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All the Tropes Additional Evil Overlord Vows: Difference between revisions

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All the Tropes Additional Evil Overlord Vows (view source)

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* I will not disregard any potential threat simply because it's [[Just a Kid]]. Instead, I will keep tabs on any kids who might turn out to be a [[Kid Hero]], ''especially'' skinny spiky-haired preteen boys and those who wear [[Rollerblade Good|rollerblades]] and speak in [[Totally Radical|antiquated '80s slang]].
* Any who pose a threat to me (given a particularly liberal definition of 'threat') will be quietly [[unperson]]ed, and their disappearance attributed to those kidnappers over at [[La Résistance]]. I don't have to worry about their death motivating a relative to bring me down, either, because that only applies to killing [[Dead Little Sister|exaggeratedly-innocent girls who have heroic-looking older brothers]].
* If I am ever face-to-face with the protagonist, I will tie him/her down first to make sure he/she can't do any damage before I [[Just Between You and Me|monologue]]. Better yet, I'll just resist the urge to monologue. Even better, I will [[Just Shoot Him]]. Better still, I will monologue to his [[Faking the Dead|corpse]], no—[[Back Fromfrom the Dead|ashes]], no— [[Soul Jar]]. Relieves the stress of holding in the monologue, no risk that he'll tell anyone, and the added insult that whatever I'm doing most likely ''already worked''. Alternately, I will spend a minute a day writing a monologue up, then have an assistant splice audio clips of me talking together into the monologue, put it on my iPod as an [[MP3]], and I will play it on the main speakers along with dramatic music while I am off ''actually doing something important.''
* There is a time and a place for my [[Evil Laugh|maniacal laugh]], and that is right after my adorable little granddaughter does something cute (such as pulling the lever on the trap door under an incompetent minion) because she thinks my special laugh is cute and she will start laughing herself and very few Heroes will attack a doting grandfather while his 6 year-old granddaughter laughs with him. I will not, however, engage in maniacal laughter at an inappropriate time, such as when I am ordering my troops into battle or when my Grand Master Plan has nearly come to fruition, because any hero worthy of the name will choose that moment to attack.
* I will use robot guards programmed to kill any human on sight. Anyone loyal to me will have a special transmitter implanted in their brain, indicating to these robot guards that they are not targets. These transmitters will also deactivate on the death of their owner, and make their owners completely loyal to me, so the hero cannot exploit such an implant, allowing them access to my Evil Fortress.
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* If I am the Overlord of a video game, I will have my Legions of Evil track down any and all [[Save Point|saving]]/[[Trauma Inn|healing]] points and either remove them or [[Everything Is Trying to Kill You|rig them to]] [[Stuff Blowing Up|violently self-destruct]] or otherwise attack the hero if he ([[No Man of Woman Born|or she]]) tries to use them. Except for one, which will be moved to my personal quarters and restricted to my own use. [[Save Scumming]] may be cheating, but then again, [[Fighting Dirty|I am an Evil Overlord.]]
** In fact, if my research indicates that I am a boss in a video game, I will carefully study the list of [[Classic Video Game "Screw You"s]] and will endeavor to include as many of them in my base as possible. If the Hero never gets to fight me because the player controlling him or her gave up in frustration, then I win by default.
* I will also have my Army of Terror clearing [[Random Encounter|weaker foes]] from the fields once a week. The Hero will abandon his quest if the only ways for grinding are those little cute critters that lower their karmic point (and don't provide much XP), my [[mook]]s (whose weekly level-grind has made them stronger, and have better equipment) and the [["Wake -Up Call" Boss]].
** Removing said monsters and bandits will also [[Villain with Good Publicity|improve my reputation among the populace]] and reduce the chances of poverty-induced discontent.
* I will store the [[Plot Coupon]]s in a single place. The door that needs the coupons to open will be between the hero's starting location and myself. Ha.
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* Female minions will be given more protective equipment than [[Breast Plate|metal lingere']].
** [http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6550847/female-armor-sucks detailed here]
* [[You Have Failed Me...|Failure]] will be punished by demotion and a round of brainwashing, rather than summary execution. Dead minions can't fight. Besides, brainwashing is fun!
