You Can't Miss It: Difference between revisions

'''Glenn:''' Yeah, it's on its way to the Moon. }}

** Later, they realise that this is the correct answer: if the spaceship was on its way to the Moon, with only a few thousand miles to go, it would be within a few degrees of the Moon in the sky.

* In ''[[Funny Farm]]'', the movers get lost trying to find the main characters' new house. A local gives them directions that only a local would understand, including instructions to turn where landmarks ''used'' to be. They arrive a day late and pissed off.

* ''[[The Goon Show|The Case Of The Mukkinese Battle Horn]]'' opens with a thick London fog. But the narrator cheerfully points out that even in the thickest of fogs, there are some landmarks you just can't miss. Like Nelson's column, for example. ''*sound of car crashing*'' "You see? There's someone not missing it now!"

== Literature ==

 

{{quote| You go back down that road for half a mile, then first left, it's in a deplorable state of disrepair I'm afraid, I've written numerous letters to the council about it, are you ''civil servants'' or ''civil masters'', that's what I asked them, after all, who pays your wages? then second right, only it's not exactly right, it's on the left but you'll find it bends round toward the right eventually, it's signposted Porrit's Lane, but of course it isn't Porrit's Lane, you look at the ordinance survey map, you'll see, it's simply the eastern end of Forest Hill Lane, you'll come out in the village, now you go past the Bull and Fiddle -- that's a public house -- then when you get to the church (I have pointed out to the people who compile the ordinance survey map that it's a church with a spire, not a church with a ''tower'', indeed I have written to the Tadfield ''Advertiser'', suggesting they mount a local campaign to get the map corrected, and I have every hope that once these people realize with whom they are dealing you'll see a hasty U-turn from them) then you'll get to a crossroads, now, you go straight across that crossroads and you'll immediately come to a second crossroads, now, you can take either the left-hand fork or go straight on, either way you'll arrive at the air base (although the left-hand fork is almost a tenth of a mile shorter) and you can't miss it.}}

* ''The [[Discworld]] Mapp'' explains that navigating by asking people where you are never works. Either the person isn't from around here, despite the fact they are walking a dog, or they know where they are in such detail that they can't pass this information on in any useful form:

{{quote| "turn where you get to where the boot factory used to be, no, tell you what, it'll save you some time, go along where the viaduct was, you can't miss it, then turn right only it's really straight ahead, and kind of jiggle past the main road and ... no, I tell a lie, what you do is, you go back down here until you get to where you can see the old hospital was, only you can't no more 'cos they've taken the sign away, and..."}}

* In [[The Hollows]] novel ''A Fistful of Charms'', Rachel is in a small town and is given directions to the local magic store that includes such useful landmarks as "the church that burned down two years ago".

* Erma Bombeck once wrote a joke about asking a gas station attendant directions on how to get to a baseball field. The guy starts into the complicated turn left turn right you've gone too far, only to have her say that they're already at the last landmark. The guy says that's cause she's here already, the baseball field is behind the station. What a wisenheimer.

* Subverted on ''[[Little Britain]]'':

{{quote| '''Ray McCooney:''' Oh, we're easy to find. When you see the hanging tree, take a left. When you come to the old well, take a right. If ye pass the scarecrow, YE'VE COME TO FAR!... Yeah that's right, opposite IKEA.}}

{{quote| '''The Doctor:''' There's a wardrobe through there. First left, second right, third on the left, go straight ahead, under the stairs, past the bins, it's the fifth door on your left. Hurry up!}}

** Also happens in the Doctor Who Adventure Game TARDIS, when the Doctor tries to direct Amy to the Drawing Room. Supposedly, it's 'half a mile down the corridor, left, then right, then right again, then the third right, past a weird swirly thing, left, then the other left, through the sun room, past a green door, right, along a wall until it becomes slimey, down a lift to the third floor and straight ahead.'

{{quote| '''Daniel''': Where's Teal'c?<br />

''Blank stares''<br />

* A set of instructions for getting from the Hekawi Indian camp to Fort Courage on ''[[F Troop]]'' once included (approximately): "Turn left at the big rock that looks like a bear. Then turn right at the big bear that looks like a rock."

* In ''[[How I Met Your Mother]]'', Lilly gets annoyed that Barney can't get the twenty or so steps to make some oragami figures.

 

 

== Music ==

 

* Psychostick's song "Girl Directions" is all about this, with the chorus providing the guy's reaction:

{{quote| Gimme the fuckin' address!<br />

* Never try to navigate Oakland, CA at street level using a GPS device.

* In extremely rural areas, directions tend to use things like barns, silos and unusual trees as markers. This is more a matter of necessity than any desire to be mean on the part of the direction-giver -- there simply aren't that many other landmarks that can be used and roads are often poorly marked.

 

== Video Games ==