You Can't Get Ye Flask: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}}
[[File:flask.jpg|link=Homestar Runner
{{quote|''"Dammit! So let's recap: there are four directions that I can move in and none of them work. What the fuck am I supposed to do?"''|'''[http://www.sydlexia.com/mysteryhouse.htm SydLexia]''', reviewing [
An annoying aspect of oldschool [[Text Parser]]-based [[Adventure Game
▲{{quote|''"Dammit! So let's recap: there are four directions that I can move in and none of them work. What the fuck am I supposed to do?"''|'''[http://www.sydlexia.com/mysteryhouse.htm SydLexia]''', reviewing [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_House Mystery House]}}
▲An annoying aspect of oldschool [[Text Parser]]-based [[Adventure Game|Adventure Games]], especially [[Interactive Fiction]], was a limited ability to recognize command inputs. Additionally, the error messages would frequently lack clarification as to what you were ''supposed'' to do, often making you want to [[Computer Equals Monitor|put your fist through the screen.]]
For example, let's say the command to look at a monster was "look monster". If you typed in "look at monster", the game might say something like "I don't know how to do that" or "I don't see an 'at' here". This got better over time, but never completely disappeared before command-line interfaces went out of style. Still, the text parser remained a staff favorite, as it allowed them to anticipate what the player might type in a given situation. Should the player's input be totally off-the-wall (such as 'pick nose'), [[The Dev Team Thinks of Everything|they would create a suitably off-the-wall response.]]
The name of this trope is a reference to ''[[
{{quote|
[[Interactive Fiction]] aficionados claim that this problem was rarely all that bad except in the earliest and worst examples of the genre, and they get really cheesed off that [[Never Live It Down|it's the one thing about the format that people still remember]]. Of course, the fact that it ''is'' the one thing they remember is telling... but then, the company most widely known for their [[Text Parser]] adventure games (Sierra, of ''[[King's Quest]]'' and ''[[Space Quest]]'' fame) is also the one with one of the worst parsers ever, that didn't improve much in the six years they used it before switching to a [[Point and Click Game|Point And Click]] mouse interface.
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Another option is to give a list of all the possible words. One small game, used to demonstrate features of the C programming language, listed its 6 verbs and 12 nouns in the help screen. Chris Crawford's ''Storytron'' engine has you choose each variable part of the sentence from a drop-down list, and then adds or replaces the next part of the sentence as appropriate.
Examples of games with actual ''good'' parsers include ''[[The Hobbit]]'', and anything by [[Infocom]] and Legend. Ironically, that includes some of the ''oldest'' adventure games; many of the newer ones tried to reinvent the parser wheel. The TADS (Text Adventure Development System) runtime is particularly good at such
Sometimes called "Guess The Verb" or "Guess The Syntax". The "ye" comes from [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe]]. The equivalent frustration in non-parser [[Point and Click]] games is the [[Pixel Hunt]]. Contrast [[The Dev Team Thinks of Everything]], if you are working with an exceptionally good text parser.
{{examples|Examples}}▼
== [[Adventure Game]] ==▼
== Video game examples ==
* ''[http://www.platypuscomix.net/applepalooza/deathmaze.html Deathmaze 5000]'', for the [[TRS 80]] and [[Apple II]], contained (among other things) a pit in the first level containing an item you needed to complete the game. Once you stepped on it you were stuck in one place, and your only clue was "To everything there is a season." In case you didn't pick up on the clue, it would shout "To everything, TURN TURN TURN" after a few minutes. Typing in "Turn" did nothing. Physically turning by hitting the move keys did nothing. None of the items you got on that level were "turnable". The only way to know what to do was if you bought the Deathmaze 5000 Hint Sheet from the software company in the early 80's (and whoever you are, you don't have it). ▼
▲=== [[Adventure Game]] ===
▲* ''[http://www.platypuscomix.net/applepalooza/deathmaze.html Deathmaze 5000]'', for the [[TRS
** The item in the pit was a calculator that displayed 317. If you cleaned it, it displayed 317.2. Typing "HELP" at this point gives the cryptic instructions "Invert & telephone." The player had to think of turning an old-fashioned square-digit calculator display of 317.2 upside-down, which would resemble "2LIE", and then look at the buttons or dial on a telephone to turn this into "2543". This leads to the actual solution, [http://www.swobi.at/asylum/dm_hints.html shown on the hint sheet:] turn right 2 times, then left five times, then right four times, then left three times.
** At one point in the game, you have to ''fart''. Yeah. You just type "fart." There are no hints that this would do anything useful, naturally. (Although if you'd experimented with typing "fart" earlier, you'd have been rewarded with being propelled down the hallway on a jet of your own exhaust.)
