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Line 3: === Doctor What === Captain by default, a goofy screwball with a heart of gold. Obsessed with porn and lesbians, and porn ''of'' lesbians. Canadian. * [[A God Am I]]: Parodied with his catchphrase "AND ON THAT DAY I SHALL BECOME AAAA GODDDDDD!!!" * [[Back ~~From~~from the Dead]] ([[Based on a True Story]], would you believe) * [[Catch Phrase]] ("I find that strangely arousing...") * [[Seen It All]] Line 25: For much of the show's run, the only female crewmember. Terrifies most of the men. In a relationship with Landshark. Has a sex dungeon full of people they encounter on their voyages, occasionally added to. * [[Even the Girls Want Her]] * [[Girl ~~With~~with Psycho Weapon]] (The Electric Chinese Razor Yo-yo of Death) * [[Hot Amazon]] Line 38: Engineer and teleporter operator. Hawaiian. * [[Cloudcuckoolander]] * [[A Day in ~~The~~the Limelight]] ("A Day in the Life of G.Bone") * [[Genius Ditz]] * [[Idiot Savant]] Line 45: Engineer. Navajo Indian. * [[Butt Monkey]] (often) * [[Stalker ~~With~~with a Crush]] (on Alyson Hannigan) === Michael === Line 57: === Flocculencio === General layabout and compatriot of Michael. Singaporean of Indian descent. * [[Berserk Button]]: Anyone mentioning the name of his nemesis Justin Pickard causes him to go [[Axe Crazy]]. * [[Brilliant but Lazy]] * [[Once -Acceptable Targets]] (likes to lampshade this) * [[Super-Powered Evil Side]] (In "Pasha's Pilots" after being tortured with a [[Reality Warper]] machine) * [[Vitriolic Best Buds]] (with Michael) Line 80: === Torqumada === Ship's doctor. * [[Brain In Aa Jar]] * [[Deadly Doctor]] * [[Mad Doctor]] Line 92: * [[Oop North]] * [[Phrase Catcher]] ("BLAME THANDE!") * [[Stalker ~~With~~with a Crush]]: on Keira Knightley. === GBW === Line 107: * [[Berserk Button]] ("I AM NOT A MORMON!!") * [[Incorruptible Pure Pureness]] * [[Mission ~~From~~from God]] (to destroy Doc's porn collection) === Hendryk === Line 113: * [[Hero Worshipper]] (to Doctor What) * [[Me Love You Long Time]] * [[Shout -Out]] (Likes to make [[H.P. Lovecraft ~~(Creator)~~\|HP Lovecraft]] references) === DMA === Line 123: Optician, nurse, cartographer and Reformed Sheepist Priest. Also practices Pantslessness. * [[Ensemble Darkhorse]] * [[Put Onon a Bus]] (After getting banned from the board in real life) * [[Scenery Censor]] Line 130: * [[Butt Monkey]] * [[Doesn't Like Guns]] * [[Send in ~~The~~the Clones]] (we've seen more alternate versions of Luakel than any other character, largely so the writers could kill him off in a variety of interesting ways; this eventually became the basis for a plot arc) * [[Trauma -Induced Amnesia]] * [[Wide -Eyed Idealist]] === Kit === Line 139: * [[Land of My Fathers and Their Sheep]] * [[Robosexual]]: Admires Leo Caesius' robot body's 'fabulous glutes'. * [[Stalker ~~With~~with a Crush]]: On Leo. * [[Stereotype Gay]] === Leo Caesius === The ship's computer, appearing both as a disembodied voice and incarnate in a robot body. * [[AIA.I. Is a Crapshoot]] * [[Computer Voice]] * [[Cunning Linguist]] Line 151: === Other hangers-on === * [[Big Creepy -Crawlies]] (subverted with [[Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"\|The Mosquito]], a giant mosquito born from a teleporter accident who is perfectly harmless - he's male, and only drinks nectar) * [[No Celebrities Were Harmed]] (subverted with Keira Knightley, a D&D Game World artificially created clone of the actress, who is referred to simply as "Keira Knightley") * [[Paper-Thin Disguise]] (Bobo, a flying brain with tentacles, was at once point stuffed into a Frankenstein body to impersonate Thande and none of the other crew noticed any difference) Line 164: === Grimm Reaper === Second-in-command and professional sadist. Dresses up as [[The Grim Reaper]]. * [[Magnificent Bastard]] (at least, talks the talk) * [[Pet the Dog]] (or cat, rather) Line 173: * [[Her Codename Was Mary Sue]] * [[The Starscream]] * {{spoiler\|[[Duel to ~~The~~the Death]] and [[You Have Failed Me...]]}} === Kilngirl === Line 191: === Dominusnovus === Weapons officer. * [[Casanova]] (or [[Casanova Wannabe]], [[Depending Onon the Writer]]) === Faeelin === Ship's operations and communications. * [[~~Straight~~Invisible ~~Gay~~to Gaydar]] === Midgard === Line 222: === The Germans === A group of German mercenaries, obsessed with politics and perpetually arguing. * [[A-Team Firing]] and [[A -Team Montage]] (due to them being compared to the A-Team, with a Panzer as their van) * [[Back ~~From~~from the Dead]] (Steffen has a [[Heroic Sacrifice]], but his essence survives as the main computer) * [[Cool Tank]] (the Panzer) * [[Funetik Aksent]] Line 246: * [[Church Militant]] * [[Pstandard Psychic Pstance]] (Evil Mr P) * [[Shout -Out]] and [[Lawyer-Friendly Cameo]] (for ''[[Warhammer ~~40000 (Tabletop Game)~~40,000\|Warhammer 40K]]'') * [[Stalker ~~With~~with a Crush]] (Evil Mr P) === The Guild of Cartographers === Or Mappist Cabal, a group of elite mapmakers crewing the ship ''Mercator''. * [[Brotherhood of Funny Hats]] * [[Gadgeteer Genius]] (Magnificate) Line 285: {{reflist}} [[Category:AH ~~Dot Com~~.com: The Series]] [[Category:Characters]] [[Category:Alternate History: The Series]]