adam West [[Batman]].
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* ''[[Stargate SG-1]]'': Pretty much the point of "Wormhole X-Treme" is to give SG-1 and Co. a chance to say this. A good example is someone proposing that the third shot from a Zat Gun vaporizes its target (a retconned plot point from the early seasons) only to have a TV writer retort that that's "the stupidest thing [he's] ever heard."
** They also used "Citizen Joe", an episode where [[It Makes Sense in Context|a barber could see Jack O'Neill's life]] to mock some of their old episodes, particularly "Hathor", as well as some of the more complicated story points.
** They also took potshots at [[Roland Emmerich]]--writer of the original ''[[Stargate (Filmfilm)|Stargate]]'' film--by mocking his newer movies on the show.
** ''[[Stargate: Continuum]]'' has a line that's actually not [[Played for Laughs]]. As Daniel, Sam, and Mitchel are trying to explain to the incredulous [[Alternate Universe|alternate Air Force]] about the Stargate Program they get increasingly frustrated, causing Daniel to yell "Seriously, who would make this shit up?!"
* ''[[Stargate Atlantis (TV)|Stargate Atlantis]]'' had a quick mention, too, in ''Doppelganger'':
{{quote| '''Sheppard:''' I don't know. It's almost as if somebody in a warm, cosy room typing onto their computer sent us here for their own amusement.}}
* Fox Mulder in the fifth season ''[[The X-Files]]'' episode "Post-modern Prometheus"; "This isn't the way the story is supposed to end... I want to speak to the writer!"
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'''Buffy''': A vampire with a soul? Oh my God! How lame is that? }}
** The XBOX video game had Spike ask this in the midst of chanting out a demonic incantation.
* The episode "Worst Case Scenario" of ''[[Star Trek: Voyager]]'' featured a holodeck program written by Tuvok called "Insurrection Alpha," a tactical training scenario that the characters mistook for a holonovel. At one point, Paris was playing the program and ended up being trapped in the brig with a holographic Tuvok. He wanted to stage an escape attempt, as opposed to "just doing nothing." Tuvok replied that they were hardly doing nothing, but rather observing their captors for weaknesses and that they should keep doing so, even if it took a week for them to figure something out. At which point, Paris commented "A week? Who wrote this stuff?"
* Inverted in the ''[[Mystery Science Theater 3000]]'' episode "Soultaker", thanks to the fact that the riffed movie's female lead was also its writer.
{{quote| '''Mike:''' Hey, look, you wrote this crap!}}
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"Someone from the cryptography department. [[You Need to Get Laid|Someone in need of a girlfriend]], apparently." }}
* The ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' video game has Spike reading an invocation to summon a demon lord that's holding Dru's spirit hostage. In the middle of the invocation, he pauses to say, "Who writes this dross?"
* At the end of the dating sim parody in ''[[Super Paper Mario (Video Game)|Super Paper Mario]]'', no matter which responses are chosen, Peach will say a variation on this. "Hey! Who's picking these responses for me, anyway?!"
* Used by Zetta in ''[[Makai Kingdom]]''. Bonus points since he is literally (pun accidental, but intended) a book for the majority of the game. [[Cosmic Keystone|A book that actually contains the script.]]
* Happens once in ''[[Serious Sam|Serious Sam:The Second Encounter]]''
{{quote| "My flaming fists of fury will destroy you fiend! Ha ha ha...God, who writes this stuff!?"}}
* [[Justified Trope|Justified]] in ''[[Ratchet: Deadlocked]]'', since Dallas, the commentator in question, is...[[Too Dumb to Live|not quite the smartest person in the game]]. Even ''he'' can spot the key bad writing:
{{quote| "Too bad the shields took a direct hit... too bad I said 'Bingo-bango', who writes this junk?!?"}}
** Also happens during the Captain Qwark mini-games during ''[[Ratchet and Clank Up Your Arsenal]]''. The narrator in the opening and closing bits voices his disbelief of Qwark's supposed adventures. Didn't help that Qwark wrote the scripts.
* In one of the non-canon side stories in ''[[Tsukihime|Kagetsu Tohya]]'' Akiha suddenly remembers her twin sister! At which Shiki points out that's ridiculous, there was absolutely no foreshadowing or buildup and crummy as this story is that's just too dumb to let slide.
** You sure it wasn't [[Kara noKarano Kyoukai (Literature)|Kokutou Azaka]]?
* From the ''[[Smackdown vs. Raw]]'' series of wrestling games, known for their somewhat awkward commentary, Tazz describing a near pinfall: "If the referee hadn't cut his fingernails, that would've been three!... Who writes this stuff?"
* One of the outtakes in the end credits of ''[[Age of Mythology (Video Game)|Age of Mythology]]'' has Athena's voice actor wondering this about some of her lines.
* In ''[[Kirby Super Star]]'' Kirby gives a "Who writes this crap?" [[Aside Glance|look to the camera]] when the game calls him a "Pretty Jolly Guy".
