"The Reason You Suck" Speech/Film: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}}
Examples of [[{{TOPLEVELPAGE}}]]es in [[{{SUBPAGENAME}}]] include:
== Action ==
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* The matchmaker gives one to ''[[Mulan]]'' in one scene.
{{quote|"You are a disgrace! You may look like a bride, but you will NEVER bring your family honor!"}}
* While it doesn't appear in the final version of ''[[The Lion King|The Lion King]]'', an alternate ending has Simba telling Scar this during their final battle.
{{quote|"You think that because you killed my father, you're ''better'' than him? You're pathetic. You're weak. And above all, Scar, you're nothing but a ''coward''!}}
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'''Damian:''' Oh, no, she did not!<br />
'''Janis:''' See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, Aaron Samuels, for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize. }}
* Randal delivers a great one at the end of ''[[Clerks]]'', aimed straight at Dante, who's spent most of the day [[Wangst
{{quote|"Oh, [[Precision F-Strike|fuck you! Fuck you]], pal! Jesus, there you go [[Never My Fault|trying to pass the buck]]. I'm the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to win back his ex girlfriend without even discussing how he felt with his present one? You wanna blame somebody? Blame yourself. "I'm not even supposed to be here today." You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you overcompensate for having what's basically a monkey's job. You push fucking buttons. Anybody can waltz in here and do our jobs. You--You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante! And badly, I might add! I work in a shitty video store, badly as well. You know, [[Dumbass Has a Point|that guy Jay's got it right]], man. He has no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the [[Surrounded by Idiots|people that come in here to buy a paper, or, god forbid, cigarettes]]. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, [[Logic Bomb|if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here]]?"}}
* Though it's only a few lines long, Dark Helmet delivers one of the most famous examples in ''[[Spaceballs]]'' after tricking the hero into {{spoiler|losing his "schwartz ring" just by offering a handshake...}}
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{{quote|You know what your problem is? Huh? You're so goddamn bored, you gotta invent things to bitch about. You haven't got a single thing to do except for your hair. Yeah! The closet was fine! You just needed somethin' to take up your useless, empty, nail-polishing, toe-polishing, [[Rich Bitch|rich-bitch]], sun tanning days!}}
** Somehow [[Rule of Awesome|broadcast all over the ship on a live mike]], and the whole crew cheers Dean on.
* ''[[Joe Versus the Volcano]]''. [[Every Man]] Joe Banks lets his ex-boss have it in a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]].
{{quote|'''Joe:''' You look terrible, Mr. Waturi. You look like a bag of shit stuffed in a cheap suit. Not that anyone could look good under these zombie lights. I, I, I, I can feel them sucking the juice out of my eyeball. Suck, suck, suck, SUCK... ''(makes a sucking noise)'' For 300 bucks a week, that's the news. For 300 bucks a week, I've lived in this sink, this used rubber.
'''Mr. Waturi:''' You watch it, mister! There's a woman here!
'''Joe:''' Don't you think I know that, Frank? Don't you think I am aware there is a woman here? I can smell her, like, like a flower. I can taste her, like sugar on my tongue. When I'm 20 feet away I can hear the fabric of her dress when she moves in her chair. Not that I've done anything about it. I've gone all day, every day, not doing, not saying, not taking the chance for 300 bucks a week, and Frank, the coffee stinks, it's like arsenic. The lights give me a headache. If the lights don't give you a headache, you must be dead; let's arrange the funeral.
'''Mr. Waturi:''' You better get outta here right now! I'm telling you!
'''Joe:''' You're telling me nothing. And why, I ask myself, why have I put up with you? I can't imagine, but now I know. Fear. Yellow freakin' fear. I've been too chicken shit afraid to live my life so I sold it to you for 300 freakin' dollars a week! You're lucky I don't kill you! You're lucky I don't rip your freakin' throat out! But I'm not going to! And maybe you're not so lucky at that. [[Fate Worse Than Death|'Cause I'm gonna leave you here, Mr. Wahoo Waturi, and what could be worse than that?]] }}
* The aliens (or possibly indigenous creatures of the deep) from the movie ''[[The Abyss]]'' give this to the protagonist in a sort of slide show format, depicting all the famous atrocities of human history. Although if memory serves, they might have done this to demonstrate why they were afraid of humanity and choosing to stay in the deep ocean, rather than illustrating why humans deserved to die. Either way, they weren't actively trying to wipe out humanity or even the protagonist, but it was made painfully clear that and why they think [[Humans Are the Real Monsters]].
