You Need to Get Laid: Difference between revisions

 

== [[Comic Books]] ==

* [http://www.elfquest.com/gallery/OnlineComics/SABM/SABM01/DisplaySABM01.html?page=5 This page] in the ''[[Elf Quest]]'' series: And really. Rayek does need to get laid. Badly. With a non-evil woman.

{{quote|Watchdog group MY ASS! Who do these self appointed little fucks think they are, anyhow? Goddamn bullshit artists with too much time on their hands goin' lookin' for trouble where there ain't none to begin with! I mean Jesus Christ, that's how P. fuckin' C. got started! Political correctness! "Yeah, we're a buncha east coast liberal assholes an' we are just SO concerned--except we ain't got the balls to take on any real problems so we're gonna invent some our own so's we can feel like we're doin' somethin'! We're gonna save the world by makin' sure no one ever says FAGGOT! I tell you Skeeter, that's the problem with this country today. We're better off'n anyone else in the damn world but we still ain't satisfied. We can't just be happy with who are an' what we got. You know who it reminds me of is. These BODY-PIERCIN' MOTHER FUCKERS. I mean what the hell're you trynna tell me, you need a fuckin' iron ring in your race or your tits or your ass to feel fulfilled or some shit like that? You ain't a INDIVIDUAL 'til you got a big iron bar shot through the enda your pecker? You need that shit to be sure of who you are? Jesus fuckin' Christ, if there's one goddamn thing I am CERTAIN of when I wake up in the mornin' IT'S WHO THE FUCK I AM! [beat] '''I really gotta get laid.'''}}

* Ninjette once told this to [[Empowered]].

{{quote|'''Aquaman:''' You mean, all this time, THIS was all I needed..?

'''Dolphin:''' If you're like any other man, yes. }}

* Clark's editor says this in ''[[Superman: Secret Identity]]'', when suggesting his pieces might be less analytical and detached if he lived a little more.

 

 

== Fanfiction ==

* Shows up a lot in ''[[The History Boys]]'' fanfic: Scripps is celibate, and Dakin is always trying to get him to either get laid or even just have a wank.

* In ''[[Kyon: Big Damn Hero]]'', [[Higurashi no Naku Koro ni|Shion commented Keiichi]] that if his sister ({{spoiler|Kyon's mother}}) went to a hotel once or twice a week she would be much happier.

** Celestia went the extra mile in the ''Progress'' side-story. She tells Luna this, and then gathers four of her guards to assist her (which Luna turned down). Oddly, it wasn't because of Luna being uptight, but because of her being ''naive'' (in Celestia's defense, Luna had just stated that she thought "Abacus" would be a good name for a foal).

* In ''[[Hogyoku Ex Machina]]'', [[Bleach|Ichigo]] gets told this word-for-word by his [[Super-Powered Evil Side|hollow self]] since he's severely weakening himself in order to not be a [[Poisonous Person]] (it came with his [[Physical God]] status) and he's a [[Chick Magnet]] anyway, so why waste it? [[Chaste Hero|Ichigo's so embarrassed and adverse to the idea]] that the hollow turns to [[Empathic Weapon|Zangetsu]] and asks, "He's not gay, right? I'd know if he was gay."

* In ''[[Hunting the Unicorn]]'', the Warblers constantly ridicule how [[Tastes Like Diabetes|sugary]] and [[But Not Too Gay|chaste]] Blaine is with Kurt, but in the twelfth chapter, the trope gets [[Inverted Trope|inverted]] ''[[Deconstruction|in the worst way possible]].'' {{spoiler|Blaine did, in fact, get laid--when he was sixteen, and was implied to have thought [[Sex Equals Love]] while the other guy... didn't.}} Blaine's older brother did ''not'' [[Beware the Nice Ones|take]] [[Big Brother Instinct|it]] [[Berserk Button|well]]. In short, {{spoiler|getting laid ''is'' why Blaine's so uptight}}.

 

 

** And then there's ''A Civil Campaign''. The entire main cast ''know'' that they all need to get laid, but knowing that doesn't help matters one bit. Plus, apparently having your staff want your sex life to improve for their sake is hereditary to Vorkosigans: Kareen imagines a similar line about the Old Man's son, "For God's sake, can't somebody please get the little git laid, before he drives us all as crazy as he is?" And then there's "''What'' sex? There hasn't ''been'' any sex. Dammit. Or this would all seem a great deal more worthwhile. I haven't gotten to ''kiss'' the woman yet!"

* In ''[[Gentleman Bastard Sequence|The Lies Of Locke Lamora]]'' by Scott Lynch, the titular character is hopelessly in love with a woman who's a thousand miles away (and may or may not reciprocate), who he'd rather be miserable over than happy with anybody else—and that's a quote. Early on, two of his friends (read [[True Companions|"adoptive family"]]) tell him that he should just go to a brothel before he drives himself crazy. They almost come to blows over it.