* The Game Over screen of the [[ZX Spectrum]] game ''[[Blob The Cop]]'' consists of the following verse:
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JUST PRESS ANY KEY! <br />
''([[Beat]])'' God Who writes this rubbish? }}
* The first level of ''[[Emo Game]]'' has a boss battle against [[Creed]]. Before the fight, Scott Stapp explains that he and his band were literally formed from the shit of [[Pearl Jam (Music)|Eddie Vedder]], at which the player character remarks that at least they know they suck. Then Scott elaborates, saying that they have held onto that shit and used it to build an attack helicopter, and now they must kill you because you know their secret. Your response is "God, this plot is getting worse and worse."
* Lampshaded in ''[[Blast Corps]]'', where the government contracts you to demolish a bunch of stuff on the moon for reasons that don't really make any sense, but makes for a [[Rule of Fun|good level]].
* In the VCPR radio station of ''[[Grand Theft Auto Vice City Stories]]'', the announcer for Bait and Switch reads off "Dialectical materialism", stops, and says "Wrong script... who wrote this shit?" before Larry yells "Tits!" and the announcer accepts that in place.
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* Captain Smiley says this in the tutorial level of ''[[Comic Jumper]]'':
{{quote| '''Text Box:''' Captain Smiley is used to grabbing poles to make progress.<br />
'''Smiley:''' I'm "[[A Date Withwith Rosie Palms|used to grabbing poles]]"? Who writes this stuff?!<br />
'''Star:''' [[Vitriolic Best Buds|Someone awesome!]] }}
* One of Eggman's PA announcements in ''[[Sonic Colors (Video Game)|Sonic Colors]]'' has one too many "ocean" puns for his taste, leading him to wonder "who writes this drivel?". [[To Make a Long Story Short|As it turns out]], ''[[Hypocritical Humor|he]]'' [[Absent-Minded Professor|does]]!
* From ''[[Outlaw Golf]] 2'', this was one of [[Insomniac Withwith Dave Attell (TV)|Dave Attell's]] quips.
{{quote| "That ball is really moving! Is there a urologist in the house? [[Don't Explain the Joke|I guess they work well with fast-moving balls]]...whadda...who writes this?!"}}
 
 
== Web Comics ==
* Variation in ''[[Adventurers (Webcomic)|Adventurers]]'': Having found yet another legendary sword, Ardam wonders who writes all these legends about swords. Of course, right on cue, a scholarly-looking fellow carrying a big book walks up and says, "I do. Got a problem with that?"
* Even greater variation in ''[[LsL's Empire (Webcomic)|Ls Empire]]'' where one of the authors asks this question, only to answer themselves.
* ''[[Ansem Retort (Webcomic)|Ansem Retort]]'': Red XIII playing scrabble with [[The Ditz|Sora]].
{{quote| '''Red XIII:''' Okay, "quail" isn't spelt [[Dan Quayle|Q-U-A-Y-L-E]] and [[Never Live It Down|"potato" doesn't have an E in it]]... my God, a Scrabble joke that's 16 years out of date. Who writes these scripts?}}
* ''[[One Over Zero (Webcomic)|One Over Zero]]'' has [[No Fourth Wall]], so two lovers can directly address the writer when they realize he sucks at writing romantic conversations. Most of the rest of what they say to each other is off-panel.
* In ''[[Fans (Webcomic)|Fans]]'', when Rikk and Ally go on their first date with Rumy after agreeing to [[Tenchi Solution|a triad relationship]], [http://www.faans.com/books1-6/index.php?p=1679 Rikk and Rumy are still uncomfortably shy, only speaking in two-to-three word sentences,] until Ally asks, [[Take That|"What, George Lucas is writin' y'r dialogue now?"]]
* When ''[[Girl Genius (Webcomic)|Girl Genius]]'' took a break to do their take on ''Cinderella'', Gil and Tarvek complain to co-writer Phil Foglio over the fact that they've ''both'' been assigned the role of the prince. When Gil asks who thought having ''two'' boyfriends was a good idea, there's a pan to Agatha, Zeetha, and other co-writer Kaja Foglio with huge grins on their faces.
{{quote| '''Phil:''' Deal with it.}}
 
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{{quote| '''Linkara:''' I am...[[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?|the beekeeper!]]<br />
'''Spoony:''' Oh my God, I wrote that! }}
* In his Virus review, the [[Joueur Du Grenier]] (Basically [[The Angry Video Game Nerd (Web Video)|The Angry Video Game Nerd]]'s French equivalent) had this reaction after saying a cringe-inducingly lame pun about evil in a fake movie trailer for Virus 2.
* Newgrounds' Legend of Pokémon had this; when Gary sees the ship, he says, "Who the fuck wrote this shit?"
* In the Julian Smith sketch [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1FS504JnjM&ob=av3e Rerun], the characters are cartoons in a scene complaining about how dreary the show they're on is. It's multilayered [[Lampshade Hanging]].
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* ''[[Clerks the Animated Series]]'' did this in its sixth ([[Too Good to Last|and final]]) episode. Dante and Randall find a door marked "Writers' Room" and inside are what appear to be a bunch of morons whose next great idea is "Let's stick them on Gilligan's Island and make gay jokes about them."