** That's in the theatrical cut. The director's cut puts back the giant tidal waves sequence and shows that yes, the aliens were willing and able to wipe out humanity if we didn't straighten up and fly right.
*** Able to, sure, but willing is left unknown. The director's cut doesn't specify if the protagonist's effort made the aliens suddenly change their minds, the tidal waves are just as likely a simple demonstration of what they could do if they so wished. It's even possible they are not threatened by current human technology at all adding to The Reason You Suck.
* Taylor gives this brief one to Daniel in the first twenty minutes of ''[[He Died with a Felafel in His Hand]]'':
{{quote|'''Taylor''': Lets get some things straight, you're twenty-something years old, you've no money, no job, very few prospects, you have not been seen in the vicinity of anything that faintly resembles the opposite sex, and yet you sit here and tell us that you have something that makes the other side go 'ga ga', well if it makes them go so fucking ga ga then what the fuck are you doing here with us losers?}}
** Then later on we get this gem:
{{quote|'''Sammie''': One day Dani, you're going to wake up old and gray, in a house full of dumb kids, living off of fish fingers, bucket bongs and social security, and it's going to hit you, like a fist, right in the middle of your stupid looking face, and you're going to wander what happened to your life.}}
* ''[[Burn After Reading]]'' has them in spades ("If you ever carried out your proposed threat, you would experience such a shitstorm of consequences, my friend, your empty little head would be spinning faster than the wheels of your Schwinn bicycle back there") but the crowning moment is a beautiful speech at the height of the final act from the delightful Osbourne Cox:
{{quote|'''Osbourne''': Oh yes, I know very well what you represent. You represent the idiocy of today. Yeah, you're the guy at the gym when I asked about that moronic woman. Oh yes, you see, you're one of the morons I've been fighting my whole life. My whole fucking life. But guess what... Today, I win.}}
* The recurring line from ''[[A Knight's Tale]]'', "You have been weighed. You have been measured. And you have been found....wanting."
* In ''[[Planes, Trains and Automobiles]]'', Neil Page delivers a particularly scathing speech to Del Griffith during their first night together:
{{quote|'''Neil:''' You know, everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle! Your stories have ''NONE'' of that. They're not even amusing ''ACCIDENTALLY''! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecdotes for you. Oh and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it." I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They'd say, "How can you stand it?" I'd say, "'Cause I've been with Del Griffith. I can take ''ANYTHING''." You know what they'd say? They'd say, "[[Even Evil Has Standards|I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy. Woah.]]" It's like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back - you would. Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! And by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea - have a ''POINT''. It makes it ''SO'' much more interesting for the listener!}}
** However, Del goes on to deliver a very [[Planes, Trains and Automobiles/Heartwarming|heartfelt]] [[I Am What I Am|rebuttal]].
* In ''[[A Fish Called Wanda]]'', Otto says "[[Catch Phrase|Don't call me stupid!]]" at every opportunity. Finally, his girlfriend Wanda has had enough:
{{quote|'''Wanda:'''I was dealing with something delicate, Otto. I'm setting up a guy who's incredibly important to us, who's going to tell me where the loot is and if they're going to come and arrest you. And you come loping in like Rambo without a jockstrap and you dangle him out a fifth-floor window. Now, was that smart? Was it shrewd? Was it good tactics? Or was it stupid?
'''Otto:''' Don't call me stupid.
'''Wanda''': Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
'''Otto:''' Apes don't read philosophy.
'''Wanda:''' Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up. }}
* ''[[In Bruges]]'' provides a great example of this when Ralph Fiennes' Harry meets Eirik, the character that attempted to mug Colin Farrell earlier in the film:
{{quote|'''Eirik''': I was trying to rob him. And he took my gun from me. And the gun was full of blanks. And he shot a blank into my eye. And now I cannot see from this eye ever again, the doctors say.
'''Harry''': Well to be honest it sounds like it's all your fault.