* 8-bit adventure ''Heroes of Karn'' required you to extinguish some smouldering ashes with the water you were carrying. None of PUT WATER ON, DROP WATER ON, POUR WATER ON, USE WATER WITH, QUENCH, DOUSE, EXTINGUISH, COOL, DAMPEN, MOISTEN, SOAK, DRENCH, FLOOD, WET or IMMERSE ASHES would work. Figuring out you had to "WATER ASHES" was by far the hardest part of that game.
* Parodied in ''[[
{{quote|
Please say "undo bolt". }}
* In many adventure games, the player was safe with the generic verb "[[Use Item]]" applied to any object or situation. Some games, however, would not make that leap. Especially frustrating when you're given an item and you're not sure what it is and ''how'' you're supposed to use it, such as being given a crank in ''[[Laura Bow]] 1'' which you're not sure what to do with. "How do you want to use the crank, Laura?" ''Aaaaarrrrgghhhh!!!''
* As pointed out by Syd Lexia, in the very first [[Sierra]] game, ''Mystery House'', the game will accept PRESS BUTTON, but not PUSH BUTTON.
* ''[[Homestar Runner
* Pretty much the entire point of ''[[Pick Up the Phone Booth
* [[Sierra]], creator of ''[[King's Quest]]'' and ''[[Space Quest]]'', never got beyond "<verb> <noun>" phrases in almost a decade of parser design. Their most infamous example, however, is the end of ''[[
** This one isn't actually Al Lowe's (creator/programmer) fault. There was an unrelated bug that needed fixing, so Lowe, pressed for time, had someone else fix it. He assured him everything was fine, and the code seemed to check out. The only problem? The programmer changed "bag" from a noun to a verb. Lowe never noticed, as the policy for testing was to use the longest sentence possible, which bypassed the error. More info can be found on [http://www.allowe.com/Larry/cluescheats.htm#Larry2 Lowe's site.]
** In ''[[King's Quest]]'', most locked doors can be unlocked by a variety of phrases, such as "open door with key", "put key in key hole", "use key to open door", etc. Except for the magical door in ''[[King's Quest II]]'', which only accepted "unlock door".
** As part of its copy protection, ''[[King's Quest III]]'' included several spells the player needed to cast. Rather than an easily-copied phrase, each spell consisted of several steps requiring advance preparation. Unfortunately, several of those steps required a specific verb or the entire process would fail.
** In the first ''[[Space Quest]]'' game you have to INSERT the keycard. No synonymous or rephrasing of that unusual and unnecessarily technical term will be accepted.
** Parodied in ''[[Quest for Glory 2]]'' with the lamp, where if you type "put down lamp" your character starts insulting the lamp. However, he does still do the same thing he would have done if you'd typed "[[Use Item|use lamp]]".
** ''[[Quest for Glory I]]'' allowed one to type "Pick Nose" (mentioned in the description), which would allow a thief to train his lock picking skills (and get a message saying "Success! Your nose is now opened!). Having too low a skill would cause one to [[The Many Deaths of You|jam the lockpick up one's nose into their brain and die]]. The really funny bit is that later games (and remakes) kept this [[Easter Egg]] (sans the dying part) even when the series abandoned the text parser. The game would then play the "door unlocking" sound, and simply display "success", meaning that players who had not played the original and clicked on themselves with the lockpicks by accident were rather confused as to what just happened.
* Among the many frustrating puzzles in ''[[Starship Titanic]]'' is obtaining one of Titania's (the ship's AI) broken eyes. It's one of four similar-looking globes (the others are lightbulbs). You can't just reach out and grab it, even though you can poke it and the game will tell you what it is. You have to summon the Bellbot, hold your cursor over the correct one and type: "Get the broken eye". "Get the eye", "Hand me the eye", "Give me Titania's eye", or "Give the eye to me" will not work. Worse, "Get the broken bulb" also works.
* On a game based on the Spanish comic books "[[Zipi
* While ''[[Onna no Ko to Misshitsu ni Itara ○○shichau Kamoshirenai]]'' recognizes a very diverse array of irrelevant words that serve no purpose but to sexually harass the heroines the incorporeal protagonist is helping, all with unique responses ''per level'' (sometimes even having different responses within that level) <ref>Among them むね (breasts), スカート (skirt), パンツ (underwear), ケツ (ass), もも (thighs) and こいびと ((do you have a) boyfriend/lover).</ref>, several progression critical entries are oddly specific. For example to tell the heroine to grab an American Football, one ''must'' type ラグビーボール (Rugby Ball), even though no other balls are present in this level, the game recognizes ball on its own in every other level, and the game is fully capable of handling synonyms. Likewise setting a clock to 9 ''must'' use "9じ" (9 o clock), even though number only prompts are widely used for number locks.