* When assembling teams, I will go through everyone's backstories to check for possible sources of conflict. If one of the potential members happens to blame another for the tragedy that ruined his life, they ''do not'' work together.
* I will make it clear that anyone caught [[Metal Gear Solid|browsing a dirty magazine]], [[Metal Slug|playing a videogame, talking on his mobile phone]], or [[The Guards Must Be Crazy|napping]] while on duty will be fired. Out of a cannon. Negligence is what allows heroes to slip in.
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** If, by any chances, they are stored underground / in deep caves / some elaborate structures (which seems to be a lot), I'll just collapse the whole place and bury all those artifacts, dump a whole lot of concrete over the area, and set some people to watch over the area in case of heroes coming in to investigate the area.
*** Also, if possible and won't end up in a large disaster, such as the monsters in area dig up the cement, even if nobody blames me for it or it won't lower my public PR, I will use my resources to build a prosperous city on top of the cement filled area after I make sure there are no barracks that have accidentally formed somehow. On top of the most likely area that the item will be and dug down to, I will build a very good hospital that takes care of all diseases or issues, magical or biological, and have it that the basement will be needed for the proper running of the hospital. This way, the hero cannot/will not/doesn't think of digging down in that area to get the item. This hospital, payed for by me and my technology/magic, will not only be good for my PR, but a person will indeed get it into his head to dig down into basement and I will have guards in the hospital. If it's the hero then they will have to waste time trying to explain to everybody why in hell they were doing something that could possibly take down a very effective hospital that is, in fact, run by the very person they are getting the weapon to take that person down.
* If I am accountable to a superior, and [[You Have Failed Me...|I have failed him]], I will not blame my failure on my minions or colleages, nor will I ask for a paycheck or a raise. This [[Tempting Fate|often leads]] to [[You Have Failed Me...|you being executed]], as a common trait of [[The Starscream|Starscreams]] is that they care more about themselves than their employer. I will instead take full responsibility for my failure.
* [[Kill All Humans|Destroy humanity]]. They're [[Humans Are the Real Monsters|just not]] [[Puny Earthlings|worth the]] [[Put Them All Out of My Misery|effort of enslaving]], [[Where I Was Born and Razed|really]].
** But make sure to [[Genocide Backfire|absolutely destroy them, or else]] [[Titan A.E.|they'll bit you back, HARD]].
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* If I take up playing an instrument, I will stay away from the [[Ominous Pipe Organ]].
* I will familiarize myself with the technique known as [[Obfuscating Stupidity]], and I will use it frequently. If the hero is [[Genre Savvy]], he or she will be afraid and think twice before attacking. If not, I get an easy kill.
* I will bring Mooks into my army by funding their education at my nation's top school, thereby ensuring they are intelligent and capable of quick thinking. I will put them through [[Training Fromfrom Hell]], and I will use it to forge them into one large group of [[True Companions]]. I will also select the best soldiers for membership in an elite group based on [[Semper Fi|the US Marine Corps]], and they will be the first responders to any emergency.
** This elite force will not be the first enemy the heroes face in a large-scale battle. On the contrary, I will arrange my armies with the least capable soldiers in the front and have the most [[Badass]] soldiers as my personal bodyguards. By the time the heroes reach them, they will have exhausted their energy on my immense army.
** If the [["Stop Having Fun!" Guys]] bitch about you "cheating" if you beat them while using a tactic, it becomes SOP.
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* I will never, ever tell any of my minions or henchmen "I don't pay you to think." Yes, it's true that people who think too much might be a threat to my authority, but if I wanted a mindless robot, I'd make or hire a mindless robot.
* If my incredible power was gained at the discretion of another being, [[Aladdin (Disney film)|say a genie,]] and I have some number of wishes left, when the hero tells me that something (the genie/the nix/whatever I am currently forcing to do my bidding) is more powerful than I am, instead of flying into a jealous rage and wishing to become a more powerful version of that being without any regards for the consequences I will thank the hero for his concern, proceed with killing him, and then carefully weigh the pros and cons of becoming said being.