'''Eirik''': What?
'''Harry''': I mean basically if you're robbing a man and you're only carrying blanks and you allow your gun to be taken off you and you allow yourself to be shot in the eye with a blank which I assume that the person has to get quite close to you then, yeah really it's all your fault for being such a poof, so why don't you stop wingeing and cheer the fuck up.
'''Yuri''': Eirek - I really wouldn't respond.
'''Eirik''': I thought you wanted the guy dead?
'''Harry''': I do want the guy dead, I want him fucking crucified but it don't change the fact that he stitched you up like a blind little gay boy, does it?}}
== Comedy-Dramas ==
* Andy in ''[[The Devil Wears Prada (film)|The Devil Wears Prada]]'' gets these [[The Devil Wears Prada (film)/Quotes|back to back to back]]. Early in the movie her coworkers tell her that she sucks for not taking her job seriously. Later on her friends tell her that she sucks for ''taking'' her job seriously. Apparently when it comes to fashion, you are [[With Us or Against Us]].
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'''Milton:''' Who told you to pull out all the stops on Mr Gettys? Who made that choice?
'''Kevin:''' It's entrapment, you set me up!
'''Milton:''' And [[Witch Doctor|Moyez!]] The direction you took! Popes, swamis, snake handlers, all feeding at the same trough. Whose ideas were those?
'''Kevin:''' You ''PLAYED'' ME! It was a test! Your test!
'''Milton:''' And Cullen- ''knowing he was guilty'', seeing those pictures- what did you do? (laughing) You put that lying bitch on the stand!
'''Kevin:''' You brought me in. You put me there! You made her lie!
'''Milton:''' ''I don't do that, Kevin!'' That day on the subway, what did I say to you? '''What were my words to you?''' Maybe it was your time to lose. You didn't think so.
'''Kevin:''' LOSE? I DON'T LOSE! I WIN! ''I WIN!'' I'M A LAWYER! THAT'S MY JOB! THAT'S WHAT I DO!
([[Beat]])
'''Milton:''' [[Shut Up, Kirk|I rest my case.]] }}
* In ''[[Harry Potter and
* In the animated film ''[[Dragons Fire and Ice]]'', the [[Big Bad]] {{spoiler|Xenos gets one towards the end, which also doubles as a [[Badass Boast]]}}.
{{quote|{{spoiler|'''Xenos:''' I, who for 1,000 years have manipulated their ancestors like puppets. I killed their dragons and they blamed each other. I know how they think. I know how they feel. They are but weak humans. And they can do nothing!}}}}
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'''Kane:''' (getting to his feet) Susan! ...Whatever I do, I do because I love you.
'''Susan:''' Love! You don't love anybody! Me or anybody else! You want to be loved - that's all you want! "I'm Charles Foster Kane. Whatever you want - just name it and it's yours! Only love me! Don't expect me to love you." }}
* ''[[The Caine Mutiny]]'': Military defense attorney Lt. Barney Greenwald (Jose Ferrer) gives one to the mutineers he successfully defended at the court martial but at the cost of Captain Queeg's reputation, saying that if they had supported Queeg from the beginning as they were obligated to do so, the mutiny never would have been necessary. At the end of it he saves most of his derision for the Lt. Keefer(Fred McMurray):
{{quote|'''Lt. Barney Greenwald:''' And now we come to the man who *should've* stood trial. The Caine's favorite author. The Shakespeare whose testimony nearly sunk us all. Tell 'em, Keefer!
'''Lieutenant Tom Keefer:''' [stiff and overcome with guilt] No, you go ahead. You're telling it better.
'''Lt. Barney Greenwald:''' You ought to read his testimony. He never even heard of Captain Queeg!
'''Lt. Steve Maryk:''' Let's forget it, Barney!
'''Lt. Barney Greenwald:''' Queeg was sick, he couldn't help himself. But you, you're *real* healthy. Only you didn't have one tenth the guts that he had.
'''Lieutenant Tom Keefer:''' Except I never fooled myself, Mr. Greenwald.
'''Lt. Barney Greenwald:''' I'm gonna drink a toast to you, Mr. Keefer.