=== [[Interactive Fiction]] ===
* Scott Adams' 1978 ''Adventureland'' required the player to enter the unintuitive UNLIGHT LAMP in order to prevent a lamp from using up its fuel, and would not recognise the verb EXTINGUISH (and certainly not the phrases PUT OUT or TURN OFF).
* [[
{{quote|
{{smallcaps|>go east}}
{{smallcaps|OK. What shall I do now?}}
{{smallcaps|>go east again}}
{{smallcaps|Use 1 or 2 words only!}}
"Oh, okay, I'll give you two words!"
{{smallcaps|>fuck you}}
** The game ''Asylum'' knew those words... use them once and you get a warning, use them again and it boots you from the game!
*** And this was after he sooner found a way to eat his pillow than he did find a way out of the room he was in.
* ''Bureaucracy'' uses this as a game mechanic: you get penalized for inputting an incorrect command, by an increase in "blood pressure". If blood pressure becomes dangerously high, your character dies.
* The otherwise excellent ''Curses'' by Graham Nelson had a section where you had to cram a voice-operated robot mouse into a mouse hole and then give it instructions - only the standard commanding language explained in the instructions ("mouse, go north") didn't work. Trying every verb on every object randomly might bring you to the correct solution: you have to address the hole, not the mouse ("hole, go north"). It also freaked out completely if you just gave it the following simple command:
{{quote|
{{smallcaps|(with yourself)}}
* The ''[[Fahrenheit 451]]'' text adventure was a nasty example. [[The Many Deaths of You|You could be killed for something as simple as crossing the street at the wrong times of day]], [[Luck
* Satirized in ''Guess the Verb'', an IF game containing several scenarios, each revolving around an uncommon verb.
* In the ''[[The
** If you never input a senseless command, the game will eventually take a certain correct command (I forget what it is, but it's one you need to complete the game) and use that as the deadly insult. You get kudos for timing it right and saying the actual quote ({{spoiler|"I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle"}}).
** One PC magazine described this kind of thing as "toying with various ways of saying PUT BABEL FISH UP ZAPHOD'S JACKSIE".
** Also in ''[[The
* The ''[[The Spellcasting Series|Spellcasting 101]]'' series was both an example of and aversion of this trope. On the one hand, you had to use specific verbs for many situations , but all of the verbs in the game (as well as your entire inventory) is displayed in a menu on the left side of the screen, allowing the entire game to be played with the mouse. (Picking up items required clicking on a picture field.)
* Infocom's SHOGUN, based on the novel by [[James Clavell]], involves the protagonist in trying to communicate with the Japanese by searching for a common language. However, one can not actually input lines in any of the foreign languages he knows... and trying to type anything like "Say 'where am I' in Spanish" crashed the parser.
* ''[[
{{quote|
"Hello, grue."
It is a known fact that only schizophrenics talk to grues.'' }}
{{quote|
Autocannibalism is not the answer.'' }}
{{quote|
I doubt the grue lurking in the dark would agree with you.'' }}
{{quote|
Very good. Now you can go to the second grade.'' }}
** All things considered, the [[
* The foulest, evilest, most likely-to-drive-the-player-mad game was by far Murder in the Museum found on the ''[[Big Blue Disk]]''. It deliberately invoked this trope and required players to guess the NOUNS. What was described as "a leg bone" could only be obtained by typing "Get FEMUR", a "small gun" was "DERRINGER" and on, and on. There were no hints as to what you were actually supposed to call an object to pick it up, The text parser was more pedantic than sierra's, and if you weren't fast with the pencil the game would actually delete the text of the piece of dissolving spy paper from the screen, thereby causing you to lose a critical and random code which would make the game unwinnable. Not that it was possible to figure out what was in the space probe and thereby even progress with the game.
* The original 'ADVENT', also known as ''[[Colossal Cave]]'', had something that looked like a snappy comeback, but was actually a question to answer:
{{quote|
What? With your bare hands? }}
** To kill the dragon, you actually have to answer that question with "yes".
{{quote|
* The [[Edutainment Game]] ''Voices of Spoon River'' several times explicitly tells the player to "place" something on something else... but the verb "place" isn't implemented. It's not too hard to figure out that you have to "put" instead, but it's still weird.