* [[Care Bears|If I encounter a life-form able to naturally weaponize the greatest weakness of both myself and my minions]], I will ascertain if they intend to kill me or simply drive me off. If the former, I will have one captured and have my pet [[Mad Scientist]]s tailor a plague to them. If the latter, so much the better, as I now have a way to build up an immunity, just pick on them every few days. However, if they act to impede me to a significant degree, and my sibling keeps dumping his/her incredibly loud and bitchy problem child on me, I will assume he/she's using me to permanently dispose of the kid and use it in a virgin-child sacrifice to call forth an entity (or entities) able to dispose of the first group of life-forms. If my sibling keeps his/her brat home, I will use [[You Have Failed Me...|my most incompetent minion]].
* If there is a hero that has repeatedly foiled my plans in the past, and I have the resources for it, I will consider building a fake stronghold, whether this be an underground lair, floating fortress or orbital space station. I will make it seem as if this fake stronghold is actually the base of my operations, and put a few token guards outside for appearances sake. When the hero attacks the [[The Very Definitely Final Dungeon|"stronghold"]] in expectation of a [[Final Boss|climactic showdown]] with [[Big Bad|me]], they will instead find the place utterly deserted - save for the ton of explosives set to go off the moment they step inside.
* If I hear of a prophecy that says a certain person shall defeat me, I will NOT command my army to go out and kill every person that matches that description. I might end up missing one who'll get mad at my needless slaughtering and [[Nice Job Breaking It, Herod|come to defeat me]].
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* I, too, will learn and master the art of "Quick Save" and "Quick Load." If the hero can manage this in the universe where I rule, surely I can figure it out as well.
* In the lobby of my fortress of evil, I will have all my gas-mask wearing, ultra-evil elite mooks stand next to bright red barrels labeled "Danger: Explosive!" The barrels will be filled with a poisonous gas which will not explode when shot, punctured, or thrown at high speed, but will fill the room with the instantly lethal gas, killing those which are not wearing gas masks.
* If I use mutated biological supersoldiers, I '''will not''' make the prototype my trusted lieutenant, due to being just that; a prototype; they have a tendancy to go insane. After field tests prove successful, I will kill him and raise a more stable, advanced version from infancy like my own child so that they won't grow up resenting me or become apathetic enough to betray their own family. I will tell them bluntly about their origins so they don't [[Go Mad Fromfrom the Revelation]] later in life, but let them know it doesn't matter, and that I love them all the same (this will be a lie, however, forming attachments to someone you intend to send to war against the hero is asking for heartbreak, and engineered supersoldiers can be easily replaced when you have the formula).
** Should I mass produce an army of them, I will actively make them weaker, less intelligent and more instinctual than the trusted one so he or she still feels as though they're the best, and the generic ones won't see him/her and become jealous and loathesome of us. As far as the generics go, I will ''Always'' adhere to rule 48, just in case.
** Should I recieve word my trusted supersoldier has died in the field, I will request them to find their body and make sure they are, in fact, dead before I make a new trusted supersoldier, if they aren't dead and see me with their replacement, it will reveal my lies to both of them, giving me not one, but two new enemies.
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** Failing that, I will hide the statue somewhere no one would ever think to look for it, or even learn it exists. The last thing I need is my [[Eviler Than Thou]] predecessor being released by some asstarded coincidence like [[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|kids arguing next to it]]. I turned him to stone for a reason.
** I will never admit to subjecting people to this fate if the victim remains conscious. [[And I Must Scream]] is rather high on the list of [[Moral Event Horizon]] violations.
* Although I will make [[Staying Alive|backup plans]] [[Back Fromfrom the Dead|for my possible death]], this will '''not''' [[My Death Is Just the Beginning|design this part of the plan]] [[Thanatos Gambit|to be a core element.]]
* My retirement plan for myself is going to have enough challenges to keep my genius occupied. Too many accomplished villains grow bored with enjoying their victory and go back to fighting battles they have already won (thus setting themselves up for defeat at the hands of a hero) purely out of nostalgia.
* I will make sure that I have one person one my evil council whose job it is to argue against anything suggested. He will not be punished for disagreeing with me.
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