[pours wine in a glass]
'''Lt. Barney Greenwald:''' From the beginning you hated the Navy. And then you thought up this whole idea. And you managed to keep your skirts nice, and starched, and clean, even in the court martial. Steve Maryk will always be remembered as a mutineer. But you, you'll publish your novel, you'll make a million bucks, you'll marry a big movie star, and for the rest of your life you'll live with your conscience, if you have any. Now here's to the *real* author of "The Caine Mutiny." Here's to you, Mr. Keefer.
[splashes wine in Keefer's face]
'''Lt. Barney Greenwald:''' If you wanna do anything about it, I'll be outside. I'm a lot drunker than you are, so it'll be a fair fight. }}
== Genre Busters ==
* ''[[Barton Fink]]''. "[[Punctuated! For! Emphasis!|BECAUSE! YOU! DON'T! LISTEN!]]"
== Horror ==
* Jigsaw in ''[[Saw]] II'' had a twisted logic that kind of made sense as to why he was carrying out those sadistic games.
== Musicals ==
* In ''[[Phantom of the Paradise]],'' after spending most of the film bandaging the Phantom's ego for his own purposes, the villainous record producer Swan decides to put his rebellious employee in his place by [[Driven to Suicide|driving him to suicide]] ... and then appearing to [[Kick the Dog|rub salt into the wound]]:
{{quote|Winslow, what a foolish thing to do. Didn't you read your contract closely? See where it says Terms of Agreement, can you ''read'' what it says? ''"This contact terminates with Swan"''. No more suicides, Winslow; you gave up your right to rest in peace when you signed this contract.}}
* In ''RSVP'', Hal Evans (played by the late lamented Glenn Quinn) delivers one of these to [[Ax Crazy]] Nick:
{{quote|'''Hal:''' You know, for a big brain, Nick, you're awfully fucking stupid.
'''Nick:''' Smart enough to beat you.
'''Hal:''' ''Beat?'' Hah! Shit, boy! Did you ever stop for fucking one goddamn minute and take a good arm's length look at the fucking situation, eh? You're nothin' but a shill, my friend -- a little experiment that I've privately undertaken, that I readily admits gone a ''wee'' bit wrong. Right, question: how much bullshit do I have to fill an overly intelligent but fucking emotionally retarded kid's head with before he steps, or in Nick's case ''leaps'', with both feet ''and'' a kitchen sink, over the edge?
'''Jordan:''' Evidently not fucking much!
'''Hal:''' Just whispered fucking sweet nothings about murder and mayhem into his ear, and three semesters later, he's got his best friend stuffed into a box, man. Jesus, kid, wake the fuck up! You're not in control here. I am, always have been!}}
== Satires ==
* Dr. Herbert Bock (George C. Scott) gets a great one in ''The Hospital'':
{{quote|"Eight days ago you showed up half-stoned for a simple nephrectomy, botched it, put the patient in failure, and damn near killed him. Then, pausing only to send in your bill, you flew off on the wings of Man to an island of sun in Montego Bay. This is the third time in two years we've had to patch up your patients. The other two died. You're greedy, unfeeling, inept, indifferent, self-inflating, and unconscionably profitable. Besides that, I have nothing against you. I'm sure you play a hell of a game of golf."}}
* Another Paddy Chayefsky-scripted film, ''[[Network]]'', has Max Schumacher (William Holden) giving one of these to Diana Christensen (Faye Dunaway) when he breaks up with her:
{{quote|"You need me! You need me badly. Because I'm your last contact with human reality! I love you! And that painful, decaying love is the only thing between you and the shrieking nothingness you live the rest of the day. [...] It's too late, Diana. There's nothing left in you that I can live with. You're one of Howard's humanoids. If I stay with you, I'll be destroyed. Like Howard Beale was destroyed. Like Laureen Hobbs was destroyed. Like everything you and the institution of television touch is destroyed. You're television incarnate, Diana: Indifferent to suffering; insensitive to joy. All of life is reduced to the common rubble of banality. War, murder, death are all the same to you as bottles of beer. And the daily business of life is a corrupt comedy. You even shatter the sensations of time and space into split seconds and instant replays. You're madness, Diana. Virulent madness. And everything you touch dies with you. But not me. Not as long as I can feel pleasure, and pain, and love. And it's a happy ending. Wayward husband, comes to his senses, returns to his wife, with whom he's established a long, sustaining love. Heartless young woman, left alone in her arctic desolation. Music up with a swell, final commercial. And here are a few scenes from next week's show."}}
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{{quote|'''Aaron''': Okay, so I'm a company man. So I'm not a fucking criminal! You keep telling me how dumb I am: well I'm smart enough not to have a life sentence on this rock!}}
* Columbia from the ''[[Rocky Horror Picture Show]]'' gives a [[Awesome Moments|truly epic]] speech to Frank pointing out to him how much of a [[All Take and No Give|selfish jerk he really is]].
