(The Customer is) Not Always Right: Difference between revisions

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* [[Bilingual Backfire]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/cost-in-the-translation Here], [http://notalwaysright.com/cost-in-the-translation-part-2 here], [http://notalwaysright.com/customers-should-watch-their-language-part-2 here], and [http://notalwaysright.com/in-a-tsary-state this.] [[Badass Grandpa]] indeed.
** [http://notalwaysright.com/parlez-vous-douchebag Here, too].
** [http://notalwaysright.com/arabian-plights-2 And here].
* [[Binary Suns]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/seeing-the-sun-in-a-whole-new-light Surprisingly enough], our solar system [http://notalwaysright.com/seeing-the-sun-in-a-whole-new-light-2 doesn't have this feature].
* [[Black Widow]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/got-love-in-the-bank/13310 A passive and ultimately unsuccessful one], but absolutely rotten person, all the same.
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* [[Cassandra Truth]]: All too often, the customers ''will not accept'' the word of the employee at face value, as they believe the employee is always trying to cheat them. All too often, the customers end up worse off because of their own paranoia.
* [[Casual Danger Dialogue]] / [[Skewed Priorities]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/an-alarming-turn-of-events/10913 “Oh, okay. By the way, my keypad seems to be on fire. Is that a bad thing?”]
** "You know that computer that was a fire risk? [http://notalwaysright.com/100-chance-of-disaster/14402 She meant that it was on fire]."
** "Your stupid fire alarm is going off again! [http://notalwaysright.com/where-theres-smoke/11486 Just tell me how to turn it off]..."
** [http://notalwaysright.com/this-caller-is-off-the-hook/11949 Note: I have been speaking to this caller for at least a half-hour...]
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* [[Department of Redundancy Department]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/banking-error Here], with a side order of [[Hypocritical Humor]].
** [http://notalwaysright.com/pdf-please-dont-fuss/17343 This customer] ''thinks'' they caught the submitter being redundant...
* [[Did I Just Say That Out Loud?]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/thats-what-he-thought Here]. And [http://notalwaysright.com/stone-baked-goodness here]. And [http://notalwaysright.com/stripped-of-his-confidence here].
* [[Did Not Do the Research]]: "[http://notalwaysright.com/tricky-customers-are-just-killer-part-2 Don’t you know about] [[Moby Dick]]? [http://notalwaysright.com/tricky-customers-are-just-killer-part-2 He eats people alive. It’s true, it’s in] ''[[The Bible]]''!"
** [http://notalwaysright.com/dont-let-the-door-hit-you-on-the-way-out "No, you listen to me! I didn't drive all the way here to be treated like this. Back then, trust was enough to keep things rolling, but now everyone thinks everyone is a liar! This country is a F*** ING dump! Do I look 12 to you? I'm telling you, I'm 18 and I'm allowed to buy beer, and..."] ''* rants on and on* '' <ref>While some US states do allow alcohol purchases at age 18, and others have in the past, Nevada--where this incident takes place--is not and has never been one of them.</ref>
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* [[Eskimos Aren't Real]]:
** [http://notalwaysright.com/not-one-of-historys-mysteries Native Americans]
*** And again. Read [[Politically-Correct History|Susan Jeffers]] much?
** [http://notalwaysright.com/watashi-whaaa Japan]
* [[Everything's Better with Dinosaurs]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/watch-out-for-the-pansysaurus Watch Out For The Pansysaurus!]
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* [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin]]: A concept that seems to escape [http://notalwaysright.com/please-let-these-questions-be-rhetorical-part-2 some] customers.
* [[Exact Words]]: But I ''didn't'' damage the pans with a ''[http://notalwaysright.com/when-non-stick-causes-friction hammer and chisel!]''
** After all, the customer is always right - [http://notalwaysright.com/driving-a-hard-bargain even if he's a jerk not realizing the depth of his ignorance].