* ''Ad Verbum'' makes an art of
* "The Six Foot Tall Man Eating Chicken" has a pretty big one. There is a cork. There is a bucket with a hole in it. Putting the two together? Plug doesn't work. Use doesn't work... {{spoiler|Solution is PUT. Which is never mentioned}}
* ''[[The Very Big Cave Adventure]]'' responds to any use of "take" or "put" with "Try 'get' or 'drop'". Which is fine, until you want to stop carrying the bomb...
** One of its stock responses when it can't parse a command is "Sorry, this thick computer doesn't understand that."
=== [[Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game|MMORPG]]s ===
* Parodied in the screenshots of [
* ''[[
** Somewhat related to this trope: you needed to activate the chat text field to talk to NPCs, otherwise, pressing letters on the keyboard would result in activating hotkeys for game commands. Standard fare, sure, but then you take into account that the default key for "Attack" was 'a' and it was possible to attack friendly NPCs. Forgetting to press Enter before typing could be lethal as you'd get three letters into "What" before the NPC flattened you for what seemed like no reason.
* In one storyline mission in ''[[Forum Warz]]'' you have to complete a text adventure game and tell the character who gave you the mission how you did it. In the mission ending conversation, you tell him you have to enter the command "push button", not "press button"... but while playing the text adventure itself, you can complete that section with the command "use button".
* There is a part in ''[[Kingdom of Loathing]]'' known as the Leaflet Quest that is a [[Shout
** An incorrect "throw" command yields: "Your request to throw something, presumably at something else, made no sense to me. Perhaps you're trying to throw an item you don't have, or throw an item at a target that doesn't exist, or perhaps those objects simply aren't intended to interact in that way. For more information on the proper throwing of objects, send your name and address to "Throwing: A Guide For Beginners", Pueblo, Colorado, 80019."
** Trying to go up when you can't yields: "Up? Isn't this maze annoying enough for you with just the four directions? I suppose next you'll want to go north-by-north-east."
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*** Again, probably less a case of technical pedantry and more a case of programming difficulty ("use" could, theoretically, be a synonym for almost ''every other verb'' in the game; making it such would mean there's little point in even bothering with verbs at all).
=== [[Survival Horror]] ===
* ''[[
=== Film ===
* [[Phelous]] points out that the website in
===
* In the novel ''[[God Game (novel)|God Game]]'' by [[Andrew Greeley]], the natural language parser for the game interface that the narrator uses to do anything more than speak directly to the characters in the game is amazingly sophisticated for 1986 -- but is still prone to this trope at the most frustrating moments. (And sometimes it seems to do it [[It Amused Me|just to annoy the narrator]].)
▲* [[Phelous]] points out that the website in Fear Dot Com seems to run on this sort of interface.
=== [[Web Animation]] ===
* ''[[
=== [[Web Comics]] ===
* This (along with other early [[Adventure Game]] tropes, especially their tendency to be [[Nintendo Hard]]) is played with in ''[[
{{quote|
* At one point the cast of the webcomic ''[[Okashina Okashi]]'' gets trapped in an alternate dimension based on these games. It was a dark void where the girls had to shout out commands based on the old text adventure games. Bad parsing jokes abounded, shouting "WHY can't I get ye flask!" and crying.
* Taken [[Up to Eleven]] with ''[[Problem Sleuth]]''.
** [[
** However, you can get ye flask. In a published edition, [[Word of God]] says that he didn't know the reference at the time.
* [http://www.thenoobcomic.com/index.php?pos=199 This] page of [[The Noob]].
=== [[Web Original]] ===
* ''[[Cracked.com]]'' has "[http://www.cracked.com/blog/revisiting-old-school-text-adventures-as-a-jaded-modern-gamer/ Revisiting Old School Text Adventures as a Jaded Modern Gamer.]" It has the AI reacting with shocked horror to the insane player's sadistic commands, and eventually feeds him to a swarm of [[Naughty Tentacles]] monsters out of spite.
* ''[[
=== [[Real Life]] ===
* There's a slight variation for anybody programming in Inform 7. Much of the syntax is intuitive, but one can't intuit what won't be intuitive. The result is less [[Guess the Verb]] and more "Guess the punctuation and sentence structure. ''Exactly''."
** Well, making ''creating'' adventure games more like ''playing'' adventure games ''was'' one of the stated goals...though on the upside, it still arguably has a shallower learning curve than TADS.
** This is alleviated by the fact that, unlike games, Inform 7 is a programming language and most programming languages expect programmers to get syntax exactly right. Inform 7 also comes with documentation, and in spite of being complicated it can do fairly amazing things with its natural language commands.
* ''[
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Fake Difficulty]]
[[Category:Older Than the NES]]
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