* One of the media tie-ins for the TV series ''[[Twin Peaks]]'' was a book collecting excerpts from Agent Dale Cooper's life-long diary entries. At one point while in college, a friend tells the tightly-wound Cooper that he "needs to get laid in the worst way." The friend then goes on a date that ends with him in the hospital in a full-body cast. Cooper then comments in his diary this must be the worst way to get laid.

* ''[[Pride and Prejudice]]'': Mr. Collins cannot emphasize enough to the Bennets the urgency with which Lady Catherine insisted he get married...

** Of course, the fact that a doctor capable of creating a being from spare parts could create a mate ''incapable'' of reproducing probably never crossed Mary Shelley's mind. Of course, given that this was written in the middle of the nineteenth century by a young woman, this is to be expected.

** In the [[Sequel Series]] by [[Dean Koontz]], the New Race (essentially version 2 or 3.0 that followed on from the monster) ''can'' get laid, but that's ''all'' they can do. They cannot feel intimacy (by design). It works about as well as you'd think.

* ''[[The Epic of Gilgamesh]]'': Really, that's Enkidu's whole problem. All alone in the woods all his life, no ''wonder'' he's cranky. Six days later, problem solved!

* At the beginning of ''[[Dragaera|Yendi]]'', [[Snarky Non-Human Sidekick|Loiosh]] says this to Vlad, which is very confusing to people who read the series in publication order since Vlad was happily married in ''Jhereg'', and is a big hint that ''Yendi'' [[Anachronic Order|takes place before]] ''Jhereg''.

** Really, Edward? ''Really''?

* [[A Song of Ice and Fire|Tyrion Lannister]] has this opinion of his nephew [[Royally Screwed-Up|King]] [[Jerkass|Joffrey]]. At one point, he actually discusses options with his advisor to get Joffrey out of the eyes of his bodyguard so they can take him to a brothel (whether or not he's serious is anyone's guess).

* In a bit of [[Unfortunate Implications]] in ''[[The Hollow Man]]'' by [[John Dickson Carr]], Dr Gideon Fell recalls a time he was chairing a debate on women's rights:

{{quote|"... You were on the side for Women's Rights, Miss Grimaud, and against the Tyranny of Man. Yes, yes. You entered very pale and serious and solemn, and stayed like that until your own side began to present their case. They went on something awful, but [[Don't Shoot the Message|you didn't look pleased]]. Then [[Straw Feminist|one lean female]] carried on for twenty minutes about what woman needed for an ideal state of existence, but you only seemed to get madder and madder. So when your turn came, all you did was rise to proclaim in silvery ringing tones that what woman needed for an ideal existence was less talking and more copulation. Or perhaps you didn't say copulation."}}

** Later in the book, Carr's assistant suggests that she should have taken her own advice.

* ''[[Curse of the Wolfgirl]]'' gives us this wonderful soundbite between Malveria and Thrix:

{{quote|"Your body cries out for sex"

'''Angel:''' (smirking) "Well, it was [[Getting Crap Past the Radar|sort of the other way around]]." }}

** Sex isn't exactly a problem with Angel. It's just that he [[Can't Have Sex Ever|can't get groiny with Buffy]], the only woman with whom he can really have "a moment of perfect happiness," [[Curse Escape Clause|without unleashing]] [[Complete Monster|Angelus]] [[Curse Escape Clause|upon the world]].

{{quote|'''Buffy''': You never got a single date in high school, did you?

'''Snyder''': Your point being? }}

* ''[[Doctor Who]]'', "The Eleventh Hour": The Doctor to Amy's friend Jeff when he borrowed Jeff's laptop and opened it.

{{quote|"Blimey! Get a girlfriend, Jeff!" and later, "Delete your Internet history."}}

* In an episode of ''[[JAG]]'' Commander Rabb tells Commander Turner that the sooner Turner gets with somebody, the sooner he'll lighten up.

* Used indirectly in ''[[The Closer]]''; a US army major, after dealing with Brenda, remarks that she needs to get laid. While in her murder room, to her ''husband''. He naturally replies that that's not what's wrong with her.

 

== [[Theater]] ==

* Toward the end of ''[[Much Ado About Nothing]]'', Benedick, after finally surrendering to marriage to Beatrice, turns to Don Pedro(who had engineered the matchmaking between the two) and quips, "Prince, thou art sad; get thee a wife, get thee a wife."

* In ''[[One Touch of Venus]]'', when Molly spots Savory sulking, she advises him: "A girl on the couch is worth two on the mind!"

 

== [[Web Comics]] ==

* The ''[[The Order of the Stick]]'' quote is spoken to Miko Miyazaki, after she takes her [[Knight Templar]]-ness to [[Lawful Stupid]] levels.

** This seems to be the fan consensus on Redcloak, the [[Big Bad]]'s [[The Dragon|Dragon]].

{{quote|"Daddy, we think you need a new mommy."}}

* ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]'': Katara tells Sokka that he "wouldn't be so bossy if [he] kissed a girl."

 

{{reflist}}