** Invoking the principle is often [http://notalwaysright.com/your-biggest-bugbear enough].
** [http://notalwaysright.com/the-perfect-answer "The Perfect Answer"]
* [[Exiled to the Couch]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/a-match-made-in-size-7 This woman] tries to exile her boyfriend to the couch after he takes the side of a shop assistant over her. It doesn't quite work out... not least because they don't actually live in the same house. Hard to believe, but it actually gets ''worse'' for her from that point.
* [[Extreme Omnivore]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/eating-disorderly Mmm, tickets.]
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* [[It's for a Book]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/murder-she-wrote This woman] probably really is writing a book, but it's shaping up to be a weird one.
* [[It's Popular, Now It Sucks]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/righteous-indie-nation To the point where] "popular" is "[[It's All About Me|I heard about this]]".
* [[It Will Never Catch On]]: Those novelty [http://notalwaysright.com/this-customer-is-phoney "phone"] things.
* [[I Want Grandkids]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/get-thee-to-a-nursery Get Thee To A Nursery]! [http://notalwaysright.com/a-mothers-love Maybe she will eventually meet this guy?]
* [[Jedi Mind Trick]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/voodoo-or-do-not-there-is-no-jedi This isn't the resort you're looking for].
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* [[No Sense of Direction]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/directionally-challenged This fellow] who doesn't seem to understand the concept of next door.
* [[No True Scotsman]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/customer-service-with-zeal Or should we say, No True New Zilander?]
* [[No Waterproofing in the Future]]: We [http://notalwaysright.com/sass-subtle-artificial-sassy-server mean], of course, those [http://notalwaysright.com/his-humor-is-a-bit-rusty robots].
* [[Noodle Implements]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/recipe-for-an-interesting-evening Ping-pong balls and Vaseline]? That can't be good. Try searching for "ping-pong balls" on the [[Noodle Implements]] page and you'll see what I mean.
** [http://notalwaysright.com/this-can-not-end-well-part-2 These two items in conjunction cannot lead to anything good].
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** [http://notalwaysright.com/if-it-looks-like-a-cow-and-moos-like-a-cow Due to difficulties returning from a petting zoo, my mother and I had a 3 month old calf riding in the front seat of our truck.]
* [[Not a Morning Person]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/misery-demands-company-part-3 This lady.]
* [[Not Now, Kiddo]]: [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-scream-for-someone-to-listen This one]].
* [[Number of the Beast]]: A few accounts of superstitious customers trying to avoid paying $6.66, or getting $6.66 in change.
* [[Obnoxious In-Laws]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/a-dogged-sense-of-humor He doesn't exactly call them...]
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* [[Our Vampires Are Different]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/more-daylight-less-twilight-part-7 Here's one Twilight fan that doesn't know about this trope.]
* [[Overly Long Gag]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/how-cows-order-coffee I know that! That is a SMALL coffee with 11 MILKS!]
** That's Why We're In a Recession, part... [http://notalwaysright.com/this-is-why-were-in-a-recession-part-1531 1530]? And there's probably more of them coming.
* [[Paper-Thin Disguise]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/devil-in-disguise This lady] falls not only falls for one, she points out something different that ''wasn't even changed''.
* [[Panicky Expectant Father]]: Inverted [http://notalwaysright.com/contractions-speak-louder-than-words-part-3 here], where the guy is ''not'' going to let the fact that his wife is visibly in labor and ready to drop stop him from arguing over a discount on a duffel bag. And the worse thing is the bag has nothing to do with the pregnancy; he needs it for a trip ''the next week''.
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* [[Peking Duck Christmas]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/one-good-takeout-deserves-another Inverted].
* [[Perspective Flip]]: Of a sort; [http://notalwaysright.com/precarious-insurance-part-3 this] one is a customer submitting their own ditz moment.
* [[Poe's Law]] / [[Stealth Parody]] / : ExactlyOn the meta-level - exactly how many of the stories are genuine and how many are actually pure bullshit made up by trolls or somebody with an axe to grind? And in the former case, it can be very difficult to tell whether some of these people are genuinely that crazy or just real-life [[Troll|trolls]].
* [[Political Correctness Gone Mad]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/fowl-mouthed-accusations "Peacock"] is a dirty word and you should be ashamed! I prefer you use the term "pearooster".
