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"The Reason You Suck" Speech: Difference between revisions
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A hero worth his salt might respond with his own speech along the lines of a [[World of Cardboard Speech]] or a [[Patrick Stewart Speech|Picard]] or [[Kirk Summation]], among others. If it's an action movie, the hero will usually just break out a [[Shut UP, Hannibal]] and the [[My Name Is Inigo Montoya|shootout/fisticuffs]] will begin. Sometimes the hero survives only because they're [[Not Worth Killing]], in which case they'll invariably prove that they are later in the story. A [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]] if the person of the receiving end of the speech is a [[Jerkass]] who had it coming, double [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]] if a [[Jerkass]] gives this to someone and he or she respond with their own to the asshole, humiliating him.
Heroes can also give defeated villains [["The Reason You Suck" Speech]]es, often pointing out their [[Cut Lex Luthor a Check|wasted potential]] or how their obsession with [[Revenge Before Reason|defeating the hero has ruined them]], or in the case of the [[Well
Alternatively, the speech is given by someone who's just frustrated with the other person. This is not an attempt bring down or break an opponent. This is not an exchange between heroes and villains (heck, they might even be friends). This is someone, tired of everything they have to deal with, giving a frank and [[Brutal Honesty|brutally honest]] assessment of the person they're dealing with, often in a [[What the Hell, Hero?]] moment. This can be [[Insult Backfire|prone to backfire]] with a suitably shallow, self-obsessed, and/or [[Genre Savvy]] target; who typically responds with [[Red Dwarf (TV)|"You've just listed all of my best features!"]] Will often provoke an attempted refutation or justification from the target; which, depending on the source, can be played for comedy, drama, or [[Wangst]].
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One (really) last note: you'll find that some of these can be subverted to serve as [[Dare to Be Badass]] speeches as well.
{{examples
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* Through 2011 and into 2012, [[Corrupt Corporate Executive|John Laurinaitis]] has been getting under the skin of most of the Raw roster. One person especially who has never liked "Big Johnny" would be [[CM Punk]]. Heading into the ''Royal Rumble'' pay-per-view, Punk has been having problems with Laurinaitis of the [[Stop Helping Me]] variety, which finally came to a head on the January 16, 2012 ''Raw'' with a beautiful TRYSS which made for early candidate to Pipe Bomb of the Year, as Punk called out Laurinaitis for how it must've ate him alive with jealousy that while his brother was one of the legendary Road Warriors, he himself was so utterly terrible and/or bland/nondescript in the ring (which has some basis in reality, as he gets almost no credit for the RKO / Gringo Cutter / Diamond Cutter despite the fact that it was the Ace Crusher first) that he had to trade in his tights for a suit to get anywhere in the business, whereas the anti-authority rebel Punk is the WWE Champion and has accomplished more in the past year than Ace has his entire career. This and some prodding by [[Mick Foley]] to at least admit his true intentions led to a [[Villainous Breakdown]] which was oddly enough the most interesting Laurinaitis has ever been.
* [[Edge]] was quite adept at handing these out to various wrestlers throughout his career. But perhaps the most noticeable and famous was his promo to [[Matt Hardy]] after the latter's return after being fired due to the [[Lita]] scandal. After hearing Hardy's awful return promo in which he said he hoped Edge would die in a car accident, Edge responded the next week in a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfsRwbuvdwY six minute destruction] of Hardy as a person and a wrestler. Deriding Hardy for his lack of commitment to Lita and how he was only in his position because of riding Edge's coat tails, ended with Edge pleading Hardy to buckle up and be safe so he could have the pleasure of beating him at [[Summer Slam]].
** This promo was not totally appreciated back around the time that it happened for already-stated reasons, but over time it (as well as Edge and Lita themselves) would end up a case of [[Vindicated By History]] with each passing headline involving the three parties over the years. See, Edge did beat Hardy at [[Summer Slam]], by KO at that, and then won the feud overall a couple months later. Then he went on to establish himself as a legend over the next few years with world championship titles and top notch main event feuds in the double digits before retiring World Heavyweight Champion and becoming a first-ballot happily retired Hall of Famer, whereas Matt would descend into a bonafide [[Attention Whore]] and even lose his status as the [[Red Oni, Blue Oni|"responsible" Hardy brother]] as his career dwindled to the point of failing even as a midcarder in [[TNA]], making Edge's statements in this promo more and more prophetic by the day.
