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{{trope}}
[[File:miliscorns 7933.gif|link=Basic Instructions|
A system of measurement for something that doesn't seem like it could be measured in discrete units in the first place. Almost always used for humor. [[Broke the Rating Scale]] may invoke this when it gets silly. This is presumably how you tell if something is [[20% More Awesome]].
Compare [[Hiroshima as a Unit of Measure]], which is when someone measures a quantifiable thing in a strange way.
{{examples}}▼
▲{{examples}}
== [[Anime]] and [[Manga]] ==
* ''[[Dragonball Z]]'': "Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his [[Power Level]]?" [[Memetic Mutation|"It's over nine thousaaaaaand!!!"]]
** It would be one thing if the scouter was simply quantifying stored energy, but it seems to be able to quantify fighting effectiveness as evidenced by Goku's and Picolo's power levels registering higher after they take off their weighted clothing.
== [[Fan Works]] ==
* ''[[Vision of Escaflowne Abridged]]'' reveals that angst can be measured in [[Neon Genesis Evangelion|megaShinjis]].▼
== [[Film]] ==
* At the end of the first ''[[Men in Black (film)|Men in Black]]'' movie, J quantifies the battle with the Bug as ranking 9.5 on the "Weird-Shit-O-Meter".
== [[Literature]] ==▼
▲== Literature ==
** Note that Helen herself scores 1.186 Helens.▼
* Borderline example, since it measures magic, which doesn't actually exist in the real world anyway, from ''[[Discworld]]'':
{{quote|A thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal-sized billiard balls.}}
** Naturally, it is measured by [[A Worldwide Punomenon|thaumometers]]. Some early books measure magic in "Primes". ''[[Universe Compendium|The Companion]]'' eventually [[All There in the Manual|explained]] that the Prime was the metric measurement, and the thaum is the "imperial" one. Wizards tending to be hidebound traditionalists, the Prime never caught on.
* ''[[Good Omens]]'' gives us the alp, as a way of measuring belief (in reference to the notion that "faith moves mountains"). Most people are able to generate millialps. {{spoiler|Adam's belief is measured in Everests.}}
* An amateur sci-fi writer group on [[
* In ''The Schrodinger's Cat Trilogy'', the sequel to ''[[The Illuminatus Trilogy]]'', Dr. Dashwood is a sex researcher, whose scales are named after pornographic stars:
{{quote|"Sincerity we measure in Spelvins on a scale of zero to ten," Dashwood went on, totally absorbed in his subject. "Hedonism in Lovelaces-we've been lucky there; subjects are able to distinguish sixteen graduations. Finally, there's the dimension of Tenderness-we find zero to seven covers that, so that the perfect Steinem Job, if I may use the vernacular, would consist of ten Spelvins of Sincerity, sixteen Lovelaces of Hedonism, and seven Havens of Tenderness."}}
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* ''[[America (The Book)]]'' book gauged the value of a news story in [[wikipedia:Joey Buttafuoco|Buttafuocos]].
== [[Live-Action TV]] ==▼
▲== Live-Action TV ==
* ''[[Mystery Science Theater 3000]]'' had the "shame-o-meter" for measuring the amount of shame emanating from washed-out actors in a 70s ''[[Charlie's Angels]]'' rip-off movie. It measured in (Peter) Lawfords. Jim Backus registered well into the giga-Lawford range.
== [[Tabletop Games]] ==▼
* Rather common in roleplaying games featuring magic or anything like it. In ''[[Dungeons
▲== Tabletop Games ==
▲* Rather common in roleplaying games featuring magic or anything like it. In ''[[Dungeons and Dragons]]'' your basic magical ability can come from Intelligence, which is at least something people seriously ''attempt'' to measure in real life, but also Wisdom, which has something to do with good moral sense, or maybe attunement to nature if you're a druid, or the ability to see the broad picture but anyway divination spells are based on it.
* ''[[Genius: The Transgression]]'' has several different unit systems (most likely a reference to all the different temperature scales) to measure "mania".
* An archon in ''[[The Order of the Stick]]'' measured evil in terms of [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0489.html kilo-nazis], with a baseline of a hypothetical offspring of [[101 Dalmatians|Cruella de Vil]] and [[The Lord of the Rings|Sauron]].
* Early on in ''[[Schlock Mercenary]]'', there is frequent mention of an absolute system of measurement for pain in [[Just for Pun|Kill-o-Hurtz]]. Various medical instruments are rated according to how much pain they inflict. The concept hasn't been mentioned in a long time, however, as the ''Schlock Mercenary'' universe (if not the actual story) has [[Cerebus Syndrome|become somewhat more "serious"]].