** Also, [http://notalwaysright.com/fighting-ignorance-with-ignorance we don’t say "Indian"]. And [http://notalwaysright.com/darkest-africa a map of Africa] is disturbing.
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* [[Sex Sells]]: Self-inflicted in "[http://notalwaysright.com/talking-shirty Talking Shirty]"
* [[Shaped Like Itself]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/more-than-mildly-confused Here]. [http://notalwaysright.com/water-you-stupid-part-4 Liquid drinks are made of liquid. That’s what makes them drinkable.]
** Unless it's too much like itself -- [http://notalwaysright.com/the-problem-with-dirty-words dirt is too dirty] and [http://notalwaysright.com/please-placebo-me salt is too salty].
** [http://notalwaysright.com/not-a-very-smart-cookie Almost] per the [[Trope Namer]] (and the customer ''still doesn't get it''):
{{quote| '''Customer''': What manner o' thing is your peanut butter cookie? <br />
'''Shop Clerk''': 'Tis a cookie, sir, with peanut butter in it. }}
* [[Shell-Shocked Veteran]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/this-was-before-he-started-lobbing-cantaloupes Here.]
* [[Shmuck Bait]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/putting-your-foot-in-it "Don't look at my feet."]
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** [http://notalwaysright.com/ready-aim-equality/18793 "Ain’t no women in guns. Mens the only ones who can know anything ’bout my situation!”"]
** This is apparently [http://notalwaysright.com/hung-up-on-gender/19156 this customer's] train of thought, spending ''eight hours'' hanging up just because the person responding was female.
* [[Stealth Parody]]: It can be very difficult to tell whether some of these people are genuinely crazy or just real-life [[Troll|trolls]].
* [[The Stoner]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/as-opposed-to-the-ones-that-you-can-like-smoke This customer] is either this or a [[Valley Girl]].
** [http://notalwaysright.com/dude-that-must-be-some-strong-weed-part-2 “Ah, no man, I need my money to get my weed.”]
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** [http://notalwaysright.com/they-are-not-the-balls-you-are-looking-for/19208 Young man, do you have balls?]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/buy-one-euphemism-get-the-second-one-free/17336 new jugs]
** And [http://notalwaysright.com/fishing-for-tramps a tramp stamp for trout].
* [[That Liar Lies]]: Too many times to count. Can't get your way at a store? Well then, they're obviously just lying in order to weasel out of doing any work, the lazy bastards!
* [[That's What She Said]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/thats-what-he-thought Turns up] on [http://notalwaysright.com/more-frisky-than-frail occasion.] [http://notalwaysright.com/pay-up-shot-down Can backfire].
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** ''[[Princess Mononoke]]'' -- [http://notalwaysright.com/kids-movies-cost-an-arm-and-a-leg it's just a princess cartoon, right?] To the woman's credit, she does take the clerk's advice pretty quickly.
** Also occurs with ''[[Pan's Labyrinth|Pan's]] [http://notalwaysright.com/may-contain-scenes-of-gratuitous-bowie/1803 Labyrinth]'' and ''[[Con Air|Con]] [http://notalwaysright.com/violence-on-tv-stupidity-on-the-couch/1144 Air]''
** ''[[Nick Cave|The Death Of Bunny Munro]]''. You'd think a dead hooker right on the cover [http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-exactly-hook-the-kiddies counts as a hint].
* [[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/almost-as-bad-as-the-large-hadron-collider "YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED!"].
** [http://notalwaysright.com/post-dramatic The pain! It never ends.]
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* [[You Gotta Have Blue Hair]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/who-needs-highs-when-youve-got-dyes "Am I still high, or is your hair really like that?"]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/another-tragic-hair-disaster It's an emergency].
* [[You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!]]: Often.
* [[You Keep Using That Word]]: [http://notalwaysright.com/you-got-the-wrongest-item-part-4/9504 “The one with the built in paedophile?”]
** [http://notalwaysright.com/get-the-correct-word-step-by-step/10195 And another], possibly counting as [[Curse Cut Short]].