** They got the idea from [[Take That|Seth]] [[Family Guy|MacFarlane]].
* This happens in ''[[Wakfu (Animation)|Wakfu]]'' during the Gobbowl story arc, when Yugo, Amalia and Eva are entering the match. The rather excitable sport announcer is handled sheets with their descriptions, finds them too bland and comments "Who wrote this? That's lame!" before going into wild improvisation.
* In an episode of ''[[King of the Hill]]'' Peggy fills in for Bobby in his ''Of Mice and Men'' play the line goes something like:
{{quote| '''Peggy:''' Lenny, don't drunk so much!<br />
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* ''[[Hey Arnold]]'' has one where Helga reads some of her Arnold-centered poetry to see whether an "out-of-love potion" she took has stopped her from being obsessed with him:
{{quote| '''Helga:''' "Oh, orzo-shaped Prometheus, wandering dim hallways of my..." What ''is'' this ''crap?!''}}
* Somewhat referred to in the ''[[Animaniacs (Animation)|Animaniacs]]'' theme song... "''The writers flipped, we have no script / why bother to rehearse?''"
** Sung while they show a bunch of drooling maniacs playing with paper and pencils, presumably the very ones who ''do'' Write This Crap.
** One of them is Shakespeare. Stereotypical clothing and everything.
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'''Crimson Chin:''' Any money in it?<br />
'''Timmy:''' ''([[Medium Awareness|indicates own speech bubble in previous panel]])'' [[This Is Sparta|Lives. With. His. Mom.]] }}
* ''[[Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy]]'': In "Brother, Can You Spare An Ed?", after Edd goes on a dramatic, guilt-ridden monologue about Eddy convincing Ed to buy jawbreakers with Sarah's money (instead of fudge, like she asked), Eddy responds with "Who writes this guy's stuff?"
* ''[[Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog]]'': As listed on the [[Who Writes This Crap?/Quotes|quote page]], Dr. Robotnik demands to imprison the cartoonist who made fun of him in his comic book.
* On ''[[Futurama (Animation)|Futurama]]'', we ''know'' Fry writes this crap. ("I am the greetest. Now I will leave Earth for no raisin!") But there's also this, as part of his opera that was crashed by the Robot Devil:
{{quote| '''Farnsworth:''' I can't believe the devil would be so unforgiving.<br />
'''Zoidberg:''' I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing. }}
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{{quote| '''Robot Devil''': This play is as lousy as it is brilliant! You can't just have your actors announce how they feel. [[Hypocritical Humor|That makes me feel angry!]]}}
* Probably the instance that started it all in animation is the 1937 [[Porky Pig]] cartoon "Porky's Duck Hunt," where Porky sends his dog to retrieve the duck he's ostensibly shot, but the duck throws the dog back on land. Porky takes out a notepad, studies it for a second, then exclaims "Hey! '''''That''''' wasn't in the script!"
* In ''[[Recess (Animation)|Recess]]'', King Bob reminisces about his days as the Prankster Prince. One of these pranks had this:
{{quote| '''Principal Prickly:''' ''(via P.A.)'' ...And don't forget to tell your parents that Principal Prickly is a big fat... HEY! Who wrote this in the morning announcements?! Mrs. Lemon!!!<br />
''The children started laughing in an uproar, while King Bob, then a fourth grader, smirks, hinting that he was the one who messed up Prickly's speech.'' }}
* Inverted in an episode of ''[[Muppet Babies]]'' - due to a transporter mishap, there are three versions of Kermit ([[Star Trek|Captain Kerkmit]], [[The Jetsons|Kerm Spaceton]], and [[Star Wars|Skyhopper]]) and one Piggy. When a fourth one, dressed as [[Indiana Jones]] appears...
{{quote| '''Piggy:''' I don't know who's writing this, but give them a big bonus!}}
* Invoked word for word in ''[[The Dating Guy]]'' by Sam in the ''[[Twenty Four24]]'' parody. She's then relabeled from "The Girl" to "The Bitch".
{{quote| '''Sam:''' Harsh, but fair.}}
* From the ''[[House of Mouse]]'' episode "House Of Scrooge"
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* In the ''[[Looney Tunes]]'' cartoon, Blooper Bunny, Daffy is seen doing a mini-rant while going over his script.
{{quote| '''Daffy''': Oh brother! 51st and a half anniversary... Who writes this slop?! Ech! "Happy birthday, old chum, old pal, old buddy." They next thing you know, [[Donald Duck|they'll stick me with three snot-nosed nephews!]] I wouldn't put it past them! It's just... ugh! Warner Brothers doesn't have an original bone in its...}}
* ''[[Taz -Mania]]'': Francis X. Bushlad gets an epic one in one episode, berating the writers for the [[All Just a Dream]] ending and pointing out the unfired [[Chekhov's Gun]] of the 16 ton weight that had been dangling over the characters' heads for most the episode. [[Tempting Fate|This proves unwise]].