Assassin's Creed: Revelations/Funny: Difference between revisions

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* A TV ad for the pre-order version of ''Assassin's Creed: Revelations'' is normal. But a TV ad for the pre-order version of ''Assassin's Creed: Revelations'' sung by [[Tobuscus (Creator)|Tobuscus]]? [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyzIK5MFA94 Hilarious!]
* From the gameplay demo, after finding out the Templars have raised the Great Chain, preventing Ezio from leaving Constantinople by boat. Ezio's reaction?:
{{quote| They raised the chain for ''me''?}}
* Ezio remembering his philandering days:
{{quote| '''Ezio:''' When I was your age my interests were... (distracted by a beautiful woman) were mainly... Salve. (hello)<br />
'''Suleiman I:''' Incredible. I am surprised you got anything done.<br />
'''Ezio:''' As was my mother. }}
** What makes this even more ''outrageously'' hilarious is that he was commenting on Suleiman I's rather busy and professional lifestyle, and despite utterly ''failing'' at describing how his youth was in comparison, he still manages to get the point across regardless.
* Also, Ezio's attempt at wooing the aforementioned beautiful woman:
{{quote| '''Sofia:''' Who are you, messere?<br />
'''Ezio:''' Only the most interesting man in your life.<br />
'''Sofia:''' Che presuntuoso. (Presumptuous.) }}
** Made even better by Ezio having a very [[The Most Interesting Man in Thethe World (Advertising)|Most Interesting Man in the Worldish]] beard.
*** [[The Most Interesting Man in Thethe World|Ezio is the most interesting Assassin in Constantinople.]] [[Memetic Mutation|He doesn't always assassinate Templars, but when he does,]] [[Awesome Yet Practical|he uses the HookBlade.]]
* This gem from Yusuf while explaining bomb-crafting to Ezio:
{{quote| '''Yusuf:''' And don't be afraid to experiment. What's the worst that could happen?}}
** The scene where we first meet Yusuf is pretty silly.
{{quote| '''Yusuf:''' Ezio Auditore de... [[Overly Long Name|la la la.]]}}
* Ezio as a ''minstrel'', outfit, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se4Aek5X4CM singing and all]:
{{quote| ''Young Cesare, I heard him say / [[No Man of Woman Born|he could not be killed by man]]. / So I tossed him through the air / [[Disney Villain Death|to see where he might land]].''<br />
''Cesare, Oh, Cesare / [[Complete Monster|A man of great depravity]] / He thought himself immortal / 'til he had a date with gravity.''<br />
''There was once a man named Duccio / [[Casanova Wannabe|A rat with lecher's taste]] / Whenever he would show himself / My fist would find his face.''<br />
''Fair Lucrezia could not sate / her appetite for lovers / But I suspect she would be fine / [[Brother-Sister Incest|with two or three more brothers]].''<br />
''Oh, the beauties of Firenze / can melt a heart you see / Beware the girls of Roma / [[STD Immunity|lest fire you wish to pee]].''<br />
''I am a tactless minstrel / I sing off-key for coins / If you see me in the street / [[Groin Attack|please kick me in the loins]].''<br />
''The things I do to save the world / surprise me time to time / Like learning how to play the lute / [[Rhymes Onon a Dime|and making these words rhyme]].'' }}
* Not to mention how Ezio seems rather delighted at the opportunity to beat up Italian minstrels.
** After Ezio saves Suleiman at the party:
{{quote| '''Suleiman:''' It is a relief to see you again, ''il mio bel menestrello'' ([[Ho Yay|my handsome minstrel]]). Did I say that right?<br />
'''Ezio:''' [[Sure Why Not|Well enough]]. }}
** The kick is some foreign minstrel save Suleiman from assassination while royal guards can't.
* Duccio, of all people, appear in this game for a short while. Found attempting to woo Sofia Sartor (who isn't pleased) until Ezio pops up from behind:
{{quote| '''Duccio:''' ''[he recognizes you]'' Ah! ''Il diavolo in persona!'' (The devil himself!) Stay back!<br />
'''Ezio:''' Duccio. A pleasure. }}
** You can also still find him in the city afterwards and beat him up. It gives an achievement.
* The fact Desmond created a drink called the "Shirley Templar" when he was a bartender.
** There's a creepy part, though: the drink is a [http://en.[wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirley_Temple_%28cocktail%29:Shirley Temple (cocktail)|Shirley Temple]] with a squirt of gin. A kid's fantasy for adults, like he thought the Templars were... until they kidnapped him as easily as they would pick up some change from a sidewalk.
** Creepy or no, this troper can attest that a "Shirley Templar" is actually pretty tasty!
* During one of the Desmond sequences he discusses how he ended up in [[Big Applesauce|New York]]. Apparently he was following some advice he heard somewhere saying:
{{quote| '''Nameless Voice:''' Go to New York. That way, if you go there with nothing, and you leave with nothing, no one will ask why, and if you leave with something, you're one lucky son of a bitch.}}
* In one mission, Ezio helps the Romanies get back their coin chest. What makes it funny is that you take advantage of your poison darts and spread the rumor of a 'Romani curse'. As more and more people die from the poison darts, the guards start running away. Eventually, you pick the chest up and return it to the Romani camp. As you do so, all the guards run screaming from the 'cursed chest' while Ezio and the Romanies' leader idly chit-chat with their screams in the background.
* Disarming opponents in the fourth Altaïr mission. Who knew seeing an 82 year old man kick someone in the balls was so utterly hilarious?
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:Video Games/Funny]]
[[Category:AssassinsAssassin's Creed: Revelations]]
[[Category:Funny]]