{{quote|'''Columbia''': My God! I can't stand any more of this! First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky! You chew people up and then you spit them out again... I loved you... do you hear me? I loved you! And what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you: a big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah, well, I've had enough. You're gonna choose between me and Rocky, so named after the rocks in his head! }}
* ''[[Outland (film)|Outland]]''. The [[Corrupt Corporate Executive]] gives one of these to [[Sean Connery|Marshall O'Neil]], who later admits that maybe the reason he's sticking his neck out is to find if he really is as worthless as everyone thinks he is.
* Rufus Shinra gives one to Kadaj in ''[[Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children|Final Fantasy VII Advent Children]]'', ending with the following line:
{{quote|'''Rufus Shinra:''' So bring your [[Eldritch Abomination|Jenovas]] and your [[Dark Messiah|Sephiroths]]. We'll just stop you every time. }}
== Thrillers ==
* In ''[[Falling Down]]'', Det. Prendergast has the perfect statement to tell D-Fense that he had no right to commit all the violent crimes he did against his petty frustrations.
{{quote|'''Sergeant Prendergast''': Is that what this is about? Is that why my chicken dinner is drying out in the oven? You're mad because they lied to you? Listen, pal, they lie to everyone. They lie to the fish. But that doesn't give you any special right to do what you did today. }}
* Both used and subverted in ''[[Layer Cake]]'': after [[Daniel Craig|XXXX]] and his crew finally deliver the ecstasy pills to [[Magnificent Bastard|Eddie Temple]], all of them are rather surprised when the payment of three million pounds is replaced with {{spoiler|membership to a very exclusive gentleman's club}} and enforced at gunpoint. Eddie explains himself very frankly to XXXX in his office, before turning the [[Reason You Suck Speech]] into a very memorable "Welcome To The Business" lecture:
{{quote|'''Eddie:''' You and [[Smug Snake|Jimmy]] have caused [[Spoiled Sweet|my little angel Charlotte]] considerable anxiety: she's off to Arizona for a course of intense treatment. I'm keeping those pills for myself, by way of compensation. I think I'm entitled. Simple. End of. The amount of trouble you've caused the last few days.... Jimmy. [[Alas, Poor Villain|Poor little Jimmy.]] It would be in your interests if this thing finishes here, now, today. Understand?<br />
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* In ''[[Pimpernel Smith]]'' the hero gives the entire Nazi Reich one:
{{quote|'''Smith''': May a dead man say a few words to you for your enlightenment? You will never rule the world, because you are doomed. All of you who have demoralized and corrupted a nation are doomed. Tonight you will take the first step along a dark road from which there is no turning back. You will have to go on and on, from one madness to another, leaving behind you a wilderness of misery and hatred. And still you will have to go on, because you will find no horizon, and see no dawn, until at last you are lost and destroyed. You are doomed, captain of murderers. And one day, sooner or later, you will remember my words... }}
== Westerns ==
* At one point in ''Hud'' (1963), the title character demands to know why his father, Homer, dislikes him so much:
{{quote|'''Hud:''' All right, I'll bite, what turned you sour on me? Not that I give a damn.
'''Homer:''' Just that, Hud. You don't give a damn. That's all, that's the whole of it. You still don't get it, do you? You don't care about people, Hud. You don't give a damn about 'em. Oh, you got all that charm goin' for you. And it makes the youngsters want to be like you. That's the shame of it, 'cause you don't value nothin'. You don't respect nothin'. You keep no check on your appetites at all. You live just for yourself. And that makes you not fit to live with. }}
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