* [[Ric Flair]] verbally [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hunVTAbsUg destroys] Carlito's career in only two minutes.
* On the 5/14/12 edition of ''Raw'', [[John Cena]] was at it again, verbally tearing apart John Laurinaitis and his egotistical rule as [[Corrupt Corporate Executive|General Manager]] of both Raw & SmackDown.
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* Done in ''[[Man of La Mancha]]'' by the Knight of the Mirrors (actually Carrasco in disguise), with attendants pushing mirrors into Don Quixote's face every way he turns:
{{quote| "Look! Don Quixote! Look in the mirror of reality and behold things as they truly are. Look! What seest thou, Don Quixote? A gallant knight? Naught but an aging fool! Look! Dost thou see him? A madman dressed for a masquerade! Look, Don Quixote! See him as he truly is! See the clown! Drown, Don Quixote. Drown--drown in the mirror. Go deep--the masquerade is ended! Confess! Thy lady is a trollop, and thy dream the nightmare of a disordered mind!"}}
* ''[[The Taming of the Shrew]]'' by [[William Shakespeare]] ends with titular "shrew," Katharina, giving a very biting - and long - [["The Reason You Suck" Speech]] to Bianca and the Widow:
{{quote| '''Katharina:'''Such duty as the subject owes the prince<br />
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;<br />
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'''The Joker:''' The biggest one ever! The mother of all jokes! And the best part is, you're the ''butt'' of it! Oh, I hate to break it to ya, pallie, but I'm afraid the only reality you know ''is'' the world of fiction!<br />
'''Darkseid:''' Ah, so it's madness. Not an uncommon reaction to one's impending doom. Still-<br />
'''The Joker:''' Oh, I was mad long before you came along, oh Lord of Pain and Suffering and... [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|Blue Shorts.]] And even I have a better grip on reality than you. Those other realities that Stan's Place links to? They're all comic book universes- just like this one! All the heroes meet up at that bar so they can shoot the breeze about who's getting a movie next. And no wonder you're so interested in Stan- he's the one person there who's ''not'' a comic book character. If there's anyone dominating reality, its ''him'', not you. In fact, what was it you said about comic books before? Ah yes, they're "insignificant endeavours in entertainment on a pathetic planet"- of which ''YOU are one!'' (Laughs hysterically before Darkseid vapourises him.)<br />
'''Darkseid:''' ''[White hot fury]'' [[Punctuated for Emphasis|That's. Not. Funny.]] }}
** In the first season of "After Hours," Lex Luthor gave one to Superman in an attempt to recruit him in joining him in his plan to [[Ret Gone]] the Marvel Universe:
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'''Master Chief:''' "wat, u think ur n e funs 2 lived w/? ...when ur not paraeding around h33r pretending 2 sound samrt ur sitting arond all :( drinking all teh bewze whining liek a little cunt about hao much dick ur lief sux..." }}
* The Webshow [[TV Trash]] features a series of episodes where Chris "Rowdy C" Moore watches three of the most controversial [[Family Guy (Animation)|Family Guy]] episodes ever. After sitting through "Not All Dogs Go to Heaven" (arguably the most despised episode among Tropers), Rowdy concludes "Family Guy Month" by "talking" to [[Seth Macfarlane|Seth MacFarlane]].
{{quote| And so, after a full month of pointing out some of the worst "Family Guy" has churned out, what else is there to say? (shows a picture of [[Seth Macfarlane|Seth MacFarlane]]; cuts back to Rowdy) Fine, I'll tell you. You have become one of the worst examples of comedy out there. You've not only [[The Scrappy|made all]] [[
** For those who do not know, this speech is a parody of Quagmire telling off Brian in "Jerome is the New Black"
* On the [[American Idol]] forum [[Exactly What It Says On the Tin|idolforums]] a poster laid into an overzealous fan who attacked one of the other contestants
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