* In ''[[Casey and Andy]]'', Andy names the "fundamental unit of time travel" after [http://www.galactanet.com/comic/view.php?strip=282 himself] (and the fundamental unit of stupid after Casey).
* [http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1716#comic This] ''[[Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]]'' measures anger in [[
* ''[[Megatokyo]]'' features a [[Magical Girl]] Detector that's calibrated in [http://www.megatokyo.com/strips/1107.png sparklogems], of course.
* In ''[[El Goonish Shive]]'', Grace refers to "Seymours", [http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2011-02-11 a unit of measure for sadness] using the "[[Tear Jerker|Jurassic Bark]]" episode of ''[[Futurama]]'' as a baseline.
** Also, Elliot and Ellen discussing Noah. "He's ''[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2010-04-05 third grade Tedd]'' awkward?!"
* ''[[Questionable Content]]'' gets this now and again with its odd [[Twenty Minutes in The Future]] setting; usually coming from Hannelore, who grew up on a space station. For example, the current arc's "Fournier-Goldman Happiness Transforms", which measure happiness (Marten makes an attempt at calculating Hannelore's happiness for her father's benefit, but he couldn't follow the material after it brought up Irrational Birthday Integers).
== [[Web Original]] ==
▲== Web Original ==
* ''[[The Spoony Experiment]]'': Doctor Insano built a device to measure gayness in giga-queers.
▲* ''[[Vision of Escaflowne Abridged]]'' reveals that angst can be measured in [[Neon Genesis Evangelion|megaShinjis]].
* The [http://catb.org/jargon/html/M/milliLampson.html milliLampson] is a unit of talking speed - [[wikipedia:Butler Lampson|Butler Lampson]] was said to run at [[Motor Mouth|1000 milliLampsons]], when a normal person averaged 200mL. Can also be a unit of thinking speed.
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20121201091245/http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/Snapes_on_an_Astral_Plane "The epic insanity of Lady Darkness really needs to be memorialized, so I propose the creation of an official unit of batshit, named after her. One Ladark (a portmandeau -- don't want to use an existing word) is defined as the amount of batshittery necessary to believe a fictional character originating within the last 20 years is real and speaks to you. Most wanks can be measured in milliLadarks. This one hits about three."]
* One article on ''[[The Onion]]'', mocking [http://www.theonion.com/articles/revolutionary-new-insoles-combine-five-forms-of-ps,759/ pseudoscience], features a "biotrician" named Doctor Frankel boasting that his specially-developed insoles "convert the wearer's own energy to match the Earth's natural vibrational rate of 32.805 kilofrankels."
== [[Western Animation]] ==▼
▲== Western Animation ==
* ''[[Futurama]]'' once had a device that measured coolness in [[Happy Days|mega-fonzies]]. There was also the funkometer for smells and a device that measured the accuracy of mad beats laid down by the [[Beastie Boys]].
** For the record, they were laying it down with an 80% Success rate.
{{quote|"I believe that qualifies as "ill," at least from a technical standpoint."}}
* ''[[Phineas and Ferb]]'' has devices that cause similar effects, such as Phineas' Cute-Tracker ([[Ship Tease|Isabella made it overload]]). Santa's elves also carry meters that measure people's relative niceness or naughtiness.
* ''[[Codename: Kids Next Door]]''; in "Operation: S.A.T.U.R.N." the team uses the [[Cool Spaceship|S.P.A.C.E.R.C.H.A.S.E.R.]] to pursue Kuki's stolen Rainbow Monkey, which Abby registers as [[Shout Out|"moving at Warp]][[Star Trek|Factor FAST!"]]
== [[Real Life]] ==▼
▲== Real Life ==
* The [[wikipedia:Kent Hovind|Hovind Scale]] measures the craziness of creationists. It was, of course, meant largely as a joke.
* Fame is sometimes measured in Warhols. One Warhol equals [[w:15 minutes of fame|15 minutes of fame]]. Someone who is famous for 15,000 minutes would have one kiloWarhol.
▲** Note that Helen herself scores [[Logic Bomb|1.186 Helens]].
** ''[[Irregular Webcomic]]'' has pointed out that you shouldn't mix metric prefixes with [[Incredibly Lame Pun|Troy units]].
** The unit made an appearance in ''[[The Rebel Angels]]'', a novel by Robertson Davies, where it was invented by Cambridge mathematician W.A.H. Rushton.
* [[NASA]] measures resistance to Space Adaptation Sickness in Garns, where a person who rates one Garn being totally useless in microgravity.
* UNIX system load average is measured in Vastons, even though there's no meaningful or objective way to measure or compare load averages between systems.
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:Absurdity Ascendant]]
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